| more drama |
[27 Jan 2003|06:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
well more drama in the guy department with justin.. i dunno he left a message on my answering machine talking to his uncle saying how he could get some bitches and some condoms and what not.. and to not tell me bout it.. well i found out cuz it was left on my answering machine i was pretty pissed.. but i talked to justins mom and she said that justin was really upset about me thinking he would actually do that.. ugh i dunnoz.. im gonna see him soon and well talk about it then.. until now im just gonna give him this one and if anything else happens that im not approving of then im going to leave him.. i mean i love him and i want to believe that hes not doing that stuff but hes a guy.. what i dont exactly understand is why i guy would have a girlfriend if they arent going to be faithful whats the point ya know?? well oh wellz.. i have off work tomorrow and wednesday and i got to go get blood work done tomorrow.. to see if im prego or not.. i hope im not that wouldnt be good.. im not ready for a kid at 16.. well ill be 17 very shortly so i just mainly say that im 17 but im not oh wellz.. anyways though.. im going to the Y today.. with erin but she takes forever to get somewhere so we'll see.. well there aint much to say really i mean besides the whole justin thing.. i mean i love him with my whole heart.. and i want to trust him.. i just see it as in life you gotta take risks.. and if you dont then you'll never know.. well im going to take this risk and if i dont take this risk then im going to wonder forever if he really did that or if he didn't.. ill never know and im just going to see.. plus im going to get hurt many times after this.. if not by a guy but by something else.. so its not like it'll be the first time anyway.. it'll actually be the 4th.. well im going buh byez.. love ya justin i love you
|
|
| .. i just realized.. |
[25 Jan 2003|11:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
shorty swing my way.. |
] |
I just realized the reason why i havent spoiled justin yet.. i mean with Bryan i spoiled the hell out of him..every last penny i had i would spend it on him.. but i just realized that i dont do that to justin because im still scared.. ive just started to realize these lil self conscience things .. i was wondering why i didnt spoil him.. i mean i love him to death but i just havent done it cuz i just am too scared to do it yet.. i mean ive gotten him some things but ive been real tight with my money.. im starting to realize that i come first than justin i think thats how im thinking anyway.. thats the only logical reason i can come up with.. i mean every boy i had been with before bryan i had wanted to buy them the world just to show that i care.. but im just starting to realize that material things just arent what keep us wanting each other.. its just the love.. and plus i dont want to find out that justin is just using me for the things i can get him.. and i havent given him anything.. and when i tried he wouldnt take it cuz i guess he didnt want me to think that.. i love him with my heart.. and i cant believe that he gave me his.. i think we'll work if its supposed to.. oh shyt i feel sick.. god damn baby.. well if theres a baby.. ugh i hate feeling sick all the time and having my stomache hurt all the time.. well i miss my baby i cant wait to see him.. 7 hours of work is a killer on your feet.. ugh.. my feet hurt so bad and i got a headache and i feel sick to my stomache.. ugh nice life i have right now huh?.. well g2g buh byez love ya lotz
|
|
| .. fawkin justin |
[25 Jan 2003|02:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 restless |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
baby hit me one more time.. britney spears |
] |
well i finally talked to him last night.. i kind of felt like i was making a big deal out of nothing.. i mean i just hadnt talked to him in a day.. anyway the place where he was staying anyway didnt have a phone.. so oh wellz.. i mean its all good.. but we went at it again about kim.. he told me he wasnt going to talk to her no more.. but apparently he has been.. so he pretty much lied to me.. i said i told you i didnt want you talkin to her and he says i can talk to whoever i want to.. i think the only reason he said that was because his uncle was on the phone too.. cuz he did the 3 way call thing.. i dunnoz.. im gonna see him soon anyway.. so its all good.. i miss him.. but im still pissed at him bout all that.. but i know