Monday, November 8th, 2004
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1:08 pm - wHaT yOu WaiTiNg FoR?
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well it's been a while since i've updated this thing. lots of stuff has been goin on. ive been way too busy and mostly too tired to sit down and mess with this. so where should i start. lets see...ive been working at goody's in m'boro for almost a month now. i like it a lot. its great to finally make my own money...i dont have to ask mom for it anymore. i got a cell phone in my name. woo hoo. now she cant bitch at me for using hers and take it away from me. but anyways. work is fun for the most part. i dont really like standin on my feet for 8 hours a day...but its not too bad. its a job and thats all that matters. of course my mom is bitching now cuz i have to take her car all the time...so thats really put a rush on her to get me a new one. she said she would get me one for sure for christmas but i have to pay the insurance. which is no biggy. i think i can handle that. on another note...me and buddy are still doin great. things couldnt be more perfect at the moment. i really dont know what i would do without him. ahh anyways...i get paid thursday woooo. i think me and buddy are goin to knoxville since we both dont have to work. that should be fun. i need to do some christmas shoppin. i need to get somethin done with this hair of mine too. i think im gonna get it cut short again...and get some red highlights put in it. i think that would look neat. oh well.. this isnt makin much sense. im not really in a mood to type. i gotta run to m'boro to exchange some clothes. i'll prolly update more later. oh and for anyone who has live journal let me know. i made an account there which is gonna be friends only. so let me know if ya have it and i'll add ya. love yuns....
current mood:  busy
current music: Gwen Stefani - What You Waiting For
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, October 14th, 2004
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12:54 am
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BASICS
* Who the hell are you? (sum it up in 5 words) WOO! I AM A SCARECROW!
*Ok now tell me your name: Ashley
*Last time you kissed someone, who, where, and why: Tonight, Buddy, Outside my house, because he's was leavin to go home.
*Last person you saw who you wished you had kissed: hmm no one
*Last big mistake you made: dont even need to go there
* people who really piss you off and why: cocky ppl ...it gets on my nerves!
*people who you adore at the moment: buddy and my girls of course
*an object that you couldn't live without: the phone
*favorite body part of the opposite sex: lips
*worst thing your parents ever caught you doing: Hmm...there was this one time...on the couch. :|
FINISH THE SENTENCE
*i have a terrible fear of.... michael myers lol
*i can't stop ... thinkin about him
*wouldn't it be wierd if..... i have no clue...its too late for this shit
*i wish I had never..... talked to that one person
*I wish I would've..... ignored him lol
ALL ABOUT U & HIM
*Best date ever: i have too many ...hmm...but one of the best was the night me and buddy went to the lake and layed on a blanket in the sand under the stars...aww :)
*Weirdest place to get it on: ur parents bed :S
*Favorite place to get it on: my hot tub
*Best kisser: Buddy
* Best memory w/ the opposite sex: gosh i have way too many...but this past saturday night is definetly one of the best ;) and the day we went to gatlinburg
*Kinkiest thing u've ever done: :| hmm thats a lil too personal
*Most memorable "love scene": saturday night...my room...candles burnin...music playin.... and the night in the hot tub while it was raining. good times. ;)
HAVE U EVER...
*climbed a mountain: yep
*ate sushi: No but i would
*went to camp: No
*wanted to die: Yeah
*stolen ne thing: yeah when i was a lil kid...lol
*wanted to die: Yeah
*thought you were deeply in love: MmmHmm
*farted in public: lol
*went to mexico: No not yet
*done drugs: no
END THIS WITH......
*You're favorite quote.... "In three words I can sum up everything I know about life: It goes on."
current mood:  mischievous
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Monday, October 11th, 2004
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1:21 am - -sEe iVe BeEn WaiTiN fOr ThiS fOr So LoNg...MaKiN LoVe UnTiL tHe SuN cOmEs Up-
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well i have to say that this weekend was one of the best ive had in a long time. i couldnt have asked for a more perfect saturday night. me and buddy went to the daniel boone festival on friday and saturday. we've went to a festival every weekend for the past month. last weekend was the fall festival...and the weekend before that we went to the chicken festival. but anyways. after we left the festival we went to blockbuster and rented some halloween movies. michael myers skurrs me. :S lol...we watched some of it but ended up not gettin to finish it. my mom and dad decided they were gonna go to gatlinburg for the night. so that was great. we got to spend the night here by ourselves. so where should i start with that. i think we started to watch the movie but we ended up findin better things to do. lol. it was much better to change into somethin a lil more comfortable ;)...light a few candles...and put on some music. it defintely set the mood. and i must say it was quite nice. ..very VERY sexy! i havent been romanced like that in a loooooong time...as corny as that may sound. but it was great. we ended up takin a bubble bath...and then i think we stayed up until 5:30. it was a perfect night...one that i will never forget. :) we got to cuddle up with each other and fall asleep. he woke me up a few times durin the night as he was snugglin up next to me. thats like the sweetest thing...b/c we always seem to wake up at the same time and realize that we're not snuggled up anymore...and then he'll wrap his arms around me and we fall back asleep. its the best feeling...especially when i've started to get cold and then he moves over next to me and his warm body is against mine. its great. :) anyways... i think we woke up around 12. i got in the shower and buddy came in there too and washed my hair for me. it was so sweet. i love him so much. we had such a great time...and ive never felt so loved by anyone in my entire life. we spent most of today layin around bein lazy and watchin football. that seems to be a sunday thing now...layin around and watch football. its fun though...i dont have any complaints. lets see...im sure ive went on too much about my weekend...but i thought it was really REALLY great. so buddy if you're readin this i want you to know i had a really good weekend...and i love you very much. i cant wait to have another one like that soon. lol...anyways on to somethin else. i got a call back from goody's on saturday. i put my application in over there like a month ago or somethin...and they called me and said they wanted me to come in for an interview on tuesday. so thats good...i hope i get the job. it would definetly help me out. my mom has promised me a car for christmas so thats another good thing. and i actually believe her this time. things seem to be goin pretty good right now with everybody. i hope they stay this way. im happy...and i have the perfect boyfriend to complete me. usually im writin in here to complain about somethin..but not today. things are actually calm for a change. but with my luck somethin bad will prolly happen now. hopefully not. well im startin to ramble on now and its not makin much sense. so i guess i'll stop there. love yuns!
