|
[07 Oct 2008|02:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
Dear J,
Your gone and I've never seen our family fall apart like this.
Nates a mess and hes always been the strong one to look after us and now im the one trying to hold myself together everyday to let everyone know its going to be ok.
I want to believe you didnt take the easy way out but the police reports proved me wrong.
I miss you so much and Im sorry i didnt tell you i love you more.
I'm sorry for hanging up on you when we last talked and i think about it everyday. I know i was a bitch sometimes but it was only because your drinking was taking over who you were.
Aside from being my older brother you were my best friend.
You were the only one who ever believed in me and because of that i can say that you are my inspiration and my motivation to do well in life.
Mom is a wreak and you should show her a sign of some sort that your okay. she walks past your door every day to see if maybe you've come home but the door is always open and it breaks her heart.
I love you and im sorry about what happened but i hope you understand i was scared.
I love you and i hope your saving a seat at the bar for me up there!
Love,
your baby sister
p.s. i miss your cooking everyday.
mom tries to cook but it taste like shit.
|
|
|
[07 Oct 2008|01:31am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lonely |
] |
Dear You,
We were together for almost five years and lately you've been deciding I'm not enough because this is a long distance relationship. You've changed as a person; you're not even close to who my baby was anymore. You've been killing me with all your new "partners" in your life but I've always managed to keep myself in there. The words you've said have broken my heart to pieces just for me to pick them up and put it back together waiting for you to break it again. You've been killing me and nothing has ever hurt more.. every day I have to make sure I don't break down, I have to try so hard not to cry. Too many people expect me to be strong and I can't do it anymore; I'm falling and you aren't there to catch me, just like every time I caught you. I told you they didn't care, I told you no one would ever love you as much as I do, no one will ever care. They just wanted you for a "piece" but all you said was how that's not true and how I'm an idiot. Without saying I told you so, it turns out I was right.. I always knew I was. You've come back to me now crying about how you're a mess and that you now know I was the only one who was always true to you.. I can't take you anymore. I've cried, I've cut, I've fallen lower then you and I know I still love you, but every time I talk to you it hurts just as much. I don't know if you have realized or you're just using me because you assume I'm always going to be there, you take advantage of my heart. I'm so confused and I don't know what to do and all I want are answers with TRUTH. I want to know when enough is enough and then I want to know when I finally realize enough is enough why I keep going back to you to try and fix it all. I just need help, I don't know what to do. I need you to be real, to be who you really are so I can figure it out. I want to go back in time knowing what I know now, so things can change, hurt wont happen and so I will never have to love again. I'm tired of loving you.. it kills me but I know I'll never stop.
|
|
|
[29 Sep 2008|10:56pm] |
Dear Adam & Jay,
I just want you to know that I am over you and what I believed could have happened between us. I fell for both of you but now I have stopped caring. I have decided to let you both out of my lives. I understand that I may have to speak to you but all feelings are long gone. I have spent to many sleepless nights thinking about both of you. I am over that. I am moving on. You both can do whatever you want, I do not care anymore. The best scenerio would be the both of you disappearing but lets be honest that will not happen.
It's going to hard I will admit but I know that I can because I need to. I have let go all my hopes and dreams of the future with either of you. I am done. I have left it behind. I hope you both have a great life.
|
|
| So my BFF is a whore... |
[25 Sep 2008|10:05am] |
Dear "BFF,"
We're not best friends anymore. I don't care if we have been since we were 4 years old. I do not like who you've become, a toxic slut.
It was always you, me, Dee, & Lily.. we were BFFS, but you made sure that you ruined that.
You kissed Dee's BF David at a New Years Party & slept with her ex-first-love Dan behind her back.
You slept with Lily's (Your own sister!) ex Memo too (in a 3 some with him and your brother-in-law (gross) that happened more than 3 times).
You tried to kiss my boyfriend and claimed you were drunk, but 5 minutes later was staight enough to drive for food (You fucking bitch).
Add to that you've been cheating on your boyfriend Anthony of 6 years since day one. You slept with ALL 4 of his best friends he's known since childhood that were there for him when his mom died (He only knows about one though and that killed him) along with all the people mentioned above and a couple other guys I know about (and some that I don't).
In fact...you've slept with more guys than I can count & have had more abortions than anyone I know... or have ever heard of. Not that I'm against abortion, I just think it's acceptable for an emergency, not a means of birth control.
I'm all for a girl having fun... but at what cost? You're screwing over everyone just to get attention from guys. It's pathetic. I think..... I'm pretty sure...... I hate you. I don't want to even know you.
Ben and I are getting married next year and we do not want you in our life b/c we both agree you're totally disgusting.
I wish you the best and hope you catch that STD you're searching for.
Thanks,
-R
|
|