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Bryan Wuensche

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Never the last one [20 Nov 2003|05:50pm]
Its never going to be the last entry. I came home and read some things, and cried for a long time. I dont know how to explain my life right now. Im a total wreck. I cant sleep or eat, I cant go to school without crying in classes. When Grier was giving me a ride home, I was hoping the car would get hit... and Im not joking. I want to die, I make fun of people who say that stuff, now I know how they feel. There is a difference between wanting to die, and wanting to kill yourself. I dont want to kill myslef, thats the stupidest thing in the world. I want to just die. Non self enduced. Maybe then people will care when I cried. And say something along the lines of, you know I wish I wouldnt have tried to hurt him. I want to seriously die. Or be in critical condition. No joke. I want to know deep down, who cares and who dosent. Dosent seem like anyone cares right now, Im so alone. All I do is cry, its like thats all I live to do, and thats not living is it. I want to die, God should never give a single person the power to do something that wants to make another individual die. If I died I wouldnt even care where I went. Anywhere is better than here, better than this feeling that I have inside of me. The things that some people say, shouldnt ever make you wish you were in a head on collision. Think Im joking if you want... I dont care what you think. I just want to end this anguish. When I dont sleep, and Im not talking to my friends I cry. I cried at work yesterday. Oh by the way that Andy Rotic guy, he's supposedly the best tennis player in the world, checked out in my lane and dropped a grand and a half on housewares. Regardless, who would care if I wasnt here. I wish I wasnt, I truly, truly do.
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