Keep Away From Me's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
Keep Away From Me

[ website | See the Strange Girl ]
[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]
[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[26 Jun 2004|08:35pm]
I have $41.37. Wow thats the most money I have had all summer, how shall I spend it. Got any ideas?????

[19 Jun 2004|09:17pm]
[ music | "Annunciate While You Masticate" by A Static Lullaby ]

Me + my Brookie

We hanged out today, it was so much fun, but thats me and brooke all the time, I havent been this happy in so long


[18 Jun 2004|09:49am]
[ music | "Sleeping In" by The Postal Service ]

my mom has her friend over
I going to sound really mean
but I dont know how anyone wants
to talk to my mom
she reminds me someone in middle school
I feel like she is trying to impress people\
well that all I am saying about that

So I like my hair today
dont know why
here's some pics

its flippsy )
This what I did last night )
I was really bored, so I made these also today, this has been Edited )

I told him -

"if they made a cartoon of you
I would watch it."

and he replied -

"If I had a cellphone,
I would program your
Heartbeat as my ringtone"

Secretly saying 'I love you'

1 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

[12 Jun 2004|07:26pm]
New layout, I really like it

made all by myself well I didnt draw the pictures

sorry I dont really update

[10 Jun 2004|08:50pm]
Got my hair done, took forever

They had to strip the red out

cost a bunch, but my mom paid

I am so happy about how it turned out

and it isnt that ugly red, its my natural color

it is great, I am so happy

Before )
After )

So what do you think

New Layout [08 Jun 2004|09:49pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

I am fed up of reading journals

where they write there life as a story

I like people that tell there life

or question life

I am fed up people making stories I do not care for

They are shit


if you want to tell a story go write a book

but dont tell stories about things that are not true about what happened

Questions, I love questions

curiousity brings a smile to face

but dumb questions that I dont care for

I hate

things I find simple I dont see how people see to be hard

But no one reads this

or if they do

They dont find it to any interest to them

I am just whiney, I am a whiney person

its what I do

I also copy

I copy what I see

atleast I admit to it, but I put my own spin on things

I am being myself at the same time

[07 Jun 2004|02:21pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]
[ music | No Doubt - Just A Girl ]

My parents are being bitches, they wont let me go to the cursive concert, they say it is too late, not like I dont stay up till 1 or 2 in the morning, and no matter what time I go to bed I still wake up at 12, this makes me mad, why do they pick on me, they never really did this to my brother or my sister, well maybe to my sister, but FUCK just because I am girl doesnt make me that much different from my brother at my age, why dont they trust me, and they can trust him, him who gets drunk and does drugs, him who was arrested for dealing drugs, and they dont trust me, me who makes A and B on my report card, me who never got drunk, well disicluding one time, and same with drugs, me who has never gotten arrested, me who never been in trouble in school, the worst thing I have ever gotten was in middle school because I was tardy, and all it was was lunch detention, yeh dont trust me, and its not like I am going with guys, to think about they would trust me more with a guy, if I was going with Logon they would be thrilled. I hate my parents

6 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

[06 Jun 2004|02:40pm]
So yeh cant wait for tomorrow

I feel like I waiting for something big to happen, have you ever had that feeling, when you are jsut wait for something big to happen, but you dont know what it is.

Well thats what is new.

I am doing good at updating this huh???

[05 Jun 2004|08:35pm]
going to go and see cursive on Monday, yes

What is Happening in Emily's World [04 Jun 2004|05:17pm]
I thought I update again, seeming as it is Friday, I am bored, and I have nothing better to do

so what has been happening

Well Kelseys dad is leaving which sucks, because he has to go train for the marines to go to Iraq, which is not fair on Kelsey and her family

umm...what else is happening, michelle is comming to town today, wow I sound like a little country folks.

I took some pictures today, mostly of me, but really I am not that conceided, but there are two of my sister and her boyfriend

Todays pics, ooo aahhh ooohhh )
Well bye

Love Emily
4 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

[02 Jun 2004|03:49pm]
I was bored and re-did all my journals, I dont what else to put, I dont update here anymore really, sucha shame I guess, this was my first Journal and all, and it is the longest I have had, but I think my livejournal for a really long time aswell, well schools out, logons gone, and David is going to move aswell.d

I need to stop complaining.
2 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

[02 Jun 2004|03:40pm]
1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. Do you have a crush on me?

5. Would you kiss me?

6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

7. Describe me in one word.

8. What was your first impression?

9. Do you still think that way about me now?

10. What reminds you of me?

11. If you could give me anything what would it be?

12. How well do you know me?

13. When's the last time you saw me?

14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

15. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?

