Andree's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] Andree [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[07 Aug 2005|10:10pm] Some of you may not know this, but there's a site out there- imchaos.com- that has some pretty fabulous stalker-stalking features, my personal favorite being the linkspy. The linkspy features allows you to track who clicks the links in your profile- screen name, last click, number of times clicked, and ip address. Imchaos is a pretty common thing, which is why most people with IQs over 100 who are compulsive journal readers (I'm not gonna lie, I'm one of them) bookmark journals or remember the URLs. Clearly though, not every compulsive journal reader/stalker has caught on to this, since there are plenty of people who click the link in my profile regularly. Whatever... I write in this thing for my friends, so I'm glad that a lot of them enjoy it. And it's cool that old friends I barely talk to anymore or people I don't know too well like reading it... glad to know you're amused. However.... Dear POTUSEE2032, LaCasa49, Pitchbend7, and all the others who have me on their buddy lists and read about me but have never actually IMed me: Who are you? Do I know you? If I know you... how come you have me on your buddy list but don't speak to me or pretend like you don't know who I am when I IM you and ask who you are? If you don't know me but you find me interesting or amusing, why don't you just say hi sometime? Or, if you insist on stalking random people, at least learn how to do it without getting caught. Dear ex-sorority sisters, ex-friends, and enemies: Lucky for me, you are no longer a part of my life. I'm sure you're just as glad about that as I am. So why do you still read about me all the time? Are you looking to see if I'll say something about you? Sorry... you're really not important enough to be worthy of mentioning, so get over yourself. Or are you just looking for some gossip or something to talk shit about or make fun of? I'm not gonna pretend I never read the journals of people I don't like for those exact reasons, but once again... at least learn how to do it without getting caught. Dear friends, acquaintances, and people who I don't talk to much but who are still amused by this journal: I'm glad I can entertain you a little. My new journal is http://trrrouble.diaryland.com... ask me for the password. Really, don't be shy- it's not like I don't know you read this entry anyway :) 1 comment|post comment

[07 Aug 2005|11:04am] [ mood | hungry ] [ music | Madness - Our House ] It's been an interesting weekend. Friday night we went out in Hollywood for Stephanie's birthday. Since Steph and most of the people coming were ID-less, we planned to pre-party at my apartment then take cabs to the Avalon. The pre-partying lasted a little longer than expected, of course, so we missed our first cabs and had to call for a second set. When we finally arrived (or so we thought) there was a long line. We found some guy who said he could get three of us in, so me, Steph, and Sydney went in first, then pleaded with the manager to let the rest of our friends in. He agreed, so we all got in and Stephanie led the way to the door and handed the bouncer her ID. The bouncer then looked at her like she was an idiot and told her the place was over 21. Stephanie: No it's not. Bouncer: Yes, it is. Steph: No but it says online that you're 19+. Bouncer: No... we've always been over 21. Steph: No, I went to the website and it said the Avalon is 19+. Bouncer: This isn't the Avalon... the Avalon is next door...\ So we left, feeling slightly retarded, and went next door. This time there wasn't a line, but there was a $25 cover charge. Luckily, Stephanie's persistence bordering belligerence about not paying was successful, and we all got in for free. The club was fun for a while, but it didn't take too long for the extreme heat to become unbearable. We all piled in one cab for the ride back, and somehow it came up that it was our cab driver's birthday so we sang to him. Then we went back to the apartment for more drinking, obnoxiously loud 80s music til 4 am, Italian Express garlic cheese rolls, and naked cooking (I made Sydney and Tera an omelette). I went to bed around 4:30 with no plans to get up before noon. Unfortunately, my landlord had other plans. At 10 am one fire alarm went off... then a couple minutes later another... then another..... then my landlord comes up and tells our floor not to worry, that he's testing all the alarms and waited until 10 AM ON A SATURDAY because he didn't want to alarm us. Jessica and I ended up going to Orange County to meet Steph and Sydney at the beach, then went to Baja Willie's for a drink and ended up back at my parents' house, where we somehow got convinced to stay for dinner. During the meal Jessica brought something up about a mold.. my sister caught on and asked if it came in a bucket and was from Condom Revolution... I said I wasn't allowed to buy anything from Condom Revolution on my AMEX or Dad was cutting it up, but unfortunately wasn't able to change the topic. So I had to sit at the dinner table and explain to my mother, father, and sister about making a penis mold. My mom (she had already had a couple glasses of wine) then said she wanted to make one of my dad so she could have it whenever she wanted and not when he did. Traumatizing. She then asked it that thing that she saw in the vase on my armoire was the penis mold... she had noticed it when she was at the apartment but wasn't really phased and hadn't commented. Then she said it was kind of small. Sorry Jeff. Danny and Jeff rode they motorcycles up last night and drank with Jackie and me. When we went to Theresa's to pick up the beer Jackie left there I rollerskated... and the conclusion is I need a lot more practice before I start skating to bars. It'll happen soon though, don't worry. 1 comment|post comment