current mood:  happy
current music: the "GiT Er DoNe" mix
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Thursday, September 30th, 2004
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8:09 pm - -sO mUcH fOr My HaPpY eNdiNg-
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well who knows when i'll get to post this...my lovely computer is being a piece of shit today. actually everything has been shitty today. this definetely goes down as one of the worst days of my life. everything is going wrong...i cant think of anything that has went right. my mom is really about to push me over the edge. i cant take it anymore. i hate when she gets in one of her moods and its like she just doesnt care about anybody but herself. and she's startin to be like that a lot here lately. she is so selfish...and i think its even went beyond that. i woke up early this mornin only to be yelled at by my mom. what a nice thing to wake up to. anyways...she got pissed off at me b/c i wanted to take her car to barbourville so i could put in my application at the nursing home there. she said some pretty cruel and hurtful things that even i dont wanna repeat. well i end up going anyways and i thought that i would feel better after knowing that i had made some kind of attempt to change things. but after i left the nursing home i still felt discouraged and like it was all pointless. i dont think anybody takes me seriously. im sure they thought i was still in high school...cuz i know i look like im only about 14. i just dont think they think im serious about a job at a place like that. considerin i still look like a lil kid. it just makes me mad. i have a feeling my application will never even get looked at. thats like the 3rd application ive put in at a place like that. and i even tried places other than a nursing home. so what is the point of trying? i dont see any. looks like im gonna have to live here at home in this hell hole even longer. it sucks so bad...and some ppl just have no clue what im talking about. but trust me if u had to be around my mom longer than 5 minutes you would know what im talkin about. but anyways i come back home and mom still hasnt even spoken to me. buddy called and i was a complete bitch to him. i shouldnt be like that with him...cuz he had no clue what had went on...and was tryin to be nice to me. i just snapped...and it makes me feel horrible now. i shouldnt be like that...but i really cant help it when i have to put up with her shit all the time. this is just gonna be really tough now...especially since they picked up the blazer...and now all we have is moms car. but i think its pretty pathetic that she goes out and gets a brand new car. and i am stuck with nothing. i mean at this point i would have been happy with anything. she acted like she would get me one for christmas...but some things have happened that lead me to think that they wont get me one then. and even if they did they would use that to keep me here even longer. im so sick of everything. ive never been more determined to move out of my house...and i will do whatever it takes to do it. i want to be independent and buy my own car and move out of my house. i know that's not gonna be easy...but it couldnt be any harder than this. and who has everything they want when they first start out on their own? no "normal" person does. none that i know of anyways. ahh this is all just a big mess. hopefully things start to get better...b/c i seriously dont know how much i can take. im so glad tomorrow is friday...i think im gonna spend the night with buddy..at least i wont have to listen to my mom. i can get away for a while and get my mind off things. so that should be good. plus the festival is this weekend and lori's gonna be here. so it should be a good weekend. as long as i can avoid being here. anything would be better than that.
current mood:  stressed
current music: Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Saturday, September 25th, 2004
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2:30 pm
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What songs are for...
...the opening scene?: "Let Me Blow Ya Mind" by Eve & Gwen
...the random partying scene?: "Without Me" by Eminem
...the shopping scene?: "Sweetness" by Jimmy Eat World
...the scene where you meet the hot guy/girl?: "Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera
...the rainy day scene?: "Turn The Page" by Metallica
...the melancholy driving scene?: "Broken" by Seether
...the happy driving scene?: "Don't Happen Twice" by Kenny Chesney
...the scene where the guy/girl asks you out?: "Hanging By a Moment" by Lifehosue
...the scene where someone close to you dies?: "Last Kiss" by Pearl Jam
...the prom scene?: "Everytime I Close My Eyes" by Babyface
...the graduation scene?: "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks
...the hookup scene?: "Dilemma" by Nelly & Kelly Rowland
...the breakup scene?: "Running Away" by Hoobastank
...the rebound scene?: "Gonna Be Alright" by J.Lo
...the makeup scene?: "All My Life" by KC & JOJO
...the wedding scene?: "Angel Eyes" by Jeff Healey Band
...the closing credits?: "In the End" by Linkin Park
current mood:  nostalgic
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004
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8:52 pm - fUcK wHaT i SaiD...iT DoNt MeAn ShiT nOw..............
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i dont know exactly how i feel right now...im angry...hurt...sad....i dont know what you would call it. im so tired of this one person being the way he is. i cant stand the fact that he continues to bug the shit outta me...eventhough we both know its over. he just wont leave me alone...and to make it all worse he decides to rub it in my face that he has someone else. well throw you a damn cookie. its pretty bad when you're 22 years old yet you chose to act like you're 15. i just dont understand guys. he sits there and tells me the biggest bullshit ive ever heard. " i want to marry you ashley" what the fuck? the next time you want to use the word "marriage" learn what it fuckin means. cuz obviously you dont know. you dont tell somebody that and then run off and tell somebody else you love them the next fuckin day. oh well...in the end you'll be the miserable one. live ur life being unhappy with ur pride and inability to understand that people have feelings...and just b/c you dont doesnt mean that u dont hurt people. so go ahead and make up ur little lies and excuses to try and justify the fact that you just dont have a heart. how could u be that way to someone who was there by your side when u were hurt? i took care of your fuckin ass the whole time....who else was there? no one that i can think of. yet you want to treat me like i was never anything to you. i dont deserve that shit...i dont think anybody does...especially somebody that almost gave up everything for you. what a waste of my time. what a waste of everything. it doesnt matter now...b/c i know you'll think of me...and you'll think about what you gave up. hope that makes you happy to know that. so fuck it all...fuck you and everything you said. because you didnt mean a word of it.
