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Saying goodbye. [20 Jul 2003|08:55am] [ mood | sad ] [ music | Michelle Branch - Goodbye To You ] I never intended to say goodbye. This wasn't my choice. Please know that. Warning this is a mushy post, but hey it's my last one here, so I might as well go for it. I've tried to find the words here at this early morning hour to really say something, but I'm sort of speechless here. I'll try though. I guess I should say thankyou. Thankyou to all that were friendly, wonderful and I'll miss you all. I'll miss all of you. I've had a peachy time meeting you all and getting to know you all better. I hope you got a little insight into who I am and this journal. I remember awhile back Sarah posted the lyrics to "The Last Song" by the All-American Rejects. I'd post them here but I sort of have a slight tear in my eye. Maybe because this is the hardest part. Michelle Branch played "Goodbye to You" last night and I guess it was very appropriate. I love you all, no matter what. Be good to each other, because in the end you've only got yourself and the people that matter to you. I'm not going to do shout outs, because you all know who you are who mean the most to me. Suffice to say I'm not happy. But like all things that are completely unexplainable, this is just one of them. So I intended to write goodbye here, but it's always just see you later. I was asked what's the best way to say goodbye - it's always with a hug. So have an Aly-cat hug on me. ( OOC ) Want my sex.

Good morning, good afternoon, or good evening. Depending on when you read this. Or if you read it at [12 Jul 2003|08:37am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | Michelle Branch - Hotel Paper ] Alright well here I am up and early so I figured why not, update, just cause I don't know how much I'll get to the rest of the weekend. Alexis and I are going out to his cousin's sailboat this weekend. We're going to spend the entire weekend there. This was his idea and I'm thinking wow, maybe we could act out the Duran Duran video, "Rio" - but that would entail employing a sax player and hey having more women on the boat which unless you were part of the Cult or maybe as sexy as Holly, or someone else I know, I'll just have to pass. Ok I wasn't intending to plug American Wedding, because chances are most of you are just sick of me talking about it but I can't help it. I'm so excited about this and in the next couple of weeks, it's finally going to come out. I've already gone on record saying this film is funnier than the first two. And if you guys don't think so than I can't help that, but I do and I believe in it so hey. Anyway the soundtrack is coming out soon, and I'm totally excited Avril's got a new song on it, and hey The All American Rejects "Swing Swing" is on it too! And if you haven't bought their record you really should. The album should be out pretty soon if it's not out already. Buy it so if you don't like the movie at least you've got some great tunes to listen to. And a big welcome to all the new people and Tom's brother, Erich! Ok I must go and prepare the sunblock part of my life. Red's a nice color for my hair but not on my skin usually. Edit: Well before I forget, if you guys turn on Access Hollywood sometime this weekend (it airs at various times and such) I'm going to be on it doing something very well I guess entertainment-wise. There's some other things coming up but as they come closer I'll let you all know - but there's a bunch of stuff, TRL, some promotional stuff I did with Jason - who really needs to get his butt here already before I get a spatula out again and a hosting of a new show on the WB called, Smash. Yes, I know, busy busy I am, but never too busy to talk to anyone. 6 // Want my sex.

Alright yet another fun update from yours truly [10 Jul 2003|06:41pm] [ mood | relaxed ] [ music | Michelle Branch - Where are you Now? ] Well let's see here, what to update about, what to update about. Took David out to dinner as promised on Tuesday night. Despite me paying for the dinner, and it being one of those I owe you kind of things, we had a great time. I wish I could see him more often and it's strange I saw him on set for a few years and then he went to do his own show and all and then I only saw him every now and then again. But I wish I could work with him sometime in the future, he's such a talent. He really is. Today I took Emmy out for lunch and shopping and such. I think she had a really wide smile on her face, but that's nothing unusual. And I think Holly's coming over tomorrow for girl time. Ice cream and all. Alexis and I finally unpacked the last box today and I'm sure this weekend we'll head out soon. Yes, he lurks, but it's not intentional I'm sure of it. Things finally feel like "home" again. I feel safe and secure and snuggly. It feels like our house. It's really the little things that matter anyway to me. You know like when you get coffee in the morning, having your milk and sugar in it just the way you want it. If you drink it black you like a nice brewed cup of course. Well it's sort of like that when you look at a person. You notice the way they slightly twist their fingers when buttoning a shirt or the subtle way they look at you while brushing your hair when you wake up in the morning. Little things that are so important actually because if you miss them, you never get them back. I think when you get those things, you sort of connect on different levels. You'd be surprised how far a hello can take you or even a smile to someone can affect you. I know this sounds way cheery and maybe I'm simplifying things way too much but it's true really. Think about your absolute worst moment and when someone finally asks, Hey how are you or gives a smile, maybe it helps just a tiny moment. You never know until you try. I have days you know where I wake up and I feel not so chipper and such. Yes, even I get bitchy. I know some of you may think that's not true, but it is. I find myself pushing around and sluggish but then it's a little moment that happens and it sort of helps. Not always but at least for me it does. I hear a lot of times, I deserve to be happy. I am happy of course. But it's not just me that deserves to be happy. Everyone does. Every. Last. One. Of You. If you can look at yourself in the mirror and laugh every once in awhile, consider yourself fortunate to even accomplish that. You never know when you when it'll happen again. Want my sex.

