| 11:33p |
I must be losing my mind...
My emotions are in a twist... I want to cry for some reason. i dont have anything to cry about.. I want to slit my wrists just to watch them bleed for a moment. them heal them so no one has to know about it. If only it were that easy. I would do it every night. No scars, no evidence what so ever to what I had just done the night before. But nothing is that easy if you've noticed. There is always some kind of consiquence to every action you do. It's a shame how some things go through... It's like you have to fix things before they fall apart. So many lies to keep up with that you never told.
Life is hard. People, and work make it that way. Now it's like you have to start working at sixteen in order to have any kind of life. You have to go to college for any real job. Working long shifts late into the night, not being able to see you're family. There's just to much to keep up with. I know so many older people who cannot even retire because they wouldn't have any money to do so. It's sad... I never want to get old... I dont want any kids... I'm to scared of all of that. Why would I want to bring a child into this world that I might not be able to raise because I'll be working all the time. Or couldn't support to just try and keep a roof over their head. This world to me is to cruel to try to bring something so innocent into it, and try to keep it prue, but still letting him/her know what the world really is. I wouldn't want to shelter them, because then they really wouldn't be able to go out into the world and servive.
It's insane how things are begining to go. Everything is currupt. Nothing is ever really organized to where everything will be okay.
I maybe young... but I understand a lot of what goes on. I listen to everything around me, which I believe is one of the smartest things anyone can do.
Current Music: missing |