Amanda's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] Amanda [ website | Kissed by Serendipity ] [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

Who puts slugs in a parking meeter, honestly! [24 Sep 2003|07:03pm] [ mood | bitchy ] [ music | Come On Over - C. Aguilera ] First of all I wanna say Happy 28th to my friend Mike Perez! :) Karen: Hi! You always have your away message on so I can't really talk to you. :) We gotta go clubbin soon! :) School was great actually. I had legal ethics and our teacher's husband (who's also a lawyer) came in and talked about the Unauthorized Practice of Law. He was so much better than our normal teacher! Haha. Our normal teacher, Rose, only reads out of the book, never strays away and if she does its only for a minute max, she doesn't joke around but her husband, Bob, is the total opposite! It's so crazy. We had such a good class. He didn't just read out of the book, in fact, we only read out of it to do closing review exersises and even then it was directly read. He was telling us about what a lawyer can be DeBARed for (License taken away for good.) and he goes "There was this one lawyer who was debared for putting slugs in a parking meeter!" Well I was no good. I laughed histarically for like ten minutes. Haha. Honestly, who shoves slugs in a parking meeter but what made it even funnier was the fact that he lost his law license for it!! Hahahahahaha. How many people can say "Yeah I know a guy who shoved slugs in a parking meeter." How did he get them in there? Did he shove them in the quarter slot or what? It's mind boggeling! So now in that class I'm gonna be wondering about that instead of listening now I can't look at parking meeters the same! Haha, you won't either! But he also was discussing Common Law and he goes "No one really practiced law in the middle ages, it was like you stole my pig I'll beat you with a club!" I thought it was so funny of course, it doesn't take much. (Haha.) So yeah. Then I'm driving to my mom's work to pick up money and there's this van of 3 Mexican dudes to my right. So I look over and it was like "hello, hello, hello!!!" Haha. And they all had this goofy smile on their faces and all waved. I mean come on jackasses. (P.S. Lauren: I know the Mexican deal, I have it too! haha.) Don't even get me started on the Spanish language. ITS SO ANNOYING!! Haha. Talked to Kevin yesterday. *Giggles* I've never been so smittened. I know, Ed but this is worse. I mean Kevin is the only guy since Ed who has remained consistant in personality and he's so great. I'm in a bad mood though and I dont know why! :/ post comment

Doing a lot of this lately... [21 Sep 2003|01:48pm] [ mood | blank ] Work. Geez. I work the entire floor by myself, I have to straighten things and put things back and I do. But I get told its a mess. What? Umm, I told Amy that and she was like "It is not a mess!" I told the person who told me "Look, I'm here by myself on the floor working from front to back cleaning the store, letting people in fitting rooms. I can only do so much." I'm one person. I can't keep an eye on everything. But they act like if a pair of pants is out of place the whole store is going to shut down so we can put it back. Dramatic much? It's not a hard job and I like it it's just some people I'd rather not work with. I cannot work the whole store on a Friday/Saturday/Sunday without help. There's too much going on. Yesterday I said fuck it, open the dressing rooms and let people go in and out. They steal? Not my problem b/c I have to straighen the floor and I can't keep an eye on both. Get someone else like before to do the fitting rooms and I'll do the floor and it'll be fine. I mean there are 3 cashiers at the front standing around, um hello? Instead of yelling my name to let them into a dressing room, cant you take 10 seconds to do so? Especially when there's someone not ringing someone up. Havn't seen or talked to Kevin lately b/c he's been working like crazy. I'm gonna watch the game today. :) Last weeks game was awesome!! Okay, so here's another survey thing but I have nothing else better to do! :) ten movies you own: 1. Legally Blonde 2. Weekend At Burnies 3. Original Sin 4. Waynes World 5. Tomb Raider 6. Gia 7. Serendipity 8. Abandon 9. Clerks 10. What About Bob? ten cds you own: 1. Stripped 2. Christina's self titled 3. Britney 4. La Bella Mafia 5. Notorias KIM 6. Tidal 7. Every Mariah Carey Cd 8. Christina's Christmas 9. Jessica Simpson's (all 3) 10. Les Nubians five men you'd like to screw: 1. Colin Farrell 2. Paul Walker 3. Colin Farrell 4. Kevin 5. Colin Farrell five women you wish you were: 1. Christina Aguilera 2. Jennifer Aniston 3. Angelina Jolie 4. Lil Kim 5. Mariah Carey last two movies you have seen in the theatres: 1. Uptown Girls 2. SWAT two recent movies you want to see: 1. Dickie Roberts 2. Cold Creek Manor three movies you need to buy: 1. How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days 2. Unfaithful 3. Clueless three bands/groups you have seen in concert: 1 None 2. 3. three bands/groups you want to see really badly: 1. Chrisina Aguilera/Justin Timberlake 2. Mariah Carey 3. Lil Kim name all of the states you have been in: New York, West Virgina, South Carolina, Flordia, Michigan, Virginia top five places you'd like to live: 1. LA 2. NYC 3. Boston 4. Paris 5. London top three dream jobs: 1. fashion designer 2. photographer 3. writer five stores you could spend a million dollars at: 1. Victoria's Secret 2. Fredrick's of Hollywood 3. Venus 4. New York and Co. 5. Old Navy Hi!| Hey |How are you?| Alright |What time is it where you are?| 2:20 p, |Name?| Amanda |Gender?| Female |Age?| 18 |Have a website?| yeah |Sexiest man ever?| Famous: Colin Farrell / Unfamous: Kevin |Sexiest woman ever?| Angelina Jolie |Do you like your breasts?| Yeah |Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?| Yes |Are you thinking fantastically dirty thoughts about me?| No |How tall are you?| 5'4'' |Give me a book, movie, CD, and song recommendation. Or more than one, if you feel like it.| Book: White Oleander / Movie: Gia / CD: Stripped |Read Harry Potter?| Harry Potter sucks |Favorite character/ship (HP or other)?| What? |Do you read fanfiction? What fandoms?| What? |Do you like slash?| Haha, not really |Opinion on religion?| To each his own |What's *your* religion?| No dead set one, I believe in God |How do you feel about toesocks?| Ugly pieces of shit |Yes or no?| yes |Sexual orientation?| Straight |What could you never tell your parents?| Nothing |What is your favorite memory?| I don't know |What is your biggest phobia?| Dark |If you had to choose, would you rather be deaf or blind?| deaf |Paper or plastic?| Paper |If you could squash yourself into one stereotype, what would it be?| Happy |What countries have you been to?| France, England |If you were a member of the X-men, what would your super-power be?| Storm ||Favorite song lyric?| Too many |Tell me a secret.| no. |Early to bed and early to rise...| Sometimes |Are you a good liar?| kinda |What do you think of Abercrombie & Fitch?| Never been so don't have one |Read Johnny the Homicidal Maniac?| no |Have any gay/lesbian friends?| Had a gay friend |How do you feel about homophobes?| Grow up |Opinion on abortion?| Pro-choice |If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?| I want green eyes |What's your favorite accent?| Brittish |Are you on antidepressents?| Yeah |Tell me a joke.| Theres a new pirate movie out...its rated RRRRRRR |Everyone knows most people are...| Not what you expect them to be |What's your favorite salad dressing?| Italian |Vous-parlez francais?| Oui. Et toi? |Is there a song or a CD or something that you strongly associate with a certain event in your life?| Walk Away - Christina Aguilera |Do you do the time warp? If so, how often?| What |How have you changed in the past two years?| Yes 1 comment|post comment