No, I really didn't forget [09 Jul 2003|06:35am] [I thought she disappeared or said she was going to] Happy Belated Birthday to Iyari, no I didn't forget, I just fell into a state of deep sleep and didn't get up for about a million hours. Forgive me, Iyari. 4 // Want my sex.

Post holiday weekend thoughts [07 Jul 2003|07:41pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | Michelle Branch - One of these Days ] Well my holiday weekend was pretty hectic, what with the move and all. Alexis was quite handy helping me out with the boxes. It took the whole weekend to get everything in and taken care of, but I'm all moved in. Alexis and I celebrated in our own way the fact we're living together again. I think we've just gotten back to where we're supposed to be. Completely at ease with each other. Tomorrow, as promised I'm taking David out for his dinner due to my lost bet. And I'm glad Holly's back in town, cause we're due some girlie talk time again. I'm incredibly happy Shannon unlurked yesterday. It was great to talk to her again. I hope we'll get together pretty soon. And Mena it'd be good fun to talk to you, if I can catch you sometime. Seems like we keep missing each other. And Tara, you make watching those Buffy episodes like they are Chinese water torture or something! Hee! Come on you know you love it, the whole goofiness that I am. Not to mention the really evil stuff we had to deal with too. I feel like my world's spinning really fast right now. I'm trying to keep up with it all but sometimes I feel like I'm not. But I'm trying to stay on top and so that means running as fast as I can. Granted, I think I have the right pair of shoes on. But it's a little hectic. It's a good hectic though. I know I wouldn't wanna be doing anything else right about now. I'm sad that Iyari left and Eric Lively deleted too. I miss those guys already. I thought about really writing out this whole kind of idea of how you can connect on really easily levels with someone and pretty quickly I might add, but I'm a bit pooped right now to do so. Maybe another time. Want my sex.

And don't think I forgot [06 Jul 2003|08:25am] [ mood | still awake ] Anyone that can steal Michelle from a kidnapping from me and do one of his own, deserves his own post too. Happy Birthday Greg! 2 // Want my sex.

Happy Birthday [06 Jul 2003|08:21am] [ mood | awake ] Happy Birthday to Adam! No Flaying this year ;) But seriously, I hope you have a fantastic day! 3 // Want my sex.

How was your 4th? [05 Jul 2003|08:33am] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | Michelle Branch - Tuesday Morning ] I hope everyone's 4th was a good one. Full of all that stuff that comes a long with it, such as barbeques, fireworks and such. I took Tom out for dinner as promised last night. This was kind of belated, but not due to anyone's fault except the scheduling gods, and so finally when we did get to sit down and eat it was one of those grand Mexican fiestas. Full on with all the works. Tom and I ate up to the point where I think I'm just so stuffed that my brain couldn't comprehend any more food. No, we did not put on sombreros, I swear, we didn't. I am so happy for Tom and Danny and their upcoming ceremony, to which I feel so honored to even be invited. After that, yes it was fireworks time. Although yes, I don't think Danny and Tom watched most of the fireworks. I mean it was really bright so I don't know how they missed it, but I'm guessing it was because they had other important things to do that involve a blanket. Of course I kept my eyes peeled on the fireworks. Today I'm going to start the moving in process with Alexis. My dogs are going to miss Sarah's dogs. I'm going to miss Sarah's house, but I know I'll be over for visits when she gets home. And yes David did beat me in pool, but it wasn't a total trouncing. I do admit defeat, but I went down fighting. And as promised he gets his dinner. I don't welch on bets. Alexis needs to update before he dies. Well I won't let him die. No matter what. And Holly, you're home so we're due some time yes? I mean big debates over the power of witches. Ha! We all know who can kick ass can't we? And that's about all for now, time to go put stuff in boxes. 2 // Want my sex.

