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(strumming my guitar)

[24 Jan 2004|10:14am]
[the end]

(strumming my guitar)

i like this game! [05 Dec 2003|10:24pm]
[ mood | IMMATURE YAY :DD ]
[ music | simon and milo - ready ready set go! ]


(2 comments|strumming my guitar)

[10 Nov 2003|11:58am]
[ mood | blank ]

you don't realize how lonely you are until you see how happy others are together.

(strumming my guitar)

a little out of the loop, wouldn't you say? [05 Nov 2003|09:26am]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | nothing. ]

but then, i've always been left out, always expected to be too much of a jester to take anything seriously.

something's wrong with everyone and i wish i knew what to do about it, my usual jokes aren't lifting anyone's mood. i want to help, and it's only showing how useless i really am.

(3 comments|strumming my guitar)

[02 Nov 2003|04:41pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | lalalalLALALALA CHOCOLATE! ]

guess what i was for halloween?! A BIG BLOCK O CHEESE! :DDD totchi was a gogo girl. it was so cute. XD

(strumming my guitar)

am man was selling chickens, two for one and three for two...one was magenta the other was blue! [23 Sep 2003|11:45pm]
[ music | cibo matto - know your chicken! ]

Your inner voice is J setting his house on fire..

Your inner voice is nothing but a pyromaniac with nothing else to do. And you know what? I feel sorry for your slowly roasting head. Well, at least it's a happy voice because your voice sounds like..

test made by jyin

(strumming my guitar)

[13 Sep 2003|09:27pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | hikaru utada ]

i'm really lonely. and tired. and. yeah. i think i should go grocery shopping. i know i should, but i really don't want to. why is problem still in my head?

(2 comments|strumming my guitar)

[24 Aug 2003|08:45pm]

the end.

(strumming my guitar)

blah [01 Aug 2003|07:26pm]
once again, guess who's got no clue what's going on with his friends? kaoru won't either, but he's with relatives, he's got an excuse. can't wait for him to come home tomorrow.

[ooc: why am i never on the same time as everyone else x_x this is what i get for not staying up til 6am anymore >

(11 comments|strumming my guitar)

just another day [18 Jul 2003|10:10am]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | buck tick - love me ]

kaoru seems to be basically living here now. i went to do the laundry and at least half of it was his. so i took a waterproof marker and after the wash was done, wrote 'die hearts kaoru' all over his underwear. just...because. kaoru is a good cook. :D we got in a little fight last night because i couldn't pick anything to eat at the resturaunt we were at...it's not my fault they didn't have anything healthy...>>; my puppy keeps eating my shoes, even when they're still on my feet. x_x kaoru thinks it's funny and keeps encouraging her. >_< haru-chan (the puppy!) keeps whining at the door too, even when i've taken her out. i think she misses her mom, i guess i should go visit shinya again ne? he's such a friggin recluse...haru-chan and chibi get along though, it's cute :D haru-chan attacked the mess out of kyo the other day o_o; now i owe him a new pair of shoes and pants >_<

those have been the highlights lately. things have been calm mostly and i feel content. happy.

[ooc - i am so lost as in what the hell is going on x_x this rp is going to die, i know it, why do i keep dragging out this journal's death? *sighs*]

(4 comments|strumming my guitar)

i am proud! [11 Jul 2003|10:25pm]
[ mood | *beams!* ]
[ music | the all american rejects - swing swing ]

chibi is a good evil kitty. :D i am glad i named him.

(strumming my guitar)

does anyone miss me? [06 Jul 2003|12:39am]
it's surprising what you miss out on when you're learning to do something everyone else learned when they were kids.

(strumming my guitar)

[28 Jun 2003|12:48am]
[gonna be gone for a week.]

(strumming my guitar)

so i guess i'll try. [20 Jun 2003|07:28pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | cibo matto - buttfucker ]

i had the doctor's appointment.
kaoru, you were right. if i lose anymore weight, i most likely will die.
but i don't want that to happen. so now i'll be seeing the doctor weekly along with a psychiatrist and a nutritionist. the first meeting with the psychiatrist was strange and i didn't talk about myself, mostly about my friends and family. i don't know what good that did. the nutrionist is a really nice young woman. i felt really stupid freaking out over food in front of a normal person, but it didn't bother her. she helped me schedule out a plan for the week. going to the grocery store was some scary shit. you all probably think i'm crazy for thinking like that, but it was for me.
now i'm sick as a dog and my gut hates me and this sense of panic keeps welling up inside me, hell, i think even haru-chan thinks i'm going crazy, but other than that i'm okay.
whatever 'okay' is.

(strumming my guitar)

well this sucks. [20 Jun 2003|07:27pm]
Magic Number16
JobMost Hated Person - Ever
PersonalityI'd Quite Like One
TemperamentAngry - At Everthing
Likely To WinA Place On The Bench (For The Reserves)
Me - In A WordSubtle
Brought to you by MemeJack

(2 comments|strumming my guitar)

just a note. [12 Jun 2003|01:52pm]
[ mood | shitty ]
[ music | jack off jill - strawberry gashes ]

i'm not feeling good, so don't be surprised if i don't show up to practice for the next day or two. sorry.

(strumming my guitar)

it's like basic common sense. [09 Jun 2003|05:51am]
[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | veruca salt - pale green ]

everyday before & after practice it seems, there's somebody on my case. did you eat breakfast & did you eat lunch & you should get something to eat at break & what will you have for dinner & do you want to come over and eat & do you want to go out and eat. every. fucking. day. no one listens when i say i'm fine. it's like they've gone deaf when i explain that i simply do not gorge myself. thank god at least one person realizes when i say i am okay, i am telling the fucking truth.

*soft sigh*

on another topic...i don't even know what to say on this topic. i don't know what to do. i don't know what to say. i'm worried. i want to help. but i should keep out, let them handle it. but if i keep out, they won't handle it. i'm so lost. i feel so useless, like an extra part that only gets used when another gets lost. i try to help but i just get in the way. i wish i knew what to do. i wish i wasn't so stupid.

but then, that's my part in the band, isn't it? the loud one, the goofball, scarfing junk food, the jokester, the idiot. that's how i'm treated during interviews. that's how fangirls portray me in their fiction. so it must be true, right?

daisuke ando: stupid immature pig.

that's me.

(1 comment|strumming my guitar)

i keep forgetting to update this thing. o_o; [06 Jun 2003|12:28pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | noriko sakai - koi no bamen ]

well. it's been a while ne. ^^;

i feel like crap. i've been so tired lately. i can't stand up without getting dizzy. i wonder if i'm coming down with something? i hope not. i've got a date with kao tonight, don't wanna miss that. :D he seems a bit off lately too though...whenever we hug, he holds me a long time and runs his hands up and down my back like...like i don't know...like he's looking for something back there. i want to ask him what's wrong, but i don't know what to say...

anyway. practice is in a bit. g2g.

(2 comments|strumming my guitar)

ooc ranting [18 May 2003|01:15am]
EKYO. get yer ass online! or at least tell me when you are on, so we can rp! i have no clue what to do with die. >

(strumming my guitar)

[10 May 2003|11:03pm]
for some strange reason, i have lately been craving ramen, of all things...

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