he dont like being put on the spot bout all that shyt.. and he just wants me to trust him.. i ask him all the time and im sure hes sick of it by now.. and trust me he shows when hes mad bout me asking them questions.. oh wellz though.. i talked to mark last night.. well dis morning like around 2:30 in the morning.. yeah.. hes wants me to break up with justin.. just like kim.. they all just want justin to be un happy.. i dunno why.. i mean justin did some fawked up shyt but i mean hes trying now.. to get his shyt together.. and mark told me to tell justin that he wants all his clothes back.. before they press charges and thats all justin needs.. so im going to have to let him know about that.. well i dont really have much to say i got a 7 hour work day today.. ugh i hate working lotz of hours.. well im going to get off of here.. buh byez love ya lotz.. justin i love you
|
|
| .. babysittin.. |
[22 Jan 2003|08:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 aggravated |
] |
well im babysitting the kids for steph.. fun fun i always do this.. i wanted to see them anyway they're cute when they wanna be.. i miss justin sooo much.. i cant wait to see him.. which isnt for another week.. but its a lot closer then march.. oh wellz anyways though.. i talked to mark today and hes saying a whole bunch of crap to me and i dunno who to believe anymore.. justin gets soo mad when i dont believe him and mark just says he doesnt care but insists on persuading me to believe him.. i dunno im sick of drama but what can ya do.. i went to night school today.. that wasnt too bad.. i mean all i did really was take an assessment test to see where they are going to place me and then tomorrow i have to go back to make my schedule.. i gotta work tomorrow, friday and saturday.. fun fun.. but hey i need the money i really want to get that outfit from rave it was tooo cute omg.. i want it soo bad anyways though.. there really aint much to talk about.. i mean nothing new except that earlier justin was being a butt hole but after we talked about it.. it seemed okay he said he was just tired so whatever.. he was just in a real bad mood.. good for him i dont appreciate him taking it out on me.. i didnt do nothing to deserve being treated like that.. omg fawkin kids are soo damn needy ugh i swear.. and i gotta deal with kids soon and im not sure that i want to.. ugh they cry and complain wayyyy too much for me.. well im going to get them something to drink so theyll shut the fawk up.. alright buh byez
|
|
| .. life.. |
[21 Jan 2003|09:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
i hope u dance by katie wallmack.. i think? |
] |
ughz.. i swear every entry i make is it ever a happy one.. well i guess i have a few.. i went to work out at the YMCA today for 2 hours it felt soo good to work out.. you have no idea.. and then i went to the mall with Erin, Kristen, and Mike.. it was fun we were there for like 4 hours just walking around and looking at stuff.. there are soo many cute things there.. lolz.. at hot topic there was this like pink flight attendant dress it was soooo cute.. i tried it on omg it looked so cute.. i think im gonna get it.. and then there was this pink shirt at rave with these white pants it was tooo cute.. im gonna definately get that for valentines day.. and they had this lingurie at victoria secret that justin would just die if he saw it on me.... it was only 38.00 for the set it was sooo cute.. i hate going to the mall when i dont have any money.. but i get paid on thursday and ill prolly owe my dad like 50 and erin 5 for gas and then ill spend the rest on that rave outfit then next pay check ill get the lingurie thing.. anyways though.. i love justin soo much i cant wait to see him.. all of these entries that i have im gonna print them out and send them to justin in the mail because he doesnt have a computer down there and i want him to see what i write and how i really feel and all that good stuff.. everyone thinks hes going to hurt me.. well actually just my dad but i dunno .. who knows i guess im just going to have to find out in see i just hope that justin can prove everyone wrong.. and oh yeah when i went to the mall i got a make over thing at macys.. lolz.. it was fun.. the eye makeup was a lil too much for me but the rest looks good.. well im going to go buh byez
|
|
| ugh i aint got nuffin else to do.. |
[19 Jan 2003|08:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Heaven.. Yanou |
] |
What Do You Wear to Bed?
Brought to you by Faytrial
Are you NASTY or NICE?