Flooding [19 Sep 2003|09:41pm] [ mood | hot ] [ music | Can't Hold Us Down - C.Aguilera ] Went to work today...bleh. I hate it when a group of 12 kids come in with their mom and they run around and yell. The mom's yell "What you doin'? Siddown! Shut it up!" Ugghhh!! Keep your kids home assholes! J.J. came in today. :) Scared the shit out of me when I was organizing the jewerly. Haha. I have to go into tomorrow as well. No Bohagers tomorrow since its a swimming pool! Haha. That would be interesting...I'd do in a white tank top, no bra, short black skirt and fuck me boots!! Haha. Sexy. Hmm...maybe someone would enjoy that. I went swimming in Ed's white tank top before...interesting reaction. He was suprised I went under water, haha. I'm not that inhabitted. Haha. *oH, bEhAvE* Movin right along... School is okay. Had my first test the other day in Legal Ethics. Was shorted than I had expected since it wasw based on two chapters of two books. It was only a full page (front and back) It's so crazy how much flooding is in the city!! Crazy... Well I'm off...cya flattah, kids. You Should Get a Word Tattoo! Whether it's "sexy," "bitch," or "supergirl" You've got something you want your tat to say And that's cool - it will probably still be true when you're 60! What Tattoo Should You Get? You Are A Tongue Piercing You're extremely oral (like you didn't know that! You love going down... on girls or guys! You're not one to be too naughty in public You like to save it all for the bedroom. What Piercing Are *You*? You Are Stripping You're totally hot - and it gets you off to show you stuff. Luckily, you get your partner off in the process! From lap dances to walking in high heels, you act like a A level stripper. You've got enough class to make your stripping style sexy - and not skanky You're more like Demi Moore from Striptease... than Elizabeth Berkeley in Showgirls. And while you may have what it takes to rake in $1000 a night, you're too classy to go pro. What Kind of Foreplay Are *You*? post comment

Random Things of Me [Five- Nicki & Quizes) [18 Sep 2003|10:48pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | Slave - Britney Spears ] ***LIST*** 1. I spoke to Kevin today. :) *Giggles* He works for BGE so yeah, he's working 20 hours starting at midnight. 2. Christopher is sick... :( I hope he gets better. 3. Isabel rocks my socks, she closed CCBC. 4. Thinking about writing some songs for a CD...I need a piano player. 5. Praying I don't have to work tomorrow. ***NOTE WORTHY*** I'm getting my hair cut like: Five details about you... [x] i'm 18 [x] i'm in college [x] i'm single [x] i work at new york and company [x] c/o 03 Five details about your appearance right now... [x] olive colored shirt [x] black spandex pants [x] hair down [x] blue flowered bra [x] "kiss me, i'm yours" thongs Five things you did today... [x] slept [x] ate [x] bid on e-bay [x] talked to my older brother [x] played cards with my mom and ms darlene Five things you will do tomorrow... [x] wake up [x] shower [x] eat [x] watch tv [x] study Five memorable things you did in the last year... [x] life with mother superior and jakes women [x] ocean city with ed (it was fun then) [x] went to bohagers for the first time [x] realized i have friends outside of school who think im awesome!! [x] saw kevin outside with his dog... Five things that everyone should know about you... [x] i'm happy [x] i have friends who are well in their 20's. (Jamie, Jason, Mike, Mikie, Annie etc) [x] i love christina aguilera [x] i dance on the platforms at bohagers haha [x] i dont know... Five favorite groups/singers... [x] christina aguilera [x] britney spears [x] lil kim [x] justin timberlake [x] mariah carey Five favorite movies... [x] weekend at burnies [x] legally blonde [x] gia [x] serendipity [x] uptown girls Five things that make you happy... [x] kevin [x] sleeping [x] clubs [x] family [x] dogs Five people who mean a lot to you who you've known for a long time... [x] mom [x] dad [x] steve [x] ryan [x] alicia Five things that disgust you... [x] high school [x] mtv [x] cheese [x] metallica [x] crickets Five things that impress you... [x] confidence [x] independence [x] kids learning [x] military personalle [x] colin farrell ***QUIZES*** Lion King! What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!) brought to you by Quizilla Congratulations, you're New Orleans, the wild city. What US city are you? Take the quiz What Kind of Bra Are You?More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva Everyone remembers the 'faked-orgasm-in-a-deli' sequence from your kind of movie When Harry Met Sally. It seems that you're falling for a buddy or have already fallen for them. Uh-oh. You're probably caught between the possibility of having a great relationship and wrecking the one you have now. You know what they say, it's better to regret something you did than something you didn't do. What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life? brought to you by Quizilla You're Exotic Dancer Barbie. You have some moves, and will do anything for a few bucks. Take it off girl, but keep it PG-13 please. If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?brought to you by Quizilla post comment

