Pretty In Pain's Journal 9 most recent posts

Date: 2008-09-07 13:53 Subject: You're there Security: Public I know you’re there, The pounding in my chest Resonating, I can’t bring myself to care I lay beneath my night sky Indulge in emptiness, Too restless to let these tears dry A peaceful ache, I know you’re there And for a moment, like you, I cease to be, And from that void, lucidity strikes A day I never thought would dawn I can stop searching Don’t need to hear you respond, I know you’re there.

Clicky Monster

Your sweet voice travels in the dark,
Drowning out distractions
To pierce me softly in the heart,
“I love you, Ali”
A messenger of sincerity,
A peaceful smile sings my love for you
Oh, I know,
I know that in this life
This feeling is the sweetest confession,
True selflessness unveiled to me,
Learning to love you was the ultimate lesson
All taciturn and thought stricken,
I see how loving you has made me wise,
Yet has taken me back to a child-like innocence
A carefree self-knowledge behind my eyes,
I give myself to you,
Heart, soul, and body,
For you never fail my confidence in you,
Your expectant touch only reaffirms my trust,
Oh, I know,
That in this life,
This feeling is the sweetest confession.

I’m nauseas,
Because I’m so afraid,
That our love is dying, slowly,
And these tears are invisible to you,

You grasp my hand and whisper
You love me,
Looking deep inside my soul,
And my heart throbs, unconvinced
Did you feel my spirit reach out to you?
I smiled for you, to hold back my tears,
Why do I feel like I’m falling away,
Why do I feel like you don’t even notice?

(Chorus)
Tear after shameless tear,
Wipe the doubt away,
Cleansing, purging pain
Wash clean the path
To a better tomorrow
That leaves me unburned,
Leaves me loved

I always thought we’d be in love forever,
And it sickens me,
To think our dreams have lied,
Have I changed so much?
Have we changed so much?
I take a breath,
So deeply that I want to scream
My god, what’s wrong with me?
Why do I hurt so much?

(Chorus)
Tear after shameless tear,
Wipe the doubt away,
Cleansing, purging pain
Wash clean the path
To a better tomorrow
That leaves me unburned,
Leaves me loved

Losing ground for hours now,
Lying in bed, trying hard
To let the last tears dry,
But you’re not beside me,
To reassure me,
Because you just don’t notice,
These tears are invisible to you,
But I trust our dreams will carry us,
We’ll be in love forever,
Just promise,
That you’ll dry my tears someday…

Pain is all around,
The room fills with us,
The hopeless, the lost, the broken
The ones who fell,
And hit hard enough to ask for help,
I see your broken faces,
Calling out for love,
Searching the crowd for hope,
I want to reach your soul,
I want to show you hope,

Because tomorrow will be hard,
And the weeks to come,
Might break your spirit down,
But remember, we have hope
When nothing seems to see us through,
We have hope

Another day of aching,
And control is wearing thin,
I wish that I could promise,
That tomorrow you will win,
The truth is,
This road is long and trying,
Some days will test your will,
But I can be your strength,
I’ll tell you it’s ok to hurt today,
And our tears will get you through

Because tomorrow will be hard,
And the weeks to come,
Might break your spirit down,
But remember, we have hope
When nothing seems to see us through,
We have hope

Search yourself for hope,
In the form of strength or love or joy,
That tomorrow might shine through,
You are stronger than you know,
And more found than you are lost,
You can rise from the ashes,
And know yourself again
Asking for help
Is a virtue that is born of weakness,
And delivered of strength,
You have strength,

Because tomorrow will be hard,
And the weeks to come,
Might break your spirit down,
But remember, we have hope
When nothing seems to see us through,
We have hope
© 2008 by A.D.B

(Chorus)
Glistening tears,
Shroud my eyes,
Abandon pain,
Disable fears,
Enable me,
Remember me,

I lie awake,
And try so hard to recall,
(Memory fails)
The last time I wept,
Cared for something real,
(Not a lie)
The last time my breath found me,
Sleeping, resting soundly,
(I lie awake)

