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[22 Jun 2005|12:14pm] [ mood | nauseated ] [ music | A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying ] Last night Mooni, Tera, Half Slut (Catie), and I went to a strip club (a female one). Steve recommended TJs Showgirls on Beach and Cerritos because he got a lap dance from a black stripper there once and ever since has been obsessed with Michael Kors perfume. We stopped at the mini-mart around the corner first so Mooni and Catie wouldn't have to be sober for the experience, but unfortunately it only sold beer and wine... so they had to chug strawberry Boone's and Smirnoff Ice in the parking lot- a classy start for a classy night. Anyway... let's just say the strippers at an already shady place on a Tuesday night aren't the highest of quality, nor are most of the customers. The four of us were the only girls in the place who didn't work there, so to make it less awkward we got Kevin to come join us and bought him a lap dance in exchange. We picked the stripper who could do this fairly amazing thing with her ass for the lap dance, but despite her skill I'm guessing it wasn't the most enjoyable of lap dances since the four of us were staring at them the entire time. I've always been pretty... well, let's just say sexually open and adventuresome... but I could never, ever do what those girls do, even while completely cracked out. Apparently even I have limits. Good to know, I guess. post comment

[19 Jun 2005|11:15am] This is what happens after my mom drinks a pitcher of sangria at 3 pm: "i think people should drink it instead of coffee in the morning" -my mother, on alcohol "yeah, and then i tried to give him a blowjob and i threw up" -my mother, describing a particularly drunken night Then I had to hold her hand and guide her to the bathroom cuz she threatened to pee in an alley. Then we went home and she tried to make chocolate chip cookies but got impatient and took them out when they were only half done. I don't know how I didn't pass out after that, cuz wine makes me sleepy and I had a pitcher and a half of sangria. But instead Amy kidnapped me and I split another pitcher with her, followed by several pitchers of beer in a dive bar. So many shady men... post comment

[18 Jun 2005|02:36pm] [ mood | horny ] It's FINALLY summer! Last night I got a ride on the back of Jeff's new motorcycle... in my bikini, while slightly drunk. I really really want one. post comment

Undie Run [17 Jun 2005|02:22am] Last night was the Undie Run, a midnight run through Westwood in what should be minimal clothing but for most people ends up being shorts and tank tops. Obviously, we are not most people... we wore scandalous (pretty much nonexistent in my case) lingerie and penis headbands, crowns, and tiaras. Jessica and I also had penis-shaped squirt guns, and succeeded in squirting lots of people we dislike (as well as some we do like). At one point I ended up in an apartment of random Kappa Deltas and KD alum. Then I thought it would be a good idea to wander back to my apartment with a beer in my hand, despite the fact that there were cops everywhere. When they busted me, I put down the beer and ran as fast as I could. Luckily they didn't care enough to chase me. Back to studying.... 1 comment|post comment

[15 Jun 2005|04:48pm] [ mood | horny ] [ music | Supersuckers - Pretty Fucked Up ] Why can't shopping be a major? I would have a 4.0 and study all the time... I just bought $200 worth of alcohol-related things for my apartment- wine glasses, martini glasses, shot glasses, beer mugs, shakers, mixers, etc. Add to that the kegerator and 2 minifridges, and we're about ready to open a bar. Unfortunately, I am completely lacking more the practical things one might need for an apartment, such as couches, tables, a bed, a desk, dishes, silverware... but I'm sure those things will appear in time. Or I least Jackie and I will be drunk enough not to notice that that I don't have them... So Greg and Kenze aren't actually moving into the apartment til August, meaning in July Jackie and I have the place to ourselves. This should be scary for the rest of our building... fun for us though. post comment

