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Sunday, November 23rd, 2003

    Time Event
    3:43p
    The latest report from Schnecksville...
    Unfortunately Jess is currently very ill; hopefully she will be recovering ASAP. It really sucks that she's sick. Other than being worried about that, I've been relatively busy, with work and whatnot. I found some absolutely wonderful records from 50s or 60s Taiwan at Goodwill the other day. One is called "Television Songs of Heavenly Melody," and consists of Chinese-language versions of well-known Christian hymns; apparently it's from some kind of televangelist show. The other two are of straightforward Taiwanese and Chinese music, although inexplicably arranged for a mix of Chinese and Western instruments. Imagine the sound of pipa, electric lap steel guitar (in imitation of the qin?), sanxian, piano, and accordion... The accordion solos remind me of Cajun music. And a friend of mine from Ratebeer.com, "Fly," sent me a kickass CD that he burned, mostly African stuff but with detours to Jamaica, Bali, China, Finland, and elsewhere. I will get my revenge upon him with a CD of various Balkan music and other such tomfoolery when I get around to it.

    Current Mood: worried
    Current Music: Linton Kwesi Johnson, "Mi Revalueshanary Fren"
    4:22p
    More info on the records...
    Apparently the Taiwanese "Television Songs of Heavenly Melody" album cannot be from before 1963, as that was when the show first aired according to the internet. For a variety of reasons, I therefore find it safe to assume that therefore neither of the other two records (which I forgot to mention were pressed on colored clear plastic) are from before 1963.
    6:41p
    7:41p
    Ah, the cultural sensitivity of times past...
    I don't condone racism at all, but this is pretty fecking hilarious.

    http://www.player-care.com/ching-chong.html

    Scroll down to the hilarious lyrics. If you can hear the MIDI file, note how remarkably un-Chinese it sounds... There's also a link to a MP3 of an actual player piano performing the song.

    Incidentally, Jess has strep throat, and apparently caught it just in time to avoid complications. She should be better soon.

    And on "King of the Hill," which for some reason is on the TV right now Hank was just listening to Aqualung. Jethro Tull rocks!
    8:56p
    something Jess sent me
    Jess got this from someone, and recommended that I fill it out. It sounded like a rather amusing thing to do.


    If I were a month I would be: November, when things get nice and cool out.

    If I were a day of the week I would be: Sunday, when they show a good number of weird cartoons.

    If I were a time of day I would be: Mid-afternoon, when it's best for walks and whatnot.

    If I were a planet I would be: Tralfamadore. (Vonnegut rules!)

    If I were a sea animal I would be: a giant squid.

    If I were a direction I would be: North.

    If I were a piece of furniture I would be: Marcel Breuer's famous "Wassily" chair.

    If I were a sin I would be: lust.

    If I were a historical figure I would be: Rinzai, founder of the most vicious and bizarre school of Zen. Thwack!

    If I were a liquid I would be: Cantillon Gueuze (Belgian lambic beer).

    If I were a tree I would be: #5, the Larch.

    If I were a bird I would be: a Javanese Rice Finch. I dunno why.

    If I were a tool I would be: a socket wrench.

    If I were a flower/plant I would be: Hops.

    If I were a kind of weather I would be: overcast.

    If I were a mythical creature, I would be: an odradek. (http://www.hum.au.dk/romansk/borges/vakalo/zf/html/body_the_odradek.html)

    If I were a musical instrument, I would be: an early Moog synthesizer.

    If I were an animal, I would be: a badger. I've always liked and identified with them for some reason, simultaneously friendly and antisocial with a liking for undergroud places.

    If I were a color, I would be: infrared.

    If I were an emotion, I would be: a sense of aloof amusement.

    If I were a vegetable, I would be: Nappa cabbage. Mmm, kimchi...

    If I were a sound, I would be: a rather low-pitched hum.

    If I were an element, I would be: one of the lanthanide group.

    If I were a song, I would be: well, it would change a lot. Currently "Bedward the Flying Preacher," a cautionary tale about blind religious faith by Jamaican DJ Prince Far-I.

    If I were a movie, I would be: anything by Eisenstein, Kurosawa, or Tarkovsky.

    If I were a book, I would be: Finnegan's Wake. Interminable and baffling.

    If I were a place, I would be: the Kalakuta Republic, musician/dissident Fela Kuti's compound in Lagos, Nigeria.

    If I were a material, I would be: tweed.

    If I were a taste, I would be: curry.

    If I were a scent, I would be: aloe-wood incense.

    If I were a religion, I would be: Either Taoism or Zen.

    If I were a word, I would be: crapulent.

    If I were an object, I would be: a hydrometer.

    If I were a body part I would be: the elbow.

    If I were a facial expression I would be: bewildered.

    If I were a subject in school I would be: English. Or, depending on the school, Advanced Yoruba.

    If I were a cartoon character I would be: My namesake Bender. I drink beer, smoke the occasional cigar, and am frequently sarcastic; and I was doing so before Futurama was on the air. Bite my shiny metal ass!

    If I were a shape I would be: the Shining Trapezohedron. Ia Cthulhu!

    If I were a number I would be: 65. No idea why, it was what first came to mind.

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