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al tate's Journal

13th August, 2004. 12:43 am. me.

people suck and i'm gonna always be alone. fuck it and fuck everyone.

Current mood: blank.
Current music: the germs.

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28th July, 2004. 1:25 am. sorry!

it's been forever since i posted on here. i went to florida last week, it was so fun. i went with my cousins and a couple of their friends and my brother. we went to busch gardens, y bor city, the yankees game and the beach. it was a blast. all is pretty good, work and band and stuff. still no girl. fuck it. i got a tarantula named ritchie dagger. -aldoe

Current mood: calm.
Current music: machine head- through the ashes of empires.

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24th June, 2004. 4:37 am. she did it

i'm fucking done. i've lost all hope. the girl who made me so happy because she was different from every other girl just pulled the same shit. i can't believe it. it was too good to be true. i thought i could be happy.

Current mood: depressed.
Current music: damage plan.

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14th June, 2004. 3:06 am. still going

i've been talking to her since before my last post...this is one special girl. we think exactly the same things. she types exactly what i'm typing, but she's just faster. -aldoe

Current mood: happy.
Current music: outkast- hey ya.

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14th June, 2004. 12:07 am. oh my god.

the girl i told you about last night just told me she's attracted to me. i didn't even bring it up. she couldn't tell that i was attracted to her. when i look into her eyes, i'm hers. i want to be with her. i'm not gonna tell her that yet unless she brings it up. i'm amazed. -aldoe

Current mood: ecstatic.
Current music: the meatmen- blowjobs ain't cheating.

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13th June, 2004. 2:40 am. a long time

it's been a while so i'll sum it up. kristine turned into a royal bitch who i can now do without in my life. on the flip side, there's this girl who sings for a band i've seen who's filling in for the murder junkies show and she's really good and gorgeous. i've been talking to her a lot and she keeps hugging me and we make eye contact in the way kristine and me never did. i've been thinking about this girl non-stop. she's amazing. she does some drugs and drinks but her personality, looks, and talent more-than make up for it. we hung out wicked late and she got really close to me. we're hanging out monday night and she may crash here. with kristine i think i was just hoping she would like me and creating more things in common and connections that didn't really exist, i just wanted them to. this girl just looks at me and i melt. we played a show tonight and she hugged me twice. i'm in awe of her. there's more that i'm too lazy to list. -aldoe

Current mood: optimistic.
Current music: down for the count.

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5th June, 2004. 4:53 am. sorry!

it's been a while since i've updated. i've been working lately and my band played an awesome show with the best bands in our scene. there was a good turnout and we played well. i paited myself like indian warpaint. then we went to denny's. i don't know what's up....missy and me have been getting a lot closer. her and mike are kindof seperating and her and me are talking more. kristine is so on and off between flirting real bad one time we hang out to being a bitch the next time. perhaps when she flirts and i don't put the moves on her she thinks i don't like her so next time she distances herself? maybe all of this is a sign i'm supposed to get back with missy? when i'm alone with missy, it feels like i might have feelings for her. i don't know if it's real or just that i haven't been with anyone in so long and i need attention. so many variables are entering my love live and i'm getting further away from a girlfriend. god damn.... -aldoe

Current mood: confused.
Current music: tool-third eye.

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2nd June, 2004. 12:15 am. not much

nothing has really been going on. working with mike on the practice area and a lot of hanging out. i've seen shrek 2 twice, it's real funny. kristine has been showing more signs of interest. it might be good. who knows. work has been slow. -aldoe

Current mood: content.
Current music: type o negative- slow, deep, and hard.

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23rd May, 2004. 11:22 pm. nothing good

i worked today which consisted of changing jewelry for a girl and sitting around. got paid and hung out at mike's. nothing good. -aldoe

Current mood: calm.
Current music: white stripes- de stijl.

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23rd May, 2004. 1:56 am. long time

sorry it's been a while. lots of work and band stuff. our singer decided to tell us he can't play what's gonna be our biggest show to date because he has wrestling camp which was planned after i had the tickets to the show. i'm pissed. this is like my favorite band we're supposed to open for, the murder junkies. we have to find someone else to sing or mike and i will. hung out with kristine, mike, and missy a few times. it's weird because mike and missy are affectionate and kristine and me just sit there. i wish i could just cuddle with her or something. i really want to be with her. she doesn't seem to mind being close to me, but that could mean nothing. i want to kiss her so bad, but we haven't really locked eyes. we make eye contact but she hasn't given me "the look". maybe it's just timing and i don't have it. hopefully i'll get the look soon, then i'll know.

Current mood: distressed.
Current music: pantera- vulger display of power.

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