Quiz made by Angela
// series one - as usual
-- Name: Danielle
-- Birthdate: 4-24-86
-- Birthplace: south korea
-- Current Location: newport
-- Eye Color: dark brown
-- Hair Color: dark brown
-- Righty or Lefty: right
-- Zodiac Sign: taurus
-- Innie or Outtie: Innie
// series two - describe
-- Your heritage: 100% korean
-- The shoes you wore today: my nike air max
-- Your hair: dark brown.. and curly
-- Your weakness: .. dont worry bout it
-- Your fears: ..dying alone
-- Your perfect pizza: pepperoni pizza
-- One thing you'd like to achieve: to graduate high school and go to college
// series three - what is
-- Your most overused phrase on aim: whatever
-- Your thoughts first waking up: .. god im tired
-- The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: their body
-- Your best physical feature: dunnoz.. ask justin
-- Your bedtime: whenever im tired
-- Your greatest accomplishment: it will be graduating
// series four - you prefer
-- Pepsi or coke: neither
-- McDonald's or Burger King: burgerking
-- Single or group dates: single
-- Adidas or nike: nike
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: lipton ice tea
-- Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
-- Cappuccino or coffee: dunnoz
-- Boxers or briefs: boxer briefs
// series five - do you
-- Smoke: ciggerettes
-- Cuss: yeah
-- Sing well: i think so
-- Take a shower everyday: yeah
-- Have a crush(es): yeah
-- Who are they: Justin
-- Do you think you've been in love: yeah 1 too many times
-- Want to go to college: of course
-- Like high school: nope
-- Want to get married: yeah im engaged
-- Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: yeah
-- Believe in yourself: .. i suppose
-- Get motion sickness: nope
-- Think you're a health freak: no
-- Get along with your parents: never
-- Like thunderstorms: no.. they're scary
-- Play an instrument: used to.. the flute
// series six - in the past month, did/have you
-- Drank alcohol: yeah
-- Smoke(d): yeah
-- Done a drug: yeah unfortunately
-- Have Sex: nope
-- Made Out: nope
-- Gone on a date: nope
-- Gone to the mall?: yeah.. like everyday like a week ago
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: nope
-- Eaten sushi: nope.. dont plan on trying it either
-- Been on stage: nope
-- Been dumped: nope
-- Gone skating: nope
-- Made homemade cookies: .. umm not homemade but the pillsbury ones
-- Been in love: yeah.. still am
-- Gone skinny dipping: nope.. too cold
-- Dyed your hair: nope
-- Stolen anything: nope
// series seven - have you ever
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing?: nope
-- If so, was it mixed company: never played a game like that before
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yeah
-- Been caught "doing something": well yeah but they didnt know
-- Been called a tease: yuup.. JUSTIN
-- Gotten beaten up: nope
-- Changed who you were to fit in: nope
// series eight - the future
-- Age you hope to be married: 18 or 19
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 2.. Damion Michael, and Gabriel Marie
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: beautiful
-- How do you want to die: .. in my sleep
-- Where you want to go to college: North Carolina.. or Flordia
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: be a paralegal
-- What country would you most like to visit: Korea.. to see what its like
// series nine - opposite sex
-- Best eye color?: blue.. piercing blue ones
-- Best hair color?: brown
-- Short or long hair?: short
-- Best height: taller than me
-- Best weight: doesnt matter if they are muscular
-- Best articles of clothing: underwear
-- Best first date location: .. the beach
-- Best first kiss location: wherever it decides to happen
// series ten - number of
-- Number of girls I have kissed in my life: 2
-- Number of boys I have kissed: like.. 24 i think now
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: umm.. 2
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: .. 3
-- Number of CDs that I own: .. dunnoz.. not a lot like maybe 40
-- Number of piercings: 8.. 4 in each ear
-- What are they: ears
-- Number of tattoos: none
-- What are they?: none
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: i think once.. when my mom died
-- Number of scars on my body: .. too many to count
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: .. Bryan for a start
well im done.. im bored and amber wants to get on.. so im getting off buh byez
|
|
| ..w0rk |
[19 Jan 2003|01:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pleased |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Heaven .. by Yanou |
] |
i hate going to work but hey im getting paid so its all good.. i dont in until 4:30 so its alright.. i gotta get some ciggerettes before i go into work or im going to go crazy them customers can get really annoying sometimes.. please explain to me why you cant just use plastic bags.. i mean ur going to take it home and prolly just throw them anyway anyhow right.. so what exactly is the point to that.. oh wellz though people can be such a pain in the ass.. well me and justin are doing fine.. i mean thats how it feels anyway.. i told him that when we broke up i that i had sex with james he was pretty pissed off but there aint nuffin i can do about it it was already done if i could take it back i prolly would but its already done so ya know.. well i love justin i miss him.. im prolly going to see him real soon and i cant wait.. neither can he.. ugh love it feels so great.. you know that song.. "some people wait a life time for a moment like this, some people search forever, for that one special kiss oh i cant beleive its happening to me some people wait a life time for a moment like this." thats my song i waited forever to feel like this and now i do its so great that and that song heaven by yanou.. it goes something like "now nothing can change what you mean to me, we've been down this road before but its over now, baby your all that i want when your lying here in my arms im finding it hard to believe were in heaven, love is all that i need and i found it there in your heart, it isnt to hard to see were in heaven, now my dreams are coming true through the good times and the bad ill be standing here by you." that song i thought was meant for me and bryan but now i see it only means something when you actually feel that way.. and thats how i feel when im with justin... i feel ivinsible.. or however you spell it.. im just happy.. well mom wants to get on some im getting off.. so buh byez.. justin and danielle always!!