current mood:  enraged
current music: Crossfade - Cold
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Tuesday, September 21st, 2004
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2:41 am - -WhY iS EvErYtHiNg So CoNfUsiNg...MaYbE i'M JuSt oUtTa My MiNd-
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well my internet isnt working...as usual...i wish they would hurry up and fix our phone. but anyways i can still type in my blurty...i'll just have to post this in the morning when i wake up. ive been sittin here for the last hour in tears...and i dont exactly know why. maybe its just my hormones runnin wild since it is that wonderful part of bein a girl. so i dont know. but ive just been sittin here feeling angry and hurt at some people in my life. my parents mostly. i dont understand why they want to be so mean to me. they took my car in april...and promised me another one 2 months later. well here it is almost october and i still dont have one. i hate taking my moms car when i want to go somewhere. i know that sounds whiney but i had no idea how much i took stuff like that for granted when i had it. i miss stupid things like drivin down the road and playin my cd's in my own car...or takin my car to the car wash and cleanin it up. my car was like my baby...and it sucks to not have it anymore. and buddy if ur readin this i know ur thinkin well why dont u go get a job and get ur own car....so u dont even have to say it. im just sayin that this is really unfair. they shouldnt have promised me somethin if they're not gonna do it. did i really do somethin that bad to be treated like that? i dont think i did. i guess thats just another one of my moms lil games she likes to play with me. but i shouldnt be surprised...this is a likely thing for her to do. i think the biggest reason she is doin this is to have somethin to hold over my head. she knows as long as i dont have a car its gonna be harder for me to go get a job...and move out of her house. she treats me like im her doll and she just does whatever she wants with me and doesnt even think about my feelings...not even for a second. and i just sit here and wonder why this has to happen to me? i wish i could say somethin to my dad in hopes that he would listen to me...but he's another puppet on her strings. he listens to every fuckin thing she says. so i dont have any luck there. i feel bad for complainin about stuff like this cuz i know there are people that have it worse than i do...and i probably sound really selfish right now. but im not a bad person...and i just dont know why this is happening to me. for once i wish they would actually listen to me and make some kind of attempt to do what they promised me 6 months ago. and what makes it even worse is them expecting me to be nice and do stuff for them. im so tired of kissin their ass 24/7 when in the end i dont get anything for it. i dont ever ask them for anything. ive even stopped complaining about a car...b/c its not gonna happen anytime soon...and my mom has made that perfectly clear. so whats the point of wasting my breath over it. im just startin to feel like they dont even really want me here anymore. they haven't actually came out and said it...but i can tell by the way they act and the things they do. its mostly my mom...my dad isnt even here enough to have any part in it...but anyways. i just feel like im in the way or somethin. my mom acts like she gets mad when she has to do somethin for me...like if there's somethin i need to do or get...she complains about it. im tired of feeling unwanted here. it really hurts. my mom is the most greedy person i know. she goes out and does whatever she wants whenever she wants and buys whatever she wants and nothing is ever said. but when i ask to do something or get somethin its this huge fight. oh well...im sure im startin to sound like a spoiled brat to who ever is reading this...but i dont think its like that at all. i put up with so much shit ...its crazy. i guess thats enough bitching for now. it was even pointless now that i think about it. it's not gonna change anything. but at least ive stopped crying for the moment. im such a pansy...i need to quit that. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i hate this!
current mood:  bitchy
current music: Hoobastank - The Reason
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, September 20th, 2004
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9:30 pm - ...SuRvEy...
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Name Four Bad Habits You Have:
- sleeping late
- i procrastinate a lot
- bein lazy
- rolling my eyes lol
Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
- MY OWN CAR!!!