Happy Birthday [04 Jul 2003|09:39am] [ mood | celebratory ] [ music | All American Rejects - My Paper Heart ] Happy Birthday Ste! And Happy July 4th people! Go out and bring the celebratory fireworks or barbeques or whatever else you plan to do. I'm taking Tom out for dinner later, finally. 1 // Want my sex.

Alright proper updating time [03 Jul 2003|05:06pm] [ mood | busy ] [ music | Michelle Branch - Are you Happy Now? ] I know I haven't been around for a few days, it's just I've been so terribly busy lately with some interviews and promotion that's really starting for the whole American Wedding blitz that I haven't had time to really sit down and write what else has been going on. And there's a lot. Well not so much a lot, but things that are important I guess to note. Alexis will probably update something in greater detail or not. But here we go. Alexis not only surprised me, he left me speechless the other day. He showed up completely unannounced with a bouquet of roses and a bottle of wine and wouldn't even let me get a word in and silenced me with the divine kisses and such and then we shared a very special evening indeed. And I got to talk to him about something very important. Some might think this is too soon, but it's just right. I'm going to move back into him, back into our old house. My friends had been watching it for me, because well I didn't exactly sell it. Sarah's gave me her blessing the last time we chatted, and of course I'll miss my favorite and best roomie in the entire known galaxy but I won't be far. Alexis and I have gone out for over three years if you don't count our little separation not to long ago. I've fallen back in to a place I didn't think was really possible and I couldn't be happier. Anyway Aly-cat's back and such, so Tom if you're around, let's go and have that dinner already! Sorry for anyone's birthday wishes and such and Welcome to Mena! And everyone else! ( ooc, last one for a while I hope! ) 2 // Want my sex.

Ok this will probably be one of the shortest updates ever. [01 Jul 2003|08:32am] No real time to sit and due a proper update right now. I had a great weekend, on Sunday I took Orlando’s “picnic virginity” so to speak with a picnic, with all the great things that come with that, big baskets, blankets and cheese, along with some fruit. We wound up making more of a mess than anything. Wednesday I’m going to beat the pants off of David in pool. Even if I don’t I’m going to try. We have a small bet, whomever wins has to take the other out to dinner. And Tom’s back which means he finally gets his belated birthday dinner! Alexis, I have to talk to you about something kind of important. No, nothing bad, very good! ( ”OOC” ) 1 // Want my sex.

It's the end of the week, or it's the beginning of the week depending on how you look at it. [29 Jun 2003|11:10am] [ mood | artistic ] [ music | The All American Rejects - Swing Swing ] Alexis says he has a surprise for me and now of course I'm completely curious as to what that surprise is going to be. I haven't a clue but I'm pretty sure it's going to be somewhat yummy. Yummy in the sense not necessarily with food either. Just being around him is plenty yummy enough. So whatever it is, I'm sure it's going to be worth the wait. I've had a quiet weekend pretty much otherwise, Friday was spent with Tara and she already did a fantastic job about updating all of that so all I'll add was that I'd love to do it again real soon. I'm so happy for her and Tobey it's bursting out of my head. Ok now you all have some kind of visual. I can assure though it's not quite that dangerous. Today I promised Orli a picnic so that's where I'm going. My platonic husband and I will be having a fairly nice day I think. That just sounds funny still, platonic husband. I guess this is preparing me for maybe a possible future husband type. And yes your eyes don't deceive you, I'm playing around with my layout because poor Eliza's server is running out and so I figured this was as good of a time as any to try some things out. She however is by far the layout queen and I thank her muchly <3 (Eliza's tm) for her wonderful efforts as always that she did for me before. I know it's not nearly as good as before but alas, my technological skills are not what Willow's used to be, so just bear with it and I apologize greatly in advance for it's probably rather not exactly spiffyness. And a big ol welcome to everyone new. See some new faces, some old faces and everything in between. Want my sex.

Ok I'm so slow [27 Jun 2003|05:29pm] But HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOBEY! And yes that had to be all in caps. He's my pretend brother ;) 2 // Want my sex.

