Blurty for Paige.

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Saturday, January 24th, 2004

Subject:ho hum...
Time:8:37 am.
Mood: sleepy.
Music:tv noise.
alright guys, I've moved! Nobody's on blurty anymore, so I'm at live journal now. My username is 2hott4u. Ya like it? ;) Honestly, I wanted 2sexy4u, but somebody else already had it. its okay...I guess. :) Check in on me!
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Sunday, January 18th, 2004

Subject:I can't breath...
Time:3:59 pm.
Mood: sick.
Music:tv noise.
I'm sick and feeling crappier than ever. I don't know if it's a cold or what, but I have to work tomorrow, so I'm just going to have to suck it up and put my fake smile on. Hmm, not a first.

Even though I feel awful, I'm doing my homework today so I can go do something with Karen and Rach (and maybe Travis?) tomorrow after work. Hey you guys! I'm not procrastinating!!!!
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, January 15th, 2004

Subject:Can''t you see that you're smothering me...
Time:12:19 pm.
Mood: distressed.
Music:Alice playing the piano.
Alright guys, I need yalls opinion. I finally got the guts up to write Jeremiah and tell him what I've been dying to tell him for a while. I want to know what yall think about what I wrote him? Was I too harsh? Too nice? Let me know!

Hi Jeremiah,
Okay, so I know I'm just now getting around to writing. But it's not because I'm lazy, it's because I'm so busy. Now that I'm working, during all of my spare time at home I'm doing school. It's an either or. I'm either at work, or I'm in the house studying. And that's just the way it is. It was my decision; I was the one who chose to get a job so I could go to Italy in March. So, that's why. I just don't have time for email. I don't even talk to my friends as much aymore. Whenever they call I can only talk for a few minutes if even that because there's always something that has to be done. I'm sorry that I don't write as much as you would like, but I don't see why it's such a big deal if we just decided to be friends anyway.

Another thing, I know you want me to come to your birthday party and stuff, but I just think that would be really really weird and uncomfortable. So...ya. I am working on Saturday till like 10:30, but don't change your party date just for me, because I just feel like that would be a really weird situation for me to be in.

Thirdly, what do you mean it wouldn't be a date if just the two of us went to a movie? Of course it would! Besides, my parents would never let me go! Believe me. And it's impossible to bribe them too...

I hope I didn't come across as being really rude and careless, but I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like you're still hanging on to us being more than friends and I don't see that happening anytime soon if at all. Please don't hate me for this...

Paige

What do yall think?
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Monday, January 12th, 2004

Subject:I won't be ignored...
Time:11:49 pm.
Mood: tired.
Music:complete silence(everyone's sleeping).
So work today was a complete bore. I was working Line with Ana, and she's really cool and all, but she can be kinda bossy at times, and really critical. She's more of a perfectionist than me. Okay, so that's not a good thing! *laughs* Nothing bad happened, but nothing excellent happened either. Well, until I got off and hung out with Mike for a while before I left. :) He was taking a tray to the back and as he was walking past he dropped a bone from a plate and asked me if I would pick it up for him so he wouldn't have to come back to get it. After I picked it up for him and put it back on the tray, he mumbled something. It didn't really click until after he had walked off that he said, "I just wanted to see you bend down." Lol. Then he came back and I was like, I can't believe you said that! He was all, you know you like it. I just had to laugh. A few minutes later he came up to me and asked if he really offended me, and I was like, um, what do you think? We both started laughing. He said twice tonight that he really has to watch himself around me, and I'm like, really Mike, you don't have to watch yourself that much! And he's like, oh yes I do!!! Aahhhh, great times with great people.

Well, it's almost midnight, and I still have a two page literary analysis of a poem to write. I chose a pretty cool poem. Here it is:

I don't want to be rearranged.
Anyway,
there's not much room for things
to change.

Tip one glass: that's my hand.
I could be rolled away.

I'll stay with you because
you want to look through me.

So many decanters and globes,
and so much almost the same.

Do you want to dust me - or
count my features? Look at
how many

empty places I take up,
how I'm like a game

in a shooting gallery.
You think I'm a thing -

a cabinet of things easy to
shatter-
but I'm a person.

