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| 07:29pm 11/10/2004 | |||
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Hey, yet again I have changed my mind!!LOL! I'm gonna do a random journal at www.blurty.com/users/D-Providence so you can still get some looks into my life! I decided to do this becouse of popular demand of a journal for me so I hope that ur happy now! *~Dessi*~ |
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| Switch | ||||
| 03:25pm 10/10/2004 | ||||
From now on if I update it will be one www.blurty.com/users/FallWind cuz I need a change in my journal! lol! K ttyl guys |
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busy| Random Dream | ||||
| 02:58pm 03/10/2004 | ||||
The spotlight stops a girl She takes the stage She opens her mouth and begins to say" I Love U Babe" then stops short Lord I cant do this I dont know how to sing I want to run away Then the Lord said "Girl, I gave u that voice so sing for me one more time. And she said I want to fly I want to fly into His arms where this world disappears and I wanna sing for Him so I'll sing this song one more time so I can fly * Why is God calling me "Girl"???? Its my dream so let it be!lol! |
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| Random Dream | ||||
| 02:58pm 03/10/2004 | ||||
The spotlight stops a girl She takes the stage She opens her mouth and begins to say" I Love U Babe" then stops short Lord I cant do this I dont know how to sing I want to run away Then the Lord said "Girl, I gave u that voice so sing for me one more time. And she said I want to fly I want to fly into His arms where this world disappears and I wanna sing for Him so I'll sing this song one more time so I can fly * Why is God calling me "Girl"???? Its my dream so let it be!lol! |
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| Random Dream | ||||
| 02:58pm 03/10/2004 | ||||
The spotlight stops a girl She takes the stage She opens her mouth and begins to say" I Love U Babe" then stops short Lord I cant do this I dont know how to sing I want to run away Then the Lord said "Girl, I gave u that voice so sing for me one more time. And she said I want to fly I want to fly into His arms where this world disappears and I wanna sing for Him so I'll sing this song one more time so I can fly * Why is God calling me "Girl"???? Its my dream so let it be!lol! |
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| Life In General.. | ||||
| 02:42pm 03/10/2004 | ||||
K so Truth Is was wicked AWESOME!!!!! If U didnt go then u were deff. missing some pretty cool stuff!!God was really speaking to me about some stuff in my life and I couldnt help but feel as if change is on the way for me....Good change....but change none the less! Oh well change is good for the soul.... Have you ever gotten the feeling as if u are blessed beyond belief and you dont deserve it? Well I feel that way whenever I think about how much God has done for me and about the people that He has put in my life! Take it from me....U never realize how much u are blessed untill the people u love are gone! Wow I miss being able to see people...I deff. dont miss school on the weekends but I miss talking to people online and updating my journal whenever I want! It's kind of frustrationg at times!!!! Oh well I'm just gonna say that I MISS EVERYONE WHO LOVES ME AND IS READING THIS!!!!!!!!! lol! That alone should tell you how random I am! I am now fully convinced that Homework is a tool of evil teachers who have a grudge against utterly hopless and helpless 10th graders who didnt do anything to them! Well the translation of that would be that I feel that my teachers are giving my too much Homework a night! At the minimum it is 2 hrs. of just half the subjects!!!Oh well I guess thats 10th grade for ya!lol! k I give mass amounts of love to everyone since I wont be back on till next Friday night! Love Ya lots!!! Ur Lil' girl in Christ, ~*Dessi*~ |
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awake| Random.... | ||||||
| 01:58pm 19/09/2004 | ||||||
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Hey, U guys do know that U can post on my entries......lol! Please do so if U feel the need to comfort, confront, cheer, or Happify me! Random Quiz thingi...
