Thursday, April 21st, 2005
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11:38 am - I turn people gay..
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I found out last night that Ray came out of the closet.
Aside from that, I just finished acting class for good. I had my monologue final today and I did awesomely.
current mood:  relieved
current music: Angra - Carry On
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005
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12:35 am
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I got some stuff accomplished today I guess. I went to the bank and then went and spent alot of it. Meh. I dislike how people act towards each other. I hate how everyone tries to impress everyone else. I hate how it takes tragedies to make people pay attention to each other. I don't understand why I'm expected to like other people when they couldn't give a shit about me. I'm sitting in a room with 4 other people and their presence annoys the hell out of me and kinda makes me sad, even though I barely know them.
current mood:  gloomy
current music: food network
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Thursday, January 27th, 2005
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1:51 am
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I'm kind of sick and I don't know if I'm going to be able to get to class tomorrow. I really feel like shit now and I don't think the morning will be better. I just pass out at random times during the day because of my damned cold medicine.
Seymour Hersh is on the Daily Show and Jon Stewart is really pissing him off, even though they're on the same side. I can't believe the fucking government is deciding to go after Iran .. after all the shit that's been going on in Iraq you think they would have learned a lesson by now.
current mood:  sick
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Sunday, January 9th, 2005
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11:22 pm
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I have no faith in the human race.
current mood:  disappointed
current music: [adult swim]
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, January 5th, 2005
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12:45 am
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Random word association: spork, farmer, american gothic, posters, spencers, mall, staten island, landfill.
Convo with Angela:
Concrete embrace (12:21:47 AM): mcdonalds sucks
Crypticknight77 (12:22:05 AM): ive heard but athis point im willing to try anything for a steady paycheck
Concrete embrace (12:24:35 AM): wear a hat?
Concrete embrace (12:24:39 AM): hehe
Crypticknight77 (12:24:56 AM): yes....even wear a hat
Concrete embrace (12:25:35 AM): even wear gloves?
Concrete embrace (12:25:45 AM): even dress up as spongebob?
Concrete embrace (12:25:51 AM): with a dildo?
Concrete embrace (12:25:56 AM): strapped to his face?
Crypticknight77 (12:26:06 AM): lol......why not...ive embarrassed myslef worse ways in my life
Concrete embrace (12:26:12 AM): hrmm
Concrete embrace (12:26:25 AM): then we might be able to strike a deal
Crypticknight77 (12:29:18 AM): and why do we need this?
Concrete embrace (12:29:40 AM): i need it because..
Concrete embrace (12:29:42 AM): uhm
Concrete embrace (12:30:29 AM): jesus is telling me to build an ark
I realized before that SVA isn't so bad. It's made me crazier.
Another random word association: fragment, english, mrs. mulholland, st. ephrem, brendan, godspell, crap.
current mood:  crazy
current music: Pantera - Primal Concrete Sledge
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, December 29th, 2004
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10:37 pm
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Today was horrible. Past horrible..
Some fucking old guy ran out of Girlprops with a ring turnstile. I fucking followed him but wasn't sure what he looked like so I just went back to the store. The cops had to come and I didn't get out of the fucking store until 930 and it closed at 800. Cora was pissed as hell and was screaming shit in the background while Nikki was talking to Pam.
Aside from today, I've been kinda sad recently. The semester ended and I've been just sitting around and going to work. John's leaving in a week to go on vacation with his parents and then I'll have absolutely no one to hang out with and I'll just be miserable by myself.
The Cosby Show sucks as well.
current mood:  aggravated
current music: The Cosby Show
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, December 18th, 2004
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7:07 am
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I do believe in destiny.. not that every single thing you do is pre-determined, but that there are certain things in your life that must happen and how you get there is your own choice.. and one of those moments just happened. The dark orange sunlight is just hitting the walls of my dorm room and I think I might have to get another roll of film in my camera. I can hear the sounds of the city waking up.. even John is starting to stir. It's natural instinct to wake at dawn. I did every single day when I was younger. When I started sleeping late, I still woke as soon as the first light of day appeared at my window... and now I don't even have to wake up, I'm still awake from the night before..
current music: Damien Rice - I Remember
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, December 15th, 2004
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6:28 am
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Music is the only thing that can make me completely happy. Good music, that is.
current mood:  awake
current music: Subhumans - Minority
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, December 8th, 2004
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2:28 am - Hehehe
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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
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Neil arm strong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson fucks little boys.