Golden Spoon > Sex (almost) [05 Aug 2005|08:12pm] I've been sober for 48 hours. I totally deserve a keychain or something. I know kids from Orange County generally bitch about how crappy it is cuz everyone's the same and blah blah blah... but seriously, Orange County is heaven compared to LA. Well, by Orange County, I'm referring to the region along the Pacific Coast from Seal Beach to Newport Beach extending inland no more than 10 minutes from the ocean... my Orange County. I'll agree that the rest isn't anything to get excited about. Reasons Why Orange County Is Better Than LA 1. If you get on the freeway at 9:45 at night, you're pretty much guaranteed to be able to go 80+. 2. A trip to the liquor store really can take only 5 minutes. 3. Two words: Golden Spoon 4. Hot surfers > metrosexual posers 5. My car is not considered big at all, and fits into pretty much any parking spot I find. 6. That being said, parking spots are usually easy to find. Most of my Orange County friends are terrible parallel parkers... but who gives a fuck cuz they'll never have to do it. 7. Golden Spoon 8. There are two giant and amazing malls, South Coast Plaza and Fashion Island, that I can get to (including parking) in 15 minutes. 9. I can be at a perfectly nice beach in 7 minutes (including parking). 10. Danielle's incredibly nice 2 br, 2 bath apartment in Newport with 2 pools, etc: $1805/month. My decent 2 br/2 bath apartment in Westwood with a scary elevator and shady jacuzzi on roof: $2500/month. 11. If you go into a restaurant wearing a bathing suit under your clothes, nobody gives you dirty looks.... in fact, your server asks how the waves were. 12. There is no Eurochow (aka crappiest place in the world) in Orange County 13. Did I mention Golden Spoon? 14. Los Caballeros > LA Fitness times 100... not only because the equipment is nicer, but also because you never have to wait to use it. 15. Less people. God I hate people. 16. Air conditioning is not necessary because there's a wonderful ocean breeze. 17. The majority of lights have left turn arrows... and yet there's less traffic. I could keep going... but I think I've made my point. LA does have some advantages though: a decent bar within walking distance and stripper stores. That's about it though. post comment

[03 Aug 2005|09:44pm] Why is it that every night I go out, no matter where I go and how un-obnoxious I'm being, someone recognizes me as "the pasties girl" or "the girl who got kicked out of KD"? Isn't UCLA supposed to be giant and impersonal and therefore conducive to having no reputation? And when did it become okay to tell someone in a bar that you've seen them on myspace? I won't lie though.. I find it all hilarious. I bought roller skates today and as soon as I learn how to brake I plan to wear them everywhere. Maybe I can replace my current titles with "the roller skates girl"... Jackie and I drove down to Orange County today for the sole purpose of getting Golden Spoon. We decided to go to the beach while we were down there just so we didn't seem like total addicts. Also, I've concluded that everyone who lives is my building is fucking retarded. One car parked in someone else's spot, so the girl whose spot it was parked in someone else's spot, but in the second spot so that both of the stacked spots were blocked. It basically led to a chain reaction, with cars parked in random places blocking in other cars. I want to switch the license plates all the cars parked in the wrong spots, then have them all towed. I hope the building realizes that I'm a huge bitch and that anyone who parks in my spot (well, any of my 4 spots actually) will be towed immediately. Jackie is convinced she's a HIVbag (she is DEFINITELY not, but she's psycho paranoid), and I'm 5 days into the sugar pills in my birth control pack and haven't started my period... together, we embody the sluttiest person in the world... any guesses to who that might be? post comment

