Blurty for Alisha Hensley.

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Friday, April 23rd, 2004

Time:11:28 am.
Mood: mellow.
Ok. I have a lot of shit to say, well NOT a lot, but shit that is bothering me.

First of all, Cameron and I agreed that we would not bring our *bf or gf* around Aeiden. Well, I'm keeping my end of the agreement up, but Cameron isn't. I told him I didnt like it, but I know there isnt much I can do about it. I'm not gonna be a bitch, but damn. When someone makes an agreement, they need to keep their end of the deal up. God damn. Anyways, the last 2 times he has brought OUR son home, he's had his gf with him. As much as I want to be cool with it. I'm not. It's just not cool at all.

Another thing is, that he is so stuck up Lauren's ass to even spend time with his son. He sees his gf like every damn day and can't even spend 10 minutes with his son. When I take him over there to see him, he goes off somewhere and his parents are the ones that watch and spend time with Aeiden.

It pisses me off, for reasons still not clear. I mean I want to bitch and complain, but in the end, it will all be Cameron's fault when Aeiden doesn't want to go see his daddy. I mean he's the one losing out on the quality bonding time with his son. One of these days, he's going to regret it. But who's fault will it be? Not mine! B/c I've tried to let him spend time with him, but he has more important things in his life to do, like his gf and his band. haha. Anyways.

Oh, and this whole single thing? Well, it's alright, I suppose. I've learned how not to worry about shit, and just let it happen how it's suppose to. I tend to over stress everything.

I'm just taking life easy. Hanging out with friends, going to school, working, spending as much time with Aeiden as I can, unlike some people, lmfao.

Life is going really good right now. Nothing to brag about, but not anything to complain about either.

Anywho. I'll quit my bitching!

Have a lovely day!
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Monday, April 12th, 2004

Time:8:30 am.
I broke it off with Scott, Saturday. But we're still friends. I hung out with Jimmy friday night, watched a movie called 4 Rooms, lol. It was pretty much retarded;) haha Jimmy.

This weekend wasn't too great, I think the only time I had fun, was hanging out with Jimmy...

Blah. Anyways. I'm suppose to get my POS car today! Wooot!
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Tuesday, April 6th, 2004

Subject:Whoo hoo..
Time:1:18 pm.
Mood: nerdy.
Music:"Lip Gloss and Black" - Atreyu.
Well, I know that there are some things I'd love to say, but afraid to say them.

Jimmy called me this weekend, surprise surprise. I figured he had forgotten who I was, lmfao. It was good to hear from him, I was worried about him, since I knew he had been sick and stuff..
Hopefully he'll call me sometime this week, so we can hang out Friday night. That will be nice to hang out again.

Aeiden is officially walking NOW! OMG! He's so damn cute, walking!

Scott and I have been dating for almost 3 weeks now. yay! He's an amazing guy. Really really sweet.

Anyways...I dont really feel like talking about anything else...
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Subject:Whoo hoo..
Time:1:15 pm.
Well, I know that there are some things I'd love to say, but afraid to say them.

Jimmy called me this weekend, surprise surprise. I figured he had forgotten who I was, lmfao. It was good to hear from him, I was worried about him, since I knew he had been sick and stuff..
Hopefully he'll call me sometime this week, so we can hang out Friday night. That will be nice to hang out again.

Aeiden is officially walking NOW! OMG! He's so damn cute, walking!

Scott and I have been dating for almost 3 weeks now. yay! He's an amazing guy. Really really sweet.

Anyways...I dont really feel like talking about anything else...
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Wednesday, March 24th, 2004

Time:10:09 am.
Wow, I'm at work, completely bored. A lot has happened the last 5 days, which, in some aspect of the situation, is really good. I'm happy with everything. I'm definitely happy with Scott. I wish it could have been like this the first go around, but I think, I thought about Jimmy too much, to actually allow me to feel something. I was wondering the other day, if him and Carri are back together yet? I heard they were thinking about it! That's awesome!

Cameron and Lauren are still together, which is really fucking kool:)

Anywho..I dont really have much to say!
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Wednesday, March 17th, 2004

Time:2:44 pm.
Wow. Today has been great, and I don't even know why. Scott has been on my mind since Saturday, b/c Saturday night, we hung out and watched movies. WOW, is all I can say. We dated before and I never felt anything before, but when we kissed Saturday night, it was amazing. I felt chemistry and I sure as hell didnt think I would. But, its wonderful. He's amazing. My heart melts when I think about him.

I can't wait til Saturday night, b/c I'm gonna make it official. I got him a card that describes how I feel, and in it, i wrote, that I wanted to give us another chance. :) I hope he agrees!

I'll let you know how that goes!
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Monday, March 1st, 2004

Time:5:38 pm.
Mood: mellow.
I wonder when I'll ever fall in love again. I miss loving someone, so badly. Blah.
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Friday, February 27th, 2004

Subject:Friday afternoon. All alone. Bored. Tired.
Time:12:44 pm.
Mood: stressed.
Music:"This Love" - Maroon 5.
Wow, there's alot on my mind. Let's begin with today is Friday and I'm waiting for 2 o'clock to roll around so I can pick up my pay check and get it cashed. Jon and I are meeting at Quizno's to grab some food to eat! Yummy, I'm starving to death!