I apologize in advance for this entry... skip it if you have a weak stomach [13 Jun 2005|02:40pm] I wish I were asexual. A good friend told me that I should stop having sex with guys who just expect it and don't appreciate it and don't work for it. I can't decide if I agree with him. On one hand, it would be nice to be appreciated/cared about/etc and to not "disrespect myself" by putting out for guys who don't respect me. On the other hand... I like sex. A lot. And withholding sex from males also means withholding sex from myself, something I have no desire to do. Wouldn't not having sex and using it as a pawn to get more than sex be disrespecting myself just as much? Also, what's with ALL guys (except Tim) being shady? Guys: if you have a girlfriend, don't hook up with other people. It really isn't that complicated. And if you do decide to booty call someone else who doesn't know you have a girlfriend, it would be best to make it someone whose roommate isn't friends with your girlfriend, cuz thats just a recipe for disaster. Oh, and advice for males out there: if I ever hook up with you, and afterwards find out that you have a girlfriend, and you try to hook up with me again, I will hook up with you a second time. But I will leave you with a trail of hickeys and bite marks so severe that you can bet you won't have a girlfriend any more... Oh, and being drunk isn't an excuse- because 90% of the things we do drunk are things we would do sober but wouldn't want to admit to doing sober. Ewww, this entry makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit... I sound like a whiny girl. Last night I really wanted to black out, but no matter how much I drank it just didn't happen. Even when I was drinking kamimazes from the pitcher. Apparently the alcohol tolerance is back up. post comment

[10 Jun 2005|03:17pm] You know you're a nightmare when your neighbor tells you that he's never actually seen you in clothes. Anyway... Bianca turned 21 on Wednesday and we took it upon ourselves to make sure that she got thoroughly trashed for the occasion. She did, and it was glorious! We went to The Stinking Rose, which is a restaurant in Hollywood where everything is made with tons of garlic. I'm not sure how we all managed to get laid reeking of garlic later in the night- but, alas, we did. Also I dragged Natasha out in her pajamas to smoke weed with us at Sigma Chi. We had a 69 "cock"tail party at my apartment last night in honor of 6/9, the best day of the year. In honor of the occasion we all wore lingerie. After numerous kamikazes and a few blowjobs (the shot, not the other kind) I was sufficiently blacked out and became my typical drunken nightmare self. I realized this morning that blacking out is fabulous cuz I get to have fun at the time and then have fun again the next day hearing about what I did. New plan for summer: I'm going to make kamikaze popsicles as a refreshment for when it gets too hot by Tim's pool. Also, I signed a lease on an apartment, and it's absolutely fabulous. We're gonna have too much fun in that 21-foot jacuzzi.... post comment

[04 Jun 2005|10:41am] [ mood | nauseated ] I can't remember the last night I didn't drink. It's not like I plan to... fun just comes to me. Last night (okay, yesterday at 6 pm) Amy and I started drinking and playinig pool at this dive bar by her house. I had planned to only have a few beers so that I could drive home... but after a few beers on an empty stomach a beer-off sounded like a good idea. By the end of the night we were definitely lacking pool skills, social skills, and walking skills. I had to call Tim to save the day and drive me home. A dive bar in Los Alamitos on a Friday evening is a great place for people watching though. There was a woman there dressed in typical college clubbing clothes (everyone else was in jeans) who was probably close to 40. While I was in the bathroom she started crying to me about how she felt so old and unattractive and how her son was 18 and she had 3 kids and couldn't compete with young people. I really hope I don't become that in 20 years. Then there were the men in their 60s who I'm pretty sure started drinking in their teens and have been drunk ever since. At least they bought us drinks though. Disneyland time! post comment

[22 May 2005|03:03pm] [ mood | lazy ] [ music | Tenacious D - Fuck Her Gently ] So, umm, the weekend... On Friday night Tim, Kevin, Bryan, and Jeff came up to LA. We drank beer, and then more beer.. then we went down to Delta Sig with a large purse full of beer. The guys at the door agreed to let all the guys in (including a random guy we met along the way who said I'm in his physics class and wear pink a lot) if I chugged vodka. So I did... then proceeded to drink more beer and vodka once we got inside. Then we ended up back at my apartment, and at some point it was decided that I would go back to Orange County with all of them and spend the night at Tim's, then go to SB with Jeff and Danny the next day. So Saturday morning I woke up at Tim's in my clothes from the night before, minus my underwear. The bag I had packed the night before included only a bathing suit and a dress. I hung out with Tim's parents for a while (who, despite the fact that I was wearing a shirt that said "Drunk Sluts Forever" with no bra, still love me). His mom and I cooked breakfast together. I called my dad right before we were supposed to leave for SB, and he guilted me into staying home for my brother's birthday dinner. It turned out to be a good choice though. As a joke, Greg told my dad that Saturday night was Pirate Night at Shogun (a nice Asian restaurant). Obviously nobody believed him, but we decided to be assholes and dress like pirates anyway. So my parent, my sister, her boyfriend, and I showed up for dinner in full costumes, right down to a fake parrot perched on my mom's shoulder. I think my brother was thoroughly horrified. post comment