[28 May 2004|04:46pm]
Is there really a point in the end???
1 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

[15 May 2004|08:51pm]
if someone would post a comment on this journal, then I might consider updating it alittle more, so other wise go to my other journal at
5 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

My Thoughts [10 May 2004|09:15pm]
    I am going to make a list of things that are overrated

  • Kurt Cobian- Just because he killed himself does not mean he is the greatest rock god, it just means he was severely depressed, and there music wasnt that all great.

  • Punk- I just dont get it, all it is rebelling against the government and making crap music.

  • Emo- Not all emo's are depressed, black thinck rim wearing glasses, wooseys, that is a bad assumption, of an emo, most emo's dont cry.

  • Depression- it is not just about wanting to kill yourself, it is a serious disorder, it is caused by stress, and being put down, and just because you feel sad doesnt mean you are depressed.

  • Hardcore music- People think it is just about worshiping the devil, and wanting to die, which it is not, also most of the time it isnt that hardcore, and what is so big about growing in a microphone.

  • Avril Lavigne- Yeh, I cant stand her, but I got over it, she is just trying to make some cash, and be an idol to some girls and she will be over in acouple of years.

  • Being Yourself- Everyone who says they are just being themselfs, really means they are trying to be different, and all the people that try to be different all dress the same basically.

Thats all I can think of just now.

Who cares [07 May 2004|06:36pm]
[ mood | jubilant ]

Never trust me with taking Pictures, I am horrible )

My Chemical Romance is the BEST [02 May 2004|06:33pm]
[ mood | full ]
[ music | The Dark Night of the Soul - The Get Up Kids ]

So on Saturday I got up at 12, pretty early for me, and I had an hour too get ready to got to San Marcos

I was stuck in the car with my mom for hour and a half, and all I heard was Alan, Alan, Art, Art, Art, Noel, Noel, Noel, Call you sister saying were nearly there, so I didnt enjoy that car ride

Then in my sisters dorm, it was more Alan, Art, and Noel, and money trouble but were still going on a summer vacation, so I couldnt wait till she left

Then I had fun laughing at my sister smoking and then Byron arrived and we went out to get some food

I love San Marcos, its so perfect for me, I love how there are old and new things about it, and you can walk, and go to all the thrift shops, I love being in the car and just driving through San Marcos, thats the reason why I am going to university there, because I cant picture spend four years of my life anywhere else.

after driving for a while, we decided to just crash in my sisters dorm, then we got more food, and I spilled coke all over my pants, it just didnt look right, and then we left, and as we left the cafeteria we saw a cute little kitten, and we were all aawww.....

We left to go to San Antonio after that, and the sun had come out and it was starting to heat up, it was 50 degrees mainly all day, and it was the first day of May in Texas, it isnt supposed be cold, but we left San Marcos, and we in the car just listening to music, and laughing, I love spending time with my sister, I always feel comfort when I am around her.

We made it to San Antonio, and we found the place, and we had half an hour to waste, and surprisble the club was near the rich part of San Antonio, so we looked at all these huge house, and we were all in complete amazement

We got in line to get in the club, and the guy standing behind us, wow what a self centered jerk, I would of hated to be with him, he was trying to act cool, and I saw Jason, but I didnt introduce myself, because I wasnt actually sure it was him at the time, well we got in after skipping most of the line, hahaha

So we got in, and this club is the coolest place I have ever been in, and it was all black lighted, it was all crazy, the first two bands played I didnt really like, I got bored half way through both there performances

The My Chemical Romance got on stage, and it was crazy, I got tons of pictures, and the lead singer of that band is hot, and then Avenged Sevenfold got on, which took forever, I got up pretty close, I even stood next to a really sweaty guy just to get pictures, and Byron(Who is alot taller than me) took pictures from a higher distance vocer the crowd (Thanks Byron) and wow thoughs people smelled that I was standing next too, I wonder if they had ever used deorant, and this wasnt just guys around me, it was girls, and wow they stunk.

So after the show I got my T-shirts, I will get pictures of them later, and then we went home, and my ears havent recovered yet

Well I have to get off the computer

Bye Emily

Simple Questions [30 Apr 2004|05:32pm]
1. Who are you?
2. What is your relationship with me
3. Describe me in one word
4. What part of your body am I most like
5. What reminds you of me
6. How did we meet
7. What was your first impression
8. If you could promise me something, what would it be
9. What is your best memory with me
10. If you could be with me anywhere , where would we be
11. If I were a food, what would I be
12. Call me something dirty.
1 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

Blah [29 Apr 2004|06:39pm]
[ mood | scared ]
[ music | Thursday - Jet Black New Year ]


How are you??? I am good surprise, I am so glad this thing is working, I was freaking when I came home and it said Maintance, that just sucked, I wonder why they were doing that.