|
|
| Love |
[17 Jan 2003|09:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
never call u bitch again.. TuPac |
] |
i love, love.. its so great.. i just love being with justin he makes me so happy.. i dont know what to do with out him.. well i do but i wouldnt like that to happen.. ugh well love sucks now.. i hate drama i swear.. man i cant get away from it.. justin was talking to kim today and its pissing me off.. ya know whatever she needs to leave him alone she aint gonna have him.. i fawkin hate kim.. she needs to get out of my life.. and justin.. ugh i dunno man i was having a really good day today.. i dunno man she just pisses me off.. fawkin drama.. man i cant deal with that.. man i dunno why i get so jealous.. ugh i dont like feeling like that.. my day went good and everything was peachy and i was smiling.. i dunno my day is getting better omg im getting to that point where he makes my emotions when he does something and ugh whatever.. ugh anyways though im babysitting the kids to get a lil feel of what it might feel like.. ugh justin is such a punk lolz.. omg these kids are so annoying they just keep yelling and screaming and all that.. omg justin is going to the bathroom and stuff and all that good stuff.. justin is a penis .. a PENIS.. ugh oh wellz.. i still love him.. well buh byez
|
|
| dayz go by quick.. |
[17 Jan 2003|10:39am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
uncomfortable |
] |
damn its already the 17th of january... days go by real quick.. oh wellz.. drama department again.. like always bullshit that goes on in my life.. kim said that my boyfriend justin said i was ugly... im sure hes going to say that right.. shes so dumb omg... she just wants me to think that justin is a bad guy so that ill leave him and she can be happy knowing that hes all alone.. omg shes so gay.. ugh anyways my stomach hurts right now.. and it dont feel too good.. i hate when my stomach hurts and its been hurtin for the past forever why does it gotta be like that.. well im going cuz ambers going to fix my journal buh byez
|
|
| ...STRESS... |
[15 Jan 2003|08:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
stressed |
] |
man... i wish i didnt have to worry bout so much.. i actually dont but i choose to i guess.. i hate it though.. i really do.. i mean why do i gotta be blessed with a brain that thinks so damn much.. that all i ever do is think and i just wish sometimes i didnt have a brain and didnt think bout stuff like that.. i mean i like having one cuz its good to have but i dunno.. i feel so bad for putting this stress on my dad.. i mean i put him through soo much shyt and i feel back.. but what am i gonna do ya know.. im 17 yrs old.. and i dunno i just wish that things were easier.. well i guess i just picture the fairy tale life and just wish for it happen i mean i try to so hard to just make my life good and to make something out of it.. but so many obstacles get into the way i mean i never know what to do or whats gonna happen next.. oh well yeah.. for some odd reason it sounds pathetic but when i talk to justin i feel less stressed out.. like i feel that i can do what i gotta do and get it done.. i dunno hes just so supportive of me and him.. like hes so positive that we are going to work out and that i have nothing to worry bout... i mean for all i know hes out with some other girl.. but either way he comes back to me calling me on the phone and telling me how much he loves me.. i mean thats all he ever says to me and it just makes my heart flutter and me feel really light headed.. it just makes me so happy to know that i got someone on my side and whos gonna be there regardless of what i do.. i dunno it dont make much sense really but who knows.. i mean i love him with my whole heart and he makes everything seem so much easier to deal with and thats actually something that i need in my life.. i know hes down in north carolina getting his life together for me.. and i love him for that.. i guess i just want a fairy tale and im just never going to get it.. ugh fawkin smuts man they piss me off.. oh well.. im done with this entry buh byez
|
|
| fawkin drama |
[13 Jan 2003|11:57am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
I dont know what to believe anymore.. so much shyt is going on now.. i fawkin hate it.. i know im with him and hes mine and i know he told me that he wants to marry me and for me to be with him forever.. that i was the one.. but now im getting emails from his ex girlfriend telling me that hes talking shit on me and tell her that he wants to get back together with her.. i dont know what to believe anymore.. im so stressed out and now im upset and confused.. my heart is telling me to believe justin and to be with im and let this shyt pass and thats shes just saying that cuz shes hurt..i mean why the hell would she care so much about if im with him or not.. why does she care.. i mean when i tried to tell brandy that bryan was playing her i did it for my own satisfaction.. i just