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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and grocery bags?
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One is made of plastic and hazardous to small children...
the other is used to carry food home from the supermarket.
____________________________
Bwahahahaha!!!
current mood:  mischievous
current music: The Distillers - Sick of It All
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Monday, December 6th, 2004
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2:16 am - In the words of:
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"Never go out with a guy in a band... especially metalheads." - Ethel Alegria
current mood: gloomy
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(comment on this)
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Friday, December 3rd, 2004
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12:08 am - This is fucked up
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John isn't answering his phone. He was talking to me and then suddenly left to hang out with those Delaware fucks. Well it's now an hour and a half later and I'm depressed as shit and I fucking want to talk to my fucking boyfriend!! WHY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!
Okay.
I'm okay.
Really. I am.
current mood: pissed off
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, December 1st, 2004
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2:29 pm
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"I will not give up, life is wild and sweet and I do not know it yet; it is a melody, a shout, a cry from distant forests, from undiscovered horizons, in unknown nights - I will not give up..."
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(comment on this)
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2:17 pm
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I hate waking up early. Granted it's 2:17 in the afternoon but it's still early for me. When I wake up I realize how alone I am and it really depresses me. I wish John was here so I could be happy. I wish I had a friend even. The only person here I actually hang out with is Bren, and I'm still not so sure that's a good idea. But when I hang out with him I'm happy because I'm finally not alone, I'm finally out doing something and I'm not being a hermit...because that's what I am really. I just don't think people are worth talking to. I have so much work to do today and absolutely no motivation to do it. I think I'm going to call John in a little while just because I need to hear his voice and I need him to tell me it'll be okay. I hope he doesn't have class .. I can't wait until he comes back and I can see him whenever. I really don't want to be alone anymore.
current mood:  lonely
current music: Something Ali's playing.
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5:58 am - Late Night Confessions
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I wish I was thin and attractive and self confident.
I laughed hysterically for a half hour the first time someone told me I ruined their life.
I hate Republicans. I think they're stupid, self-centered, bible-humping, self-righteous hicks that populate the earth the same way roaches do... sorry mom and dad.
I love it when I can't tell the difference between my hair and his when I see it on my pillow.
George Foreman gets much more credit than he deserves. His "new grill" had removable grill plates that makes cleaning easier ...my question is "How the fuck are you supposed to clean the old one?"
As I watch the shows I saw as a kid, I can't believe I was stupid enough to like them.
There are so many things I've meant to do and I don't think I will ever be happy unless I do them.
It passed from November into December without me noticing.
I hate the "mushy, learn a lesson, touching moment" music at the end of Full House.
I'm so obsessive about keeping movie tickets but I throw out the ones for movies I went to by myself. Maybe it's not the tickets I'm obsessed with.
I think it's funny how I get motivated and write up a to-do list ...and then throw it out the next afternoon when I wake up late.
I wish I could be as religious as I used to.
The soundtrack from that new movie "Closer" gave me chills.
I don't brush my teeth at night.
When I'm sleeping a nuclear holocaust could not wake me.
Getting through the day drains me.
In the state of California you have to be 15 to drive. That's ridiculous.
I hate Christmas music but I like to go carolling.
I dream of loud, colorful, drunken nights and the following morning in a sleazy motel.
I wish there was something special about me.
I wish I was cool.
I wish people were worth talking to.
"Uptight...paranoid...whatever."
I love how when he sleeps he looks like a little boy again.
