Blurty for Amanda.

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Saturday, February 14th, 2004

Time:9:57 pm.
...I try to save myself, but myself keeps slipping away.

I think I read into things too much. Not like, if someone says I look nice I automatically wonder "What, so you think I look like crap any other day?" More like.. well.. I don't know. I read Jeff's LJ today and it had a list of things that have been pissing him off. Well, you know what? Some of the stuff he said I can prove he does himself. Some I wonder if he's talking about me. Because I automatically, always, figure that when someone has a complaint they're talking about me. It gets back to me being afraid that people say shit behing my back/don't really like me.

That reminds me, I am such a loser for worrying. LOL If he has a problem with me, he can deal. :)
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Time:12:20 am.
Broken
Broken
Nothings turned out the way you wanted it to,
everything is in pieces. As you struggle to
try and put everything back together again,
something always comes along and scatters them
once again. You're only one step away from
getting on The Downward Spiral


Which NIN era are you?
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Friday, February 13th, 2004

Time:11:05 am.
Mood: sad.
I don't know what to think.

I finally decided to start a blurty acct because the entire reason for having journals is to get things off your chest. (At least for me.) But it always seems that I add people that I have to watch my mouth around. (Or hands, whatever you'd rather.) Anyhow, this is scarily similar to livejournal. Hmmm. Now for the entry:



Today I found out some news about one of my oldest friends that I just.. can't handle. My heart has been broken so many times trying to help her, and I think I'm going to just give up. I lost one friend because she decided that she needed to date a pot-head loser that she was always scared he'd get high and screw someone else if she wasn't around... so she's no longer around anyone else. Now Ashleigh, the other friend, is starting to snort cocaine. She knows I'm uncomfortable with druggies. I can just picture her lying on the floor of her bedroom bleeding from either wrist stoned out of her mind.. Fuck it. Die if you want to Ash. I get your point: I can't help you. You don't want me. FUCK YOU.
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Blurty for Amanda.

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