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Alicia Rose

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Twas the night before Christmas... [24 Dec 2003|10:08pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I've been doing too much damn cooking. I used to love cooking, but I can only spend so many hours in the damn kitchen before it gets to me. Nate wanted cutout cookies, but didn't want to help with that massive project which took two days. Mom needed help with latkes, so I volunteered. I now contend that no one in their right mind ever made these before the age of food processors, sinks, and stoves. They're hard to make even with modern technology. They there was candy to make for some reason. Maybe for guests or something. I am damn tired of cooking.
And wrapping sucks. I'm so bad at it. Why do my parents insist that I help when my wrapping skills are horrendous?
And Christmas music gets on my nerves. At least the stuff with words to it does. The songs to the nutcracker are ok because no stupid lyrics can get stuck in your head.
And if I hear my youngest brother complain about wanting to open his presents "right now" I'm going to scream at him. Can't he wait ten or so freaking hours? He's so spoiled. So is the other one. I think I'm getting sick of being home already.
I can't wait to see my love. I miss him like crazy. I can't take being apart from him like this, especially since we don't talk on the phone. We talk online instead. I have to start pushing for phone conversations or I'm going to start thinking he doesn't exist since I don't hear his voice or see his face. I still love him with all my heart, though. We'll be seeing each other soon, but I can't stand the wait.

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Coffee Talk [22 Dec 2003|11:23am]
So it's morning, kinda, and I am up late as usual. Must learn to fall asleep faster. I have to do more Christmas shopping today, ick. I hate shopping and I hate it even more when it's crowded and I need to find specific items. Maybe I should have gotten this done earlier...oh well.
I feel better from yesterday if you can't tell. Still a little off, but so much better.
This is a boring journal entry, but I had just gotten through reading some other people's journals and decided mine needed something. I guess I should have waited until I had something important to say. Coffee makes me talkative. Maybe after the caffeine hits me I'll have something to tell you all.
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And now some pure rage and pain [21 Dec 2003|06:34pm]
Time to bitch, but I'm not telling what it is about. Make up your own story.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK...SO FUCKING ANGRY AND HURT AND AGGRAVATED!!!! I WISH I COULD JUST TRASH THIS ROOM AND THIS WHOLE FUCKING HOUSE!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! ((slam fists)) GODDAMNIT ALL!!! ((throw jacket and book across room)) WHAT THE FUCK!!! ((push shit off desk)) I WANT TO SLEEP FOREVER AND NOT GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE ABOUT A SINGLE THING!!!

Still don't feel better. I hate this hate this hate this hate this...
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Oh yeah...I have an online journal [20 Dec 2003|09:05pm]
[ mood | productive ]

So I guess it's been awhile. To sum up what I've been doing since my last entries (because I know you are incredibly fascinated), I have done nothing. I guess that would be the best way to describe it. Oh well. Anyway, I have been reading online journals of other people I know. It's my guilty pleasure, like trashy daytime tv. From my readings I have found that it's great to know what others are feeling and doing, but I don't know if I want to do that. I think that instead I'll just have some fun with this. Sure I'll bitch when I have to. It's my journal damnit. Besides, I'm not about to write actual personal stuff in here. If you want to read that you'll have to hunt for my real journal.
It's getting close to Christmas, which puts me in a good mood even though I'm not very religious. Actually, I'm not at all religious. I can't get into that sort of stuff. No offense to any people who do believe there is some mystical man who created everything. I just wonder how people can base their lives off of something that can't be proved. I'm not going to criticize anyone about religion. If they leave my beliefs alone, I'll leave theirs alone as well (but I really have to say that anyone who believes in creation instead of evolution is an idiot, look at the evidence people, stop living in a fantasy world). Sorry, had to rant.
What else do I want to say? Hmmm...This is my first day home, and it hasn't even been a whole day. I am so worried I'll fall into a gloomy trance of boredom. Must make sure I keep a big list of shit to do. Let's try making one now:
1. Knit something (and finish it)
2. Sew something (and finish it)
3. Maybe dye my hair, and get it cut
4. Work out like crazy to fill time
5. See friends, especially my best friend, the one I love
6. Try to reduce my dependence on coffee...it's really wrong to get massive headaches and feel like shit because I don't get a cup of coffee, really wrong
7. Paint something (and finish it)
Suggestions are welcome.