[02 Aug 2005|11:08am] Last night was supposed to be a calm, stay-at-home night. We agreed that if we didn't drink, we could eat, so we smoked a bowl, had our favorite sandwiches, and watched Saved. But at 12:45 when the movie ended, we decided that staying in on a Monday was actually a ludicrous idea. We lined up the shot glasses (I had 7 in about 15 minutes), got dressed (flashing corset, bunny ears, and jeans) and went down to Delta Sig. I drank some beer, made Kerry feel incredibly awkward, told Ann she was being socially awkward, squirted multiple people with the penis gun, made fun of basically everyone who has ever existed, and passed out in a random (but really nice) guy's bed. Oops. post comment

[01 Aug 2005|03:05pm] We finally have furniture, weed, and the makings for key lime martinis. Basically, our apartment is heaven. So the secret is out- the first penis in our molded penis collection was Jeff Koval's. And let me tell you... it was quite the process. How to make a penis mold: 1) Get a fully erect penis 2) Measure the fully erect penis against the tube into which the mold will be poured. Cut the tube to the length of the penis. 3) Heat water to exactly 98 degrees. 4) Mix 98-degree water with the molding gel and stir and pour into tube. 5) Within 2 minutes of mixing water and gel, insert fully erect penis into tube. When penis is inserted into tube, mix will spill all over, so be sure to do this on a surface that you can easily peel the gel from (not carpet) 6) Keep penis in tube until gel dries. 7) When the gel mold is dry, remove penis and clean up. Let the gel mold sit for a couple hours. 8) Pour rubber stuff into the mold up to 1-inch from the top. 9) Insert vibrator into rubber stuff. 10) Let sit for 24 hours. 11) Remove your new vibrating dildo and place it in a vase surrounded by baby's breath. That doesn't sound too bad, does it? Tim agreed to make two (one for us and one for Stephanie), and Pat (Jackie's Pat) also agreed... and we will get Amy's 18-year-old cousin Kenny's, no matter what his stupid brother says. We also wanna get one from every house on the row, to go next to their composites in our collection. Since each kit costs $60... this is gonna be an expensive hobby. Jackie and I also decided that we really need to fill the kegerator. Like, now. post comment

[31 Jul 2005|11:44am] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Xzibit- alcoholic ] The entry below this one is a perfect example of why I shouldn't be allowed near a computer while belligerent. However, to my defense, Stephanie told me to do it... Stephanie got the full glenrock-out with your cock out experience last night and this morning, right down to having her breakfast made by me in a thong. She also saw the UCLA beasts and midgets we are forced to put up with and now understands why we get so fucking drunk every night. Jackie and I used to blame the absurd rate at which we go through alcohol on our visitors- however, after polishing off a handle of vodka by ourselves in 2 days, we are forced to face the fact that the problem is us. Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do about this, because we rely on alcohol to make the rest of the people in Westwood tolerable. We can't go out and then get drunk off other people's alcohol, because we'll be so bored/repulsed that we'll end up leaving before we have a chance to get wasted. This journal makes me sound like an alcoholic. So last night we went to Michelle Marshalian's going away party at Phi Psi, but the fun Phi Psis weren't there and the beastly KDs were. Then we went to Delta Sig. I'm at war with their house puppy. Apparently I drank tequila... ugghhhh... I wasn't hungover when I woke up this morning but now that Jackie reminded me of that I am. Theresa was the drunkest I've ever seen her, and I loved it. I have the worst taste in music ever- like country, Bloodhound Gang, Tenacious D, and Xzibit- yet I insist on playing it so loud that it can be heard from the elevator. My neighbors must loathe me. Also, Jackie and I cleaned the apartment yesterday and concluded that we should always keep it this clean. In about 20 minutes, our couches will be here and it will be like a real apartment. I have rug burn on my knees from having sex in the living room, and Jackie says I can't have sex again until it heals. Boo. post comment

You suck, I don't, I win, you lose [31 Jul 2005|12:59am] I hate you. You hate me. Too bad you're really crappy... my friends love me no maaatter what, and you take it up the butt. I'm happy, which is really all that matters to me. My life is perfect... and you CAN'T ruin it. We took back Beta's composite and played with lots of frats. Stephanie D. is here playing tonight. Jackie is the perfect roommate, and Theresa is the perfect visitor. My friends = my friends forever, because I'm a good friend to my friends and they reciprocate. To those of you who are too shady to have good friends... sucks to be you. Karma will bite you in the ass. P.S.- you should feel really stupid right now. post comment

