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[05 Sep 2008|11:18am] |
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please please PLEASE send some prayers for the girl i always donate platelets for. she's in a very compromised state following her second bone marrow transplant and it could really go either way at a moment's notice. i feel so helpless being far away, but i know with cancer there is often nothing you can do but wait... and pray. even if you're not a praying individual, this girl deserves all the support and belief she can get right now. i really appreciate it!
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[01 Sep 2008|09:38pm] |
Yesterday I was supposed to meet James and Tomo for lunch. I waited for ages, but they never showed.
So I went to Ikea, well, I took the bus to Ikea, but didn't go in. I mean there was a big line up!
It's just wrong to go to a store, and tehn have to wait in line to buy stuff, just freakin wrong.
Anyways, instead I went to the walmart like superstore. I believe called, Super Center.
It's wonderful, so many japanese things all in one air conditioned place.
I didn't buy much though, some jewellery and a little hand mirror.
Really, I'm trying to only buy the things I really really want, since I only have so much room in my luggage.
Then I returned to sannomiya, and went off in search of the Temple next to Tokyu hands. I went a bit astray, really quite astray, but found it anyways, hidden admist buildings and bikes.
It was lovely there, like all Japanese temples, Its like a santctuary admist all the noise and bustle of Japan.
For whatever reason the japanese are obsessed with noise, every store is blaring stuff, announcements, sales, who knows what, on mulitple speakers.
It's a very loud very frantic cacophany.
Most stores also have posters and ad's everywhere, so it's not only an auditory cacophany, but a visual one also, add the thousands of people everywheres, and it's exhausting.
The temple's are the opposite. Many are near empty, a few Miko's runnning the charm stand, there is no noise except for the occassional ringing of the prayer bell, or lately the call of the Cicada's.
Both noises I found loud, and irritating generally.
But you walk in the tree filled temple, and the city noise drops away, no longer the piercing call of "Irasshai-mase" as you walk past a store, but to insulated from all sound, but those singular two.
The visual world simplifies, no kanji signs screaming for attention, no flashing lights, or tv screens.
I think if you took a temple, and dropped it into a city back home, it would lose all it's appeal, all the peace it has to bestow.
It's as though the contrast between totally different worlds, is what gives it the power to affect me.
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[31 Aug 2008|12:19pm] |
Tim says:
deathscythe
Tim says:
heavy arms
Tim says:
wing zero
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| summer love |
[29 Aug 2008|11:05am] |
i have just now realized that i have a problem with summer.
it's not the season itself, which i adore with the beautiful weather, carefree not-real jobs, and plenty of outside laziness. however, since i've been in college/grad school, i let summers create an unhealthy infatuation with boys. observe...
this really began in college because this was my first time truly single since the beginning of high school, and also my first time moving away from one place for months at a time. observe the summers after each year in school:
- Freshman Year: my first time really being single in the summer following a shitshow breakup with Marcus in the winter. he and i start talking again and i get excited for fun with him (albeit only sexual) in the fall.
- Sophomore Year: Marcus and i hooked up in the fall, but nothing came of it. he finished school in the winter and moved (peace out). i met Brian (the original) in the spring and we had a brief hook up. that summer i swooned over him, loving when he called me or was in my town for a weekend and we got to see each other, and getting hopeful for the fall...
- Junior Year: Brian wasn't interested by fall (shocking) and i ended up moving on to 2 by the spring. 2 would also be staying one more semester, but at the end of the year i met My Giant who really interested me with his sense of humor. still, he was graduating but possibly sticking around. i talked with My Giant all summer...
- Senior Year: My Giant moved, 2 wasn't much fun, and i embraced senior year singlehood. after graduation, i moved home and almost immediately started dating Crush.
- Grad Year 1: still dating Crush, i pretty much moved in with him for a very up-and-down summer together. we went to california together, worked together, lived together, had a dog together... i was overwhelmed with togetherness, but couldn't imagine my life without him. he seemed happy, however. then too much togetherness ended our relationship suddenly towards the end of the summer. Crush crushed me.
- Grad Year 2: Crush, Marcus, and Hot Teacher were the ones who took over my thoughts this year. Crush and i were hooking up/casually dating at the beginning of the summer, but now FFF was the one on my mind after finally hanging out in May. i spent the summer thinking of reasons to come back to school to hopefully see him, looking forward to my friend's wedding, and anticipating coming back to school to start a romance with this sweet, nice guy.
alas, once again my summer fantasy seems to turn into disappointment. FFF seemed happy to talk to me while i was at home (one night just last week there were talks about going on his motorcycle, where i said my scaredycatness would result in me hanging on to him tightly, where he responded "i know, that's what i'm hoping for..."), and now that we're in the same zip code, nada. hello... i'm here; take me! if nothing else, having FFF in my mind helped me cope with Crush and i ending things, him being an asshole to me, and then dating someone new. and while i want to keep hope that there's a chance with FFF for something real (as he's the first genuinely nice guy i've been attracted to in a WHILE), i feel stupid getting my hopes high again.
i know when i'm really interested in someone if i tell my parents about him. RIGHT when i got home from school, my parents heard a bit about FFF. my mom wanted to see a picture of him from the wedding, and she thinks he's adorable. i agree. i just wish he would make some attempt to see me...
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[27 Aug 2008|10:43am] |
Right. NO MOPING!
It's been decided.
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