Walk quietly around me.


Hmm, I just thought it was pretty neat. I don't know exactly how I'm going to write a two page analysis on it though. Man, why do I always save these things for the last minute. Dang it, I still have to study for a history test tomorrow too. Humph. *crosses arms*
Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.

Subject:Just thinkin...
Time:10:51 am.
Mood: thoughtful.
Music:Nuthin.
You know, I've been thinking a lot lately. And I feel really stupid for some of the stuff that's happened lately. Okay, so I have this huge problem with leading guys on and then when they ask me out I tell them I just want to be friends. So ya, this has happened three times in the past month, and it needs to stop now. I'm a really bad flirt, even with guys I would never consider getting together with, and I just need to quit. Starting with Mike. I could never be anything other than friends with Mike because he's too much older than me. He's a really cool guy and a great friend, but I know for a fact nothing else could work out. I don't know, maybe it's just me. Maybe he thinks it's nothing and I'm just one of the many girls he's got crushing on him like this, but I just don't know what to do. I think maybe I should lay off a little bit.
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Sunday, January 11th, 2004

Subject:The radio keep playing all these songs about rain...
Time:9:06 pm.
Mood: busy.
Music:tv noise.
Well! I know in my last entry on Friday I was really nervous about going to work. Well, everything went perfectly fine! I was okay, and I'm still living and breathing! Lol. I asked Mike if anyone had said anything to him about the whole thing with him and me and said no. Then I proceeded to tell him that I was really worried and I felt really bad about the other night because I didn't want him to get in trouble just because of me. He told me not to worry about it, and that if anyone said anything else about it, he was just going to tell them to fuck off and get the hell away from us. :) I love Mike; he's the coolest...

Yesterday at work he was complaining about a table with 16 and 17 year olds at it, and I was like, okay, what's the matter with 16-year-olds? And he said "Two things. One, some of them like those teenagers over there are really immature and annoying." Then he looked at me and smiled and said "Number two, they're illegal". Lol. Great stuff...

I don't want to go to class on Tuesday! I just really hate school. But then again, who likes it? Ya, I hate it all, except for history. I absolutely love history! I have a really good teacher (Mrs. Newman), and I like the people in that class too (Andrea, Kristin, Katie, Tina, Daniel, Carissa and Adam). But I hate everything else. Oh wait! I love art! Art is so much fun! Everybody should be in one!

Okay, more studying to do. Blah...
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Friday, January 9th, 2004

Subject:Aaahhhhh!!!!!!
Time:4:30 pm.
Mood: scared.
Okay guys, I'm going to work! Wish me luck! I'm so freakin scared right now. Butterflies have officially taken over my stomach. Eeek. I'm so nervous......
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, January 8th, 2004

Subject:Don't stay...
Time:7:58 pm.
Mood: anxious.
Music:Linkin Park.
"DON'T STAY"

Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe
Sometimes I need you to stay away from me
Sometimes I'm in disbelief I didn't know
Somehow I need you to go

Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay

Sometimes I fell like I trusted you too well
Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself
Sometimes I'm in disbelief I didn't know
Somehow I need to be alone

Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay

I don't need you anymore, I don't want to be ignored
I don't need one more day of you wasting me away
I don't need you anymore, I don't want to be ignored
I don't need one more day of you wasting me away
With no apologies

Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:I'm a bad one, I'm a good one, I'm a sick one, with a smile...
Time:5:30 pm.
Mood: nervous.
Music:Stupid girl - Cold.
So. Kinda nervous about going in to work tomorrow. I called today, and I have to go in at 5. Not sure when I get off though, and I don't know if I'll be a server if I'll be up front. I don't really want to do either. I just don't want to see Art. But I do want to see Mike and ask him if he's gotten "talked to" anymore, or if it all came out on Saturday. Hmm, not sure. *shrugs* There will most likely be more of it. But you know, I think the same thing kinda happened when Mary Jane (a girl I work with) and Mike were talking. One of the managers told Mary Jane and Mike to stop hanging around so much. Man, what's up with that? As long as your not all over eachother, what's the point? *sighs* I'm so confused. Lol. You know what? When I first starting working at Golden Corral, I told myself I was defanintly not going to get involved in the drama. Psshhh. Why does that never work? Oh well, I guess drama is just part of a teenagers life. You can't get away from it...