I cant wait till Saturday, me, my sister, Katie and Byron are going to go and see Avenged Sevenfol and My Chemical Romance in San Antonio, I havent been to San Antonio in about 3 years, wow that was a long time ago, I cant wait though, it the first time I havent seen a band in Austin, I am such a local

It's Thursday but I didnt wear my Thursday shirt, thats a first in months, but I am listening to Thursday, I cant wait till warp tour only because of them

It didnt rain today, I thought it would rain, which is good it didnt, I am happy about that

OK, just know I feel like you know down, but I dont, like I will put like a brave little smile on, but I still feel like crap, and I feel so bad for some reason, but as usual I dont know why? I wish I knew why, I hate feeling like crap.

I dont know, I dont feel like writing any more, I feel really bad

Bye Emily

YEH [28 Apr 2004|05:01pm]
[ mood | giggly ]
[ music | Avenged Sevenfold - Remenissions ]

Its working, you dont know how happy this makes me, this journal is working, muhahah

Well it doesnt matter I have new Jounal at

its actually pretty awesome that site, but blurty is basically built of off live journal, well I will write a proper entry later.
1 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

Sad Sad Boy [23 Apr 2004|04:37pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | My Chemical Romance - Vampire Will Never Hurt You ]

My ex-best friends you could say, ok I have written about him before, me and him were 'together' but not really we didnt do anything, I wasnt kinda freaked out he was my friend and I was dating him so avoided him the whole time.

Well I will get to the point, ok, I haven't talk to him about acouple of months and definatly dont plan to talk to him now, well atleast nicely, he really frustrates me, we go to the same school and I have to see him every day, and we have teh same friends, well sort have the same friends, and well he just frustrates me with him being 20 feet near me, so I usually leave when he is near me

But I he has so many girlfriends, well not at once, but I dont see how he gets girls, I mean he is so fucking annoying, he wants all the attention all the time, he always makes you feel bad for him, and then he throws something in your face to make you feel bad, and laugh then he will be all "I'm Sorry" which I dont get it your sorry, then why the fuck did you mdo it, and its not like he didnt know what he was going to do, we were friends long enough to know what pisses me off

But I still just dont get it, but then again he did go out with a 6th grader, really sick seeming as he is in high school, I cant beleive I was ever friends with him, he just so easy to feel sorry for, but now I realize it was all just a act


On another note, there is a really cute guy at my school, and I think I might introduce myself to him, but with my confidence that might not happen


On a stupid note, people are getting stupid in my school, every one wants to just fight, it is so stupid, and then everyone is like "that was so cool" or "did you hear about the fight" thats all you hear all day long, and then me I am just like I am trying to work I dont give a fuck, other than you are annoying me with a stupid question

To make a point to all the stupid people in my school that care, it is not cool, its purly stupidy, if they were not in High School they would br bums on the street, and not be consider "cool" but a bum, so what so kewl, but then again there the saying "What is right may not be cool"


On another note, only a week and a day till I see My Chemical Romance, and Avenged Sevenfold, I get to spend some time with my sister so I am happy about that, but not happy enough


I am really just really fustrated just now, so many things are just frustrating me, some I dont even know why, I just want a wild night, but I know I will probably be stuck at home with my parents, because I dont have a life
3 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

She was crap [21 Apr 2004|09:00pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | silence ]

Todays music industry is going down the drain, I partly know why and mainly dont know why, because I am not that smart to figure that out yet

But what really irrates me now is what is kewl in a band, Bands now adays dont have to sound good anymore, they just need to unheard of, and everyone thinks there great, well atleast thats what alot people I know of do, and it frustrates, yeh I am just as much against manufactured music as anyone else, but the reason why these people manufacture these bands is because they make good music, its not crap, I understand maybe some of these unheard of bands haven't been signed on a label, but eventually they will if there a good band, but high doubts that the band could be that good

Also today while listening to local radio station, a new artist was played, dont remember her name, but she just sucked, there is such things as singing or rapping, but this girl none of a sort, she was crap, she was like just talking, and made some sort of noise that may of been singing, and she had a record deal, I will give props to Avril Lavigne who has the slightest vocal cords to make it big, but this girl did not, and there is way too many bands out there getting away with that, they suck but they are making it big, it makes no sense, and is really giving me a headache