(Bridge)
Escape tomorrow,
Lost in today’s sorrow,
You wonder why,
You wonder why,

(Chorus)

I try not to see,
The ghost in place of me,
(It can’t be me)
I just can’t believe,
That this lie fetters me,
(Holds me back)
What have I become?
I can’t go back now
(I try not to see)

(Bridge)
(Chorus)

I’m so far away,
And you never came to see,
(Forgive me)
The truth behind my eyes,
A piece of me you never touched,
(Deep in me)
See you on the other side,
There, we’ll have nothing left to hide,
(I’m so far away)

Remember me…
Remember me…
Remember me…

© 2008 by A.D.B

Fallen;
Angel of respite,
Confined to earth with broken wings,
Resigned to life with broken dreams,
You’re all too much like me,
Enticing, thoughtfully,
The murky corners of my mind,
An effort to convince me,
That I will fly again,
When I’ve spent so much time,
Convincing myself,
That I will only fly in death,

(Chorus x2)
Fallen,
A dream of life,
Can I be saved?
Will you save me tonight?
Fallen angel of respite

A pulsing plea to make you see,
This world is not how it should be,
My mind is broken like your wings,
Tired from trying to fly when,
All that’s left is tattered fragments,
Pieces broken and waiting for someone,
Like you,
To put them back together,
So for a time, you can fly,
I can live,
But all respites have an end,
And we’ll both fall again,

(Chorus x2)

Fallen,
A dream of life.

© 2008 by A.D.B

(Intro)
Screaming, bleeding for the lie
It’s not enough to cry
I’m forever bleeding

(Verse)
I tried to see myself like you do
My eyes are tired of the lie
You run through my veins
Just could never feel you there, so I bleed
Release the thickest crimson tears
To remind me of you.

(Chorus)
You hold me up in your sky
A star that you prize
I can’t be your lie
So I bleed my tears away
I’m forever healing

(Verse)
An open lie that turns a crimson tide
Plead with me to love my lying soul
I have no more love to give
So I bleed for the lie
Forever healing
I pick the scabs of my past

(Chorus)
You hold me up in your sky
A star that you prize
I can’t be your lie
So I bleed my tears away
I’m forever healing

(Verse)
Forever bleeding in your wake
In my lost sorrow’s name
Let my eyes turn from the lie
And see my true self
I can’t see my true self

(Verse/out)
No more love to give,
No more blood to run
My open eyes can close the lies
I know my true self
I’m forever healing

© 2008 by A.D.B

I left you behind
I thought I was free
But here you are
Haunting me

Get out of my mind
I have no words for you
And I don’t believe you can save me
Not this time
I can feel now, without you, my vice
I’m done bleeding, leave me

I left you behind
I thought I was free
But here you are
Haunting me

Indulge one last time, my vice
I won’t be keeping you
It’s not me, anymore
I left her long ago
But you still hunger for her
Have I not bled enough?

I left you behind
I thought I was free
But here you are
Haunting me

Not weak, or tired this time
You don’t have to try
‘Cause I know now, I don’t need you
You won’t pull me back there again
You are dead to me, my vice
Don’t try to save me

© 2008 by A.D.B

My hopes,
A ghost of her dreams,
Hide behind my eyes,
Cleverly disguised,
Her lonely soul wanders now,
In shattered solitude,
She has nothing left to prove,
Locked herself among her sorrow,
To escape the lies that stole her dreams away,
She's had so much pain to pay,
Her tears conceal relief, all placid in their waltz,
My lonely hopes mourn her dying soul,
Her breath ceases, to accept a tranquil fate,
Sickened by the stillness of her tears,
Her eyes reflect the pain of her lost dream,
Though her stare seems quizzically serene,
My tears sing the sweetest restful requiem,
Her smile cries the darkest, dreamless lies,
The empty, fruitless lies,
My hopes and dreams,
Lay in her eyes,
Her final lullaby.

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