Seven - from Karen [17 Sep 2003|02:39pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | With You - Jessica Simpson ] 7 things you love 1) family 2) my dogs 3) laughing 5) sleeping 6) cuddeling 7) clothes 7 things you hate 1) getting up early 2) bad english/grammer. (i.e you're v. your) 3) metalica 4) immature girls who think being dumb is sexy 5) people who don't use blinkers 6) the phone ringing and ringing... 7) cheese 7 things on your computer desk 1) laptop 2) san fransico cup of pens 3) candles 4) note pads 5) post its 6) fairy figurines 7) law dictionary 7 facts about you 1) i am studying to be a paralegal 2) i want to work with people who have AIDS 3) i love to work out 4) i want to do acting again soon 5) i love christina aguilera and angelina jolie 6) i understand and love football 7) weekend at burnies is my favorite movie 7 things you can do 1) drive 2) play flute 3) sing 4) make a fart noise with my palms, and my armpit (my brothers can't! haha.) 5) relate every situation to friends, seinfeld or a movie. 6) throw a football correctly 7) wipe my own ass 7 things you can't do 1) save money 2) intentionally hurt someone 3) lie well 4) roll my tongue 5) make myself puke...i tried in school but it never works! 6) not take a nap half way through the day 7) drink more than 3 tripple blacks without getting a little tipsy 7 famous people you want to meet 1) jim carrey 2) christina aguilera 3) angelina jolie 4) colin farrell 5) conan o'brien 6) fiona apple 7) brittany murphy top 7 things you say the most 1) that too 2) whatnot 3) yup 4) sparky 5) dude 6) yes 7) no 7 bands/artists you love. 1) christina aguilera 2) mariah carey 3) lil kim 4) justin timberterd (haha) 5) fiona apple 6) staind 7) the temptations 7 objects you love 1) laptop 2) cds 3) dvds 4) my car 5) tv 6) cell phone 7) bank card 7 things you want to learn 1) to cook 2) speak fluent french 3) play guitar 4) yoga 5) eat better 6) how to swing dance 7) how to country line dance 7 foods/drinks you have all the time 1) water 2) spaghetti 3) ice tea 4) rice 5) soup 6) sandwiches 7) rice crispies 7 random thoughts 1) i want to watch ed, edd and eddy and dexter's labortory 2) it's nice outside 3) i hope isabel hits so i dont have to go to school :) 4) i hope christopher liked his birthday gift (a Ray Lewis football jersey.) 5) come on, kevin 6) is bryan going to call....? nahhh 7) i have to pee KAREN CALL ME SO WE CAN GO CLUBBIN' HAHA *************************************************** October 29th is Chris's birthday, Kevin's son. So I bought him a Ravens jersey. Kevin loved it. He gave me a big hug and thanked me. He's like "He's going to love this, thanks so much. We were actually looking for one this weekend." and he gave me a huge hug. :) Soon, I hope, soon. Waiting sucks but I know it'll be worth it...Well I better head back to my dad's and do some homework. College...blah. post comment

Sorry So Long [13 Sep 2003|01:01pm] [ mood | working ] [ music | Sexy Lil Thug - Beyonce's version of In Da Club ] It's been a few days since I've written in here. Wow. Not much has been going on. Dated a few guys that went no where. Mr. Money-Bags, Mr. Woe-Is-Me etc. Haha. I actually talked to Bryan the other night. Haha. We're supposed to hang out today but I gotta call him? Should I? Maybe. I'm also supposed to hang out with Kevin and Chris sometime today then off to Bohagers! :) I found a club partner! Amy (a girl I work with, yey!) Haha. Last night I played Poker with Mike, Ray and Ray's mom. I got a little tipsy. Haha. I'm a light weight: 3 Tripple Blacks. I had a head ache when I got up this morning but I took some Excedren and I'm all good now. Haha. I havn't drank since the sex toy party. Speaking of which, Heather is getting married today!! :) Congrats Heather and Dave. :) Well I better get back to doing my homework...bleh. post comment