It's been a long week, and I'm so ready for the weekend. Nothing planned, just kinda going with the flow on things.

My heart aches, b/c I am so damn lonely. I dont even have a *someone* to comfort me. I know, I'm whining but, damn, I'm just tired of this loneliness. It sucks, beyond words can explain.

The *people* I'd love to have a relationship with, don't wanna be with me. And that, I completely understand. I mean it's hard to look at someone more than a friend, when you've been friends for a while. So, with that understanding, I'm left with no one. Scott wants to be with me, but I feel nothing there. Don't get me wrong, he's great. He's sweet and really kool to be around, but I just dont feel any kinda of connection.

I just dont understand why I like someone so much, it hurts, and knowing that they are still in love with their ex-girlfriend. I don't understand that shit, at all.

Enough about that.

School is going ok. Slow, boring, and I'm completely FAILING math. But I assumed as much. I am NOT good at math at all.

Well, I'm gonna end on that.

Until next time. Good-byes.
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Tuesday, February 17th, 2004

Subject:Long Day.
Time:7:51 pm.
Mood: lonely.
Music:"Freebird" (dedicated to Rachel).
Whoo, where do I start. My best friend, Rachel, since I was 3 died Sunday. How great can life get? I had to watch them put her 6 feet into the ground today, which wasn't my idea of fun. She's been like a sister to me, my best friend, and someone who has been there through everything with me.

I loved her more than anyone will ever know. She was just an amazing person. A wonderful friend, and a great mother. She will be miss more than anyone will ever know.

On other hand, Have you ever liked someone so much, it kills you inside to see them? That sucks, huh? Yeah, it really does suck. Words do not measure up to knowing you can never have someone, that you want so badly.
And the sad thing is, that I don't even know him that well. I mean we're friends, but we havent exactly spent alot of time together, getting to know each other better, ya know? That's ok, I know that if he could be with the person he wants to be with, he'd be happy, and I respect every aspect of that situation, b/c I've been there before. It took me nearly 3 years to get over Casey. It's hard as hell, but we eventaully get passed it all.

I hope that him and the person he wants to be with, get back together. That would make them both happy, and me happy knowing that they are happy together. I just want what's best for them both. They are both my friends, and I always want whats best for my friends.

Well, I'll end on that note.

Good night.
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Tuesday, January 27th, 2004

Subject:Tuesday Afternoon. Depressed. Sick. Alone.
Time:1:54 pm.
Well, since technically it has been about 9 days, since I wrote, I figured I'd updated it. Let you know how the last 9 days have been.

Hmm, where shall I start?

Well, I am no longer, taken. Jimmy and I decided we would better off friends, well, I decided that, b/c I knew he didn't need a serious relationship, and I thought I was ok with it, but deep down, I wasn't. So, when I called him back yesterday, I told him that. It literally broke my heart..b/c I like him way more than I should. He's amazing guy. And I know he would be a wonderful boyfriend. He's sweet, funny, goofy, caring, and how can you forget how damn fuckin' cute he is? Wow. He makes me speechless. But, I'm happy we're still friends and we can hang out and stuff. I mean he is a great guy, and I wouldn't wanna miss out on hanging out with him. B/c I have fun when we're together. I mean he's silly as hell, and makes me laugh:)

I went to the TexarkanaRocks party Saturday night. Got there around 6, and, hung out with Tommy for a while, and then I see Jimmy, talked to him for a little bit. He was kinda busy talking to people, so I hung out with Ryan, Daylon and Chris, for a while. Man, those guys, especially Ryan, are something else. They are fun to hang out with. I sure as hell didn't get bored, lmfao.

Psylo played and they sounded great, as usual. Man, they are a damn good band. Their bassist, Brad, is kick ass. They definitely have their shit together.

Mid-Winter was amazing, as usual. I've liked them ever since the first time I heard them. Matt's voice, wow, is so damn amazing. I love his voice. He has a beautiful voice. And Melissa, she's such a wonderful singer. She's great.

Barabbas played, and man, I was so happy they were playing, I haven't seen them play since Darkslide. God, they were unbelievable. Man! The instrumental song, holy hell, was so fucking awesome. I was speechless. You guys kicked ass that night.

American Tragedy was kick ass, as usual. Jackie still looks super hot, lol. Rock on Jackie;)

Anyways, I won't go on and on about the bands, lol.

Well, now I'm all out of words to say.

I wish Jimmy wanted something more than he did...or shall I say need something more than he does. But we're still friends, so I'm happy.

That's all for now.
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Sunday, January 18th, 2004

Subject:Bored on a Sunday.
Time:2:59 pm.
Mood: chipper.
Music:"No One"- COLD.
Well, well. Figured I'd throw in some news. Been a little while.

I'm officially "Taken" now. I believe his name is Jimmy. lol.

