saint rita of casia's Blurty

Subject:	i'll be gone (before it happens)
Time:	7:58 am.
Music:	"turn me on" by the shins.

The Good:
1. I'm healthy and plump. Very plump.
2. My hair looks great! I keep having strangers come up and telling me so.
3. I will be done with school in December (as long as I pass everything WHICH I BETTER!)

The Bad:
1. I haven't been to drawing class in a whole week. I feel I'm not very good thus I am useless at this point of the semester. I'll go back with a better set of eyes on Wednesday (once the most recent drawing is turned in).
2. The nightmares are now every night, several a night. They are powerful and upsetting. Bucky woke me up from one on Friday, I must have been yelling out. I woke to him licking my nose and forehead, trying to "calm" me the only way a kitty knows, licking. That cat ... damn, what would I do without him?

The Ugly:
1. My depression is pretending it's on a rollercoaster! Up, down, up, down. I'm mentally and physically worn out. I keep trying to ride it out. I find it best if you just take the ups and downs as they come. If you feel sad, let yourself wallow but only for a little bit, say 30 minutes. Then once your time is up, the wallowing must stop. If you feel happy, just feel it, don't fight it. But lately, mine has just been running me ragged.
2. This Saturday? For real, do I even want to bother showing up for the RM's meeting? Should I even put my time into it? Or will I just be around a bunch of people who hate me and will want me to leave? I just don't know...

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