I dont know why I am posting this, not like anyone seriouly reads what I am saying, except occassionally, and for some reason I cant seem to keep posting on here, I feel like such a nerd for how long I spend on here
2 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

Wish the Beauty would come back to life [20 Apr 2004|03:27pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | Static Lullaby ]

I never believed I fitted in, if I thought that I might aswell have a big kick me sign on my back, people make fun of people, I make fun of people, I believe everyone makes fun of everyone, its the harshness of the world, but we all do it to feel alittle bit better about ourselfs, even if we aren't so great, we need to at least believe something about ourself


Have you ever just looked at someone, someone you see every day, and for acouple of years you thought they were beautiful, and you wished you were them, and after awhile you realized what you thought was beautiful is just shit, that the person you thought was beautiful wasn't in any way what you thought, that they make you cringe when you look at them, its like that beauty may of just hid every thing, which is now not there and you see everything this person is about, and it isnt what you want to be anymore, and you wished you could go back to thinking they were beautiful, but it's too late, and impossible to even consider beauty inside them
1 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

[19 Apr 2004|08:31pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | Early November ]

It is like freedom to me, not seeing my friends for a whole day, and not really talking to them, I dont have to hear them complain, and I dont have to worry I am complaining in front of them

I think the perfect person for me is someone who tells me what is on there mind, no matter how stupid, smart, mean, or insercure it is, I want someone who will tell me if I look stupid or that they just dont care, instead of me asking them they will aumatically tell me, I guess thats why me and brookes relationship is great, she is the only person who has ever been like that to me, but she is a girl, and I just dont like girls that way, I just want some one who is truthful to me, but I guess thats everyone, but I just want someone to be stupid with and serious, and not have different people for different moods I am

I just like being alone, I dont feel I am bothering that way, I can just be in my room, with my music on, and just lying down doing nothing other than staring at my ceiling fan, remember stupid times, that never are forgotten, and are not worth forgetting, I just want more of those times, but they never seem to happen

Maybe I try to hard to have fun, or maybe I have given up on all hope on having fun ever again, and I have realize this is my life, these are my friends, and this is my every day routine until I am old enough to move out, and then who knows when that will be, I just need to forget every thing and everyone behind me, loose my identy, become something new, throw away all my clothes and get new ones, and get a new hairstyle, and move out of this tretreous town, and move further north, or west, and become something new, with new friends, and new family, and forget everything here
1 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

This is my only communication I can do, typing [19 Apr 2004|12:46pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | The Get Up Kids - Wouldn't Believe it ]

Taking the day of school, I can barely talk, I think I have strep, this sucks, I have a test, and two test tomorrow, so I will three now for tomorrrow, and knowing my BCIS teacher she will add another test just for laughs, but I dont know if I will make it till tomorrow, my head hurts, and my nose is cloged up, and my throat ofcourse is the worst, will I guess I can practice my guitar all day, I dont have any homework to catch up on, and I really wish I had brought my Geography book home, but I was healthy on friday and didnt think I was going to get sick, so I could finsih my maps.

I guess this is good though, I can hide from high school at my home, I dont have to see everyone I hate, and have annoying immature people around when I am doing my work, or have someone who thinks there smarter than me, and there the one asking me for homework advice, which I dont get, if you think your right dont ask someone to help you with your home work, I ask people to check my answers but that is still rare

well I am going to take some advil, and watch TV, I only woke up about an 40 mins ago, so I dont need to nap, I have been asleep for long enough

Bye Emily

My throat [18 Apr 2004|09:31pm]
I never thought my throat coudl hurt so much, I bet I am getting strep throat, but I cant miss school, I feel so sick though

I went out with my dad today, father and daughter bonding, we went to baseball, it was fun I guess, people kept staring at me, as if I was different, I didnt like it, I'm not different, I am just like those people, but it still was fun, we had actual seats and we didnt just sit on the grass, so I go to see the game from where I was sitting, and I talked my dad in going with me to the death cab for cutie concert, thats going to be fun, I dont mind taking my dad to that

[18 Apr 2004|12:52pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | The Get Up Kids ]

Elegy for Iris )

Dont Masterbate )

[17 Apr 2004|05:57pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]
[ music | FFAF ]

Well I cleaned my room finally, it was really messy, and irrating me

and I re did this thing, isnt that a kewl picture, I found it and I was like I have to use that

go to my other journal at

The background song is awesome, I want you to listen to it, it is funeral for a friend, I dont really want you to read it, its really boring, I dont update as much as this one, I prefer blurty over anything else.

