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Blurty for Ally.
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| Sunday, April 18th, 2004 |
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Inspirational quote of the day: "Pirates have way too much time on their hands" - Rat |
| Wednesday, April 14th, 2004 |
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| Last week at my sister's high school a guy wandered on campus and got off with himself in the parking lot while he watched some girl change in her car. They haven't found out who it is yet. This is serious business, do you hear me?!! A serial tosser is on the loose!!! ANYONE could be his next victim!!!!! Well, anyone except for Mrs. Knoff, that is...the sight of her chins jiggling as she eats a double double is enough to give anyone a lifelong case of impotency |
| Monday, April 12th, 2004 |
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| My sister is typing in her room and it sounds like an elephant stampede. It's 12:16 in the morning, apparantly the PERFECT time to write a paper. While she's at it, why doesn't she turn on some music to REALLY get the party started?!! Oh wait I spoke too soon, she just turned on the radio. COME OVER GUYS, EVERYONE'S INVITED TO MY HOUSE FOR AN EARLY MORNING JOURNALISM/DANCE PARTY!!! Be sure to BYOB!!!! And by BYOB, I mean Bring Your Own Big fat typewriter to ensure that NO ONE in this house even thinks about having the nerve to try and get more than two minutes of sleep |
| Sunday, April 11th, 2004 |
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Joe sent me a text message today that said "have a happy easter". It was cute because it was like a command. Sir, yes sir. Last night my sister called the house around 12:05 or something and said, "I'M IN THE DRIVEWAY, GET IN THE CAR!!!" So I ran and got some shoes on and when I got in the car she said "Lent is officially over, its time for HAMBURGERS" like a woman who had MADE UP HER MIND. Far be it from me to get in the way of anyone on a fast food mission, I'm just not that type of person, so I sat down and buckled up and we drove to Jack in the Box. When we got there I said, what, are you buying or something? because she hadn't told me to bring any money. So she said yes, and I said good, I'm getting a combo. Which was a joke as all their combos nearly cost as much as a steak dinner. This of course nearly sent her off the deep end. So I ended up just getting a Jumbo Jack. Well, that was THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I HAVE MADE ALL MONTH. And might I remind you that it is the 11th and there has been plenty of time for mistakes. I can absolutely positively 100% promise you that as long as I live I will (probably) never eat another hamburger again. They are barf-tastic The end of my journal........for today |
| Saturday, April 10th, 2004 |
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| I needed to go somewhere new to do my homework today because my house is too loud and the library is too quiet. So I went to the laundromat but unfortunately they changed the hours and it was closed "due to vandalism". Why people can't just be content with just doing some astronomy homework in the laundromat late at night is beyond me. Oh no, they have to one up me and draw on the wall and break the soda machine and act like juvenille deliquents. Therefore I had to go study in the doughnut shop instead. Because the situation caught me off guard, I didn't have time to get my badge and police officers uniform and I was forced to go into the shop dressed like a civillian. So I bought a Snapple, which I hate, except maybe the lime/green tea one is okay I GUESS, but I had to do it so I could sit in there and study. I took a seat next to these two senior citizens. They seemed really nice and friendly and laid back. They were talking about not taking enough B-12 and losing weight and life support and stuff like that. I really thought it was cool how matter-of-fact they were about life. I hope when I am elderly I have loads of cool doughnut buddies like that. I'm already picking up on the lingo, as you will notice I took the liberty to use the phrase "juvenille deliquents" near the top of my paragraph |
| Saturday, April 3rd, 2004 |
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Today Michael sang Coheed + Cambria over my answering machine. The part where it goes, "SCREAM LOUD, SCREAM SAYONARA...SWEET JOSEPHINE, WILL YOU FOLLOW ME HOME?!" It was great I'm drinking lime coke. It's much better than lemon coke, I think. |
| Tuesday, March 16th, 2004 |
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some random guy with a little black hoodie and some chucks, you know the type, came up to my car today and said 'i like your hair, its pretty' it was dope as heck |
| Monday, March 8th, 2004 |
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| this boy drove all the way to clairemont to eat lunch with me today. we had rolled tacos in this little mexican restaurant and shared a soda with two straws in it. it was really cute |
| Tuesday, February 24th, 2004 |