- My own house
- Lots of money
- Another dog lol
Name Four Scents You Love:
- Amber Romance
- Very Sexy for her
- Clinique Happy
- Roses
Name Four People That Know You the Best:
- Lori
- Buddy
- Josh
- My Mom
Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now:
- Buddy
- Gettin a Job
- some gossip i just heard
- me and lori goin to the fall festival
Name Four Things That You Have Done Today:
- Went to Walmart
- Took a movie back to blockbuster
- Talked on the phone
- Watched TV
Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought:
- A belt
- Very Sexy perfume
- Lip Gloss
- Mascara
Name Four Bands/Groups Most People Don't Know You Like:
- Aerosmith
- Lynard Skynard
- Alabama
- Metallica
Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:
- Water
- Sprite
- Cherry Coke
- Pepsi
X[random]X
First Grade Teacher's Name? Mrs. Turner
Last Words You Said? i asked lori if she had seen the hardees commercial with the girl riding the mechanical bull lol
Last Song You Sang? dont mess with my man by nivea lol
Last Person You Hugged? Buddy
Last Thing You Laughed At? Daisy tryin to chew a piece of gum
Last Time You Said 'I Love You' And Meant It? earlier today
Last Time You Cried? Last week
What's In Your CD Player? a cd i burned
What Color Socks Are You Wearing? white
What's Under Your Bed? a flashlight
What Time Did You Wake Up Today? 11
X[current]X
Current Taste? coffee
Current Hair? up in a pony tail
Current Clothes? red pj pants and a t-shirt
Current Annoyance? my stomach hurts :(
Current Longing? i want some chocolate ice cream
Current Desktop Picture? some purple shit
Current Worry? im not worried about anything at the moment
Current Hate? stupid ass ppl that get anything they want
X[more random]X
Favorite Physical Feature Of The Opposite Sex? Their eyes and smile
Last CD You Bought? Gretchen Wilson
Favorite Place To Be? Gatlinburg or the lake
Least Favorite Place? here at my house
Time You Wake Up In The Morning? well i wouldnt call it morning...its sometime around 11
If You Could Play An Instrument? guitar
Favorite Color? purple
Do You Believe In An Afterlife? sorta
How Tall Are You? 5'3"
Current Favorite Word/Saying? love ya bitch
Favorite Season? summer
One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To: my mamaw
Favorite Day? friday or saturday
Where Would You Like To Go? the bahamas
What Is Your Career Going To Be Like? hopefully i'll be a nurse
How Many Kids Do You Want? 2
Favorite Car? WS6 trans am
A Random Lyric: "i wanna know how forever feels"
Identify Some Of The Things Surrounding Your Computer: phone..a picture of daisy..a bottle of water
current mood:  ditzy
current music: Kenny Chesney - How Forever Feels
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, September 16th, 2004
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10:44 pm
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ok so i have a question. last year i was supposed to get married as most of u know...and i didnt of course. but i bought this gorgeous wedding dress...that i really dont want to get rid of. so i wanna know if ya'll think its ok for me to keep this one and save it for when i actually do get married...or should i try to get rid of it...then get another one later on. i'd rather not get rid of this one cuz it is really pretty and it was almost $700. i dont think its that big of a deal to just wear it when i do get married...but some ppl might think thats a bad thing to do since it was for someone else and that didnt work out...i dunno...i just wanted to know what ya'll think....
current mood:  contemplative
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9:53 pm - ...tAkE a RiSk...tAkE a ChAnCe...MaKe A cHaNgE...aNd BrEaK aWaY...
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ok so ive had this thing for a lil over a year now and ive posted many entries that are all friends only...but now ive decided to post public. my life really isnt all that interesting so what the hell...i'll share what im thinkin with everybody. plus i figured it was about time for an update since miss lori ann got mean with us for not writin. haha she skurrs me. so anyways...enough ramblin. my life has once again takin a turn around...which seems to be the trend here lately. things were just so confusing for me for a while. so i decided to let the problem go and continue my life as it was before i got myself into such a mess. i got this email earlier in the week and i really liked this quote. "a woman should have an old love she can imagine going back to...and one who reminds her how far she's come." to me this quote says you should have somebody you think of goin back to...but thats as far as it goes b/c you have somebody now that makes you realize just how far you've come...whether it be you as a person...your maturity level...or things you just dont want to go back to. i realized that there were things im just so over from the past. things that were old before they even started. i was blinded for a while...and didnt really see the hurt i was causing another person. and i didnt really see what i was doing to myself. i was letting myself be brought into somethin that i didnt really want...somethin that wasnt what i was made to believe it was. but we all make mistakes right...and i guess this was just one of those times. im kinda sorry things had to end up like this...but i see now..more than ever that it just wasnt meant to be. the fire had gone out...actually i think it went out a long time ago i just didnt want to see it. but it all came down to what is most important. there is somebody else that i care about. the only person that i can honestly say really wants a future with me. the person that makes me smile all the time...the person that i can sit and talk to for hours about nothin in particular...the person that really listens to me...the person that has stood by me through everything...and has always let me know that everything is gonna be alright. the person who stood in my room last night and slow danced with me while i was havin a drunken moment...and didnt complain..not even once. the person that lets me be ashley...and doesnt try to change who i am. the person that kisses me and everything else just goes away. all my problems go away...and everything around us just becomes a huge blur. we could be in a room with a million ppl and it would seem like we were the only ones there. gosh my mind just drifted off there for a second...i got caught up in a moment. but i guess in the end it all came down to how i feel...and i just went with my heart..and so thats that lol...ahh...but anyways i guess this is enough for now. so lori there ya go...i informed you of the latest. not really much gossip to talk about but oh well. im sure i'll have somethin else later. love yuns.
current mood: amused
current music: Kelly Clarkson - Break Away
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Friday, June 18th, 2004
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12:54 am - gOnNa HaVe A LiL fUn...GoNnA gEt Me SoMe
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good golly...its been nearly a month since i updated last..and lots of stuff has happened. mostly non important stuff that i dont remember..but there's a few events that stick out in my mind. lets see first of all me and bud are still together...and very very happy. :) i started college :| scurry hearin that from me lol. but umm yeah im goin to southeast this summer. im gonna attempt to be a nurse hehe. thats scurry too. but its fun...i like it so far. lori came in last weekend and we went out. buddy took us to the sundowner lol. it was very interesting. :| we got to watch the bootylicious contest. it was funny. we couldnt drink though so that sucked. this weekend she's comin back in and i think we're gonna get drunk and then go. it will prolly be more fun that way. we'll prolly try and enter the contest. haha. who knows. we'll find somethin to get into. lets see...i finally got a bigger bed. yay for me. ive spent most of the day fittin it in my room. this past week was pretty rough on my family. my papaw died on monday morning. :( i miss him a lot. the funeral was so sad. my dad was taking it pretty hard. i could hardly stand to see him so upset. im so glad that buddy was there with me cuz i prolly couldnt have made it by myself. its really great to finally have someone like him in my life. it seemed like i searched forever to find him. i had no idea someone could make u feel this way and im really lucky to have what i have with him. we layed in bed pretty much the rest of the day after the funeral...then he spent the night with me. it was just so comfortable to lay there with him. he seriously takes my breath away...just by givin me sweet lil kisses. i cant help but smile just by lookin at him. our relationship is perfect right now...and i really cant see anything bad happening to us. :) well that was my mushy part for today. i felt like talkin about my baby. i love him so soooooooo much. yesterday was our 2 month anniversary. i gotta give him a lil present tomorrow. i think its sweet...and i hope he likes it. ta ta for now.