Meranda [02 Sep 2003|03:19pm] [ mood | silly ] [ music | I Think I'm In Love - Jessica Simpson ] Work: I don't think I mentioned but I have a job now. New York and Company at Eastpoint Mall. :) The best thing happened yesterday at work. I was letting people into the fitting rooms when I see Heather. (Ed's sister) We started talking and she said Ms. Bernadette was in the car. So I took a quick break and went to see her. She saw me, had a huge smile on her face and says "Hi honey!" and Heather says "Look who I found!" Hehe. Ms. Bernadette says "We miss you so much coming over." I said "Well things happen." She said "Yeah, he's a jerk. He treated you bad. He's a butt-head." Heather: "With a capital B." Haha. Then Ms. B says "Call me tomorrow after 4:00 so you can stop by and pick up the prom pictures that Kelly took. I'll make sure he's not there." I told her if I do call he'll know my voice so I'll use an accent and be Meranda. Haha. Then she had to go b/c she was parked in a fire lane haha. So I'm going to call her today...it'll be sooo strange hanging out with her tonight or whenever but I hope Ed doesn't come home. I like them so much and I'm glad I saw them again and now I can keep in touch with them at least a little. Kevin: Wow. Had the most amazing night with him last night. Well I was on my porch dropping Ryan off at my mom's, talking to her and Ms. Darlene. Well my mom says "There's Kevin across the street." Well he goes to his gate and I go "Psst!" Haha. He goes "Hey you!" All happy hehe. I said "What are you doing?" He says "What do you think, getting home." I said "Duh I mean what are you doing, are you busy?" He said "No." I said "Can I come up and hang out and bug you?" He says "Of course!" Hehe. So I went up. We talked a bit. Well us happened to come up. I asked how he felt about me. He said "I still like you I just can't show it b/c that would be leading you to believe I'm ready and I'm not. Do you still like me?" I said "Duh! Hello? Yes I like you." Haha. So I couldn't resist anymore, I had to kiss him. Then I grabbed his arm, took him up to his room and we just started kissing. I love how he kisses when he grabs my hair and ugh. He's so sexy. He pulls his shirt up and says "Where are those nails?" And I started scratching his chest and stomach and he was going crazy. Haha. After about a minute he took his shirt off and I had more access. Haha. So when I left, I kissed him on the cheek, hugged him and wrote him a note. I wrote how I felt about him that I can't stop thinking about him and I can wait til things settle down but I've been crazy about him since I first saw him and I still am. Etc...etc...etc. So, yeah. We'll see. I "played" Madden 2004. I have no idea how to use the PS controler...the X, the square, triangle and I don't know! Haha. Well the play screen came up and he said "Pick one." So I closed my eyes and hit one. Haha. He started cracking up. Then he sits on the chair I'm leaning against on the floor. After a few plays of me running around diving for no reason, haha, he grabs it and plays it with his arms around me sort of. Then of course he tackled me to the ground, got Poe barking haha. But geez I'm so crazy about him... post comment

Ugh...boys [29 Aug 2003|12:47am] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Love Is A Battle Field - Pat Benatar ] I wish I was in a 4 year college. Everyone I know is in their dorm, all excited and I'm just at a community college. It's such a slap in the face to work so hard and no one wants you b/c of SAT scores...everything else was great. 3.5 GPA, good recomendations, great essay...nothing. It's annoying but what can you do? I'm most likely going to transfer out of state. I am so sick of the same old shit here. I want to meet new people from different places. Bryan: Yeah thats done. Why? Don't ask me, I don't know! Haha. Kevin: Great! :) We've been spending time together, I hope things are going to change soon...not sure. Hi to MadBob-Dan :) I've been so lonely lately. I have no one to talk to. I called Dominic but he acts like he doesn't know me. Yeah, thanks a lot. Oh fuckin' well. When I say I have no one I literly mean like 3 people max. No woe-is-me I'm just sad. People say they'll call me back to do stuff but no one does. I make the effort but no one makes the effort for me. I no longer speak to Ed. Not even a hello. Nothing. Easier than I thought it would be... :) Got a job. New York & Company at Eastpoint mall. :) $7/hour and working with Cartwright. I start tomorrow. 2-9:30 tomorrow and Saturday. College starts Sept. 3rd. I'm excited but I do with I was in a dorm right now like everyone else. Rented The Hours and Things You Can Tell Just By Looking At Her. Had a movie night...by myself of course. No one is around anymore. People just keep dissapearing. Mike called me today. I basically told him I just like him as a friend...he's 10 years older than me! I don't want to date a guy that much older. 6 is the max and even that was pushing it. Thought I had a good guy with an 18 year old named Bryan...nope. Wrong! Theyre all the same. Its true: All friends act a like. Ravens lost :( At least its only pre-season. :) Come on, boys! You can do ieght!! Well I better get to bed. I'm going to the gym tomorrow morning at 10:00. Cya, kids. post comment

The moments before it rains [26 Aug 2003|04:44pm] [ mood | exanimate ] The moments before it rains is so quiet yet loud. The wind is loud, the clouds even seem to scream at you. You know its coming but you still think it will just pass. It never passes. I comes and without warning strikes a tree or a child. With a soft whisper then its gone. You close your windows or roll up the ones of your car to prevent any stray drops entering, yet at least one drop does. Vanishes into air moments later....Kind of like love. post comment

Alone [25 Aug 2003|08:13pm] [ mood | sad ] 1. I'll call you back when I get out of the shower :: translation :: I'm really going out with my friends and I won't call you back for a few days. 2. I don't want a relationship or I'm not ready to settle down yet :: translation :: I don't want a relationship with you or I don't want to settle down with you. I'm scared, alone, frustrated, mistified, confused, angry, lost...etc...etc...etc. Dan is in 3/4 law classes at D.C.C. What if I meet someone? They'll all think I'm with him. How can you go from medical major to, confiently, a paralegal major? I meet a guy and he kind of scares him off. He scared off Bryan at the wedding. Bryan was supposed to drive me from the church to the Del Capri, well him and Dan were kind of "arguing" over who was going to take me there and I of course went with Bryan. He had to take his mom somewhere and told me he'd be back. Needless to say, he never came back, didn't answer his cell phone. I talked to his mom, they did go out, he told her he was coming back with me but instead left with his friends. She said "I don't condone this on his part, I'm so sorry he did this to you. I'd call him and leave him a nasty message and tell him to go you know where." Well I heard that and started crying but hid it so she couldn't tell. And I've only spoken like 10 sentences to him since Saturday. I wasn't crying b/c I liked him, I was crying b/c another one was gone. I'm so sick and tired of being treated this way but there's nothing I can do about it. I'm thinking about going to a movie by myself just to get out and away. I don't know... :*( post comment

