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in lust, we trust

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[03 May 2003|01:55pm]
in the rain. i see your makeup. slowly dissolving on your cheek
in a way. you're like a circle. constant and closed off from me
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last 24 hours [03 May 2003|01:58pm]
[ mood | weird ]
[ music | saves the day ~ as your ghost takes flight ]

last night i spent the night with shannon. i think i have a crush on her brother zach right about now. im hoping it's just an after-effect of having problems with adam. plus he's a year younger than me. shannon has been such a good friend to me right now. but she's kind of annoying in the fact that at school all she talks about is danny, her artwork/job/how great all that shit is, and how lame scene kids are. especially when she's "trying" to be all indie now. how the fuck do you "became" indie? i wish sean would come back. [i still have all his built to spill cds, which i burrowed right before he moved.] i need to talk to him about EVERYTHING. my parents are pissing me off again. i got another letter from them. they're overseas in asia or whatever on some archaeological dig. they are the most selfish people ever. sometimes the worst thing i think they could have done was to have a child in the first place. they just always leave me with my aunt [btw, she's got a new bf. he = 8/10.] i really love my aunt. she's probably the only person i truly love, enough to die for. aunt liz, my elizabeth. my mother is so absent from my life, so self-removed because of her job. dad too. it's weird when i actually do see them. i can't identify. i just see how controlling and domineering my mother is, which i guess is good when she puts forth that passion and intensity in her work. my dad is so passive, peaceful, and if i get to talk with him enough, i can see a romantic whimsical side to him which shows me how much i am like him. i can relate with my dad in a way. never with my mother. she's antarctica in reference to me. oh, she made it her personal duty to be home in time for my prom, so she can ruin all my plans, which aunt liz wouldnt have. sweet. btw, i guess adam and i are still on for prom. or else i'll be dateless and drag out the super-emo songs. and knitting needles :P

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