Can we mold your penis, please? [28 Jul 2005|01:31pm] Today I walked into class 10 minutes late and still a little drunk and found my professor (a 65 year old man) shirtless preparing to lie down on a bed of nails. Topless old man + 9 am + beer, malibu, and captain mo = nauseous bear. I decided today was not a class day and walked right back home. Last night I went to Maloney's with Jessica and Matt. Matt bought all our drinks, so I figured the least I could do was provide him some entertainment. There was this ugly, stumpy little man standing by the bar. I walked up to him, put up arm around him, hit myself in the face with my boob, then walked away and sat back down. Needless to say, he was quite confused. Since for once I didn't drink before going out, I hoovered my drinks even more quickly that usual.. basically I drank them in 2 gulps. By the end of the night, when it actually got crowded, I figured I should just order 2 at a time cuz otherwise the time between drinks would be longer than the time drinking each drink. Amazingly, I made it home not blacked out and with no new stolen property. To be honest, I'm a little disappointed in myself... So Jackie and I have decided to make molding penises our new hobby. Any willing moldees out there? If you're lucky you might get a blowjob out of it... and your penis will be immortalized. Who wouldn't want that? post comment

[27 Jul 2005|11:09am] [ mood | pensive ] Last night while lying around naked at the apartment I discovered (don't ask how) that I can slap myself in the face with my boobs. Then we went to Maloney's, but after standing in a line that didnt' move at all for 15 minutes we got over it and went to Delta Sig instead. Delta Sig was actually fun- I scared some Kappa Delta spring pledge and got 4 adderall in exchange for showing my boob-slapping skill. Hey, at least slapping myself with my boob for adderall is better than sucking dick for coke, right? At least Jackie was amused... she had been complaining that I hadn't had a full-blown nightmare night since she moved in. It's sad when a 13-shot-in-an-hour-wandering-Westwood-and-going-to-random-parties-alone night doesn't qualify as a nightmare night. If that doesn't qualify, what does? Apparently even wasted stealing of very large objects doesn't, as long as you don't get caught. Well... public nudity (or liquid latex) does, sex with more than one person (or with one person but in a very public place), either thoroughly pissing off or making the night of an entire fraternity... and I'm sure there are more things that qualify as full nightmare that I have yet to do but will soon. So there are a couple people I was indifferent towards before who I've now decided I kind of hate. The problem is, I can't decide if complete life-ruining is justified. I used to think life-ruining was justified whenever I was angry, or annoyed, or just bored.. but karma being how it is, I decided a while ago that I can only ruin someone's life when the person actually does something to me. Example: Because of Stacey Arthur, I got kicked out of my sorority and had to find somewhere to live in the middle of spring quarter the same week that I had 3 midterms and a programming project due, and Krappa Delta is still refusing to refund my housing money. That definitely qualifies as doing something to me, and therefore would give me the right to make her wish she had never been born... if I cared enough to. But I'm not sure I can justify destructive behavior towards the people I currently want to ruin, because even though they are assholes and SAY mean things, their actions haven't inconvenienced or harmed me in any way. I'm torn... what do I do? And since when do I even have a soul and care whether life-ruining is justified? I'm sure like 10 people reading this entry are getting a little nervous right now because they suspect the above paragraph could be in reference to them. I guess that's what you get for stalking someone through blurty who you don't actually talk to, huh? 1 comment|post comment

[26 Jul 2005|10:52am] [ mood | hungry ] I always knew the drinks I made at home were stronger than the ones from bars, but until recently I didn't know just how much stronger. Usually I just turn the rum/vodka/soco/tequila (vomit) over for a few seconds into my glass, then add a little diet coke/orange juice/cranberry juice/etc, and that's that. But out of curiosity, the last couple times I've actually measured how much alcohol I put in with a shot glass... and, on average, I have 4-5 shots per drink. In general, I think this is a good thing, because there's no point in wasting calories on mixers, and it's a lot cheaper to get drunk at home off two drinks than to buy 8 at Maloney's for the same level of intoxication. The only problem is I go from sober to drunk is 2.5 seconds. Last night, for example, I only had 2 rum and cokes before we went out. However, since 2 Andree-made rum and cokes = 10 shots, I was definitely a drunkypants before we left the apartment... drunkypants enough to cut open my finger while prying a composite out of the wall with a butter knife, carry the composite back to the apartment, then booty call a guy from the house to whom the composite belonged to my apartment with the composite in plain view. I hope nobody from that house reads this journal. If you're reading this and think the house I'm referring to is yours... don't worry, we're gonna give your composite back soon. post comment