Alright it's time for another update. [26 Jun 2003|06:00pm] [ mood | busy ] [ music | Depeche Mode - Something to Do ] Lately when I pull up this journal type thing, I'm always wondering what exactly I'm going to write about and then it sort of comes to me. Words come but they never go in the order I think they migh go in. Anyway a big welcome and hello to all the new people including Mercedes and Marc! It's good to see you guys out and about again! Yesterday I had the great pleasure of hanging out with James. It's sort of becoming a trend I guess, people I haven't seen since I wrapped up Buffy and now I finally get to see them because everything has sort of quieted down. Well somewhat. James and I had a good time and hugs were had. I'm happy to say he's smiling again or at least I'm thinking so. And then today Alexis and I had a picnic. Yes one of those get a basket deals and fill 'em up with goodies. Fruits and we even had a little wine too. Having a wonderful time with him is the understatement of the day and probably my week. When I'm around Alexis, it's as if time just kind of well it doesn't actually stop, but it just stays still. For a moment at least before all the craziness kicks in again. It's really too soon for me to say if we're going to get married. We were engaged before and although I'm really comfortable with him, and maybe one day I will get married, I don't know at this point. Ask me in another couple of months. Yes, I'm in the latest issue of Premiere magazine with a wacky photo shoot that was supposed to be some parody of the 80s movie classic, Porky's. I'm not sure how well that actually hit off, but hey I had a few laughs over it. And yeah Tobey already talked about the IT list in Entertainment Weekly that I'm on. Should I be proud of the Recovering Band Geek girl status? You bet I am! I worked really hard to get that title, didn't I? Hah! And yes, I've been doing interviews that will be coming out probably over the next month or so in July for American Wedding. Promotion whirlwind, here I come. And here I thought I'd have a lazy summer. Nope, not me. Tomorrow it's a Tara day. A Tara-sized lunch and lounging day. 3 // Want my sex.

Update numero dos for those keeping track [23 Jun 2003|06:23pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Michelle Branch - Are You Happy Now? ] Ok I swear last update from me today. Wow, what a weekend I had. I'm still kind of grinning ear to ear. First off Alexis and I had a wonderful homemade chili dinner on Friday night and before I knew it dinner spilled over into the night and the morning. Which I guess then it means breakfast. Either way Alexis and I shared something very special and such and the smile hasn't left my face since then. Ok if I keep going here, it'll turn into a mushy post so I'll just end that little part here. Love's a funny thing sometimes, just when you think it's not going to happen, it does and when it does it goes full throttle. Yesterday I went to Tobey Maguire's surprise birthday party that Love threw at her house. Now, much fun was had, a soaking in the pool and oh yes, the whole Truth or Dare. And you can just about guess who made up some very interesting dares for people to do. Yours truly decided to skip the dares though and go straight for the truth, since I had already participated in some of the dares. Tobey Maguire you can give me CPR any time! And then there was the whole other little karaoke thing, that of course I didn't sing about but hey Mandy's song of "Candy" has a whole new meaning to a lot of us now for sure. Indeed it was a fun time. No I didn't stay for Spin the Bottle. Sorry to disappoint, if you were expecting full kissing details of who what when and how. There's one man of course that I wouldn't mind playing that with and I think I just might. Tom's not back from his convention so no belated birthday dinner for him. But I'm seeing James on Wednesday and there will be Aly-cat sized hugs for him. I'm determined to make him a bit happier, if it's the last thing on this planet I do. I feel like things are going so well right now that I'm not quite sure how much better that they can get. Wait, I'm pretty sure it can get better. See, that's just it you know, if you keep pushing for the happy, you can't ever stop to think about what you've left behind. Always going forward, never backwards. No matter what kind of day it is, it's just that. One day. There's obviously only 24 hours in a day, each little moment kind of sums it up, so if you waste one, there's no chance in getting it back. Ok food for thought, speaking of which I should go get some. Want my sex.

Ok ok there are probably 2 updates coming. [23 Jun 2003|06:13pm] [ mood | not as sexy as Emma ] Only because I promised Emma a certain update ages ago, and now I'm going to sit down and get to it, because I finally have a moment to do so. I feel almost I should be writing an entire thesis on why Emma Caulfield rules and how much I love her but alas, there will be a few paragraphs. Besides if I started to write more it would sound somewhat like a speech and who really listens to anyone's speeches past the first few minutes anyway? Emma is not only sexier than me; She's someone I can really always count on a hug or a shopping spree if necessary from Emma in a time of need. She's completely cooler than I'll ever be and did I mention how much sexier she is than I am? Cause she is. I just have to keep reiterating this because I think she probably would love if I shouted it from the rooftops. Or not. The point is and I swear I have one, is in all the years I've known Emma, and we're working on a few here, that I've always found a way to smile around her and everyone should pretty much worship her. And it's not because she played a ex-vengeance demon on Buffy. Although you might get some bonus points there. It's because she's sweet, smart and can pretty much define the meaning of fun for you in a few moments. Once again, Emma's sexier. Admit it. You know you want to. 2 // Want my sex.