[18 May 2005|12:26pm] StArFaCe6884 (12:18:33 PM): so we figured you have spread your sickness throughout the entire greek system :P iiim JEEESUS (12:18:40 PM): haha really? iiim JEEESUS (12:18:52 PM): how? StArFaCe6884 (12:24:33 PM): well...mono is contagious for a month before you see sysmptoms StArFaCe6884 (12:25:00 PM): so we figure you got phipsi,and snu in one night....sigchi through the hooka StArFaCe6884 (12:25:07 PM): all of us through you StArFaCe6884 (12:25:15 PM): tina got to theta xi StArFaCe6884 (12:25:21 PM): and zbt StArFaCe6884 (12:25:30 PM): and then spread it outwards post comment

[13 May 2005|02:12am] I hate UCLA. Waiting in line for 20 minutes (even with VIP wristbands that shouldnt even be necessary)... pushing through crowds of unattractive drunk people... getting told by an ugly Asian guy that you got his frat in trouble and to wear a shirt next time... dirty looks from overdressed drunk girls.... this school sucks. What ever happened to the "college experience"? I hate rules. post comment

Yay life [08 May 2005|01:33pm] [ mood | grateful ] I am SO MUCH HAPPIER! I love my apartment. Some reasons: -I can drink wine and eat melted brie in my own living room. -I'm pretty much certain than when I walk out of a room people don't immediately start talking about me. -When I come in at 8:45 am in my outfit from the night before... nobody cares that I walked home like that. -The walk to parties is 3 minutes instead of 30. Anyway... Thursday night was an adventure. Bianca, Tina, and I decided that instead of wearing grass skirts and coconut tops we should be different and wear sailor costumes. I love stripper costumes. We all got separated right after we got to the party, but it definitely a fun night. And that's all I'm gonna say. I'm sure the bearded lady with the crooked face and no social life who reads this journal way too often will be disappointed that she has nothing to report back to the sorority-cult. post comment

[30 Apr 2005|06:42pm] [ mood | happy ] Changes... So after I told Kappa Delta that I was deactivating at the end of the year, people went crazy and brought me up to Standards for basically everything I've ever done and some things I didn't do but they think I did. Standards Board (well, the half of Standards Board who hate me) accused me of "lashing out" and being mean and said several people in the house have complained that they don't feel comfortable living with me anymore. I was a little confused, because I've been exactly the same nightmare the past couple weeks that I've always been. Then... they said I violated me expectations of membership by "being promiscous" and wearing costumes in public places and basically forced me to resign on the spot. It all worked out though... there was an empty spot in Pam's apartment so I moved in today. And the two-faced bitches who I used to call my "sisters" are going to rue the day they fucked with me. post comment

[25 Apr 2005|12:09am] My car... is dead. And it's not even my fault this time... someone didn't take the parking brake off and now my brakes are shot. At least I think that's the problem. It could just be permanently fucked up from resting on its frame for 45 minutes when I accidentally drove halfway off a ledge over spring break (long story). But the moral of the story is: destroy a car and get a better one. I traded my car for the Mercedes, which is a surprisingly nice upgrade, even if it doesn't have a PA system. So people keep recognizing me as "the girl from the pictures", which is fairly amusing. I thought I could go out incognito on Friday by wearing a wig and assuming the identity of a Polish slut named Lucia, but that didn't work out. I'm obsessed with the idea of dying my hair red though. Also, I hate two-faced bitches. A lot. Being mad makes me destructive... and being destructive makes me happy... and pretty soon I'm going to be veeeerrry happy. Muahahaha.... post comment

