David Alex's Journal

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

8:07PM - The Old Life

Even though this is my first official entry, i know what to say.. most people wouldn't.
i've finally had it with everything.. everybody, except for a few people has gotten on my nerves these past two weeks... first of all my birthday was a total wash out.. the only thing i got was a bj and some people who said happy birthday.. thanks to those who said it.. most of the week sucked.. my bf and i broke up, i had two tests and a quiz to study for.. who has time for a proper birthday...
two days after, everything went downhill.. i've been purposely shut out of (----) i won't mention the place and broke many old friendships.. most of my old friends from high school were straight.. now.. where r they?
my wonderful friend Esther is in Hawaii at acting school i've heard.. i haven't heard from her in a long time.. i miss her.. she always used to bring hope to any situation.. her favorite line "No swearing, swearing is evil." everytime i would say something in my anger.. she'd pop that line in.. i also miss her "fare thee well", the classic Mel Brooks line from Robin Hood MenInTights... Jason is working for a nice company in my old territory Camp Hill.. however, his hours don't allow us to talk that much anymore... i just realized. i didn't know any gay people cept one during my high school tenture in Perry County.. maybe it was all the rednecks.. i think i was one of only 10 people in a class of @84 who wasn't originally from Perry County...
The only gay guy i knew during high school was a cutie from Trinity.. Tim.. we met during choir festivals, but never did anything.. with our school and work schedule's we really didn't have time.. plus i lived 30 miles north of Camp Hill/Harrisburg.. i never thought he was gay til i heard it from some loud and obnoxious Trinity sopranos/altos at Singfest in York.. we used to talk a lot.. but not much anymore.. i miss him..
i reviewed my life over the past two weeks, when i had the time.. so.. let's see.. it got fucked up when i was 12.. my gram died and the complete solid-bonded family of mine fell apart.. relationships were broken and the gap between my mom and I started.. Fights happened, including one where my pap almost choked my dad and one where my mom assulted my pap.. high school was no better until i reached 10th grade.. i then made friends because i guess i became a jock.. i played baseball and worked with sports like i do now.. i gave up baseball though, but by my senior yr. i was well trained and became a student coach.. however, most of my friends rich, non-perry county, and not in my grade.. all were straight though.. i don't know if people knew i was gay or not.. it was none of their business i thought.. no one ever asked either..
by 1999, life was back to normal.. the family was taking trips again.. Boston, New Orleans, NYC, and trips to sporting events.. money was in and we were happy again.. the family bond between everybody was back again..
i guess i should explain that when i say family.. i mean aunts, uncles, cousins, kind of like a big sicillian thing.. cept were not sicillian.. but some italian... everybody watches out for everybody else..
i came to back to williamsport in fall 2000 for school.. i was originally from here, but moved in '88... i met new people, straight and gay who i really enjoyed.. everybody was nice.. however, i didn't come out to anybody til my sophmore yr.. the yr i had to leave.. no one cared if i was gay or not... there was this one guy, a soccer player, Jan, my god.. and two of his buddies.. i loved spending time with them.. they were straight, but didn't care.. i actually told Jan how i felt bout him.. things looked up, until Jan got kicked out and stayed in Maryland...
in Jan. 02, i left school to do full time work and repair some minor, but turning major, personal issues in my family.. well.. i think this is long enough..

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