I want to be destroyed and then recycled.
current mood:  complacent
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Monday, November 15th, 2004
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8:04 pm
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I haven't updated in a really long time. I'm fucking freezing cold right now..the window's open but it'd be too hot if it was closed. I really have to clean this desk .. such a mess. I'm watching Corky Romano on Comedy Central and it sucks ass... it is seriously the stupidest movie I've ever seen. I saw Megadeth on Wednesday at Roseland and on Friday at The Electric Factory in Philly. The Roseland show was alright .. the venue sucks so that makes a big difference. The Philly show kicked ass though ... but I had to sit in a bus station all night until we could get back to New York. Despite it all I still had a good night with John .. he's been in New York since Wednesday and just left a few hours ago. I have a fever right now ... I missed my classes today.. I felt horrible about it. Ever since school started I've just been feeling like shit. I miss high school .. it was so fucking simple. I didn't have to do shit and I got kickass grades. My life is just falling apart here. I miss seeing John all the time, I miss my friends, I miss spending every moment of highschool in the art room watching movies and eating popcorn. I miss waiting outside of Xavier for John to get out of band practice, and going to Cris', and making fun of Ryan all the time, and staying at John's house every weekend and watching TV on the couch, and just having a good time and being in love.
John is coming back on Thursday and we're going to go see Marilyn Manson!!! For the first time ever I'm finally going to see Manson! I can't fucking wait at all .. I'm really really psyched. I just have to get someone to cover my shift at work but that shouldn't be a problem... they're all pretty cool people.
Ugh I have a fever and I think the worst thing I could do is watch this fucking movie because it just makes my head hurt. And outside in the common room they're listening to rap .. god help us.
current mood: sick
current music: TV and shitty rap music
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Monday, November 8th, 2004
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6:47 pm - The unhappiest club on earth....
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The Overweight Club!!! hahah I just saw a commercial for CortiSlim that actually calls obese people members of the Overweight Club: The unhappiest club on earth. That's so fucking retarded.
Well anyway, I just had my English midterm which was fucking long and some of it didn't make much sense. I still think I did okay though .. I'm watching Crossballs right now and it's pretty funny hehe. John's mother is going to be here soon because she's dropping off tickets for the Megadeth show on Wednesday, which John's coming back for. He just left yesterday and I already miss him so much. At least he's coming back Wednesday and I get to see him this weekend too. And then at the end of the semester he's coming back!! I really can't wait for that.. it's going to be awesome.
MMMMM turkey burgers.
current mood: content
current music: Crossballs
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Friday, October 29th, 2004
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1:16 am
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Today at work I was called stupid and I was worked till I almost died. I have cramps and am in serious pain. John is coming home tomorrow but I have to work so fuckin much this weekend. I really want to spend time with him but I really need the money for food, clothing, art supplies, and random other shit. Fuck, I wish I didn't have to work. I really need some time to spend with John.
I have to wake up soon so I'm going to go to sleep... pretty early for me actually.
Note to self: Get the Best of Live on November 2 because they fucking rock.
current mood:  cold
current music: Live - Dolphin's Cry
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Thursday, October 28th, 2004
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2:55 am
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I'm going to be working so much next week and on Halloween and everything... John's coming back this weekend and it's supposed to be our weekend together but I have to work so much.. this really sucks. At least John is going to try to stay until Tuesday. I miss him so much I don't know what to do with myself. I have class tomorrow morning .. I should get to sleep.
current mood:  crappy
current music: watching Family Guy
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Monday, October 25th, 2004
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8:00 pm - Yargh.
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Today kind of sucked .. nothing was so bad and nothing was that good ... kind of like purgatory hehe. I had class from 9-2 (Intro to Animation) which was sooo fucking boring. I animated a sack walking around .. sounds like a fucking party right? Then I had to get my ass to the bank where they were being complete assholes to me and made me late for my Literature class which also sucked ass. I went to Outback after class and got a salad and some mashed potatoes and now I'm sitting here bored out of my fucking mind. I don't have class tomorrow, which means I should be out doing something interesting ...but I'm not because I'm a loser with no friends. I think I'm going to sleep for a little while...
current mood:  bored
current music: :Wumpscut: - Christfuck
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3:21 am
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John left today, I went to work, hurt my back, came back and was going to do homework but I didn't for some reason. Watched AdultSwim, the Southpark movie, the Warstorm video again... ate some popcorn, drank some soda ...I'm really cold and sleepy but don't feel like moving from this spot. I miss John so I keep looking at the picture he gave me. I should sleep now .. I have to wake up for class in 4.5 hours.
current mood:  sleepy
current music: Bauhaus - Bela Lugosi's Dead
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