[13 Apr 2005|03:08pm] [ mood | relieved ] So I failed miserably at giving up guys... what a shock. It's been a fun week though. Even though there's no way I'll ever be able to give up guys, giving up these guys is no trouble at all.... What He Said.... "Alright ,like, its Matt. Here's the deal: I got a good deal on a hotel room for Wednesday night and I'm looking for a playmate to come out and play with me... Let me know if youre interested. Its actually the same hotel we stayed at before so let me know... if not I'll have to find somebody else to play with. Bye. " What He Really Means... "Alright, like, why the hell don't you ever call me back, I mean I'm god's gift to women, 35 and shady as fuck, how could you not want a piece of this? I got a hotel room, cuz wow I'm hot shit... plus I can't really fuck in the house with my kids there... and you know you wanna come fuck me in it. It's actually the same hotel me and your friend stayed at before, hopefully if I say 'we' you'll forget that I actually fucked her there and not you, damn I'm soooo sneaky. If you don't wanna fuck me someone else will... I am the shadiest motherfucker on the planet." What He Said... "Hey Andree it's me, Fireman Ed, just calling to see how you're doing. Its been a while since I've talked to you... ummm... it's Wednesday... ummm... i dont know what the fucking day it is. Anyway I'm just chillin at my house just wondering what you're doing and was wondering if you have any free time in the next couple days to maybe hang out, get some dinner or drinks or whatever... uhhh... I'm free tonight (Wednesday) and Friday night. Jsut give me a call... hopefully everything is well... catch ya later babe." What He Really Means... "Hey Andree, I'm a fireman, remember, a fireman, how could you possibly resist a fireman? I actually haven't called you in like 2 months... ummmm... I'm stupid... ummmm... I'm stoned. Anyway, I'm just lying around the house with my kids and really wanna get laid and was wondering if you could come by and fuck me sometime in the next couple days... if you need me to I'll get you wasted first so you think it's a good idea. Uhhhh... you should come do me tonight, otherwise on Friday cuz I actually have my kids tomorrow. So call me... hopefully you're still alive cuz you haven't returned my best friend Matt's booty calls... fuck ya later babe." Could they be any shadier? Instead of giving up guys, I gave up something else: sorority. Why? Well, basically because every time I hear "PR" I throw up in my mouth a little bit. I have no desire to change who I am to be "good PR"... or to be labeled "bad PR"... I just want to do my thing and be myself and have some fucking fun. As soon as this quarter is over, I will no longer be in the house. If everything works out as planned I'll have an amazingly nice apartment with Greg and Mackenzie... Greg and I figure that if we live together we will be able to manipulate endless funds out of my father and will live in luxury. It's gonna be great. post comment

[02 Apr 2005|09:12pm] [ mood | grumpy ] So I know I haven't updated this thing in a while, and I apologize to those of you who read it consistently. It's just that my life hasn't been very exciting lately and I didn't wanna bore you. Actually... there have been plenty of journal-worthy moments... I've just been too busy to write about them. And now they all kind of blur together and I would feel like an even bigger dork than usual writing about funny stuff that happened weeks ago. Instead I'm gonna write about my spring quarter resolution. I'm giving up guys. As in all interactions with the opposite sex beyond the type of interactions I can have (well, have and enjoy) with either sex. No random sex, no dating, no relationships, no fuck buddies. Yes, that includes you. You too. Yup, even you.... Why? Well, it really just comes down to time. I gave up drugs for winter quarter, and while it was a drastic improvement over fall quarter I'm still not quite excelling at life. Spring quarter is gonna be even busier than winter... math, physics, 2 programming classes, and my boss just put me in charge of like 5 more databases. If I'm gonna do well in my classes, be a good house manager, be a good employee, and sleep, something else has to go. But... why guys, and not something else? It comes down to the ratio of input vs output, i.e. the amount of time I put into each area of my life versus how much I get out of it. I put a lot of time into school, but in the end I'll have a degree in something useful. I work a lot, but I also make a lot of money. I bullshit with friends and family a lot, but they keep me sane and happy. But guys? No matter what capacity I interact with them in I end up putting more into them than I get out of them... even when they put out. There's the random hooks ups: getting dressed up, going to a party, getting drunk, and feeling shitty the next day is a lot of time and energy to put in for like 15 minutes of crappy drunk sex. And for anything more than random hook ups even more time and effort is involved, especially when I end up getting attached to someone cuz that leads to not only wanting to spend time with him but actually thinking about him when I should be thinking in C++. Bottom line: I don't have enough free time right now to waste any time on something with minimal benefits. I really am gonna miss sex though. I'm not used to going long periods of time without it. Hopefully I can redirect sexual frustration to study power... if that works I'll get straight As no matter how hard my classes are. Then, if my body hasn't trained itself to block out sexual desire as a defense mechanism by mid-June, maybe I can give myself a break this summer and have some fun. Summary of Mexico: Random SDSU guy on the beach: Oh shit, why are you guys studying? Me and Pam: We aren't, we're just reading. SDSU guy [blank stare on his face]: huh? 1 comment|post comment