Dad and I drove around again today. Actually, I drove on the highway. Hmmm. That was interesting. Ha. No, it wasn't that bad actually. Dad didn't have to tell me what to do very much at all today; I did most of it myself. Aahh...the day I get my license...what freedom! What Joy! :)

I didn't go to youth group last night becauase I decided to stay home and watch The Two Towers. Hadn't seen it before last night. And actually, I only watched half of it. I may finish it tonight, if I don't collapse efore then that is. :) I'm still recooperating (is that how you spell it?) from Monday night I guess you could say. I went to sleep at 2:30 and got up at 6:00. Ya, I was pretty tired. But it didn't really hit me until I got home. Ya, I just about died! Lol.

Yay! Paige made an 88 on her science test! *laughs* It's about time! I think I'll do good on my next test. I'm actually understanding all of this genetics stuff. It's pretty easy! In class on Tuesday I felt all smart and everything. Lol. What a loser! :)~ Do I have to grow up? Or can I go to Neverland (not Michael Jackson's version though, K?)?
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Monday, January 5th, 2004

Subject:What if it happens?
Time:11:32 pm.
Mood: worried.
Music:complete silence....
What if Mike gets fired? Do you know how bad I'll feel? I'll probably just want to quit too. Especially if I'm going to have fingers pointing at me for what happened. Art said that Yogi(the stupid new manager who should be arrested for sexual harassment) was watching Mike and I all day Saturday, and the were together "way to much" and that he was always with me in my section, and if not, I was with him in his section. If Mike gets fired, I don't know if I'll be able to make myself go to work again. I would feel so stupid and looked down on. Huh. When I first started working, I told myself I would not get involved in the drama not matter what. Ya. I'm in deeper shit than I ever thought I would be. What the hell is the matter with me? Why am I such a bitch? If Mike gets fired, it'll be all my fault...will he hate me for it?
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Subject:May God strike down Art with lightening and sic wild lions on his damn ass...
Time:9:41 pm.
Mood: guilty.
Okay, so I could cry right now. I just got back from work and the most upsetting thing happened today. Ya, so I was on line today, and everything was going really good. Zach wasn't working, I was having a great time working with Britt and Ana, and goofing around with everyone else working. Well, I notice something is wrong with Mike. He just isn't his usual self. So I take it upon myself to go seek him out and ask what's the matter. He says it's because it's really slow and he's not making any money, and he also said it's cuz he hasn't had sex in a week. Lol. So it's all good. Well, I was already off, so I figured I'd help him out with some stuff. So I go looking for him and find him in the back rolling silverware. So I'm back there helping him for a few minutes, and we're having a good conversation and laughing and stuff, and all is going great, and then Art(the head server) comes back there looking for Mike, and he tells him that his table left and he needed to go clean up. So Mike leaves, but I stay back there. A few minutes later Mike came back, and you can tell he is really really pissed. I ask him what's the matter, and he said that Art told him that the manager was possibly going to fire him because he wasn't working hard enough because he was playing around too much, and that Mike and I were together too much. So Mike tells me this, and he's telling me how all of it's shit becuase he works like crazy, and his section is always clean, and it's true! He's worked there for over two year now, and just because a new manager comes in and sees him having a good time with a co-worker doesn't mean he should get fired. Well, I ask him if I need to leave, and he was like, no, don't worry about it, just stay here with me. So, we finish what we are doing, and we both go back out. Well, then Art comes up to me, and says that I should stay away from all of the servers and ecspecially Mike becuase he was in "hot shit" right now. I just smiled and acted like it was all good, but I was sooo pissed off!!!! Dude, what is this mans fucking problem? God!!!! I am so upset right now....Mike can't get fired. He's so neat, and he's one of the only people there who I really feel I can talk to about anything. Why is this happening? If anyone needs to be fired, it's that damn Art! How is it that he's married to the coolest woman alive(another server, Maria)? God, I need to vent...
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, January 4th, 2004