didnt want her to be with him because i was hurt.. and thats what i think shes trying to do.. im so scared that im going to get hurt.. i mean he talks to me on the phone all the time and he calls me all the time and updates me on what he is doing and where he is going pretty much.. and he tells me he loves me and that he wants to be with me for the rest of hislife so why is this shit hurtin me so bad.. why am i so scared.. i mean he wouldnt tell his family that hes marrying me if he really wasnt serious.. and he wouldnt talk about me to his family all the time if he really wasnt serious.. maybe he just wants to string her along like i did with those other guys and just didnt really mean it... i mean its nice to know that someone else still wants to be with me regardless.. ya know.. so for all i know hes doing the same thing.. i dunno.. i hate this shyt i fawkin hate it and i wish it would end.. well shes done with him anyway so i think that everything will be fine now.. im just going to keep on with this and see how it goes.. well im done with this.. for right now buh byez
|
|
| i fawkin hate this house |
[09 Jan 2003|07:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pissed off |
] |
i fawkin hate this house so much.. i hate living here i want to move out so bad.. he wont let me do shit.. he wont let me do anything at all.. i cant even go out with friends or anything... hes always yelling.. thats why i got to ambers every day.. beacuse id rather go there than be here.. id rather be anywhere then here.. but i dont have a choice if i move out hes taking everything from me.. even the clothes that i bought.. he gets on my nerves.. i hate living here so much.. he wont even let me talk to justin.. i could move down there if i want to.. he said i could.. ugh i hate it here so much.. i cant stand my dad so much.. god i hate it here.. all he does is bitch at me about everything.. i really want to move out.. i wish he would just get off my back.. omg i hate it here.. ugh what am i going to do living here.. i want to move out.. i know i keep saying that but i do.. i want to so much.. god i have the worst head ache now in got to get a plan to move out .. i really really do.. i hate it here so much.. i think im just going to go see justin and stay down there with him.. he said i could move down there with him if i ever needed a place to stay.. and im needing a place to stay now.. i hate it here so much.. god i hate living here.. i hate this place so much.. all i want to do is hang out with my friends i dont know why its such a big deal.. god i hate it here.. bye
|
|
| love is a great feeling!!!! |
[08 Jan 2003|12:17am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
have u ever - brandy |
] |
ugh.. im so bored.. its like 12:11am.. i dont gotta do anything tomorrow really except i have an appointment thats about it.. anyways though.. i talked to justin he told me how much he loves me and how much he wamts me to stay with him and how hes going to be back soon.. i told him i couldnt wait to spend Valentines day with him.. thatll be so great.. i cant wait .. hes the only guy that i can even think about right now. hes the only guy i want and i told him that.. he told me he never got attached to a girl so quickly and that he knows that i actually care about him and hes never had that before.. that hes not going anywhere.. and i told him the same.. that i want to see him soo bad because i just want to kiss him.. or touch him.. or just look into his gorgeous eyes.. im really fallin in love with him.. i really am.. i dunno if i want this yet.. this distance is really making me not take him for granted and im really starting to appreciate him.. even though he doesnt have his shyt together yet hes trying for me. and i love him for that.. and he treats me good.. which is the only thing that i care about right now.. with bryan he treated me good.. until the last like month and he treated me like shyt and everyone hated bryan for that.. but now justin treats me good and a lot of my friends still dont like him.. i just dont know why they cant be happy for me.. that i found a guy that apprecaites me and wants to be with me for me.. and loves me because im good to him.. he basically treats me the way i treat him.. and thats the way a relationship should be right? i just love everything about him.. the fact that hes trying the fact that he loves me the fact that hes him and he doing him regardless of what anyone says.. i love him.. i know ive said it like a million times but i really do.. and i really really mean it this time.. if i didnt mean it before i do now.. with all my heart.. justin 12-4-02 til forever baby.. or at least in my heart
|
|
| .......ahhhhhh..... |
[07 Jan 2003|09:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thoughtful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
i miss you... aaliyah.. for u justin |
] |