infatuated [25 Aug 2003|07:06pm] [ mood | curious ] [ music | Make Over - Christina Aguilera ] I can't stop thinking about him. I see him and I want so much to touch him one more time. I know he needs time but I can't help it. He makes me feel so vulnerable whenever I'm near him. He's so increadably sexy...strong...muscular...He makes me want to do all the things I was told not to. I don't know what it is about him but there's something within him that I want. I'm totally infatuated with this man that I find myself tossing and turning at night thinking about him. I find myself leaving my cell phone at home when I go out so I won't be tempted to call him. I remember the night we laid in his bed, I kissed him, he kissed me. He is soo passionate when he kisses. Grabbing my hair tightly and rubbing his hands down my back to my waist, to my thighs. I want him to come around soon. I can't help my infatuation... He's increadable. It's like I'm on a drug and whener I see or talk to him, I'm satisfied. I find myself being so infatuated with him that I see him outside with his shirt off and I melt. I am always thinking about him, wondering what he's doing and I can't help it. I'm not obsessed just curious, infatuated, longing. He's physically everything I could possibly want. Six pack, pecks, large wide shoulders, big arms, nice legs. Emotionally, he's almost everything. He told me how he felt about me but I now feel like I have to pry him open like a crab shell to get out what he's thinking. I want to dig into his soul and find out who he is...I'm so fasinated. He's so mysterious and that's what's so infatuating about him. He's hiding behind something and I don't know what... post comment

I'm free [20 Aug 2003|01:26pm] [ mood | relieved ] [ music | Prisoner - Mariah Carey ] I don't know how or why I wasted so much time the past 5 months. Things seemed so perfect and the key word is seemed. He seemed like everything I had been looking for. Thought he treated me well, thought he thought I was great when in reality I was basically used for what I don't know. Arm Candy. The past 5 months was like trying to pour a glass of water in a spaghetti strainer, you get nothing out of it no matter how much you put in. (I made that up myself, haha.) I found myself trying to change who I was in order to make him happy when in reality he needed to change somethings to make me happy. I wasn't changing that, for example, I needed to let him go out more. I changed the way I was as a person sometimes. I'd hide from my negative feelings toward him b/c he never respected that side of me. He wanted all the fun and nothing else. A relationship comes with the good and the bad. Told me he didn't want a relationship or to settle down: underlying message: he didn't want a relationship with me, he didn't want to settle down with me. Had he told me that, I would have been able to move on a lot faster than wasting a month trying to get him back. I put up with more shit than I normally would and if I could go back in time and talk to myself, I would have gotten out lot sooner. So many obvious things: talking about his ex-s, looking at other girls etc. A guy who is serious about you doesn't do those things. I mean yeah everyone talks about ex-s, but he did it like he was getting paid for it. Its not my fault that she's so irristable, but all the damage she's caused is unfixable Every 20 seconds you repeat her name but when it comes to me you dont care if I'm alive or dead I was supposed to go to Bohagers last night but decided not to. Here's sort of why, not bad though hehe. Well my dad got home, started being a dick so I went to my mom's. I called Bryan to see if he was going to Bohagers and he said no so that was one person I wanted to go who wasn't. Dominic didn't get off til almost 10:00 and Mike never called who was my ride. Well Bryan asked where I lived (he lives down the street basically) and he told me he was riding his motorcycle and he wanted to stop by. I said yes. Well as I was going outside to wait, Christen pulls up in her car. Yey. Well I walked over and then Kevin calls my name. (He was moeing the lawn.) He said it in such a way that I thought I did something wrong. He's like "Amanda, come here." I was like "What did I do?" He goes "Nothing." He thought Christen was someone else. So we chatted a bit, asked him how things were going and all. Havn't really talked to him in a while. So I went back to Christen, we talked a bit. She pulled away and Bryan pulled up. We talked for a while, invited him as my date for the wedding and he said yes but he'll let me know for sure today. Then he left to drop the bike off to the new owner. (He sold that one and baught a new one.) I went back in, called Kevin and he goes "I'm in the shower..call back." Haha. So I called back about a 1/2 hour later and I asked to hang out, he said sure. So we talked, hung out and of all things 2 guys called by cell phone. He thought Bryan was Ed and he goes "Good, if that was him I'd kick your ass." Haha. Kevin doesn't know Ed but he told me that I had to promise not to get back together with him b/c I deserved better, which I did just I was dumb. Anyway, we spent about an hour or so together, hung out. Then I called Bryan back (he was one of the 2) and he asked if he could come over again. He did and stayed about 1 hour and 1/2. My mom likes him and Disco didn't bark at him, always a good sign. Disco is my screening process. He barked at all the guys who broke my heart or who were assholes and didn't bark at those who treated me well and ended up as good friends or a long term relationship. Only didn't bark at Dan and Vince that I can remember. Bryan's going to call me today and we may do something. Things with Dan are getting rough. I feel like I can't be in a relationship with anyone but him or else I feel like I'm cheating on him. He wants to get back together so bad but I'm not ready to. I told him but I don't want to hurt him. This Saturday is the wedding!! Wow, I can't believe it's almost here. Friday is the rehearsal and dinner at 6 then I'm supposed to go to Mike O's sister's 21st birthday party. Both Mike and Bryan invited me. Monday night Mike called me and invited me over Dom Canetti's. We all went swimming, it was a big group of people. Dom C, Dom H, Brad, Kyle and Ang, Emma, Nancy, Mike O, Conrad, Jake, Jen and myself. They're a lot of fun. Bryan was there but left at like 8 b/c he had work. When I told Dom that Bryan came over at 9 and stayed til 10:30 he was suprised. He said "He never stays out past 9 b/c of work." Tee hee hee. He's a cool kid. post comment