Subject:There will be no white flag above my door, I'm in love, and always will be...
Time:4:17 pm.
Mood: annoyed.
Music:nuthin.
Welp, I'm finally getting around to updated my journal. I must say, it has been awhile! I was down in South Texas again for my mom's side of the family Christmas. It was "okay". You know, nothing exciting. We were there for the new year too. That's what kinda pissed me off. So ya, here I was, sitting at my aunts house, watching Seabiscuit at midnight on new years eve, and it sucked. My 19-year-old cousin, Jesse went to a party with some friends, and he invited me to come along. But I figured my mom wouldn't let me go, so I didn't even say anything. But then after Jesse left, Mom said I should have gone along. I was like, okay, so you tell me this now! So next year, I will defanintly going partying with my cuz. You betcha!
Work is going good...yesterday I had to work with Zach though. *sigh* You know, I just can't figure him out. He's not as mean as he used to be. I think part of that is because I know what I'm doing at work now, and I'm not totally clueless, so he doesn't bug me as much. But ya, sometimes he's really flirty, but then the next minute he'll be barking at me to go do something, and...and...whatever. I give up on him. I'll just put on my smiley face mask, and act like I love working with him. Lol. Bull. But other than that, I love work! I ecspecially love working with Mike. He's awesome, and like my big brother. Wait, except we flirt a whole lot, so never mind. Damn, if I was older, I would so be with him(he's like 21)! Yesterday he asked me twice "are you sure you're 16?" Lol. If only I wasn't...
Alright, well, I miss everyone! All I do now is work and study. I have no life whatsoever! Oh well...I love yall!
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, December 28th, 2003

Subject:Mommy! I want one too!!!! :(......
Time:6:07 pm.
Mood: lonely.
Music:tv noise.
Alright! I admit it! I am so freakin sick of being single. Okay? I admit it! It's been a year and half since I broke up with Todd, and there hasn't been a guy since. Gee, do I send out bad vibes or something? Lol. Do I have retard written across my forehead or what? Lol. I just don't understand because guys flirt with me all the time, and I know of more than one guy who likes me right now, but I don't like any of them like that. It seems like the guys I have an eye on are the ones who never make a move. And the ones I see as absolutely nothing more than friends are the ones who make a move. Gosh!!! So aggravating! Why? Why me? *bangs head on wall* Grrrr....and then there's guys at work who flirt with me all the time, but....they all have girlfriends! Well, at least 90% of them. I hate to sound deperate, but ya know? I've been "strong" for over a year, and I'm starting to collapse. *Sigh* Somebody help! *taps stranger on shoulder* You wanna hook up? ;) Lol. Whatever...
Mom and I went shopping today at the Parks. I needed new shoes for work. There was this guy in there who helped us forever, and I just wanted to grab him and take him home with me. He was so cute, and ssoooo sweet and nice. I guess he's what started this whole thing. Damn guys. Why do I care? *shrugs knowingly* I do though...
Kimmie and Rach came to see me at work last night! *smiles* I love my friends. I had told Rach to come see me, but all the same I was surprised. They didn't really get to meet anyone, but I guess that means they'll just have to come again! Dang it! Lol. Just joking guys!
Anyway...supper is almost ready, and I have to study for a science test tomorrow, so I'll see everyone later! Until next time! Oh ya, and be good. Well, you know, you could...try??!?!?! ;)
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2003

Subject:Yes!
Time:4:09 pm.
Mood: excited.
Music:Nuthin.
Paige is now a legal driver! Yippee!!! This morning at like 8:30, Dad took me to go take my test, and I passed! Then we came home, ate lunch, and then......we went......."driving"......:) We ran some errands for Mom and just drove around the neighbourhood. Fun times!
Last night Rach and I had a blast. We went to Super Target, Wal-Mart and Barnes and Nobles. Rach bought a lot of stuff...................me? Ya, I bought my family a DVD for Christmas. What can I say? I am poor! Well, not really, I have a lot of money saved up for Italy, but I can't spend that! Therefore, I had $30 to spend on my family, and I spent 4 of it on supper at Taco Bell. Lol. What a life.....
Okay...homework is yelling at me to come get busy. Does it ever end? *sigh* Homework makes me depressed. :( I just wanna scream sometimes...especially at my parents. Lol. What parents don't suck? (Besides Rachel's!) Lol. I luv u Rach!
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Monday, December 22nd, 2003