current mood:  crazy
current music: gReTcHeN WiLsOn - HeRe FoR tHe PaRtY
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Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
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2:21 pm - yOu aNd Me gOiN fiShiN iN tHe dArK...LyiN oN oUr bAcKs N cOuNtiN tHe StArs
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gosh so much has happened since my last update i dont even know where to start. lets see me and buddy have spent pretty much everyday and night together in the past week so its hard to remember everything we've done. thursday i went with mom to lexington. she had to see a doctor at uk and then afterwards we went shoppin. i finally got my louis vuitton purse. woo hoo. mom was kinda mad cuz i spent so much money on a purse and then i spent like a $100 in victorias secret. but i think it was worth it. friday was lots of fun. buddy came and picked me up and we went to his moms boyfriends house to eat dinner. me and buddy left there on the fourwheeler at about 11:30. we rode over to his house for a while and took a nap til about 1 cuz we knew we was gonna be out the rest of the night. so after our nap we left and headed through the mountains. well it was really scary cuz it was late and we were the only ones up there. we were on this trail and it was about 3AM...and in front of us we start to see somethin white and its moving toward us. we both started freakin out cuz we didnt know what it was. well it is this man walkin by himself through the woods in the middle of the night. buddy stops and talks to him like an idiot...and im sittin there like omg he's gonna kill us. but he's really really drunk and he's been walkin like 8 miles from flat lick and he wants us to give him a ride back to the road so buddy does. i thought that was a stupid idea myself...but buddy felt sorry for him cuz he was walkin in complete darkness and fallin down in mud holes. so we gave him a ride back to the road and then headed back up the mountain. we got lost and almost never found our way back out. we finally did and ended up in downtown barbourville. thats a long ass ride. it was really freaky lookin on those roads though. he tried to take me back to artemus bridge and i was like hell no! we got back to his house around 6 that mornin and went to sleep. saturday we mostly just layed around my house and watched movies. he left on sunday and i was gonna go back with him but amy came down and wanted me and her to do somethin so we went up to chain rock and took some pictures. then we went to walmart and bought a ton of ice cream, chips, and bunch of other junk food. then we went to blockbuster and got some scary movies and came back to my house. it was fun to have a lil sleep over. monday i went with mom to london. she had to take the other set of keys to my car to those ppl that sold it. ive already got my eye on another one. i'm not really sure if i'll get it but mom is supposed to call em back today. its a white mustang gt. its really really nice. i hope i get it cuz im startin to miss my car a lot. on the way back i called buddy and he wanted to me to go golfin with him so i did. we went to corbin to whatever that golf course is called. i thought it was gonna be boring...cuz i mean how many girls like golf. but i got to drive the golf cart so it was fun. he was like i know u must really love me to sit through 36 holes of golf and not complain about it. hehe...i really do love him...a whole lot. we had this talk last night and he was tellin me how he's never felt this way about anybody before...and i agreed with him. because honestly i have NEVER felt like this in my entire life. i thought i was really in love before....but it wasnt anything like this. we've only known each other for almost 2 months...but its the most amazing thing ive ever felt in my life. i said once before if i was asked to describe my ideal guy it would have to be him exactly. to me he is perfect and i honestly dont think i'll ever want anybody else. i had no idea somebody could make u feel this way. im so glad that i met him and i really dont know what i would do without him. ahh...anyways i got way off track there for a minute lol. back to what i was sayin. after we left the golf course buddy came home with me and spent the night again. yesterday we decided we wanted to go fishin. so we went to his moms boyfriends...he has ponds around his house... it was fun. i caught 2 cat fish. we fished until it was so dark we couldnt see anymore. then we left and went to taco bell. that is a long drive from his house. thats when we had our big talk i was just talkin about. it was great. he gets so cute when he talks serious like that. i just love him so much. who knows whats gonna happen today. somethin interestin im sure. i just figured i'd update on what ive been doin. monday was our one month anniversary. :) aww. oh yeah...congrats to brittney on her baby boy. he is beautiful! ta ta for now.
current mood: chipper
current music: niTty GriTty DiRt bAnD - fiShiN iN tHe DaRk
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Monday, May 3rd, 2004
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1:32 am - yOu aSkEd Me iF i LoVe yOu...iF i aLwAyS wiLL...WeLL u HaD mE fRoM HeLLo
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well this weekend was another fun one. me and buddy spent almost all of it together...so of course it was fun. saturday night we went out for a while...then we came back to my house cuz buddy was gonna spend the night with me. we got in the hot tub like we always do. our hot tub has been used more in the past month than it ever has. we get in there like everytime he comes up here. but im not gonna complain cuz its always fun. ;) i think we spent most of the night piggin out on junk food. my cell phone started ringin at like 5AM and i told buddy to answer it and it was josh. he was drunk and was tryin to start somethin. it was all pretty stupid if u ask me. he just needs to get over it and accept the fact that i've found someone a lot better than him. gah stupid ppl make me mad. grrrrrr. anyways....we didnt go to sleep until like 7 or 8 this mornin. we just layed in my bed all snuggled up talkin about all kinds of stuff. he makes me so happy. i catch myself just lookin at him when he's sleepin...or even when we're just drivin down the road for no reason at all other than the fact that i cant believe he's mine. he makes me feel all warm n fuzzy. ok...i think this is startin to sound more like rambling so i guess i'll go. just wanted to talk about my weekend. love yuns.
