Okay, this may seem weird, but i have this endless passion for these guys at my school that i think its going to my head. first of all, theres this kid jason that i love. i dream about times that i spend with him, hanging out, sex, even marriage. its crazy. i want it to stop. i want all of my crushes to stop. its rediculous. why cant i control my feelings? i always thought i was the master of that, but apparently not. i cant even control my heart. what is up with me? why am i so malfunctionate? ugh.
i have odd dreams with jason. i dream that we are going out at school, and its perfect. we never fight. the sex is great. we love each other. no one else is gay so he cant be cheating on me. AAAAHHHHH! i love having these dreams, but i cant do anything about them. after all, theyre just dreams.
i want to cry. i seriously cant take it anymore. i feel like a complete faggy loser. i am. i should stop. i have to go. i dont feel good anymore.