[24 Jul 2005|11:00am] [ mood | destructive ] [ music | stephanie ] Yesterday I had Golden Spoon three times. Golden Spoon > Penguins times 100. Thursday night Jessica and I came to Orange County to stay at my parents' house and go out in HUntington. We ended up at Baja Willie's, which turned out to be the best decision we've ever made, becaude not only did they have cheap drinks, they also had- brace yourself- free food. This guy who was probably about my mom's age started talking to me and buying me drinks. Normally I would rather buy my own drinks than trade alcohol for conversation, but this guy was actually chill to talk to. Like, if he had been 20 years younger and attractive, I totally would have done him. But, alas, he wasn't, so after I was sufficiently buzzed we left and went back to my house to smoke with Lindsey and Kyle instead. Lindsey and I ended up splitting a typical stoner meal at Denny's at 3:30 am- an omelette with mushrooms, hash browns with ketchup (but not enough to make them soggy cuz that would have been a travesty), and a caramel apple crisp. And that, my friends (and random readers), is why I can't smoke weed very often. Then on Friday, I went to Tera and Christiane's housewarming party. I love Tera and Christiane.... but some other people from our high school who I'm not so fond of (one person in particular, actually) felt the need to be five years old, talk shit, and cause drama. I really wanted to punch her... but I didn't want to cause a scene and ruin Tera and Christiane's night. Yesterday I slept most of the day, which turned out to be a good thing because I ended up not getting home til almost 5 am. First Stephanie and I hung out with my brother and Kenze on their boat in Long Beach. Nobody actually knew how to operate the boat, so we just chilled in the dock. It was a cool place to drink though. After that we went to some guy's house in Anaheim to meet up with Sydney. We assumed that we weren't gonna know anyone there (p.s. Steph says shout out to everyone) , but when we got there the guy whose house it was looked at me and was like, "I know you... you're Andree." At first I had no clue who he was, but it turned out his name was Paul and he had been at my apartment for our 6/9 party (one of my many black-out nights) with Tim. It was me, Steph, Sydney, Paul, his brother, hot twins (mmm, double the fun), and some ridiculously bitchy girl. Steph got stumbly wumbly drunk, so drunk that she thought she was sober and needed to drink more. On the way home we stopped by Tim's, who got woken up by Steph straddling him... so even though it was 4:15 am he couldn't complain. Breakfast time!! post comment

[21 Jul 2005|12:55pm] [ mood | thirsty ] [ music | my head hurts ] Pi Kapp... is gay. No, seriously. We stole their composite, they found it and took it back, the end... right? Nope. They definitely called the cops and reported a list of other items we allegedly stole from their house. Ummm, actually... all we took was their composite... we don't want their anal beads and gay porn. Last night, a police officer (who made it perfectly clear that he thought Pi Kapp was retarded for even calling the police) showed up at Jessica's apartment with the list of items. She had none, so he left. But seriously- who calls the cops over a stolen composite? In most normal houses, composite theft is treated as a compliment, or practical joke, or minor annoyance at most, not as a fucking criminal activity. It's not like we weren't gonna give it back... well, actually... damnit. Lisette's birthday celebrations have made me wonder why I ever stopped going to bars. And now that Lisette is 21 and Jackie has an id she can borrow, I have partners in crime. Basically, I'm going to be really poor and an even bigger nightmare now. We're going down to Orange County tonight to play at the parents' house with Tim, etc. I'm way too excited about Golden Spoon. post comment