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| STC 2005!!!!! | ||||
| 01:12pm 19/09/2004 | ||||
I am totally psyched cuz the STC applications are up and I can finally get started on that! I have already completely everything but a few references!! I am sooooo happy cuz if I get this in early then its more of a possibility for me to get the job that I want this summer!!Wahooooo!!!!! I cant wait!! Well in my other thoughts school has been going pretty good so far and I am really happy about that! Gym could be more fun but hey I'm not one to complaine too much! The boys soccor team has their first game on Tuesday and I cant wait to go! The first sports game of the whole school year is a big deal! I'm doing pretty good in Geometry this year which is a relef cuz I was afraid that I was gonna have major issues with it. But I am acctually doing awesome! I just hope that I can keep up the good work! I'm still praying for a ton of people and i hope that my prayers are acctually working! I have no way of knowing. Chances are that if you are reading this right now I'm probobly praying for U everyday! Just know that someone cares and that ur not alone cuz God is with ya! And also that I love u tons but thats a diff. story!lol! K, I guess i'm done updating but I'll do another entry next weekend when I'm on again! Love yall! In Christ, ~*Dessi*~ |
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ecstatic| 06:32pm 10/09/2004 | ||||
Its been a while since I last updated so I figured that I needed to tell whoever reads this little journal what has been going on in my life! Well, today was my second official day of school and it's not so bad! Math is easy for now which I am happy about but I know that its gonna change in a few days! Anyway I'm ok for now! I have been super stressed about some things that I need to sort out and they are really starting to frustrate me....I know that I have to trust God with my present and future but sometimes I doubt God and start to wonder about his sovereignty in my life...now is one of those times in which I wish that I could see into the future and see that everything turns out the way that I want it but I know it wont...My future will be what God wants it and nothing less! AHH I cant think about this anymore.....Its frustrating and sad..ok I'm done!:) I'll b happy now! If you want to talk to me then I'll b online for a while this weekend! I love ya all! In Christ, ~*Dessi*~ |
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cold| Meeting.... | ||||
| 05:49pm 01/09/2004 | ||||
Well i just got back from school to pick up my gym shorts and I met my new English teacher Miss Fowls and she seems really nice! I just hope that she really is that way and that she's not just putting up a show! From meeting her just once she seems like a really nice person. I just hope that she is ready to handle all of the 8th graders!!! I'm not that scared of being a sophmore anymore cuz I know that Liz is gonna be in the same boat with me and that I can get help in Math from Miss Delap if I really really need it! I am acctually really excited to see who the new girl in my class is!! I just hope that she's nice and that Oakwood doesnt corrupt her too fast!! I cant wait till I start school cuz it is gonna give me something to do so I wont be so bored like I am here at my house 24/7!!!!!!!!! I am sooo happy that me and nate are staying true to our convictions and that God is a bigger part of our relationship now!!!!!!!!! I know that since I am closer to God He is making me love Nate more and more! It is easier for me to love and fogive him now! Its like never questioning God's providence and will for he and I to be together! I can trust God becouse I know that His will is sovereign in my life. Well I guess thats all for now...thanx guys for an awesome summer and I hope that this next school year is gonna be the best ever! Love you guys whole bunches!!!! ~*Dessi*~ |
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cheerful| Why?? | ||||
| 05:55pm 19/08/2004 | ||||
2~Why What? 1~Why cant you just believe? 2~Why cant you just leave me alone? 1~Becouse I love you.... 2~Why? 1~Becouse God loved me when I was like you. 2~Why did He love you? Your not anything special. 1~He didnt have to love me. I dont know why. Maybe becouse I am His creation. 2~Why did He create us? 1~I dont know. It was His desire. 2~Why dont you know for sure? 1~Becouse I dont have all of the answers. Only He does. |
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productive| Home....Must.....Get.....Home.... | ||||
| 04:50pm 18/08/2004 | ||||