Subject:Grr...
Time:11:48 am.
Mood: irritated.
Music:Mom's classical station.
Man, I hate it when I post an entry twice! That pisses me off (even though it was my fault)! I guess no one's perfect!
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Subject:Dadada!!! dadada!!!!
Time:11:47 am.
Mood: content.
Well...Christmas is almost here! We have the children's Christmas program on Wednesday night, and I have to help with it. Grr...I'm a backup singer! Wee! I am flooded with enthusiasm! Not! Gee, I thought I grew out of the Christmas program like three years ago. Ha. That's what I tell myself every year though, and every year and have to do something in the program. Last year I actually had speaking parts...how emberassing. Whatever...
I may see Rainer today! I invited him to go shopping with Rach and I, but I don't know if he'll go or not. I think he will, but you never know with guys. You know? Lol. Yesterday he told me I've changed since the last time I saw him, but then he was quick to add that it's defanintly not in a bad way. ;) He he! He's so cute...
I don't want to go back to school! No! You can't make me and that's that! :( I hate the people there, and I am defanintly NOT looking forward to English class with Jeremiah. The other day he told me I'm lazy because I don't write him enough! Lol. I don't have to dedicate my life to talking to him! The contrary in fact! I feel like I can't get away from him...
Well, I need to call work and get my hours for this week. I got off last weekend because I went down to South Texas, but I'm sure I'll make up for it this week. *sigh* Oh well, I can always use the money! Lol.
Well, sciene is calling my name, and I'm afraid it won't just go away, even though I pray that it will. It never happens. Lol. Okay, see ya!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, December 21st, 2003

Subject:Hiya!
Time:6:32 pm.
Mood: excited.
Music:tv noise.
I'm back! The weekend went swell, and it was so good to see the family again. Especially my cousins who I don't see too often. It was so good to see my favorite cousin in the whole word, Ashley, again. Her and Will's wedding is set for March 12...two days after I leave for Italy!!! No!!! I want to go to her wedding so bad! *sigh* Oh well, I guess I'll have to make up for it somehow. But I don't know how...
I saw Rainer today! He's finally down! Hurray! He said I've changed, but in a "very good way". Lol. Yippee!! We're going to get together at least once before he leaves for home again. Damn, it sucks he'll only be here until the 3rd of January. Oh well, maybe he'll come to college here or something. You never know!
Well, I'm hooking Brain up with Rachel! It's official. He just doesn't know it yet. Lol. Yay! This'll be fun! :) I love playing cupid! But first, I'm going to make sure Brian's single. I would hate to mess up his love life. >:) He he. Lol. That was evil....
Alrighty, everyone be good!
Paige
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Friday, December 19th, 2003

Subject:Hmmm...
Time:10:08 am.
Mood: busy.
Music:video game music :)~.
Well, we're leaving for South Texas today! We're going down to Houston for Dad's side of the family Christmas. Yay! Time for presents! Oh ya, and food of course! Lol. We'll be back on Saturday though, so when I get back, I'll write something a little longer. Bye!
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, December 18th, 2003

Subject:Grrr...
Time:1:57 pm.
Mood: angry.
Music:Headstrong-Trapt.
Well, I'm trying this again...we'll see if it works this time. Lol. Why my blurty got deleted last time I don't know. Oh well...
Man my mom pissed me off earlier. Rachel called and asked if I wanted to go Christmas shopping with her, and so I asked Mom and she was like, no, because you didn't get your homework done yesterday like you were supposed to, and plus we're getting ready to leave tomorrow for South Texas. So ya, that made me really mad becuase I don't see Rachel much at all, and I really need to get out of this freakin house. Grr...
I guess that's life for ya. Sucky. :( I don't have to work this weekend! Yay. Actually, I kinda want to work, because the next time I got in I get a section to myself. We'll see how that goes. Plus, I wanna see Brian since he wasn't there on at the Christmas party. :) Hehe. See ya!
-Paige
Comments: Add Your Own.

Blurty for Paige.

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