ASH~N~BUDDY
current mood:  hungry
current music: KeNnY cHeSnEy - YoU hAd Me FrOm HeLLo
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Wednesday, April 21st, 2004
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8:50 am - i MisS mY bUdDy
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well i figured i would update this thing so that someday i can read it and remember what ive been doin or somethin i dont really know. im a lil bit delirious at the moment b/c ive not been asleep any at all and it's like 8:30 in the mornin. me and amy went to derricks last night and stayed until like 2. then amy came back here and stayed with me but we didnt go to sleep. we just stayed up talkin. we had fun though. i missed buddy and she wanted to see derrick so we just decided to go up there. the night before buddy took me to get some beer...and i was supposed to spend the night there but i ended up comin home at like 4 cuz mom was gettin pissy. so i left my beer at derricks and tonight they were sittin around drinkin it. i was just like well ok but ya'll owe me big time. hmm ive been with buddy like every single day for the past 3 weeks. amy keeps askin me if im gettin tired of spendin time with him...but im not...not at all. lets see...i haven't really written about anything we've done so....hmmm...on my birthday he went with me and amy to knoxville and thats when i really started to like him. he was a blast to be around and we had so much fun. then we all went bowlin that night... he kept makin fun of me and amy cuz we werent really that good at it. our first real date together is somethin i'll never forget. first we went to the movies in corbin and then we drove out to cumberland falls cuz it was a full moon and ur supposed to be able to see that moon bow thing...but it was too cloudy and we couldnt see it. but just bein there was really sweet. we were like the only people there and it was really really dark. i had on flip flops and it was hard to walk around on those rocks so he was bein really sweet and holdin my hand and tryin not to let me fall. then he decides to just carry me on his back cuz i couldnt walk through there in the dark. then after we left there we went to the park and talked for a really long time. that was a really great night. after that night i knew that i wanted to get to know him better cuz he's really a great guy. i told amy today that if anybody had asked me before i met him to describe my ideal guy i would describe him exactly. i like him a whole lot...and its kinda scary b/c we haven't really known each other that long. but when u meet somebody like that u just know that somethin about it is right. b/c i told myself i wasnt gonna date anybody. but this just happened. i wasnt out lookin for it. i just kinda stumbled across it. im really glad i did though. im tryin to be careful and not fall to hard for him...but its not easy to do. i see him pretty much everyday and it just keeps gettin better and better. we've almost known each other a month but it seems like a lot longer. today he sent me this email and i thought this part of it was so sweet so im gonna post it on here.....
Ashley your so sweet and nice that you've really got me falling hard for ya. I just didn't think that i would meet someone like you for a while. Im glad i did. Don't be scared by what i'm about to say, i know that its a little soon but i think that i'm falling in love with ya. If thats scares you than i guess that it just does. I haven't felt like this in a long time toward anyone.
hehe...thats just so sweet. today me and amy are gonna go back down there and take em somethin to eat. its really great to have a boyfriend that actually appreciates the stuff you do for him...and takes to the time to let you know that even the little things you do matter. even if its just a hug or a kiss...you know that they care. oh well i guess ive said enough for now. im gonna try to sleep for a few hours then go see my buddy. :)
current mood:  tired
current music: oUtKaSt - RoSeS
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Monday, April 19th, 2004
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3:16 pm - mOrE piCs
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Thursday, March 11th, 2004
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3:55 am - hAh i HaD tO Do ThiS OnE tOo
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-THE BASICS-
what is you're full name-> Ashley Danielle Saylor
what color underwear are you wearing-> Black uns
what are you listening to right now-> Hilary Duff - Come Clean
if you were a crayon what color would you be-> purple
what did you do for you're last birthday-> josh took me to get my tattoo
lifetime goal-> happiness
first thing you think of when you wake up-> i need more sleep
what is you birthday-> April 5th
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HAVE YOU EVER:
1. RAN AWAY: sorta
2. HAD SEX WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND: no
3. PICTURED YOUR CRUSH NAKED: who wouldnt? lol
4. ACTUALLY SEEN YOUR CRUSH NAKED: who hasnt?
5. BROKEN SOMEONE'S HEART: maybe just a lil bit
6. BEEN IN LOVE: yeah
7. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: yeah
8. WANTED SOMEONE YOU KNEW YOU COULDN'T HAVE: hmm...nope
9. BROKEN A BONE: yeah when i was lil
10. DRANK ALCOHOL: yeah
11. LIED: yeah
12. EXPERIMENTED WITH DRUGS: not really
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WHICH DO YOU PREFER
13. HOT OR COLD: hot
14. SUB OR DOM: submissive
15. GIRLS OR BOYS: either
16. FLOWERS OR CANDY: flowers
17. SCRUFF OR CLEAN SHAVEN: clean shaven
19. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES: brunettes
20. BITCHY OR SLUTTY: neither
21. TALL OR SHORT: tall
22. PANTS OR SHORTS: shorts
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WITH THE SEX YOU ARE MOST ATTRACTED TO:
23. WHAT DO YOU NOTICE FIRST: eyes
24. LAST PERSON YOU SLOW DANCED WITH: hmm thats been a while
25. WORST THING THEY COULD DO: piss me off
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THE LAST TIME:
26. SHOWERED: a few hours ago
27. HAD SEX: hmm...saturday night
28. HAD A GREAT TIME with FRIENDS: last night
29. YOUR GOOD LUCK CHARM: i don't really have one
30. PERSON YOU HATE MOST: ehh
31. THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU TODAY:hah my day was horrible umm lets see i guess gettin to see my girls and talkin to josh for like 4 hours on the phone lol i dont know
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FAVORITES:
32. COLOR: purple and black
33. MOVIE: texas chainsaw massacre
34. BOOK: i have no clue....
35. SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: i aint in school no more
36. JUICE: orange
37. CARS: trans ams & tahoes
38. ICE CREAM: butter pecan
39. HOLIDAY: 4th of july
40. SEASON: summer
41. BREAKFAST FOOD: pancakes
42. PLACE TO GO WITH YOUR HONEY: anywhere is fun
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WHO:
43. MAKES YOU LAUGH THE MOST: probably Lori
44.MAKES YOU SMILE: josh, daisy, and the girls
45. GIVES YOU A BAD FEELING WHEN YOU SEE THEM:eh
46. HAS A CRUSH ON YOU: josh
47. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON: josh
48. CAN MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER NO MATTER WHAT: josh
49. HAS IT EASIER GUYS OR GIRLS: guys....NO PMS
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BEST:
50. ROMANTIC MEMORY: hmm that requires too much thought
51. SCENT: josh ;)
52. TYPE OF KISS: good uns
53. PLACE TO KISS: hmm
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HAVE YOU EVER:
54. Fallen for your best girl friend? : lol no
55. Made out w/ JUST a friend?: yeah
56. Been rejected?: no
57. Been in love?: yeah
58. Been in lust?: yeah
59. Used someone?: yeah
60. Been played?: lol prolly
61. Been cheated on?: hmm i think so
62. Been kissed?:yeah
63. Done something you regret?: yeah
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WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON:
64. You touched?: daisy
65: You talked to: josh
66. You hugged?: umm i think lori
67. You instant messaged: julie
68. You kissed?: josh
69. You had sex with?: josh
70. You yelled at? mom
71. You laughed with?: josh
72. Who broke your heart?:
73. Who told you they loved you?: josh
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DO YOU:
74. Color your hair?: i highlight it sometimes
75. Have tattoos?: yep
76. Have piercings: yep
77. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both?: yeah, boyfriend
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current mood: tired
current music: KiD RoCk - CoLd & EmPtY
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Wednesday, March 10th, 2004
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8:27 pm - My ShiTtY dAy
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well its been another one of those messed up days where pretty much everything goes wrong. my mom and i are goin at it again. i should have known her bein nice shit wasnt gonna last long. this time though it went a lil too far. i asked a simple question to go spend time with lori and julie...at julie's house which is like 10 minutes from my house...and of course my mom has to have her opinion about it and tell me i cant go...for what reason i dont know. just simply b/c she loves to tell me no when she knows its somethin i really wanna do. she puts her blazer behind my car and tells me i cant leave...but i left anyways after driving my car through the yard. i didnt think it was that big of a deal to drive 10 minutes to go see my friends. but what does she go do now...she calls the fuckin police! what the hell? we're all sittin outside at julie's and this cop pulls up and tells me that i need to return the car to my house b/c my mom has reported it stolen...and if i dont im gonna go to jail. OMG u just dont even know how bad i wanted to take that car and drive into a fuckin tree. i called josh while i was there and he begged me to let him come get me and go stay with him but i dont wanna do that. my mom has just really done it this time...i mean that is just a lil crazy...and i think most ppl would agree. josh is gonna start lookin for us a place here pretty soon...which makes me feel better cuz i know i wont have to put up with this much longer. im so glad i have him right now cuz i dont know what i would do. it means a lot to me that he would let me stay with him right now but he still lives with his family and i dont wanna do that. i'm gonna start lookin for a job until i can start school...and hopefully i can get out of here quicker. im just so done with her...i cant even stand to sit here in my room. i dont even feel like im wanted here. i called my dad and he was pretty mad b/c he didnt know she had called the police. but of course i informed him of all that had went on..so im sure he'll be tellin her off for tryin to put me in jail. my mom needs serious help. she has no idea how to act like a normal person. we need to go on dr. phil or somethin...i think i need to send him a letter. oh well...i just felt like gettin that out cuz im still pretty pissed. i'm gonna go wait for josh to call me back...hearing his voice always makes me feel better. buh bye.
Ashley Loves Josh
Always
current mood:  pissed off
current music: sArAh CoNnEr - BoUnCe
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Sunday, March 7th, 2004
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11:25 pm - mY WiLd WeEkEnD....Ya'LL MiGhT nOT wAnNa ReAd tHiS :P
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well i figure its about time for an update. this weekend was a lot of fun. friday night me and amy went to barbourville and cruised around like all night lol. it was great until it started POURING the rain. i had to do like 35 all the way home cuz i couldnt see nothin. but it was fun just to get out and have a "girls night." she's been havin trouble with her man so i figured i'd help take her mind off it. saturday was prolly the craziest night of all. i went out with mom and we went shoppin most of the day. then i met josh in m'boro and we went to eat then he took me to get some beer. woo i love the jack daniels hurricane punch. :D anyways...we drove around town for a while. i saw my mom in big lots so we stopped by there and went in to talk to her. we ended up goin somewhere to sit while i could drink my beer. josh is a nut i swear lol. i wasnt even drunk but we were actin as crazy as ever. josh decides he's gonna umm rid himself of his clothing and drive around that way the rest of the night...so he thinks i need to do it too. it was so funny. he had my thongs hangin from his rear view mirror lol...gah im laughin just thinkin about it. but umm on the way back home we tried somethin a lil new...neither one of us had tried it before but it was very interesting. kinda complicated but lots of fun. well we were supposed to come back to my house but we ended up goin to barbourville and drivin around for a while. we were in my car this time and yes we had clothes on lol. there wasnt really nothin to do down there so we came back home. gosh i dont even know what time i got home but it was really late. anyways...that was my wonderful weekend. oh yes i almost forgot...lori is comin in this week to stay a few days. i think she's gonna stay a few days with me and a few with julie. wooo that will be fun. josh is wantin to come spend the night with me some nights this week too. gah i'll prolly have even more crazy stories to tell. lol oh well...later girls
Ashley Loves Josh
current mood: mischievous
current music: hOoBaStAnK - tHe ReAsOn
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Monday, March 1st, 2004
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1:07 pm - i'LL rUn AwAy WiTh YoU...bY mY SiDe
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well overall i had a pretty good weekend. saturday and sunday we went riding on the crotch rocket. it was turnin out to be the best weekend in a long time until somethin happened and it was all screwed up. but i'd rather not talk about it. anyways...im in a bad mood today so i think im gonna go back to bed. i dont even know why i started writing in this. later girls.
ash <3 josh
current mood:  angry
current music: tRaPt - EcHo
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Sunday, February 29th, 2004
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10:52 am - --_SuRvEy_--
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Name: Ashley
Birthday: April 5
Birthplace: Pineville, Ky
Now .