Bye Emily

Hidding From The Lie Of Society [16 Apr 2004|06:10pm]
[ mood | artistic ]
[ music | Sesame, Smeshame - The Early November ]

Lie's of Society )

[16 Apr 2004|05:16pm]
Dont you hate it when people are like "I dont want people to feel sorry for me," and then try to get everyone to feel sorry for them

Friends are the foundation of life [15 Apr 2004|09:25pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | The Mountian Range in My Living Room - Early November ]

I am a mean person when it comes to people I dont like, when there not happy I am happy, and when there happy I am still happy, as long as they avoid me

I find it annoying when people try to prove something to me, that they are better even if I didnt mention anything about being better, they will like study things so they can prove they know more, and people I am not that smart, I am making a C in typing now that is sad, other than that I am making all A's except algebra, but I would be making a an A if I turned in my work, so I am stuck with a high B, which might soon change.

Me and Stevens relationship when down hill from 8th grade, just his whole making fun of me, and over obessing, and I will describe our relationship

Friends, best friends, avoid each other, friends, best friends, hate each other, friends, best friends, getting fed up of everything each other has to say, me not forgiving him

I you know I am not forgiving him, our relationship is one big ride, and now it has finally ended, and I am relieved, and I dont know, its weird, I feel free to talk to anyone I want, and I dont have to worry if it annoys him, I can like my music, and him not complaining there too over played, or that there arent a complete underground band that sucks basically, he always used to say he didnt care what people thought of him, and then he would do things to make himself look different, and doesnt that make it seem he cares what people think, and then he would say that he doesnt sterotype, even I sterotype, and he sure as hell sterotype

He is not my problem anymore, but the thing is because he goes to my school he still frustrates me when I walk down the halls, he trys to say Hi, and I try my head, just like what I do to David, but he is a different story

But now when I with who ever, I feel like if I could stop this moment, and I am so happy, I dont think I have smiled as much as I have in a long time, I feel there is so much lifted, so much now that is there, I dont care anymore, I dont care what people think of me, I am wearing more color, and I am doing good in school, I hope all this doesnt end, I hope I dont get depressed all over again, I dont want any negative energy around me, I am too happy to deal with anything serious that could effect the rest of my life

and check out my icon isnt it awesome, I have my whole journal now completely Funeral For a Friend themed, how sad

Well Bye Emily


[13 Apr 2004|07:24pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Garbage ]

(The only fool is me) )

1 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

I feel mean [13 Apr 2004|05:29pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | Grass is Green - Nelly Furtado ]

Ok if you know you are going to sweat during the day or you just know you smell period, put deorant on before you sit next to me, because I dont like to smell people, I also dont want to end up being the one telling you stink, I never want to sit where I was sitting again where I sat today, I am very hygenic when it comes to smell, I understand if you may have forgot your deorant for after PE, but if its repeatively, I might just buy for you, OK, ok

2 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

Seeing if it works [12 Apr 2004|02:14pm]
3 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

"He's your brother" [11 Apr 2004|09:48pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | The Stokes CD - Room on Fire ]

I really cant stand the way my mom talks about my brother, she makes it seem like he never did anything before, that he was never arrested, that he is a fucking fuck up

She always is saying 'this is his last chance, if he screws this up he's out for good, with no support from us" I really wonder how many times I have heard that and nothing happened to him, its not that I dont believe in my brother, even though I dont, its just I dont see why anyone does, he doesnt deserve it, he never showed in kinda potential to succeed

Another is my mom doesnt believe in me, if I do anything wrong, I get yelled at and have no chance to explain myself, but I dont do anything to get kicked out the house, no I am the "Good Kid" some times I wish I was the bad Kid in my family, that I could be given hope to, so everyone could talk about me at the table about me fucking up, but still having hope in me

I think when my brother moves back in, I think I might run away, I dont want to live here when he is living here, I cant stand it when he isnt, so I dont think it will be any better when he is, I wish I could stand up to my mom and tell her to shut the fuck up, and she should just give up on him, I'm sure my dad wants to say that, I know he has given up on my brother, he has disownd my brother, but he will never admit that


If only I could say things the way they should be said [09 Apr 2004|09:28pm]
[ mood | blah ]

I feel old, and tasteless, like I have nothing to prove to the world anymore, I feel like everyone around me are just images created in my head, I feel my happiness wont last, I feel like I am not being true to myself, and everyone around me