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Been a while... [05 Jul 2003|11:15am]
So just like my real journal, I've been neglecting my entries in this one. I consider this to be a fake journal. I mean who actually wants to post all their deep, private thoughts to anyone with internet access? Not me. I'm in this to occasionally rant, make some comments, or keep track of what I've been up to since I have a terrible memory.
So of course you must be eager to know what I have been up to. Recently I went to the Cape again. I am not a tourist, by the way. Brett and I hung out and had the best time together. We saw some pretty nice fireworks on the fourth. He drove me around as usual. I had to drive myself around while he was at work. His tiny little cousin became my biggest fan and wouldn't let me go. I also got to meet Brett's fascinating and hilarious uncle Ed. I want to have an uncle like that. I've got to tell you people that though you may think that you or someone you know is the wittiest and most intelligent person, you've got nothin on this guy. Even Brett, my god of a man, wishes he could be like his uncle.
I would like to take this time to say that I am the luckiest girl in the world. Ladies, I don't mean to rub it in your face but you might as well give up on your search for the perfect man. I've found him. He's mine mine mine. And you best keep your hands off, too. I may not seem intimidating, but when I get angry...
I don't know why but I had to declare that. Maybe because I already miss my sweetheart and I just got home from a trip to see him.
Target called me about my application, though I wasn't around. Do you think they'll hire me if I tell them I have to take two weeks off in about two weeks? I may have to shorten my annual two-week trip to Maine this year. That's kinda not a bad thing...I mean it is Maine. Maine can be kinda creepy.
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[09 Jun 2003|09:52pm]
Today was yet another plain day. Sorry to sound so negative. I didn't do much, but I did practice driving by going to the bank and the mall. No one was harmed, no cars were damaged. I have no problem driving. It's my mother who doubts my skills. She has seen me drive just fine, yet whenever I say I'm driving to the Cape she gets this tense look on her face and I know she's thinking "now how can I convince her not to?" Oh mom...stop worrying so much. I'm very excited because I get to go see my love tomorrow when he's done with work. I cannot wait at all. No matter what we do together I have fun. He doesn't believe me when I say it, but I am damn lucky to have him. He makes me beyond happy, with his punkish and perverted ways and such.
So while I was at the mall I went into Victoria's Secret, because I'm a female and by law each female must own at least one item from that company. Or maybe it's not a law, it's an instinct...Anyway, I would never buy something from that place when it's not on sale. Twelve bucks for a pair of underwear? No damn way. Knock it down to three and we'll talk. Some of the girls working there looked so skanky. One who came up to me wore more makeup than you would find on a hooker and she probably put it on while she was driving to work because it was pretty sloppy. I don't mean to be so superficial, but she looked awful, plain and simple. I feel terrible for saying that. I appologize.
And do I look like someone you need to follow around a store? I am constantly being followed and watched as if I walk in to every store and say out loud "wow...it's going to be easy to shoplift from this place!" I'm not kidding, I swear this does happen to me. Please, just get off my back while I shop and maybe I won't stuff the merchandise into my purse. I don't really like the mall very much.
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round 2 [08 Jun 2003|07:35pm]
So today went alright...though it didn't feel as productive as the past few have. I get the feeling that all the places I drop applications off at don't actually want to hire anyone. I had the ultimate letdown when BJ's, the one place I thought was desperate for work with it's huge NOW HIRING sign told me they weren't actually hiring, but they would accept applications. They might want to take down that sign. Perhaps someone put it up as a joke.
But anyway, some family came over today. Not all my cousins came, which is too bad because some are near my age and I was hoping I'd have someone to talk to. It's funny how the adults all ignore me and count me as a child, even though I'm 20. I don't like that very much. Being ignored like I'm one of the 9-year-olds is kind of insulting. But hey, I got some birthday money from them and a little bit of conversation. I'll take it.
My sweetheart went fishing today and he's still gone now. I can't wait to talk to him, since that's the highlight of my day each day. Other than that I don't have much else to do. I lead such an exciting life. That's why I started this journal of course. Keep checking up on me to find out what other exhilirating things I find to do, like watch tv or paint my nails. Sorry about the abundance of sarcasm, by the way.
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First Entry, Here Goes [07 Jun 2003|11:15am]
So I decided to try this live journal thing. Stupid livejournal.com wanted me to ask someone for a code or pay, and I decided fuck that. I'm not paying to try this out. Besides, I have no money. As some know I've been desperatly looking for a job. Please someone hire me!!! I'll work my ass off, I swear. I've applied to Marshalls and Pepper's, a catering place in Northborough. Wish me luck. Next on my list are Stop and Shop, Bed Bath and Beyond, and maybe even Ocean State. God, I don't want to work at Ocean State. Someone just give me a damn job already. It's so depressing not having anything to do. The most depressing thing (and here I get sappy) is that I'm away from my love. I miss him so so much. We've seen each other twice so far, but that's not nearly enough. I'm used to seeing him every day for most of the day. Life is so unfair. I'm crazy about him and he knows it. I think he abuses this sometimes, haha. I love that big punk. So I guess I'll let everyone know my basic plans for the summer: working out and jogging, getting a job, seeing Brett as much as possible, and watching lots of awful daytime tv. I wouldn't mind seeing my friends either.
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