[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Monday, February 16th, 2004|
So- omg - its 3 in the morning. i dont know exactly if i'm bored or tired or pissed off or procrastinating...
#1 I HAVE GOT TO LEARN MY FUCKING FORENSICS PIECES.. i take them out in less than a week and i havent even looked at them... i'm FUCKED!!!! why the hell do i do this to myself? I also have so much homework to make up too! I just dont know what to do!
#2 So freshman totally pissed me off! He calls me friday at 130 in the morning DRUNK off his ass, and wants me to get my happy ass out of bed and pick him up. No, thats not cool. No, you didnt earn points. Then he got caught sneeking in by his parents, so my v-day was shot. so i went to work on v-day instead of doing something romantic, but you know what its okay. my lil nephew Dylan was born on v-day, so i decided that from now on, if i dont have someone or if i do and they just suck, i'll just claim dylan as my valentine! good idea? bad idea? i dont know, but hes a cute baby, and i hate babies and never think they're cute. i hope this boy doesnt become a drug addict or retarded gangsta like his dead-beat father. oh well.
#3 This goes out to someone who wont know what im talking about, but i want to. FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU!!! AND SHUT THE HELL UP BECAUSE I JUST DONT CARE ANYMORE!!! I WASH MY HANDS OF YOU ASSHOLE!!!! :)
I feel better... kinda...
I've been really horny lately. I mean, i COULD just abandon all of my values w/ freshman and just fuck him, but i'd rather not. maybe something will work out, maybe not. i mean, i like him, but he just says stupid things to me that dont make me happy :( and he also does stupid things to, or gets upset of stupid things. i mean really... the whole thing is just..... stupid. i think i just need someone.
I fucking didnt get to see chase this week :( which makes me emo. but maybe its a sign. i dont know...
im tired. i need sleep. Current Mood: blahCurrent Music: Midnight Star - Midas Touch
|Sunday, February 1st, 2004|
|i want life in every word
So before i get into anything, i want to say that i am totally rawking The Postal Service and most importantly the CAMP soundtrack. OMG- i love this girls voice. It comes out Feb 17! Everyone WILL see it damnit! How shall I see you through my tears?...
Okie.. so here we go...
I still really like Chase, but i've totally come to terms that he's too far. I dont need a long distance relationship. i dont. i cant take them anymore. thats all i had last year minus GW and we wont even get into him. BTW- one thing that i really hate in my government class, i always have to hear the teacher say GW instead of George Washington.. damnit.. so then i get all pissed off in gov... neways.. yes so chase. i really do like him, but i just have to FULLY accept the fact that distance is so far his only flaw.
HAha- thanks to sam, totally just made up a new emoticon |#-#| that so far is the BUTCH one. haha...
Freshman- So i went over to his house yesterday, i snuck in. I stayed there for like 5 hours. it was nice, we watched Edward Scissor Hands and made out. lol. it was nice. i accidently gave him a hickie. i didnt mean to!! but yeah, he was a great kisser, a lil sloppy at first, but thats how it goes sometimes, but we're slowly learning how to kiss each other. it happens all the time, you have to get used to how people kiss!! He really likes me, and i like him, but i'm just kind of scared. i dont know what about though. maybe it getting switched around and im left hurt, im so sick of building myself up for nothing. damnit! why do i do that to myself? oh well. more on that subject later.
i have so much homowork, and i keep putting it off. everything is just killing me. School, School work, Work, Forensics, Drama, West Side Story, the dance i have to perform in front of the school (im always having to do everything in front of them. seriously, whats up w/ this bizz?), and etc.. i've taken on too much again.
im gonna go procrastinate... Current Mood: indifferentCurrent Music: Such Great Heights - The Postal Service; CAMP Soundrack
|Sunday, January 25th, 2004|
Zac said this to me:
I just wanted to say this and since I know you won't get it until late, I feel better about doing it now. AB doesn't know what he's missing out on. You once said that he made a choice and that it wasn't you. Well, it was the wrong choice. :-)
Floorset was okay.
My manager was talking about a mess or something and all I caught was her saying "I've seen bigger!" Only me and Abby found it funny. No one else caught it.