Current mood: sleepy
Current music: Switchfoot - Meant to Live
Current taste: my breakfast
Current hair: up/messy
Current clothes: west coast choppers t-shirt and blue UK shorts
Current annoyance: daisy tryin to eat my food
Current thing I ought to be doin: sleepin at josh's
Current windows open: my blurty, convo with josh, kazaa
Current desktop picture: marilyn monroe
Current favorite band: too many
Current book: umm im not readin any right now
Current cd in stereo: a burnt one
Current crush: josh :)
Current favorite celeb:
Current hate: nothin
Do I.
Smoke?: No
Do drugs?: No
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: mmhmm
Remember your first love?: yep
Read the newspaper?: every now and then
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: yea
Believe in miracles?: yup
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: yep
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: some ppl
Consider love a mistake?: no
Have a favorite candy?: mmmm M&M's
Believe in astrology?: yeah i guess
Believe in magic?: no
Believe in god?: yes
Have any pets: 2 dogs
Go to or plan to go to college: yep
Have any piercings?: ears & belly button
Have any tattoos?: mmhmm just 1
Hate yourself: no
Have an obsession?: motorcycles
Have a secret crush?: no its not a secret
Have a best friend?: yes, josh
Wish on stars?: every now and then
Care about looks?: sorta
Love life.
First crush: brett in kindergarten
First kiss: :|
Single or attached?: attached
Ever been in love?: yep
Do you believe in love at first sight?: sorta
Do you believe in "the one?": yeah
Describe your ideal significant other: JOSH
Juicy stuff.
Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing?: yes
Favorite place to be kissed?: my lil secret ;)
Have you ever been caught "doing something?": haha yep
Are you a tease?: sometimes
Shy to make the first move?: no
APPEARANCE:
Hair: blonde
Eyes: hazel
Height: 5'3
:LAST THING YOU:
Bought: gas for my car
Ate & Drank: a donut and water
Read: my IM from josh
Watched on tv: Freddy vs. Jason
EITHER / OR:
club or houseparty: houseparty
beer or cider: beer
drinks or shots: shots
cats or dogs: dogs
single or taken: taken
pen or pencil: pen
gloves or mittens: gloves
food or candy: food
cassette or cd: cd
coke or pepsi: pepsi
this or that: this
:WHO DO YOU WANT TO:
kill: no one
look like: nobody else
be like: me
avoid: hah :|
:LAST PERSON YOU:
talked to: josh
hugged: josh
instant messaged: josh
kissed: josh
:WHERE DO YOU:
eat: the lil bar thingie in our kitchen or in my room
cry: anywhere i feel the urge to
wish you were: with josh
:HAVE YOU EVER:
Dated one of your best friends? yeah
Loved somebody so much it makes you cry? yes
Done drugs? no
Broken the law? hmm does speeding count
Run away from home? sorta
Broken a bone? no
Played Truth Or Dare? yes
Kissed someone you didn't know? *thinks*...i dont think so
Been in a fight? not in like a physical one
Come close to dying? ummm......
:WHAT IS:
The most embarrassing CD in your collection?: i dunno prolly NSYNC or somethin like that
Your bedroom like?: everything is really dark...dark purple walls and black furniture...woo i love it
Your favorite thing for breakfast? pancakes
Your favorite resturant? Arby's, J. Miltons, China Express
:RANDOM QUESTIONS:
What's on your bedside table?: my alarm clock, a lamp, and candles
What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?: usually junk food
What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?: A Walk To Remember & Armageddon
If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?: prolly implants
What is your biggest fear?: that i will not get what i want out of life
Do you ever have to beg?: yeah sometimes to my mom if i wanna do somethin
Are you a pyromaniac?: what?
Do you have too many love interests?: no
Do you have too many crushes? no
Do you know anyone famous?: umm no
Describe your bed: its black with like this purple and black sheer fabric drapped around it...very cool lol
Spontaneous or plain?: spontaneous definetely
Do you know how to play poker?: yep...hold em is my fav
What do you carry with you at all times?: my cell phone
How do you drive?: faster than most ppl
What do you miss most about being little?: not having to worry about anything
Are you happy with your given name?: yeah i guess so...a lot of ppl are named ashley though...i like to be different but oh well
How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?: hah i dont think thats possible
What color is your bedroom?: i think i already answered this
What was the last song you were listening to?: Meant to Live by Switchfoot...that is the best song ever
Have you ever been in a play?: yeah in drama class
Who are your best friends?: Josh
Do you talk a lot?: yeah i dont ever hush
Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?: mmhmm
Do you think you're cute?: i try to be lol
Do poor, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?: only those that aren't really poor and try to just get u to give them money
Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?: yeah
Do you spend more time with your girlfriend, boyfriend, or your friends?: boyfriend
What is the first thing you think when you see two gay guys or lesbians holding hands? nothing
current mood:  sleepy
current music: SwiTchFoOt - MeAnT tO LiVe
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