I went to Trybz last night, hung out with Des, and of course Jimmy. Junior, Mid-Winter, AS, and NTL played. All sounded really good. I dig Chester's wireless mic, that rocks!

I had a lovely evening actually. Jimmy is an amazing guy. Really kool to be around. Plus all the bonus stuff, that goes along with that. ;)

I got home last night, Cameron had called, so I called him back and he told me that Scott was wondering were I was, b/c I didn't show up to the show at TLR. He said he was gonna tell me that he wanted to give us a shot.
The thing is, that I've been trying for months to let Scott know, that I'd make a good gf. Well, him and Cameron are best friends, so he just kinda avoided it. Which is kool, I respect that, b/c that shows, he's truly a friend to Cameron.

I'd feel weird dating him anyways, b/c of being around Cameron all the time and stuff.

I'm really glad Jimmy and I hung out last night. Which, I've liked Jimmy from the start, he's just a kick ass guy. Can't really explain myself, except, he rocks! lol. And of course, he's super sexy. *drools* But we won't go there. Might get myself all worked up. *lmfao*

I'm 100% satisfied with my decision. I don't think I could ask for more.

Okies, I'm gonna go, um, before I stick my foot in my mouth.

Point is..I'm completely happy. So, props to myself.
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Friday, January 2nd, 2004

Subject:BLAH! BLAH!
Time:12:11 am.
Mood: tired.
Wow! Today has been crappy. Nothing unusual. LOL.

I went to Trybz last night, to see Sweet Baby Arms, Mid-Winter, and Approaching Silence. I was going to go to Bar C and see Barabbas and Psylo, but Barabbas cancelled both shows, Psylo wasn't going on til' 10, and I didnt wanna miss I decided to go to Trybz.

We meet Todd up there around 7:30..hung out and played pool.

Sweet Baby Arms sounded really good..STILL not my style..but their songs still get stuck in my fuckin' head. Thanks alot, Zach. lol. "You fuckin' bitch, I oughta strangle you"...*grr* lol (lyrics)

Anyways, Mid-Winter, was wonderful. How could someone NOT like seeing these guys. The singer, has such an amazing voice. All around, they are perfect, musically. I love everything about them..their style..their lyrics. EVERYTHING!

AS went on after Midnight...and like always..were good. Need new shit though, I know like the line up or something, lol. Come on're a smart guy, find something new to do..;)

I mostly hung out with Scott and Chris..of course, I had way too much to drink, so I was more "flirty" with Scott than the normal. But we're kool, just friends. Bastard, lol. I like him. I shouldnt..bc he's friends with Cameron, and that's not right, but since the "1st" time I seen him, I've been like, "damn, scott is so cute!"
Anyways, I kissed him on the cheek a few one in return, thanks guY! ;) He's so damn cute, it hurts. He's sooo sweet. He's a good guy.

Todd kissed me, tried to ram his tongue down my throat! So NOT kool. #1 rule, DON'T TRY to stick your tongue down my throat..even if it turns you doesnt me. Its a COMPLETE turn off. Seriously. It's not KOOL!

Anyways...I had a wonderful night. Would have been BETTER, if Barabbas would have gotten to play..but its kool. LOL..

Charlie and Brytni make the cutest fuckin' couple. I swear...Charlie is soooooo beautiful..and Bryt is soooo fucking cute..she makes me say "awww.." when I see her. She's sweet..and Charlie is sweeter than words, so in all, they make one great couple!

Blah, ok, I have NOTHING else to say.

Happy New Year.
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Friday, December 19th, 2003

Time:3:29 pm.
Mood: blah.
Yesterday was a really shitty day for me, lol. I got up at 6 AM, to get ready and leave by 7, to be at class by 8 to take my final in math. Well, the alternater on the truck, went out, had to use my grandmother's car. Got stuck my 2 trains, then got stuck going 20 mph in town, behind some big ass truck...etc, etc. I got to school at 8:02...and was a nervous wreck. I didn't do very well on the final...but I called today and I passed the class, woot. So, I don't have to take it again! *ROCK ON*

I went over to see Chris yesterday, and we watched Anger was pretty funny. Chris is a kool guy. He's ONLY 18, though, so I don't know, how that well go. We'll see, I guess...
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Tuesday, December 9th, 2003

Subject:Tuesday night
Time:9:37 pm.
Mood: stressed.
Music:"Meant To Live" - Switchfoot.
Wow, I'm completely bored. Figured I would try this new journal thing out. Go, me!

I'm just sitting here talking to my brother's little friend Josh, online. He's a cutie!

Today was sooooo slow. I went to take 2 math tests, and then I had to run to Wal-Mart for my grandmother.

Destiny and I went to the mall around 3 to look around, and I got my mom a purse for her birthday.

I ran into Chester..hehe:) I also seen this guy, DJ Simms, whom I haven't seen in FOREVER. I went to church with him, back in the day...and he sure hasn't changed at all, still immature as hell. LOL.

Well, I have alot on my mind, but I dont feel like talking about it. So, I'm gonna go now.
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Blurty for Alisha Hensley.

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You're looking at the latest 14 entries.