So last night...
going away party at andy's.... wasnt that spectacular but it wasnt that horrible. Bad things happened, good things happened, good things that are bad happened. who knows? its a party, its bound to happen. We won't get into that though...
So it feels really good to be back in the game of knowing how to please a girl. thank you. even straight guys can't do it, but the bisexual can? Maybe it's just because we're supposed to know how to do everything right. But i guess if straight guys can't even pull their weight... hmm.
OH! RE-made (?) friends w/ Luke again. I feel like maybe he'll be something good in my life. Friend-wise though. Im gonna need some kind of pick-me-up. but i could be like all my other friends and get on Prozac...
So we totally love Dom DeLuise... Haunted Honeymoon... Gene Wilder, Gilda Radner, Senor DeLuise.... 1986, MGM Studios... go rent it, buy it, something!
Work today. New Floorset. The spring floorset. BTW American Eagle - ITS FUCKING JANUARY!!!! But at least I can wear sandals again.. because you all know that those are a key fashion item when its the time of the year that its supposed to be snowing! Good job hollister too.
Boys suck. OH! so my gaydar was totally right on! I love it. 'Freshman' might either be a new prospect, friend, or f-buddy, but Pickle says he's got some issues and blah blah. But think about it, what gay man DOESNT have issues? OKAY?!
I need to go. I have so much I could be doing right now....
|Wednesday, January 21st, 2004|
Bugger Bugger Bullocks
Hey kids, I'm back.
So yesterday... school...
Chem: Sub, he was okay, better than the last sub we had in there. Apparently I've heard that the bitch who subbed last time has not only sent me to the office, but countless others.
Art: Got my stupid strips done for whatever project mrs. thang has planned
US Gov: Test, i missed like one question. kick fucking ass.
Forensics: Practiced piece w/ meagan. we're going to kill... i hope
After that i dropped off my car to get my mirror fixed. then me and Lindsay went and got chalupas then i worked out then we got chinese food... we're such fat asses. then off to play practice.
It went okay, minus Ryan going Hitler on all of us and pissing off a few other people. I hope someone knocks him off of his high horse.
Strange encounter w/ bonnie and friend. More on that later. Let's see if my gaydar is really up to speed.
My ass woke up sick as hell. I read the rest of my book, and I still haven't even started my damn Hamlet paper. When did i ever get like this?
I also realized that my medicine makes me really emotional. I take everything personal, damnit. I'm watching Reqium For A Dream, trying to fit myself in it. If only I had a drug problem, damnit. Well, I have popped like 10 pills today (not joking).
BTW- I have better things to do, than to make the blind see illusions only created by them. You don't need me. I can't control you, you should know this. Or maybe I should know this. OR I should know that you will only really listen to me. But I don't know why...
|Tuesday, January 20th, 2004|
So this is my first entry. Congradulations. You've become like everyone else online and created a damn journal. Fuck. Oh well...
Well I'd love to go on about my problems and triumphs, but i guess i'm too self concious about putting things for everyone to see. Especially if its about someone. Damnit. Aren't journals supposed to be secret thoughts and shit? Online journals... Its like having a pet rock. It makes no sense.
1. Ex wants me back, want him back... problem: too far; distance; history together
2. Another boy wants to start relationship w/ me, i feel the same... problem: too far; distance
3. Best friend leaving to go to Florida... problem: too far; distance
4. Annoying guy from mall keeps trying to have phone sex with me... problem: he disgusts me; he made fisting un-funny; hes gross
5. I feel like an asshole because of my other Best friend... problem: He makes me feel like i put him in 2nd place, when i dont... but i do...
6. Test that I haven't studied for tomorrow... problem: i dont want to fail the class
7. MY DAMN SIDE MIRROR GOT BROKEN OFF... problem: I feel ghetto when I'm driving
8. Musical, Work, School... problem: I have no time to do anything (ie- drink, be artistic, jerk off)
9. I have too many clothes... problem: No closet space.
10. Too much English homework... problem: No time or enjoyment out of it (thanks carolyn)
Enough about that...
I should talk about happy things...
But i'd rather do that in person
Because everything looks perfect from far away
(The Postal Service - Such Great Heights)
I'm going to bed, night kids. Current Mood: discontentCurrent Music: The Postal Service, The Shins, The Strokes