Well WOL has been awesome and amazing in the fact that the atmosphere here is awesome and that I have made a few close friends this summer! It has been an awesome growing experience becouse I have learned how to work efficiently and to the best of my ability, I have grown a ton in and with my spiritual walk, and Nate and I have grown closer in our relationship since being here for the summer! It is cool to see how much people have grown and how much people still need to work at certain things in their lives. I must say that I do want to do STC next summer too but I would really really like to work at the Campground!!! I love it there and since I didnt get to work there this summer(read past journal entries)I really would like to go next summer! So that is my opinion of my summer and what I would like to do next year! Nate and I have been growing closer in our relationship for a while but to me it just felt like the growing stopped once we stopped talking and started having "The Problem"(Talk to me if your confused). Now that we have really talked through things and have made new boundaries in our relationship, that I know that with God's help I can keep to,I really think that we will grow more spiritually and have a deeper love for one another. I know that it is gonna be tough when we leave WOL to keep to ourselves in check but through God's strength we will keep ourselves pure and without guilty consciences. I want for me and Nate to start praying together becouse its something that I have never done and I think that it was a good idea on his part to tell me that he wanted us to start praying together! You have no idea how much I thank God for the chance to get to know him and for us to grow more in Christ everyday!! I thank God everyday for the experiences that I have learned and grown from since he and I have been together! Right now I am trying to keep my list of hierarchy in check becouse I tend to be idolitrous! I need to put God first then family, then Nate. Not any other way! I believe that my list is in check right now so I am very happy about that!!:) What I Want By:Desiree' Lounsbury "I wanted the world to notice me but I forgot all about His attention I wanted to feel beautiful to them but I conveniently forgot that He made me Pure I wanted them to love me but I didnt see His sacraficial love for me Now what I want is to be Holy Holy in His sight I want to show this backwards world that Christians still can fight I want to be an emblem of true womanhood in my life I want to give all my cares to Him, my worry and my strife I want to share my life with a prince of His own choosing I want to be strong in the Lord Not lean on my own strength See God is all there is to me He is my life's breath He is my eternal counselor He is my strength and my shield from harm So to everyone I meet I want to be a true Christian and nothing less." *Random poem that I just composed on the spur of the moment! lol!* "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." Proverbs 31:30 *To become a Proverbs 31:30 girl is my life's goal!* (Read the purity ring on my finger and you will know that I'm serious!) Love ya tons my lovlies(Wow havent used that in a long time! lol!) I love you Nate and I'm praying for you everyday! I love ya Liz and dito to the above! Andrew I love ya tons and I'm still adding onto the prayer list! Jess~ I'm praying for ya girl! In Christ, ~*Desiree' L. Lounsbury*~ |
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| Blahhh...Tired......Must....Have......Sl |
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| 11:23am 05/08/2004 | ||||
I'm not quit awake yet today so bear with me on this one. I have been here at the Ranch for a Grand Total of 6 weeks and it has been tiring on my part! I feel so exhausted becouse of work and I really just want to sleep. But I have to work Rodeo today and so I must persevere in order to be paid on Monday! I feel like i'm being lazy becouse I dont feel like I'm working hard at all and yet I'm tired just about 85% of the time that I'm working! Oh well I'm going to push myself to work harder and do a better job than I have been doing over the past few weeks. My work needs to be done so I will do it! Nate came over yesterday and we had one of those really nice, long talks about the future and collage....it was really nice to talk about somethign important becouse i really needed to have someone to talk to and I can always count on Nate to listen when he's around. I'm glad that I am able to see him as much as I do considering that both he and I are working. I'm glad that God has put us here at this time for a reason and that He has a plan and purpose for this summer. I'm gonna update more when I have time cuz right now I have to be getting to work. I'll tty all later hopefully! Love you guys more than you will ever know! Sincerely in Christ, Dessi |
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tired| My Dear Jon By:Morgan Maxfield and Desiree' Lounsbury | ||||
| 11:26am 28/07/2004 | ||||
My Dear Jon:Morgan Maxfield and Desiree' Lounsbury Was I a fool to keep on praying for you? To see this world of cheap romances And long for something more? See I've been waiting for you patiently, Trusting God to bring His best to me And I'm so glad that He's been faithful all this time. No one could ever take your place ' Cuz you mean so much to me As long as God will let us be together I will stay right by your side faithfully Its not an easy thing In this world of broken dreams To find something worth holding onto A love that doesnt fade But when I look into your eyes I know There's something special in you that shows And I can see the man of God that you've become And it means the world to me That you would choose to love me with His love Copyright 2004. Morgan Maxfield and Desiree' Lounsbury. |
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drained| My Dear Jon By:Morgan Maxfield and Desiree' Lounsbury | ||||
| 11:26am 28/07/2004 | ||||