Yup yup [21 Jun 2003|02:48pm] [ mood | wowed ] [ music | Laika - Black Cat Bone ] This is a nice little short post to wish a couple people a happy happy birthday! Happy Birthday Eric! and Happy Birthday Chrissy! And...wow. A great night indeed. And that's all you're getting for now. 4 // Want my sex.

Well what to update, what to update. [19 Jun 2003|07:58pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Sarah McLachlan - Possession ] Past couple of days I've spent it with some of my favorite people. Seth and Nick to be exact. It had been entirely too long since I saw them last, especially Seth so I spent the past couple of days just catching up with them. Yesterday Seth and I went out for lunch and he promised to show me the art of prancing, because apparently there is some artistic way about doing it. And who better to do that then the expert of prancing, Seth. I'm not sure how well I did it, but hey, pranced away I did. Seth and I spent a great bit of time laughing and sharing stories lately and of times gone by. I know he's about to get off break and stuff and head back into filming. Then today I hung out with Nicky. It was yet another fun and fabulous time. I hadn't really seen Nick since we wrapped up filming for Buffy and he and I finally could sit down and talk and not worry about whether or not we needed to be on set in five minutes or less and it was just a nice feeling to indulge in for a little while anyway. It's funny how much you can miss people when you don't see them regularly after you get used to seeing them all the time. I never want to lose contact with the people that mean the most to me. Sure we all kind of go about our lives and live them but I mean I like to think I have good bonds with the people that matter. And I do. I feel fortunate and lucky. Apparently Alexis has nothing in his fridge so I told him I'd cook him some of my chili. So that's tomorrow night. And you know I don't think he'll mind it one bit. I miss Sarah and I'd bring her some of my leftovers but they might get cold by the time I get to England. But there's always you know next day delivery. So hey I just might do that really soon. I guess I was able to help Tom out a bit. I don't know how really, but I guess I did. What can I say, I like when Mr. Lenk is smiling. A happy Tom is a good Tom indeed which is why I'm taking him out for dinner next week. Besides it's the least I can do. Forgot to get him a present. Oops. Man it seems like my entries just keep getting longer and longer. I don't know, sometimes I sit in front of this thing and I wonder how far I can go. I guess it keeps going and going and going. And yes Eliza made me that icon ages ago. Guess I felt like sorta using it, cause well hey FHM did say I was sexy. Emma once said I was sexy too. Guess it's validated now. Hah! 2 // Want my sex.

Don't mean to be random, sometimes I am though. Man I gotta think of better subject lines! [17 Jun 2003|07:38pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Radiohead - The Tourist ] Well let's see, last night or should I say early this morning there was a knock on the door and it was Holly. Holly and I spent the greater portion of the night eating ice cream and then today we spent most of it having some great girlie talk and just catching up with things. Now if you don't know how incredibly wonderful Holly is you really should get to know her. She's worth knowing. Alexis took me out for lunch which originally yesterday was just supposed to be for lunch but it spilled into dinner. And every time we talk, things I was once confused about are slowly starting to fade. We're just enjoying the time we spend together. He doesn't have his 19 hour days and neither do I. We're in a comfortable space, a space of reacquainting ourselves with each other again after so much annoying crap and realizing things that we didn't see before. So progress every day. Tomorrow's it's a chock full of excitement galore when I get to hang out with Seth. My goodness, I haven't seen Seth really not on a movie or television set in so long, that I might not even recognize him. I mean after all I'm used to seeing his hair dyed about a million and two colors and such. But Seth will always be one of my dear friends. And did I mention how absolutely thrilled and astounded and amazed that James and Julie are here? Can Mister Andy Hallett and Mister J. August Richards be far behind? I think not! Well one can hope anyway. And come on already Tony, it would be nice if you showed up too. Ok maybe I'm begging here. And pleading. But why the hell not? I've been talking to Nick some lately and Thursday I'm looking forward to seeing him as well. It's been far too long indeed. And one of these days I'm going to find Michelle and take her out. And I swear next entry I do is dedicated to Emma. No ifs ands or butts about it. Chari, where'd you go? There's kind of this really cool place I'm in. I think I'd like to stay here. Stay here with the smiles. Want my sex.