Everytime I try to say I love you to my mom I just want to cry, and never seem to get the words out, I dont want her to know how I feel about her, I also dont want her to know I cant stand her, and I wish she would treat me more like my sister, even though she is 4 years older than me, I just wish she could see that I am here alone, and being baricaded from the outside world, and hate it when she says 'its your choice' and then she gets dissapionted in me, I hate it when she makes my dissions for me, and then she makes it seem like I wanted it turn out the way it did, then she cpmplains about things I do, and she does the exact same, maybe it was the 2 monthes without her, and just being with my dad, aybe I just realized things, Me and my Dad we get along fine, but I still also cant say I love you to him either, just makes me want to cry, then I feel bad I didnt say anything, and maybe that was the last time I am going to see them, and never told them how I felt, I feel like I am lying to everyone around me, and I have to keep lying for them to care, or then I am not worth anyones time


Weird happens when you least expect it [07 Apr 2004|05:58pm]
[ mood | creative ]
[ music | Drowning lessons - My Chemical Romance ]

You know whats great, when someone you have had class with since the beginning of year, and you start to talk to them, and you realize that they are not a stuck up spoiled rich girl, but really they are really nice, and thats the way the were brought up, and they dont know anybetter, but try to act less spoiled

I have had a good day, I made someone smile, they said I was the only person who did that so far today, but I was sad Katie was in NY, and she wasnt there this mourning, I will see her next week, outside today it is beutiful, and warm, I had to get changed when I got home, I had to wear something, Springish, instead of a black shirt and blue jeans, I changed into a pink shirt and capri pants

Its weird being happy, and tomorrow is the last day fo school this week, so I happy I get out on friday, me and brooke might hang out, I havent done that really since our argument, its weird beign friends with her, she is the only person who seriously knows what I am thinking all the time, she knows the guys I like even if I dont mention it, and we both have the same opinion on things, but like everyone else I know she doesnt know know me, she just knows my basics, I guess, there is stuff I keep to myself

Well I am in a good mood, It is completely weird


1 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

Why do the good girls always like the bad boys? [06 Apr 2004|06:01pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]
[ music | Pretty Girls Make Graves ]

Yeh today, yeh it was weird, so there were thunderstorms at 5:30, me absoulutly petrefied, and I was freaking out, so I have been up since then but surprise I am not tired just now, and my power went of at 7:30, and I nearly got out of school, but I didnt have the book I needed to finish my HW so, that wouldnt be good.

School sort of flew by, I had to read in W. Geo, so I didnt like that, I get so nervous, but Iwas looking forward to leaving, because today was my first guitar lesson, it was so much fun, he is going to be a great teacher, and I learned my first cord, yeh I am happy about that, all you people who dont understand why well tough

So after that I went to HEB, and I met up with Katie, I didnt want to hang around ger to long because she was with her friends, I fell so freshman, but I got those smothie things, it seemed interesting, and I got nilla wafers, its like my herione, I love them, and I love that HEB, it has the hot guy working there, I bet they just hired him because he is hot, and he goes to my school and I see him everyday, I feel nerdy around him, well when I walk by him, if I had confidence, I would talk to him, but I dont and I can just admire him from a far, I sound so sad

Yeh today was fun, other than the storms, the thing is it is sunny now, and its hot, and Texas weather is so terrible, and unpredictable

Should I cahnge my Layout picture??? What do you think????

Well bye, tell me how your day was



MTV Brainwashed me [05 Apr 2004|08:41pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | No Doubt - Magics is the Makeup ]

I am so tired, I forgot to set my alarm so my mom woke me up at 8, and I freaked out, and then I nearly got run over this morning, but I got to look at the guy I like, damn he is so nice, and never go with me, negative he is a senior, and he doesnt like me, he just thinks I am the only 'cool' freshman, so thats good I guess

So yeh today was good, I had fun, I got my finger stuck in a door, I got my guitar, I start lessons tomorrow, so happy with that, and I think there is a new kid at school, I want to introduce myself, but you know me, and trying to introduce myself, he is quite cute, ooohhhh yeh that Laci chick is back, well I think she is girl, but man I hate her, why the fuck did she come back

All day I have had a buzz of coffee, becuase my mom made me coffee, so I have had a coffee headache all day, which is weird headache, and I had a weird dream last night, I will tell-