My Dear Jon:Morgan Maxfield and Desiree' Lounsbury Was I a fool to keep on praying for you? To see this world of cheap romances And long for something more? See I'v been waiting for you patiently, Trusting God to bring His best to me And I'm so glad that He's been faithful all this time. No one could ever take your place ' Cuz you mean so much to me As long as God will let us be together I will stay right by your side faithfully Its not an easy thing In this world of broken dreams To find somwthing worth holding onto A love that doesnt fade But when I look into your eyes I know There's something special in you that show's And I can see the man of God that you've become And it means the world to me That you would choose to love me with His love Copyright 2004. Morgan Maxfield and Desiree' Lounsbury. |
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| Yesterday=upseting and uncomfortable.......why do these days exist???? | ||||
| 09:18am 27/07/2004 | ||||
Life was not the usual, sparkly self that it was yesterday.......the first thing that had me upset was that I couldnt get my verses for Montreal Maddness done becouse I was having a mental block before the last 6 verses......It was probobly just stress that was making me make more out of it than there really was but I felt like everyone was pressuring me to say the verses and then go with them to Montreal where they wouldnt even hang out with me anyway. I really wanted to go in the beginning when I first signed up but then when everyone started pressuring me to do it I guess I just lost the zeal to do the verses and to go to Montreal at all! I just feel really bummed today becouse I feel like I let everyone down....including myself....I'm still gonna memorize the rest of the verses though becouse Scripture memory is one of the things that I need to spend more time on that I have been neglecting. Anyway that was the first thing that I was upset about. The second thing was that at lunch yesterday I was sitting with Katie(My roommate)and I am sitting at the long midde table that is in the center of the dining hall. I look down the length of the table and I see a boy(I am not going to name him cuz it would be weird)and he is looking at me with this lusty, red-eyed look on his face! And when I got i got up to go put my tray back in the Dish Pit his eyes kept on following me! It was really uncomfortable and eerie. I hate that! I looked to see if anything that I was wearing would be immodest and make a guy look at me like that and I wasnt wearing anything immodest!!!Not from my point of view anyway but usually I dont have that many days where I dress in an immodest way! I dont understand....I dont want too! One thing that was kindof weird was that last night Nate came over and we talked for a while but he was mostly talking since I was dead tired, frustrated, and depressed. When I told him about the boy he just kindof sat in silence and then told me that he wanted me to get some sleep tonight becouse he didnt want me tired for today when I c him and then he said that he should be getting back to the Campground becouse of Split Devo's. I was kindof expecting something diff. than that! I was kindof expecting him to say something comforting but I guess not. Well, and another thing was that last night I didnt realize that Mike was there so Nate might not have wanted to say anything but I dont know what couldnt be said in front of mike that would be awkward....gaaa Idk! I'm learning to realize that my expectations arent always God's plans so I need to let Him have control over all situations. When Nate left I was walking across the field to my dorm and I just started crying....I guess all of the stress and anxiety had started to get to me. I hate crying.....but I'm learning how to not let it bother me so much. I dont dislike people who cry but I just feel like if I cry then I am really vulnerable and not able to have a level head! But I am learning to cry again.....Its hard odd enough but I am learning! Anyway, I was crying to God across the field and I realized that I shouldnt depend on Nate to always be there for me and say the right things. I mean yes he has been there for me many of times but it is really God who will always be there for me when times like these have me rattled! I learned to depend on God a ton more then I did a few days ago. And I think that I needed those trials to make me stronger in Christ...I realized that I need to depend on God more becouse He is the only one who will always be there for me and I also learned that I still need to watch myself about what I wear*even though I think that I have been doing a good job so far!* I still need to be careful about the way that I dress! Ok I gotts go to Biblr Hr. but I'll try to talk to everybody later if I can! Have an awesome day guys and live in Christ! Sincerely In Christ, Dessi |
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contemplative| I'm A Songwriter.....Weird....But Cool.... | ||||
| 05:53pm 11/07/2004 | ||||