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| So I'm off my hippie/mid-life crisis thingy. The good news is it only lasted about 48 hours and the bad news is, it lasted 48 hours. Anyways life is back to normal and Andy and I have elaborated on our scheme to pick up the sign-twirler in front of Cocos. In case the plan goes awry I am going to be sitting in this nearby tea shop with backup. To ensure that I don't blow our cover, I'm going to be incognito with binoculars and a Birds of North America book. People bird watch in tea shops all the time, right?! It's foolproof |
| Tuesday, February 10th, 2004 |
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Andy: my teacher was telling me that she went to a valentines party where everyone had to dress up as an std Andy: i think she was gonarrhea or something Me: how does that work? Andy: i dunno, i guess you either make a costume of the sores all over your body or you dress up in a penis suit with the sores on it or something Me: HAHAHHA Me: i would die before i wore that in public Me: can you imagine your car running out of gas on the way to the party Me: and hopping out at the gas station Andy: IN A GIANT PENIS SUIT Andy: HAHAHAHHAHAA Andy: ON VALENTINES DAY Me: that would be the ultimate nightmare Andy: LOL Andy: i would laugh Andy: i would be laughing so hysterically i wouldnt be able to move Andy: i'd just sit there in my car laughing Me: i would crawl into the trunk Me: or better yet just walk to the gas station naked, that would be much less embarassing Andy: i'd like open the door and go rolling out of the car, laughing and i'd go rolling out into the street or something Me: hahahahahahhahaa Me: i can see it on the news Me: there's an arial view from the chopper and i'm like, "is that andy?!!" Me: bahahahahahahaha Andy: LOL and then i go like rolling away, giggling uncontrollably while i get chased by cops or something Me: ahh yes i can see it now Me: theyre like, "today there was an interstate penis chase on the I-15" |
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i'm either having a midlife crisis or i'm turning into a hippie. lately i've had the incredible urge to tell everyone how much i love them and send them flowers and crap. well only a few people are going to recieve the crap, the rest are going to get the flowers and the love. also i've had the incredible urge to get married lately. which is an awful, awful thing. in fact if my astronomy teacher asked me to marry him tomorrow i'd run out to the car, grab his walker, and head to the nearest church, and by night we'd be sitting together watching reruns of i love lucy in the retirement home i assume he lives in. to be honest, i think the reason i want to get married is because i need some romance in my life. i'm not a freakin nun okay. on a related note... this sunday my friend andy and i are going to go pick up on the sign twirling guy at cocos. here is the plan thus far: Andy: you should go out to breakfast with us at cocoas this sunday, you know those guys that are hired to throw the signs up in the air? Me: yes? Andy: ok ok theres this guy that we always watch from the window of coaoas and he is so hot Me: alright, i'm there Andy: i told my sister that this sunday we were gonna dress really cute and try and go to talk to him but i dunno, he might be annoyed at us disturbing him at his work Me: i feel a mission coming on Me: here's the plan: i'll dress as a traffic cop and try to hook you two up Me: we're going to need a orange day glo vest and a stop sign Andy: yes you must come with us to spy on him Me: this is beginning to sound very illegal Me: like we're going to be looking through the window of cocos with night vision goggles or something Andy: hmm i'm not sure how we should go about doing this Andy: he might be kinda creeped out if we drive up for the sole purpose of talking to him Andy: but we should do it anyways Me: i totally agree Me: we need a good pickup line Andy: hmm Me: how about "hey baby you can twirl my sign anytime" Me: wait, NO, that sounds awful Andy: yeah Me: he might call the cops Andy: we could just go up to him and be like hi Andy: ... Andy: ... Andy: and then sit there and look at him Andy: ...... Andy: that might be equally as creepy though Me: hmm, it might get awkward Andy: i could just be like hi, you're cute Andy: can i have your phone number Me: oh, thats good!! i like that one Me: yeah, thats really good!! Me: wait wait wait i've got it!!!! Me: we'll make a posterboard sign of your phone number Me: and you can get on the corner across from his and start throwing it in the air |
| Saturday, January 31st, 2004 |
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Weekend Update: Bought some Jammie Dodgers yesterday and although I only meant to eat a few they were gone before I even got home. Went to a farmers market. Finally bought a pink Maneki Neko. Went to Mexico and bought a really nice bracelet. Went to a museum. Very close to beating Super Mario 2. Got some really nice tea from my dad. Saw a movie. You know. |
| Sunday, January 18th, 2004 |
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| Inspirational quote of the day: "You're only as ugly as everyone else thinks you are" |
| Monday, January 12th, 2004 |
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| Inspirational quote of the day: "Laryngitis means never having to say you're sorry" |
| Sunday, January 11th, 2004 |