Happy Birthday [16 Jun 2003|06:38am] [ mood | awake ] I could use a lot of words here to wish one amazing guy a helluva birthday but he doesn't need too many to know just how cool he is. Happy Birthday Tom! Want my sex.

Mush alert, mush alert! [15 Jun 2003|01:23pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Sarah McLachlan - Sweet Surrender ] When he first walked on to the set of Buffy a few years back, I was kind of taken aback. Not only was he going to be a new character by the name of Wesley, but I was also kind of floored with just how incredibly good-looking he was, not to mention how wonderfully polite as well. We always had a flirty relationship on set and everyone knew we liked each other. I wanted to go out with him but he had this rule about not dating anyone he worked with and plus at the time I was involved with someone and so was he. So as much as I liked him and he liked me we just kind of never got to pursue it until he got the call to go be on Angel and then well we didn't have a silly rule to get in our way. We both weren't involved with other people anymore and so we gave it a shot. I fell madly and completely in love with Alexis. We got to know every little nook and cranny of each other off set. So much so that when he actually proposed to me back on break last December I couldn't help but say yes, even though I didn't know if I was ready. Well things got very complicated after that and when I got one of these journal things, it got even more so. So I got scared and he had his own issues and so I ended it. I didn't realize what what was going to happen after this but I needed at least the time to think about it. I kept trying to fool myself. Delude myself into thinking oh yes, I could be happy, I could keep going. Because I couldn't just sit here anymore And then he came back and I felt a lot of confusion. I still do. But when he looked at me after I talked to him, and really looked right through me I couldn't just sit here and ignore it. I stayed up for days, trying to figure out what happened. Issues just don't go away but maybe now we can deal with them. Because I really felt miserable for a long time. Anyone that's talked to me over the past little while knows that I haven't been as chipper as I normally have been. So when he asked me out to dinner, I said yes. When he picked me up and we dined with the wine and Italian food, it was like this great big burden, this absolute heavy weight had been lifted. He's never pushed and he's given me the time. I couldn't ask for anything more and I think every little moment is about to be as clear as can possibly be now. It's a slow process, you don't fall magically in love overnight again. But one little step can go a long way. I guess this was kind of mushy. But hey, every now and then even I can get a little mushy. It's allowed. Edit: How could I be absolutely so thoughtless? It's Father's Day. And yes, my dad still drives trucks and so I gave him a call. Of course at least he had the day off. Yes I take care of them. Hope you call your dads too! 2 // Want my sex.

[15 Jun 2003|10:27am] ( ooc ) Want my sex.

Wow..just wow [14 Jun 2003|02:38pm] [ mood | ecstatic ] [ music | Sebadoh - Ocean ] It's funny how confusion can be cleared up with a simple hello amongst other things. Wow. More later, I promise... 6 // Want my sex.

Did I mention the confusion? [14 Jun 2003|12:18am] [ mood | confused ] Yes I seem to recall doing this earlier this evening. I think, I'm going to be alright now. I hope so. He's here. I don't know what's going to happen, I mean, we have to talk but talking talking would be a good step. Sorry if this entry makes no sense, I think my brain's on overload. Want my sex.

I feel an onslaught of confusion about to sweep in my head. [13 Jun 2003|05:57pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Avril Lavigne - Things I'll Never Say ] I mean it's not fully here but I know confusion is coming. I don't even think I should worry about it until it does, but sometimes my head doesn't let me. I had trouble falling asleep last night. I tossed and turned in my bed and every few hours I'd get up and walk to the fridge. I'd plop myself down and there would be one of my dogs just kind of looking at me, going hmmm why are you up? I couldn't give them an answer cause hey you know I'm not Dr. Doolittle, I can't really talk to animals. But I sat up most of the night and thought some things out. Actually a lot of things. Things I could really get into and describe in full detail but that would take up a lot of lifetimes of writing. When I finally did fall asleep it seemed like it was for minutes. I miss, much like the rest of the Buffy-cult that exists here, miss Sarah. The house just isn't the same without her around, I can tell you that much. I don't know what else to really say, I know some of this may sound cryptic. I think at this point it's the only way I can be. Right now and it sorta works. Until it doesn't, I'm just going to keep wading my way through it. I feel nervous, upset and kind of well, ok all at the same time. I don't even know if that's possible but I guess it is if I'm feeling it. But on a completely different note, Holly Marie Combs is coming! I'm pretty thrilled about that. Edit: Tara's coming, can the rest of my AP co-stars be far behind? And yes, I'm excited about her arrival too. Shannon see this is why you have to stop unlurking! 2 // Want my sex.

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