Fireworks in my heart   
10:27pm 24/10/2003
 
mood: hopeful
music: Ben Folds-Leather Jacket
Tonight i had to work but i got off a little early. I had some nice visitors while i was there. Ryan came to see me for a long while and i really enjoyed talking to him.. he is such a cool guy. i want to become better friends with him. i am going to stop by his house tomorrow to get his 'lyndsay diaries' cd tomorrow. his band is playing with them next tuesday.. that is SO cool! Also ender andrew and bobby came to see me. And later jill brought danny. that was not a good idea. Danny does not even want to be my friend anymore. I think that is really stupid. But.. whatever he wants i guess.. Hm.. he will probably end up liking jill. oh well.
i cant wait till sunday.. i cannot wait to hang out with alex. wooo

I am still hoping for new orleans... it would be so amazing to get away from all of this stuff i am going through. i get really worried about myself sometimes. I am not trying to exxagerate, or be a cool emo kid.. but for some reason my emotions have been just going crazy lately. One minute i am wanting to just lay down and not wake up.. and the next i just want to go wild and i am happy.. i dont know what the deal is.. i just want to be a overall happy person and not have to worry about dramatic chaos will happen with every coming day of my life. why cant things be simple?

tomorrow i am going running with markam and we are going to wendy's after to talk over some frosties. i am also going to hang out with justin tomorrow night. i miss that boy a lot.. we have been through a lot and im glad we are back to talking again. he is a really cool guy.

Tonight when i got home from work i walked outside and my breath was taken away.. the weather was so crisp and cold.. it felt so wonderful.. i looked up at the sky.. and i saw stars. lots and lots of stars. that doesnt happen at my house. i never see them.. but tonight they are so vibrant.. i just laid down on my driveway and looked at them for a long time .. and was thinking. and then i heard cracking and i sat up and to the left there were fireworks going off.. they were so pretty and they made me get butterflies. i wanted to cuddle in the cold with Him
 
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i have no good subject for today. sorry.   
12:36pm 24/10/2003
 
mood: discontent
music: none. I am at friggin school
So.. i am going to really start writing in this journal more often. i promise. I am obviously at schoool right now.. i am in econ.. supposed to be creating a business.. but i am done with that for today.
I feel really bad for jill. she likes richard so much.. and he has really led her on. She has had such high hopes for so long that they would finally go out.. and yesterday he told her that he still likes his ex girlfriend so doesnt want to commit to her. i have never seen her so broken and it makes me feel even worse than i did before. that girl is my life and i would give anything to make her happy. all i want to do is take her away from him and make her happy. i love her.

so hopefully me and alex can hang out sunday since he is going to steve-o's cabin all weekend. i changed my work shifts so we could.. so it better happen! tonight i have to work :( and tomorrow i might go running with markam during the day. i hope its really pretty outside..
tomorrow night i am going to take jill out for a girls night out. i am going to introduce her to leesie, jessie and brittney. she will really like them and i want her to have lots of fun.

By the way.. since i am currently on probabation for 6 months i decided that i am going to be a super hardcore straight edge kid. I am going to buy a belt that has xXx on the buckle and i am going to just be soo cool and clean man.. WOO! its gonna be funny

woooooooooooooooooooooooo i really like someone :)
 
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12 shots of bacardi   
10:53am 08/09/2003
  wow. what a weekend. definetly one to remember. stephens house was the place it alll happened. i definetly drank way way too much. it was insane and i was very lucky to have danny there to take care of me. i wound up making out with max on the hammock and not even realizing what i was doing. i dont remember half the night but i went home extremely wasted and my mother called the cops. a police man came and i have to go to court in october for underage drinking. its rough stuff. oh well. i am at school right now and i have to go to class now.  
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12 shots of bacardi   
10:50am 08/09/2003
  wow. what a weekend. definetly one to remember. stephens house was the place it alll happened. i definetly drank way way too much. it was insane and i was very lucky to have danny there to take care of me. i wound up making out with max on the hammock and not even realizing what i was doing. i dont remember half the night but i went home extremely wasted and my mother called the cops. a police man came and i have to go to court in october for underage drinking. its rough stuff. oh well. i am at school right now and i have to go to class now.  
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blah. i hate school   
02:00pm 05/09/2003
  this is really my first entry and to tell the truth i have no idea how to use this whole blurty thing. i am very confused. oh well im sure ill learn. i really dont plan on telling any of my friends about this journal because i dont want every person i know reading it. i have a journal on melo but it is extremely slow. i am at school right now and very glad that it is friday. i am about to go home and try to do some more work on this journal so i can be less confused.  
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08:36pm 01/09/2003
 
mood: confused
music: Thursday - Cross Out The Eyes
 
 
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