| 11:11a |
Why bother....
I don't know why I consum myself in hate, and loathing. That's all I feel for myself. They say have no regrets, but I have quite a few, that I wish that I could fix but cant. I just don't understnad why I worry myself with everything that I've done if I cant fix it. I hate it. I want to change it. I want to change myself. But, now that I think about it the only way to do that is to change the future in a way. Make myself a better person by doing what is right now. But how do I know what is right? I always seem to make the wrong choices. I just cant get it right.
UGH!
I want to slit my wrists but I don't do that anymore. They say it's emo, but who gives a fuck! Majoirty of those people do do it because they have problems! Not just because they want a little extra atintion! I know I don't.. I'm just fine without it from other people. THere are only a couple of people I request their attintion. My boyfriend for one... I can't stand not having it that it's horrible. I hate that I need him so much. What if we were to break up? What would I do then? Lose my mind and wish for god to take me away from all this because i can't live without him. What kind of person have I become? Weak... I wish I was stronger. No matter how hard I try it always comes back and bites me in the ass. I cant stand it, but put up with it because it is my life and I do have to deal with it the best that I can. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......................................... |