well as usual im thinking about justin.. i wonder when he doesnt cross my mind.. if thats even possible i bet these lil journal entries get old after a while.. so maybe ill talk about something new.. well hold on let me just add one thing.. im waiting for justin to call me.. okay new topic.. well i had to work today only 4 hours so it wasnt so bad.. umm.. im staying the night at my girl ambers house tonight like i usually do.. and then tomorrow i gotta go to an appointment at like 5 with my dad for some drug evaluation or something.. i dont even do drugs like that so i dont understand why they are making me go to rehab for it.. there are alot other people that are worse off and then me and they dont go to any rehab.. i start night school soon.. like 12 days til i start.. i dunno how itll be i hope its not bad.. i really wanna make it through it so that i can go to college... anyways though.. i just took pictures to shoprite so they can get developed ... theres some pictures from christmas on there that i really want.. anyway though.. i really want a ciggerette but i dont got any it really sucks oh well though what am .. i actually dont even know how i feel today.. lost, upset, missing someone special, bored, tired, confused all in one.. i dunno how u would put that all into one emotion.. like i love justin and i want to be with him but i want to be with someone i can actually touch ya know.. this distance thing is killin me.. its going on like 3 weeks and i write him letters.. i wrot ehim 2 and sent them out and i just wrote a 6 page one tonight and im going to send that one out soon.. then my girl stephanie copied this saying thing from some web page it makes you think im going to copy it on here.. so here goes....
"Have you ever noticed that the worse way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you can never have them...when the moment you cant feel them under your fingertips you miss them? Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you had not, or saying and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. THey rae the things you get ashamed of because words diminish them, words shrink things that seem timeless when they were in your head... to no more than living size when they are brought out... Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart.. but if you don't you might break theirs. Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides who it likes and who it doesnt. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own when you least suspect it or even when you dont want it to. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was to afraid to let you? Too many of us stay closed up because we are too afraid to care too much.. for fear that the other person does not care as much, or at all. Have you ever loved someone and they had absolutely no idea whatsoever? Or fell for you best friend in the entire world, and then sat around and watched them fall for someone else? Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fears of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid...afraid of what we dont know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But everytime we tell a lie.. the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have, or could have had. No one waits forever..."
Now doesnt that just make you wonder what you are missing out on or what is actually out there for you.. its really good and it just makes you want to go and tell that special someone how you really feel for them.. dont worry if you dont get the answer that you want just at least they know how you feel and go on that.. i mean i told Bryan how much i loved him and he told me that he wasnt ready for it yet.. lil did i know a couple weeks later he told me how much he loved me and how much he wanted me in his life.. only to break my heart later on.. but at least at that one moment in time we were on the same page and had love for each other and couldnt see living without each other.. moments like that some people wait a life time for.. and some wait around wondering when it'll happen to them.. but only to find out that they missed it because they were too scared to say it first scrared they say well i dont love you.. when for all you know that other person could of been just as scared.. oh wellz.. im done writing.. buh byez.. ONE
|
|
| missin my baby |
[06 Jan 2003|08:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 horny |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
.. angel by monica.. cuz thats my song to u justin |
] |
What's *Your* Sex Sign?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
ahhh.. im bored so im takin these damn quizzes again.. i dunno what to do cuz there aint shyt to do.. im just bored sitting on the internet like a dork bored out of my mind.. oh wellz.. im not even tired.. either.. i prolly wont go to bed til like real late and then i gotta be at work at like 1 which isnt to bad .. i only work 4 hours tomorrow.. then i have off wednesday then i work thursday friday and saturday.. figures.. i start night school really soon so i gotta get 40 dollars set away for that..