Q u i z E s..Sometimes u get a little bored Part III [19 Aug 2003|10:55pm] [ mood | happy ] You are a Trojan Very Sensitive! You like to be gentle, and comfort is your middle name. You'd never do anything that didn't make you feel good. You're also a little too emotionally sensitive - you need to work on that. What Trojan Condom Are You? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva You Are a Sex Freak! While your antics haven't landed you in jail... They have probably landed you in some relationship hot water. So you like sex... love it in fact. Isn't that how we're built? You've done it standing, sitting, but never shitting. And you always have a vibe in your pocket. You're most likely to be the biggest flirt... not freak. Advice? Stay away from those who give you guilt trips. Monogamy is probably not for you. Find some other free spirits. When the rules are thrown away, the sex will be that much better. What's Your Freak Factor? Need a boyfriend? No, not in this lifetime. Need a boyfriend? No, not in this lifetime. Perhaps you’ve been burned. Perhaps you’ve been fried. Perhaps you’ve been two-timed one too many times. Whatever the reason you are O-VER it. If it’s got a penis, you’re not interested. At least not now or into the foreseeable future. But things could change. After all, it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind. Or her shoes. It’s just that right now, you’re thinking about shoes. Do You *Need* a Boyfriend? You Are an Oral Master! If going down were a class, you'd be an A+ student. You've been known to do anything - from deep throat to ass licking. Your oral can get almost anyone off... Too bad you're not flex enough to try it on yourself! How Oral Are *You*? You Have a Wet Pussy! You've got the type of pussy guys never forget. No need for flowers or foreplay, you're already wet. You call yourself "natural Astroglide." You're always ready to have something inside. What Kind of Pussy Do *You* Have ew man! look at that picture. Haha. You'll Be Arrested For Flashing! You do have a fabulous body, but be careful who you show it to... Your cellmate might like it a little too much. Instead, invest some time in a new stripping career, Or a plane ticket to Hedonism! What Sex Crime Will You Be Arrested For? You Are Sex Starved! Alas, you need a little help encouraging a lover and have come to this quiz hoping for some advice. You're on the right track so don't despair. With breasts that could kill a man and some training, you are on the road to becoming the new Just remember that it's very easy to kinkify any action you take, from brushing your teeth to eating a burrito... As long as you use your tongue alot and pretend you're playing with a cock at all times. Lose those inhibitions and try new things in new places, whether they be in your body or in the drive-thru. This will make your erotic fantasies a reality and bring forth the lovers of your dreams! What Sexy Woman Are You? You Attract Boy Toys! You're a laid back chick, and the most appealing kind of girlfriend. No surprise that you attract cute party boys and handsome athletes. Your relationships with these guys are 100% pure fun - and very sexually charged. The minute things get bad with your boy toy, expect him to go on to the next girl. If you don't keep him happy with wild parties, drunken debauchery, and a convertible to drive... Well, chances are he'll find a woman who does. Enjoy your Boy Toy for who he is - hot sex, good drugs, and a total ego boost. Don't get emotionally attached, let him chase you... And always use a condom! What Kind of Guy Do *You* Your Guy is Prince Charming The man for you is Prince Charming. You need a sensitive, romantic man who will understand and listen. You enter into relationships for love and need a committed man who will provide plenty of love and security. What Guy is Perfect for *You*? You Have a Nice Ass! Oooh, baby can you shake that booty? With an ass so fine, it's your duty. Give it a grab, give it a spank. You're the envy of every skank. What Ass Do *You* Have?? You Are 1/2 Virgin, 1/2 Whore! 50-50, baby! Ah, you are fairly normal. You have sex, though to you it's not more exciting than a new designer outfit. Secretly, you are a adventurous soul just waiting for someone to take control. Open up a little, and you'll show your guy the best sex ever. There's nothing to be afraid of - except fainting from multiple orgasms! You are great at kissing, getting yourself off, and using your hands. What Do Girls Whisper Behind Your Back? Virgin or Whore Quiz Tells All! post comment

I'll be movin' on... [17 Aug 2003|05:30pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | Movin' On - Mya ] I had so much fun last night. I picked Dominic up and we went to Bohagers around 9. We sat with Mike, Angie etc for a while and he played pool. Finally, I heard "Peaches and Cream" and started dancing for him. Haha. Then I heard How Many Licks and had to get on the box. Dominic just watched me. Finally, Mike, Bryan, and Jerry showed up. I was dancing with Bryan and wow. He's a cop. I also like Mike. I was dancing with him and he ended up kissing me at the end of the night. I like both of them. Bryan is wild and I like that and Mike is more laid back and I like that too. I can take them both right? Haha. I danced on the bar and the bar tender stuck a glow stick in my jeans. Haha. I didn't appriciate that these guys I bairly know were grabbing my ass. I mean while I was dancing Bryan and Mike were rubbing my ass but that's different. They're friends. But I drove Bryan and Mike to Mike's sister's so Bryan could get his keys. Bryan drank a beer then I drove him home. On the way home I saw 2 padiddles and his version is if you get hit you gotta take clothes off. He ended up driving with no shirt on. Haha. He had a regular shirt and a under shirt. Got them both. I'd like to get to know both of them better. They're so much fun. Before Mike's sister's we went to the Blvd Diner. Mike, Kevin, Ted, Shawn and Wayne were there after Ted's party. Bryan was eating pancakes and taking bites of it and my pickle then spitting it out. It was so funny. He's wild and doesn't give a shit and I like that. He's really cute too. The first time I saw him Friday I was like "Woah." But he came into Bohagers, I hugged Jerry and Mike then Bryan comes over hugs me and says "Hey sexy!" I'm like "Hey cutie." On the way to Mike's sister's Bryan was laying down in my back seat. I reached back, grabbed his ass and said "Wake up, sexy." He's like "Ok..." Sits up..then lays back down. I got 3 glow stick things and 2 sets of beads. I didn't get in til 4:30 a.m. My mom got mad but I don't care, I was having so much fun. I'm movin' on....and forever... You Are a Scream! What Sex Sound Are *You*? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva You Should Tutor Physics! You're very good in chemistry... but not the type that will get you a good lay. Many people find you attractive - but aren't looking for the kind of commitment that you are. Use your brain to your advantage! Help out that hottie struggling in your physics class. The reward may be more handsome than you imagined! What Should *You* Tutor? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva You Are a Banana Vibe! Silly, yet surprisingly sexy You're better than four out of five dicks And you have no trouble finding the g-spot Cheeky monkey! Like this vibe? Get more info here... What Vibrator Are *You*? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva Your Bedroom Personality Is Romantic! For you, sex is an act of love. What this means: You wait the longest of all types to have sex. You've got to be sure that you're in love... And that your lover is devoted to you. What your lovers love about you: You make sex meaningful, passionate, and emotional. You are caring and gentle throughout the whole act. And once you have sex, you're likely to stick around for a while. What your lovers can't stand about you: For you sex and love are so entertwined... That good sex can make you too attached. And bad sex can make you feel unloved. What's *Your* Bedroom Personality? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva Your Far Out Fantasy Is Web Sex! You like a crowd, and you'll be sure to please. Get a web cam - and get on those knees. You'll get presents for showing your crotch. Like a Playstation or a bling bling watch. How to explore your fantasy: - Get a cam, get a website, get an Amazon wishlist :-) - See how other camgirls lure guys in - Get some clear toys, so everyone can still see you (like this dildo) - Get some glow in the dark action going on (like cuffs or vibes) What's Your Far Out Fantasy? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva You Are a Like Eyes! Sly, mysterious, and very sexy. You have a deep stare and lure people in with your gaze. Anyone would be lucky to get with you. Why? Because your big on doing things all the way... And making sure the pleasure is distributed evenly. And if not fifty/ fifty, your lover will get even more. You're sweet, kind, and love to be a tease at times. Congrats! You've got it all. What Body Part Are You Most Like? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva post comment

