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[07 Feb 2003|04:09pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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music |
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cigarette song- all american rejects |
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man, i'm bored. there's absolutely nothing to do. i was thinking about starting on my homework...but i decided against it..lol....i'm a procrastinator..i gotta work on that..at least i'm becoming...or attempting to be more patient. i hate being so curious sometimes... like when someone sends you an email, you know those "ecrush" things? ugh..i hate those..but i always try it out cuz i want to know who sent it to me. i always mess up and end up never being able to figure out. argh... yeah...my day was interesting. i think i'm getting somewhere with this sonata. i'm not sure if i wrote what i'm gonna do with my future in here... hmm i'll write it in my next entry if i didn't...i just dont' know what to name my store.. any ideas, world?
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| did shakespeare invent sadness and pain as well? |
[06 Feb 2003|09:00pm] |
i feel so bad for jake. he described his life, and it sux. i wish i could help him so much. if i could, i'd paste the conversation he and i had in here, but i can't. he lives so far away it seems. and i like him so much, and it seems like there's nothing i can do to help. i'd do anything to help jake. this girl is spreading rumors around the school saying he's the father of her child, but he's not. but he says his parents would believe that he was if the girl's parents told his parents that. jake hasn't ever done any of that stuff. i really really like jake, i'm a little afraid to like him so much since it seems i just got out of a relationship. i know i'm young, i dont' know why i feel so strongly about someone, but i do. my former relationship ended about 2 months ago and i feel as if i'm trying to rush into a relationship. i want a relationship, cuz i like jake so much, but what's right? i can't make him get in a relationship. i don't want to just rush into something. jake was hurt badly by his former gfs. i dont' want him to be hurt again. i know i can't exactly control that, but ....oh i don't know. i just know i really like jake. i don't want to rush into anything. he's not ready for a relationship and i don't think i am either. i just want him to be happy. if he's not happy with me..well..at least he's happy. aaah, i feel i'm just blabbering about anything and everything now. i kinda lost the point to my entry...it's jake..i know that...my feelings just keep getting in the way of everything. i know i've mentioned jake in all of my entries so far...i hope you don't find me annoying world. i don't try to be. i just want to live my life. and right now, jake's a part of it.
today was interesting. i was able to practice my cello and talk to jake for awhile. he's so amazing. i could talk to him forever. i'm nervous about the upcoming competition...ok..not nervous...eager yet anxious at the same time...i think i have a good chance at state...but i'm not sure if i can get a one there...i want the best score...a 1 at state is hard...but i think i can do it. if not this year, next year.hmmm......i want the best for jake...i want to be with him, but i just want him to do what he feels is right. he said he wants a relationship, but he can't...i understand why...i just wish he could have a relationship.
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| my mood ring looks like a sunset |
[06 Feb 2003|03:52pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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whisper- Evanescence |
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talk about weird...that dream i had with the guy i described in there could have actually been one of my friends online, named jake...the guy in my dream reminded me of him so i just automatically called him jake. well turns out jake wears contacts..hasn't worn glasses since 7th grade. so it could have been him in my dream even tho i 've never seen a pic of him, but he's told me what he looks like. but jake is so sweet. he used to live here too, but he moved in the summer. i wonder if i ever met him...that'd be awesome if i had. i'm starting to become proud of myself. i'm starting to be more patient with others. this girl was really getting on my nerves and she was telling me to dump jake so she could hook up with him and how i'm standing in the way of him and her. she only wants him for his looks and his social status. that reallly made me mad, but..i stayed calm and i told him calmly that she should like someone for their personality, not for their looks. she laughed at me and said " this is highschool. come on, really." she just has no idea... i've never seen a pic of jake, never met him ( to my knowledge anyway) and i don't care if he's popular or not. i like him for his personality. i think that's what really matters. so yeah, anyway about the title...my mood ring lookes like a sunset. it was read,pink,purple and orange. i guess i'm really bored or something if i keep looking at my ring. argh... my day went really slowly..well until i started talking to jake, then he signed off...now i'm bored again. i think i might actually start on my homework? nah..lol...i'll practice my cello. i want to get a 1 at state... i hope i do. i'm playing sonata in c major by J.B. Breval the first movement...it's cool.
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| this is the dream i get for sleeping in |
[06 Feb 2003|10:47am] |
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mood |
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surprised |
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music |
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radio |
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man, when i sleep-in i have the weirdest dreams. last night, in my dream this is what all happened. my mom and i were driving on this road and we kept on going for a really long time. when we stopped we went inside this building that's an apartment building with an inside gym and all these rooms and everything. my mom starts talking to this lady and she has a lot of boxer puppies. so my mom and i want to get one. she said she wasn't supposed to have as many as her dog had had so she hid them around the building. so i go and look for one in a room and there was a puppy ( that was so small you could fit in both your hands) ...in the trash can. not to be thrown away, just hidden. and i come out and i'm on a different side of the building and this guy is looking at me drinking whiskey ( i think it was that cuz i seemed to know what it was in my dream) and he gave me the bottle. i'm holding it far away from me and i'm all " i don't drink" and i threw it away. that made him a bit mad so he storms off. then i turn around to get the puppy again and there turns out to be 2 puppies but they're growing up really fast. and then this guy that looked about a year older than me asks if i need some help. so he helps me out a bit by taking one of the puppies to this room on the other side of the building. we're walking through the gym basically dragging the puppies ( i'm holding one in front ofo my but it's huge and the hind legs are basically walking so i dont know why i was carrying it the best i could) and that guy who gave me the bottle is blocking a door saying you can only pass if y ou give him a dollar. so the other guy ( i'll call him....jake). so jake and i turn to another door and walk towards it and this girl is blocking the door saying she's protesting that he shouldn't make people give him a dollar in order to get out that door. but she won't move. somehow i get on the other side of the door, i dont' remember how. and jake i get the puppies to the other room. but there's more puppies. he and i are looking at a picture that he drew that was on a table. it was this plan to get all the puppies through without those people blocking the doors. everything looked medieval so i asked him if he liked that time period. he nodded. ( i'll tell you what jake looks like really fast before i continue. he's taller than me, green eyes, brown hair and glasses). jake turns towards me and all of a sudden i just kiss him on the lips. then i kiss him again. that's where i woke up. it was a weird dream.
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