[19 Jul 2005|10:07am] [ mood | thirsty ] [ music | my head hurts ] Hangover princess. Ugh. Anyway... Saturday night we had Tim's 21st birthday party at my parents' house. Obviously, Tera and I felt it necessary to decorate as obnoxiously as possible- pink and green streamers, balloons, princess cups, and boob balloons on the front door. The night turned out to be quite interesting- Tera and Stephanie and Tim were quite the make-out trio (way to hook up with brothers Tera)... and Tera and Steph and I were quite the obnoxious trio and locked ourselves in my room for quite a while making noise and being assholes. Somehow I ended up wearing the boobless corset under my shirt (no idea how or why that happened). Also, I made Tim a giant beer bong and had everyone sign it. I think beer bong making might have to become my new hobby- at least it's less destructive than my current hobby! For once in my life I actually decided to be on semi-good behavior and passed out early, by myself, in my thong, in my parents' bed. If only the night had ended there everything would have been fine... but a couple hours later I woke up because I was hot and suffocating and discovered 4 guys in bed with me. Clearly if the four guys had been, oh, Steve, Danny, Tim, and Paul, this would have been a completely normal situation. However, the four guys in my bed were Evan, Graham, Anthony, and Chris, the latter 3 being guys I barely know. Their excuse was that they were looking for an empty bed... since when does a bed with a mostly naked girl sprawled out in the middle of it qualify as empty? Also, my bed downstairs actually was empty... It was funny though, so I didn't complain. Then at 5:45 my still not too sober ass stumbled out of bed and suggested that we get donuts. Pat liked the idea, so I wrapped myself in a sheet (I have no clue why I didn't put clothes on) and we got donuts. Some kids in the donut shop laughed at me, and I told them they got a lotta brass laughing at me... and they got scared and left. Then on Sunday Jeff was Tera's and my slave for the day. We purchased him for $20. I could totally get used to having a slave, although I'm not sure my dad will see it as a valid expense when I give him my weekly spending report. We sat in the backseat while Jeff drove us around, had him open doors for us and run ridiculous errands and, well... I can't talk about that, but trust me, it was great. And then it was back to Westwood... oh drunken debauchery. Stealing princess is back in full force. post comment

[14 Jul 2005|09:36pm] [ mood | annoyed ] Oooooh doctor's office... clearly you do not know who you're messing with. Last summer I had some drama with my doctor's office because, no matter how many times I told them to only call my cell phone and to under no circumstances call my parents' house, they kept calling the parents with test results, etc (refer to this entry for history). That battle ended with a long call to the office manager, who apologized and assured me that my parents' number would never be called again. I even went into the office and filled out new patient information forms just be sure they wouldn't make the mistake again. Anyway, I went in for my annual check last Friday (the one where I got the lecture I wrote about a couple entires ago) and obviously got tested for everything while I was there. Today, my mom called me to let me know that the office LEFT A MESSAGE ON THEIR ANSWERING MACHINE letting me know that my tests were all normal and to call if I had questions. WTF mate?! The office must be fucking retarded. I mean, if the HIPAA laws are so strict that my mom had to sign something agreeing to never leave her laptop in her car, surely a doctor's office who calls a 19-year-old patient's parents with the results of her STD tests is asking for major trouble. Oh well... at least my parents know I have sex so they weren't shocked by the call. And at least the tests were all negative. post comment

[10 Jul 2005|05:39pm] I drank 13 shots in an hour last night and didn't throw up or black out. Then I woke up this morning, still not too sober, to mimosas and beer. Mmmm.... In other news, my dad said that the next time there's a Condom Revolution charge on my American Express he's cutting up the card. He also said that I've spent $13,500 on credit year-to-date. Oops. post comment

I'm not slutty, just sexually enlightened [08 Jul 2005|10:33pm] [ mood | accomplished ] Conversation with my doctor today: Doctor: Are you single? Me: Yes. Doctor: So no sexual partner? Me: Well not just one... Doctor: Pardon? Me: I'm in college. Doctor: ...and? Me: Well I have sex, but not with just one partner. Doctor: Uhh... do you always use condoms? Me: Usually. Doctor: What do you mean usually? Why not always? Me: Umm, cuz I'm stupid? Doctor: If you're saying that it means you obviously know better. You need to ALWAYS use condoms. You can get HIV from just one time without a condom, so it's worthless to just use them sometimes. Me: But I always don't use them with the same partners.... Doctor: Do you drink? Me: Yes Doctor: How often? Me: Like twice a week (sidenote: definitely a lie) Doctor: And when you do drink how much do you drink? Me: As much as it takes to get me as drunk as I want to get... Doctor: That's not healthy! Did you watch Dr. Phil last night? College students are DYING from alcohol. DYING. And you're killing brain cells. I don't understand why anyone would want to do that. Me: Ummm... cuz it's fun? Doctor: You think killing brain cells is fun? Me: Well I think drinking is fun... Doctor: Have you ever woke up in the morning and had sexual intercouse and not remembered it? Because that happens, and you may find out you had sex with multiple guys in one night and don't remember. It's very scary. Me: I would NEVER get that drunk! (sidenote: also clearly a lie) She also told me I need to eat at least 1,800 calories a day (apparently my body is in starvation mode) and asked if I have a good relationship with my parents. When I told her that they are fine with my lifestyle, she was appalled. But, on a positive note, she refilled my birth control for a year and gave me 4 free packs... probably because the thought of me reproducing terrifies her. After a trip to Ikea today, I returned home once again with a car completely full of not-so-necessary things for my apartment. Including pink furniture. My brother is gonna kill me. 1 comment|post comment