heres another quiz.. always wanted to be part of the real world i actually was thinking of signing up when i turned 18 .. nother year until i can sign up.. that would be pretty cool if i got it.. it sounds like fun being with a bunch of strangers.. i like meeting new people.. all the time.. i dunno why i just do plus i would like to travel around the world and what not.. oh wellz.. im gonna take another quiz.. ill paste it on here in a second
lolz..i have a romantic nipple isnt that nice.. lolz.. i didnt know that they had nipples like that.. oh wellz anyways off to take another quiz cuz there aint shyt to do around here in boring delaware... well there werent anyones that were worth takin.. so im just going to get off of here.. Justin i love you baby.. i miss you.. hope we can be together really soon.. ill be down there though to see you so dont worry.. love ya...
|
|
| ....ah....justin |
[03 Jan 2003|09:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
Well justin is still in south carolina.. he wont be coming back for a while.. i miss him.. his uncles want me to come down there so i can see him... he obviously talks about me alot cuz they think im such a good kid and what not and they want me to give justin another chance cuz they think that if i talk to him he'll change his ways and try to do something good with his life who knows.. well besides the justin topic.. my aunt is a bitch and im highly pissed off at her and want nothing to do with her at the moment.. and maybe forever.. shes just plain out ignorant to me and i dont appreciate it.. she acts like she knows me and what not when she really needs to talk to her kids i mean her kids are worse than me and at least im trying to get my shyt together.. but she dont want to see that obviously.. she thinks her kids are saints or thats how she acts anyway... ugh whatever im sick of all the drama in my life.. i just wish for one day things would go the way i want them to go.. i would never complain again.. well wait i retract that statement i might but i dunno.. oh wellz im bored there aint shyt to do and i got a car and theres no where to go... i got off tomorrow and sunday from work so thats werd i hope there is something to do though.. i aint trying to stay inside the house all day and sit around and do nothing.. actually now that i think about it im actually tired and could prolly go to sleep if i tried.. but i dunno if i want to try... anyway i might get a job at DEB that would be werd its better than pathmark... but i mean pathmark aint that bad i know everyone but id rather work at a clothing store cuz thats discounts.. well im going to get off of this lil journal thing.. cuz i dont got nothing left to say thats interesting.. so buh byez ONE
|
|
| .. im sad |
[31 Dec 2002|09:59am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 busy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Wangsta - 50 cent... Justin <3 |
] |
Well i talked to justin last night.. ugh how much i miss him.. he called me and told me that he misses me and he still loves me.. when i heard him say it, it sent tingles down my spine.. i really miss him and i think i still love him.. i hope he calls me today.. well i gotta go to aquilla today so i can get drug tested and what not.. and i hate that.. oh well i hope i dont qualify.. i dont wanna go.. anyway though i gotta go to work from 1:30 to 8:30 today yay its so exciting i dont wanna go to work but hey its only 6 and a half hours but i dont even feel like working today i hate work it sucks.. but at least im makin money thats the only reason why i go because i need that money.. anyways though justin i love you lotz.. i miss him so much i cant wait until he comes back.. he wants me to move to flordia with him.. i told him i would after i get out of college and he said that he would wait for that and that, thats cool.. good i hope it goes through even though 9 times out of 10 it wont because thats like years from now.. but who knows i sure dont i cant predict the future i wish i could though that would be pretty hot anyway though i called Brian and his phone was off so i guess i dunno.. he doesnt act like hes even interested but he says he doesnt know because he doesnt know me.. but how the hell is he going to get to know me if he doesnt talk to me.. thats one thing ill never understand.. oh well though thats just how people want to be so good for them. im not stressing over it because i feel like my hearts still with justin anyway and i miss him so much for like the 18th time that ive said that in this entry.. sorry lolz.. well im going to get off of here because i gotta get dressed so i can go to that stupid drug test thing.. buh byez ONE
|
|
peaceful