Crazy In Love [16 Aug 2003|03:11am] [ mood | determined ] [ music | I Refuse - Aaliyah ] Went over Mikie's and saw Eakie. I havn't seen him in 3 years so it was great hanging out with him again. He's from Deleware. Then Dan came over. Dominic called and asked me to go with him to Loch Raven but he ended up coming over with a few of his friends. Then we went to the strip bar, boring. Then we went back to Mike's house and sat around. Me and Dominic sat by the pool and talked. I needed someone to talk to about things that have been going on and I miss Dominic so much. Tomorrow night I'm supposed to go to Bohagers but everyone bailed on me so I'm probably going out with Dominic and his guy friends (like 5 of them) for Mike's 18th. :) Thursday Karen and I are going to Bar of Baltimore!! :) I miss Karen. Yey! A girl to hang out with. I'm giving up on Ed. I need to get away from him. I hate the way he talks to me, he doesn't know what he has with me and he plays me for a fool. I know he's telling this other girl the same stuff about me that he says about her. It's a game and I can't let him win. I refuse to let him play me for a fool anymore. Baby, your love got the best of me and baby you're makin' a fool of me..you got me so crazy in love I can't let him do this to me anymore. I told him today "I don't know where you get off talking to me the way you do sometimes." It is rediculous how he treats me. I mean he tells me his sister invited this other girl as his date to her wedding. Do I look that stupid? No one "puts down someone as a date." You request it. And now he's going to my mother's wedding with me because I have no one else and I don't want him to piss me off because I have had it. I'll tell him straight up how it is if he starts shit with me. I can't let him rule me like he has the past few months. It is insane. I can't let a guy do this to me. How can one person affect me so much? Everything is right in front of me but I'm so far in that I was blind. I have to get away from him, I can't do this anymore. I deserve better, he doesn't deserve me. I deserve someone who knows what they have when they have me. Who knows how good of a person I am, who doesn't treat me like a door mat or a piece of ass. I am worth so much more than that, I know this, but I continue to let him treat me the way he does. It's my fault that I let him but from now on I refuse. I refuse to let him hurt me anymore, to let him make me angry, to let him hurt me because he isn't worth it. I thought he was, but he's not. I thought he was different, nice. Tells me he knows how to treat a girl. Obviously he doesn't if he's going over another girl's house while he has a girlfriend. That's not knowing how to treat a girl. Please. And I put up with it! How stupid can I be? I was laying by the pool tonight talking to Dominic and just told him that I need to get away from him. Every guy I know says I'm hot and I can get any guy I want. I know I can. I know I deserve someone who will love me and treat me the way I deserve. I can't let him do this to me anymore. I know I always say this but I really mean it this time. I have to mean it, otherwise I'm going to continue to be his door mat. I'm sick of being lied to. I'm sick of being treated like a child. I am more mature that most 18 year olds I know and sometimes more mature than any chicks older than myself. I need to do this for myself and sorry for sounding trite: But I need to do this for my heart. JR wants me to come over...it's 3:33 a.m and I don't wanna drive anymore. I wanna go see him but I can't now and I don't feel like driving. Haha. I might..I dunno. post comment

