| 11:33a |
Warning: if you've ever had an eating disorder, I recommend not reading this.
I just kinda don't want to "trigger" anyone who's been through this.
Augh I read this article in the school newspaper today...the columnist was speaking out against eating disorders, and talked a bit about her own. Once I realize an article is about that sort of thing I need to just not read it. It's somewhat triggering for me I suppose. Not that I'm going to go stop eating because I read about a girl that did...but I guess in some ways it makes me miss that whole thing. The crazy part is...I kinda miss when i was in the heat of it sometimes. I mean, recovery was the hardest part, it really was. That's when I'd get anxiety and panic and...blah. But fall term last year...I was happy for the most part. I mean...augh saying that makes me feel like a sicko. But it's the truth. I shudder when I think about certain parts of last winter term and last spring term. But when I was just not eating and didn't think anyone noticed...I remember feeling just as happy as a clam. Maybe that's a testament to me not being completely healthy even now, but believe me, I'm working on it. Sometimes it's two steps forward, one step back, but I'm realizing I don't have to be a size 4 to look good. I'd like to be a little more fit, but that's a different story.
Anyway, I'm just rambling. I can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving break. I'm not homesick to the point where it hurts, but I do kinda want to be home. My dad was here for the game this weekend, and I realized how much I miss him, and then last night I was talking to him online and he was talking about Penny nuzziling his arm, and I just can't wait to get home and play with the dogs, too. Thanksgiving will be good times.
Current Mood: homesick
Current Music: 100 Years-Five for Fighting |