a rant [07 Jul 2005|02:40pm] [ mood | busy ] I love my apartment and I love my friends. I love having lots of people here all the time. I love cooking for my friends and making them drinks because I love them and their presence makes me happy. I do not, however, love the following: -I do not love other people using my kitchen to bake things I can't eat then leaving kitchen a mess and taking my pans with them. -I do not love sharing my alcohol with people who aren't my friends. Buy your own. -I do not love constantly throwing out 3/4 full drinks. People who waste alcohol make baby Jesus cry. -I do not love when razorblades or 3 1/2 inch tattoo needles are lost in my living room. -That being said... on what planet is it ever okay to give yourself a tattoo in someone else's living room??? -I do not love when stuff is thrown off the balcony, because although in theory a balcony is the perfect trash chute, due to the design of this building and the location of my parking spot all trash falls directly onto my car. -And speaking of cars... if yours is in my spot and I don't recognize it and/or don't like you and/or didn't give you permission to park there, it WILL get towed. I feel no remorse over towing cars- if you don't believe me, ask AssPI. Daddy paid all my credit card bills yesterday and didn't even yell at me for spending $4,000. I was so shocked that I had to go shopping to celebrate. Mooni leaves for India tonight :( Also, Kerry Piper tried to bring me up to Kappa Delta Standards on 4th of July for waking her up at midnight and lighting a sparkler in her room. Does she not realize that once you kick someone out you can no longer use sorority authority to reprimand them for pissing you off? Someone'sgonna have some serious problems dealing with conflict when she gets into the real world. post comment

[04 Jul 2005|03:28pm] [ mood | hungry ] I have no idea why Tim is still friends with me. Maybe he's just my friend for the sake of his friends and family members, to ensure that they will never be without easy sex. Anyway... I went to a pirate party at Randy's house Saturday night (Randy Tim's brother Phil's cool friend). I'm so used to wearing basically no clothing to themed parties (and people at UCLA are so used to us wearing no clothes to themed parties) that I had completely forgotten that these kinds of costumes aren't the norm everywhere. So yeah.. my wench costume was 10 times sluttier than anyone else's. Then I did the usual... got trashed, blacked out for a little while (not the whole night though), and made sure my actions matched my costume. Unfortunately, I left my purse in Pat's car and my car and clothes at Pat's house, so when I woke up on Tim's floor Sunday morning I had nothing to change into. Actually, I didn't think that was unfortunate at all, but everyone else did. Michelle took me back to her house to wait until Pat answered his phone, and while I was getting out of the car one of her grandpa's stuck-up friends pulled up to the house and saw me. Oops. I really need to stop being such a nightmare. I don't think that's gonna happen though. Also, my entire apartment has given up eating. Prepare for really crazy bitchy girls. post comment

[30 Jun 2005|05:41pm] [ mood | numb ] So I moved into my apartment, and I like it. I've been the only person living here this week.. except Michelle, who visits every night. The nightmares have been over every night, and I've been trashed every night. Well, except one night when I had no electricity cuz I'm retarded and didn't realize I had to call the electric company and have them switch it to my name. Then we drank at Jessica's instead. I have a new habit of disappearing while wasted and waking up in random places. Consequently, I have actually only slept in my apartment one night. Michelle, on the other hand, has slept here 3 nights. Also, I'm obsessed with liquid latex. Tina painted me with it. Twice. My cell phone got run over my a car after we did Chinese Fire Drill on one of the liquid latex nights. Jackie moved in today, and Bianca is moving in Sunday. This month is going to be ridiculous. I was drunk til about noon today. After waking up drunk, I drank another beer on the way to my 9 am class, to which I wore a tiara. In the past 3 days I have eaten approximately 300 calories per day and have drank approximately 900 calories per day. Also, every morning when I wake up and remember/hear about what I did the night before, I wonder how I still have friends. Also, I'm addicted to tanning topless on the roof. 1 comment|post comment

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