[03 Mar 2005|01:57pm] [ mood | nostalgic ] [ music | Supersuckers ] I'm the busiest person alive! I took a break this weekend though. Denial is great. Even though I had a million things I should have been doing I left my laptop behind and went up to Tahoe with Paul. I pretty much got to be the laziest person ever, Paul cooked, cleaned, drove, carried my skis, rubbed my neck- I got spoiled. Now that I'm back in my messy room with boring class and unfabulous food, I'm totally going into withdrawals. Then on the way back from Tahoe my parents called to tell me that my sister-in-law was in labor, so I drove from Tahoe to SB to San Diego. The baby, Gabrielle Dolores, was born at 4:30 Monday morning. By the way, we realized in some middle-of-nowhere town in central California than there was a hole in the brake line of the Expedition, so all this driving was without brakes. We kept adding more brake fluid but it would all leak out within 5 minutes so it really didn't do much good. Time to work! post comment

[22 Feb 2005|02:18pm] [ mood | productive ] Addiction of the week: ebay. Take the thrill of shopping, combine it with the thrill of winning, and you have Andree's dream. Unfortunately, it's costing me more money than drugs would. However, I'm working again, so I have the money to blow! Basically I'm doing the same stuff I did this summer, but from home, for 20 hours a week or so. Even though that money doesn't even cover half my shopping, I'm hoping it will lower the credit cards bills just a lil bit so that the lectures won't be so painful every month. It's supposed to snow in Tahoe through Thursday and then be nice all weekend. If the forecast holds true, this weekend will be amazing. It's been raining constantly. I love the rain, however, I don't love: 1) LA drivers in the rain. Apparently safe rain driving includes slamming on your brakes randomly cuz you know, if you're going over 40 mph while it's raining your car could explode at any second 2) Puddles. My uggs are soaked, and wet uggs smell like wet dog + feet.. yuck. 3) Stupid people. I know this has nothing to do with the rain but I haven't expressed enough hatred for them in this entry. On a positive note, when I wear my terrycloth juicy suits to class it's like wearing a towel- perfect rain gear! post comment

[11 Feb 2005|07:52pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | Bloodhound Gang ] I realized this morning that lately when I've been going out I've been drinking like I did freshman year, aka a whole fucking lot. The problem with this is that I don't go out every night like I did freshman year, so my alcohol tolerance isn't quite what it used to be. Consequently, I've been getting ridiculously wasted. Example: last night. We went to Sigma Chi, had some vodka and pucker and beer, and next thing I knew I was hammered. I made new friends... had sex to cure my hiccups... lost my cell phone... and I'm not really sure what else, but somehow we killed a lot of time cuz we didn't get home til 4 am. And, based on how long it took me to sober up, I'm guessing I didn't stop drinking until the second we left. I woke up at 9:07, still drunk, threw on a shirt and some sweatpants and ran out, with no books, notebooks, etc, to get to my 9 am class. I failed to notice it was pouring until I was already outside, then in case the rain didn't drench me enough proceeded to stumble through an enormous puddle. I rolled into class 20 minutes late, wasted, and drenched from head to toe. And did I mention I wasn't wearing a bra under the shirt? Yeah, think wet t-shirt contest. And by the way, the class was programming. But the important thing is that I went to my classes. So even if I get more wasted than I used to, I'm still more responsible... right? post comment

[28 Jan 2005|03:32pm] [ mood | lazy ] [ music | Supersuckers ] It's pretty much a guarantee that every time I spend the night on the other side of campus I will end up not having my cell phone in the morning. Seriously, every fucking time. Which leads to some interesting Walk of Shames. Thursday I had to walk across campus at 8 am in a corset while leaving a trail of blood because I somehow managed to cut my toe and it was bleeding everywhere. BUT I managed to make it to my 9 am discussion. Impressive, huh? This morning, however, the 9 am class wasn't gonna happen. The combination of rain and waking up still drunk totally killed my motivation. At least I'm sober now though, unlike Morgan. I just had to drive her to work cuz she had a bottle of champagne for breakfast and is still drunk. post comment

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