Ok I am in a limo, I am with my sisters boyfriend byron, and have you see that MTV show "I want a famous face" well the girl that did the britney spears one was there too, and we were all in the limo, and we would be having fun, and the britney girl was all dressed up, and was flirting with byron, and she was gigling, and we were all just playing in the limo, so the limo had a movi theatre in it, and then we just were playing in there, and then we went to the hotel, and I got lost then I found the limo, and that britney girl was in there and she was all he is mine, and I was like he is my sister boyfriend, leave him alone, and so Byron came in, and me and him were playing, and then we got these cordless mouse, you know the ones for your computer, well they controlled the windows, and we would have comptitions about who could get the window down the fastest, and then my mom started knocming on my door, but that was weird, even if you didnt think it did, or of you didnt understand it

So yeh today I think was interesting, I am going to go see my sister this weekend, so I talk to her for a longer time, and have fun in San Marcos



[04 Apr 2004|04:16pm]
Everyone is dissappionted in me, whats new, why do people know that hurts me the most, tell me to fuck off, or you suck, or some stupid thing like that doesnt hurt, but why poeple say dissapiontment, just because I dont do some thing, specially when I am already down about what I did, and then they let out, and everyone seems to to bedoing to me in the past week, what did I do, maybe they should of given me more instructions, or less stanards, fuck, why do they always do this to me

Where is Home? [04 Apr 2004|04:07pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | Garbage ]

I miss home, I want to just go on a plane and go home, be with my grandfather, and always having a fire on inside the house, I miss Scottish weather, I miss walking to school in fields, I miss it so much, I miss getting custard at school lunches, proper fish n' chips, I miss walking down the high street, I want to go home


I need to stop listening to Garbage [04 Apr 2004|11:36am]
[ mood | silly ]
[ music | garbage ]

Wow, its morning, and I am in a good mood, and the clocks have gone a hour forward, wow today is a weird day, I want to see "Prince and Me" it looks so good, but I will probably not see it today, ohwell


I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of the road
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore

Can't find it in the bible
Can't find it on TV
Can't find it in diamonds
There's something inside me that just won't allow me to
Can't find it in music
Can't find it in my soul
Can't find it in chocolate
Oh babe I can't hide it
I can't even find it in you

I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of the road
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore

There's no way she can kiss you the way that I do
I heard that you miss me
Oh you should be careful of who you keep talking to
Ten long nights without you have taught me to be strong
I've cut all my losses
Think no more about it because I couldn't find it in you

I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of the road
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore

There was a time I thought I'd die
If you should ever leave me high and dry
And you don't want me any more
It's time to settle the score

I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of my tether
I've torn all your letters up
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore
I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of my rope
And it's time that I told you so
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore

It's time to settle the score

2 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

[03 Apr 2004|04:33pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | static lullaby - we go to eleven ]

I dont get it, why people say I will work in the music business, even my own mom says I will, I dont suggest that I will, I am not that obessed over music, I dont see how people picture me doing that for the rest of my life, I dont maybe I want to do something more in life other than make music for other people to listen to, I still dont see why people see me that way


[03 Apr 2004|03:20pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | Shut your Mouth - Garbage ]

We love you
We hate you
We love you
We want you
We need you
We wish we were like you
They say you're a saint
You're a whore
You're a sinner
That he had you
He made you
He can't live without you
Would you confess if we asked
That you nurture the urge
To declare that it?s time
To settle down
With a man of your own
You want a baby
A family
A piece of security

Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it
Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it
Just shut your mouth

What's your opinion of the dire situation
In our land here
Our guest here
Of course you'll be nice here
How do you feel about God and religion
Are you good people
Bad people
Guess it doesn't matter people
Your place
My place
Make her bring that famous face
You got some
You want some
You wanna let me get you some
We know your music but of course we'd never buy it
It?s too fake man
Right man!
(We don't give a fucking damn)

Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it
Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it

I hear you say it
Play it smart girl
Win the game love
Give?em what they want
What they want to see and you could be a big star
You could go far
Make a landmark
What have you been reading you smart girl?
Win the game love
Give?em what they want
What they want to see and you could be a big star
You could go far
Make a landmark
Make a shitload

And the world spins by
With everybody moaning
Pissing, bitching and everyone is shitting
On their friends
On their love
On their oaths
On their honor
On their graves
On their mouths
And their words say nothing

Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it
Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it
Just shut your mouth

I wanted to say something
Oh shut your mouth
I wanted to say something
Just shut your mouth
I wanted to say something
Oh shut your mouth
I wanted to be something
Just shut your mouth