love or something like it. [14 Aug 2003|07:37pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | Walk Away - Christina Aguilera ] I hate to show that I've lost control cause I keep going right back to the one thing that I need...to walk away from... Everyone is pointing the obvious out to me but I'm so blind to see anything. Love or something like it makes you do crazy things. It makes you blind sometimes when everything is right there in front of you. I can stand up to any other guy. If they say something to me that's really assish (haha) I can say "You have no idea who you're talking to do you?" But with one person, I can't. I take it. I put up with it b/c I'm afraid of losing him completely. I was talking to my mom about how Kevin got smart with me saying "Are you deaf?" and when I told her that part she goes "Wooahh...he obviously has no idea who he's talking to. You don't take that shit off anyone." It's true. I don't take shit from people like that. You don't get smart with me for no reason. Anyway, I can't seem to get away from this. It's a cycle for me. He did call the past 2 days asking to hang out and he picked me up and we spent the day together but there's still a part of me so into him that when something happens I let it soak into me. All my friends, even those who don't know him, all tell me I'm stupid for putting up with some of the stuff he does. No one wants me to get back together with him, neither of my parents like him and neither does my grandmother and she only was introduced to him. In so many ways I think we're perfect for each other but he doesn't see that. His mom does and she tells me all the time (in so many words.) and I just wish he could see it and wake up and realize who and what he has. I don't love himlove him, I do as a friend and a person not as a lover. I treat him so well, give him all I have to give and that's it. With Kevin I just wish he'd come around. My mom tells me she gets "good vibes" from him and she really has a good feeling about him. I do too but when he drinks he gets really assish (hehe. I like that word.) and dickish. I can tell when he's drinking b/c he says shit like "Are you deaf?" If he says that I can tell him "Shut the hell up." but if the other one says something like that I don't say anything. It's so strange. No guy has ever made me act this way. I can always stand up to a guy eventually but with this one it's so strange. I can't. I don't know what to do. No one has ever come into my life and altered who I am and how I react to people. I pu up with things with any other guy I would walk away or walk out. But I can't walk away. I was naive your love was like candy. Artifically sweet, I was deceived by the wrapping. Got caught in your web and I learned how to bleed. I was pray and your bait and devoured completely. How does this man have such power over me? It's love? or something like it... post comment

What I want [12 Aug 2003|03:29am] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | I Wanna Be Bad - Will Ford ] I want someone to treat me like the most beautiful girl in the world I want someone to be willing to put aside what they want for what I want I want someone who my parents like I want someone who doesn't discuss ex-girlfriends (Thats all so far) post comment

S.W.A.T [12 Aug 2003|12:06am] [ mood | okay ] Saw S.W.A.T. tonight with J.R. That movie was awesome. Colin Farrell surpassed Paul Walker...sorry Paul. You have to redeem yourself with an accent. Haha. Ed's supposed to come over and stay the night but who knows if he's gonna come. He has to watch Gabe and get up early but he said "I can come over but I have to get up at 8 to take Heather to work." J.R. and I had a lot of fun tonight. We saw Dominic and his girlfriend there. Bought Jane Eyre and Cosmo magazine. Very informative. Haha. :) Well that's all. Colin Farrell....yummie. post comment

[10 Aug 2003|01:29am] [ mood | angry ] I am so angry. My mom had her batcholorete (dont ask me to spell) tonight and I wasn't invited. I am 18 and they didn't want to go to any clubs that are 18 and over. My aunt Patti didn't want to go and they didn't ask Ms. Darlene (also in the party) But me? The fuckin DAUGHTER of the bride, the MAID OF HONOR, wasn't included in the bat party?!?!? WTF? I was angry at first and refused to let anyone see me cry about it but as soon as I left the diner (my mom invited me there. Dan called me saying he saw them THEN she got on his cell and asked me to come AFTER the food arrived. thanks Mom) I started crying. I stopped over my dad's and just cried my eyes out to him. I'm not included in anything in my mother's FUCKING WEDDING! The daughter of the bride isn't included. Ted said "Ryan's not coming to my batchelor party." RYAN IS 15!!!! I am 18. Ryan is too young to go but I am not. I am LEGAL. This is my mother's wedding and they act like I'm not important. Like I'mj the 3rd cousin of her neighbor. So to the girls who took her out I said "Fuck you guys. Thanks for inviting me." They wanna take over? Fine. I mean this is one of the most important moments of my life. My mother is getting married and I'm treated like NOTHING. Oh, she's just the MAID OF HONOR AND THE DAUGHTER. She doesn't matter. FUCK THAT, take over girls! I don't give a shit anymore. My mom had NOTHING to say except "Oh stop!." I said "Yeah, mom, this is like YOU not being invited to MINE. Take THAT into consideration." SO THANKS A LOT YOU DUMB BITCHES FOR EXCLUDING ME IN MY MOTHER'S BATCHELORETTE PARTY!! post comment

Script in life. Always thrown out. [09 Aug 2003|02:54pm] [ mood | quixotic ] So this is my first day house sitting for my brother, Steve. I'm here til Thursday and they said I can have people over! :) I told him I'm having a party tonight. Haha. He says "I don't care just don't get the cops called on you." Yeah, me have a party? No one will show up, besides I'm not into that whole party thing too much. I'll go but I won't throw. Haha. Ed is supposed to stay the night sometime this week but since he has Gabe all week he probably won't be able to. Spent a few hours over Kevin's, played with Christopher. He is so cute. I was on the floor watching Friends and he sat on my lap and everytime Kevin and I would laugh he'd start laughing too. Then he was facing me and we were making faces to each other back and forth and then he puts his arms out, I did too then he hugs me. I happened to see Kevin out of the corner of my eye while him and I were sitting together and he had that smile on his face that was just as if he were saying "You're great with him." I don't know what is going to happen with that. When I left I wanted so much for him to come out after me, kiss me and tell me he wants to be with me now. I know, the script in life is always thrown out and nothing is like the movies but a girl can dream. I'll probably give Sarah Hom a call and see if she wants to hang out. We went to see Tomb Raider last week and her and I are so in love with Angelina Jolie. We're going to go to Cambodia to see her if anyone else wants to come. Haha. My car is in the hospital. :( I feel so weird without it. I feel so horrible. I used my dad's truck to go over Kevin's and I think I backed up into a car while pulling out and dented it in the back. :( Last night, Vince Brooks came over. He is insane. I picked him up around 8:30 and John kinda looked at me like "You're here to see Vince?" Yeah...It's amazing how when you see someone you were best friends with for over a year, would do anything to make them happy then you feel nothing. I see him and feel nothing at all. Vince, Dan and myself drove to the Avenue then drove through Fells Point. After I dropped him off he called my cell telling me he was bored. Called me about a half hour later to remind me he was bored. Haha. It was 12:30 a.m and pouring down rain. Oh well. Well I'm going to work on my webpage a bit, eat and chillax. post comment

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