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| Had a great week. Last Saturday Ryan and I went out for sushi, went to the arcade to play bubble bobble, won some tickets and split a candy prize, then he took me out to lunch, we went ice skating and then he took me out to dinner, went back to my house to play Donkey Kong Country and then we went to his house and watched movies until 3 am. Today Akemi and I got Thai food, played mah jong, ate cookies and watched movies, and played dance dance revolution in my garage. After Akemi left there was a Chinese take-out box on my counter so I tied it to my head and said hey, guess who I am!! Then I said, "Sumo wrestlers are revered within their own culture, Eddy"...my brother laughed pretty hard which was the goal so now that my work downstairs is finished I am going upstairs to play Donkey Kong some more and kick some monkey butt |
| Friday, January 9th, 2004 |
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| I just got over having a two-day headache. It all began on Wednesday when we were making colcannon for dinner. My mom burned her hands on the potatoes which made me think, I SHOULD DANCE!!! So then I shook it like a polaroid picture. Until I smashed my head on something. Which was when the headache began. Later that night, I decided I should dye my hair red, so I put the dye in my hair and started painting my toenails while I waited for it to set. Well, the smell of the dye and the nailpolish combined was a little more overpowering than I had expected. So I opened the bathroom window and shut the door so the fumes wouldn't wake everyone up. This was when I realized I had gotten the hair dye all over the back of the bathroom door. Which was not a plesant surprise as my mother had specifically told me, "make sure you don't get any hair dye on the back of the bathroom door". So I ran downstairs and got some paint out of the garage to repaint the bathroom door. It only took me a little over ten minutes but needless to say the fumes were quite...pungent. Somehow I managed not to get high but the headache lasted up until this morning |
| Wednesday, January 7th, 2004 |
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In a letter from my friend Rat: "I've brought our tradition of stealing Carls Jr numbers up here and modified it. Ok, here's how it started: my friend Eric always says, 'State law: blah blah blah (insert some stupid fact here)' such as, 'state law: you have to let me have the front seat because I have acid reflux disease'. So, one night I was at this coffee shop and I had to go to the bathroom. I went inside and there was this sign on the wall that said 'State law requires that you wash your hands'. Thus, my impulse was sparked. I ran outside and got a screwdriver out of my car. I found some girl I kind of knew and had her be my watchman. We went in the bathroom and locked the door. I ripped that thing out of the wall after about three minutes and stuffed it down the front of my pants. This was sign Number One. I have made this a nightly thing. I have all of Sacramento mapped out with the tools required for each location. The Togo/Baskin Robbins are the easiest because they always have one person bathrooms with signs. I only have about three but I'm slowly working my way up. It's my new hobby. I'll send you some sometime" |
| Tuesday, January 6th, 2004 |
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| My mom has started crying again almost every single day. Some days it seems like she has everything together and she's fine and then the next day she's so upset, the only other time she cried more than this was when my dad walked out on us. I'm really worried. Sometimes I think about leaving but when it comes down to it, I'm all she has and I could never do that. I used to watch that movie About A Boy all the time because I felt like Marcus but lately it's stopped cheering me up. I haven't really talked to my sister since her atm robbery/faked suicide episode. My dad and I have never been able to talk. I have nightmares all the time. Sometimes I have great dreams but they only make things worse because it depresses me to get up. I think this is what my aunt is talking about when she says 'it can only get better' |
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| New year's is in about two weeks, I can't wait. Last new years was incredibly brilliant - I ate some wintermelon for the first time and upchucked in a trash can. The trash can had been strategically placed outside a restaurant, so people could get a view. AND DID THEY GET A VIEW!!! I think the manager was actually kind of amused and possibly wanted to hire me for dinner entertainment but it was hard to tell, I wasn't paying attention to anything he was saying, there were so many veins bulging out of his head at once it was all I could really think about. Ha ha ha. Anyways, this year I have sparklers and all that cool stuff, seriously, I don't know if I can wait two more weeks |
| Monday, January 5th, 2004 |
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| I am so glad that I can constantly expand my repertoire of ways I get people to hate me. Because I decided to make a stupid comment about Dr. Frank's webpage now not only can I say I have people in California who hate me but I'm honored to announce I have expanded my legacy of hatred across America |
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Blurty for Ally.
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