I need new friends, I mean like just now I am becomming friends with Seaneila more and logon, Linda, and Katie, are like the only people I really like to talk to, only four people out of my school of around 2000 people, wow I just dont know, why I am so un-likeable, no one talks me, and I plainly just have a fear of talking to people I odnt know, but I know not everyone has that fear, I just know anything anymore, it just feels like someone took everything out of my brain, and I have completely different thoughts

1 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

[02 Apr 2004|04:55pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]
[ music | The Strokes - Between Love & Hate ]

I dont know what it is, I mean, like I just have a weird feeling, and I dont like it at all, I just feel like crying, and then I want to smile, but just mainly crying, I want everyone who has ever hurt me, to watch me cry, and see what thay have done to me, and see I am human, even though I dont seem like it some times, and I want to tell them off one by one, and see how they like it, and I dont want to see them cry, I just want them to know they arent the only fucking people on this fucking screwed up peice of shit planet, and then maybe they will watch what the fuck they are saying, because it is really fucking pissin g me off, and making me upset, but its not just that is making me upset, I seriously dont know what it is, I just feel sad, I dont know what the fuck is wrong with me, Why cam I be a robot, it would be so much easier, and I could just explode when I am fed up or I could unplug my self untill that thing dies, but I wouldnt have feelings so it wouldn matter,

2 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

[02 Apr 2004|04:33pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]
[ music | jet black new years - thursday ]

Have you ever like felt like something happened last week, but it happened last night, and you remember it like it was last night, but you dont feel like it was just last night, because thats how feel, see I remember last night, but it just feels so long ago, like maybe it didnt happen, I know it did, but I dont know it still feels like a dream

1 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

[31 Mar 2004|08:22pm]
going to the thrice concert, and taking logon, and yeh awesome huh, and I got to go shopping today, and I got new pants and 3 new shirts and now all I have to worry about is my two tests, I am so happy
1 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

Some body made me think [30 Mar 2004|07:32pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | Cruiserweight - Yellow Lights ]

I dont the person I see in the mirror, I dont see me anymore, I just see trends that I have been stuck with, things that I didnt want to be part of that I stick with, because people thought it was 'me', what is me, why am I 'me', I have never heard of this person, is she inside me, because I see no me when I look in the mirror, why do people know what I want, why do they just hand me things because they think I want it, it isnt that way, I am not that predictable, its just what I was told I liked, and now I am just fed up of it


Jet Black New Year [29 Mar 2004|07:34pm]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | Jet Black New Year ]

dont even take a breath the air is cut with cyanide
in honor of the new year
the press gives us cause to celebrate
these air raid sirens, barbed wire skylinds by artificial night,
as we sleep to burn the red from our bloodless lives.
tonight were all time bombs on fault lines
have we lost everything now?
we're walking like each others ghosts
around these silent streets
(the sedatives tells you everything is all right)
like calendars dying at new years eve parties
as we kiss hard on the lips
and swear this year will be better than the last
jet black-the ink that spells your name.
jet black- the blood thats in your veins.
jet blcak-we say how long can we take this chance not to celebrate?
theres music playing but we dance to the beat of our own black hearts
and draw diagrams of suicide on each others wrists,
then trace them with razorblades.
fire to flames, strike match
burn these words from our lips
as the dagger screams love is dead
and its a newspaper tragedy
have we lost what we love?
have we said everything
does it change anything?
stare at the clock, avoid at all costs,
this emptiness.
ten seconds left until midnight
nine chances to drown ourselfs in black hair dye
eight faces turned away from the shock
seven windows and
six of them were locked
five stories falling
four ever and ever
three cheers for the mirror now of the
two of us can we have
one last dance
how long can we take this chance not to celebrate life?

1 Decided to come over to say Hi - Leave

[29 Mar 2004|04:50pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | Avenged Sevenfold ]

Grammy died, she isnt my grandmother, she is my sisters boyfriends grandmother, I had only mat her acouple of times, she was pretty old, and ever time I met her, she thought I was my sister twin, even though my sister are nothing alike, I liked how grammy said me and my sister were twins, I just like old people all together, I remember, I used to work at the old folks home for community service, it was a class I could take, and I has three choices, Elementary school, assisant living, and old folks home, I chose the old folks home mainly for people that would tell me stories about there life, and it was great till they would die, one week 2 of the patients I had died, me and jessica just couldnt go back after that, it is depressing, and tell you the truth I wouldnt like to die in that place all alone, I would rather be living with my children and grandchildren to die happy, atleast grammy died happy, with all her family around her, and she knows she had a great life, and she had great childen and grand children, and she died happy, even if it probably didnt look that way, but when some one is suffering they just have to pass on, instead of living the pain


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