This week has been a little bit of frustration and a little bit of excitment. The frustration is the part of this week where I didnt get to talk to Nate at all. I first saw him on Thursday but only for 2 min. cuz I had a meeting and then the second time he came over to the Ranch and no one knew where I was so I didnt find him!!!GAHHHH frustration is a bad thing!!Then I thought that he would come over on Friday but he didnt so then that put me on the edge!Then I though about things and realized that he would be at church on Sunday so that calmed me down for a day!!Then I get the church today and Liz tells me that he went home!!!!AHHHH Life frustrates me!!The only reason that I hate not being able to se him is becouse I miss him sooooo much!!!Life doesnt seem fun without him being around. I woke up 3 times last night calling his name*seriously!!!*Morgan told me to be quiet after the second time at like 3 am!lol! Its so weird!!This hasent happened before so why is it happening now???I think that my brain is just on the fritz!!!That or I'm seriously desperate!lol!I dont think that I'm desperate so I must be crazy!lol!I miss him tons...its so weird cuz we live closer but I still miss him more! I think that its becouse I cant talk to him as much now cuz we are both working....oh well.....I guess I cant have everything that I want. Me and my suporvisor are writting a song for her BF's b day on the 28 and I love the idea!!He have only been writting for 2 days and already we have 1 verse and a chorus set to music! Its going really well and it doesnt sound half bad!!The thing is that the song is made for Morgan's BF but it also has things in it that I feel about nate! Its awesome and I love it!!!I'll put the whole thing in here when its finished. Patience everyone patience!lol! I miss my home..I miss freedom to go where I want....I miss my Church the most....I miss school*WHY????* I miss having people that I know always around for time to spend with me! I miss making my own choices.... I miss Liz....Andrew....Nate....I miss nate ALOT......I miss sleeping till 8 am.....I miss real food*Not SYSCO FOOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!*I miss living life.....AHHHHH someone save me!!!!!!!!!!! The Ranch is closing in on me!!! I need to have a life without blizzards and slushi's!!!! Pray for me guys, pray alot!!!! Ok I gotta go now, people other than me need to use the comp. so I'll write more later! I love you all! In Christ, Dessi |
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disappointed| Sleep is Good FOr Your Health..... | ||||
| 12:15pm 07/07/2004 | ||||
I havent gotten much sleep lately cuz of work and cuz of how early I have been waking up! My Suporvisor(Morgan) let me skip family devo's last night cuz I was really really tired and she could see that I was about to fall asleep! So I went back to my dorm and got at least an extra hr. and a half worth of sleep last night so thats good! I had my day off yesterday cuz I switched with Carolyn. I switched so that I could go over to the CG and see Liz, Nate, Laura, and my brother cuz he came up with Laura for the day! I love my lil brother but I dont think that he loves me very much! I hope that I can start having a better influence on him now that I've matured some more! I've been realizing over the past 2 weeks how much I need to change in my life. Like relationship stuff and putting God first in my life! It feels like my life is acctually making a diff. now that I have sorted out my priorities! I love the feeling that God is using you and that your life and the way that you see things is having an impact on the people around you! I just hope that when I go back home that I can still maintain my relationship with God and still have the knowledge that He is using me in a greater plan! Well, I finally feel like my relationship with Nate is back where it should be. We talked yesterday about my letter to him and I felt like I couldnt talk for a while. As if I couldnt talk about anything important like how I felt or what I wanted to happen in the future with our relationship. I guess I'll just have to think about somethings before I bring up the subject again. God has blessed me so much! I cant believe that I have the most awesome friends in the world and that I have*In my opinion!!:)*the greatest boyfriend in the world!!!!I dont deserve anything or anyone that God has put in my life but I am really glad that he has put them here with me! I thank Him everyday for the many wonderful people that He has blessed my life with and I am praying for each and every one of them everyday that they would be safe and that they would grow stronger in Christ! My break is almost over so I'm gonna go and update some more later when I have more time!!Thanx a ton you guys for always being there for me! Liz~Your my soul sis and I love you for being that strange voice in my head that always reminds me that I should be thankful for what I have! Nate~I miss you even though your only across the road!!!I'm so happy that God is working in both of our lives and bringing us closer to Him and to eachother! I Love you more than you may ever know!!Forever yours,Dez*I like my name better this way!! Andrew~I love you like you were my big brother!!!Life has many paths so remember that only 1 leads to where you want to be in life! I am praying for you everyday that God would guide and direct you throughout all of your life and that He would mold you into the perfect man for 'HER'!!I love ya and miss you tons!Dessi I love you all sooooooooooooooo much and I'll try to write more later! In Christ, Desiree' Leesha Lounsbury*I like my name so I'm gonna type it all out for you!* |
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sleepy| God Works In Wonderful Ways..... | ||||
| 05:13pm 04/07/2004 | ||||
This week has been awesome!!!First on my day off I went over to the Campground and got to hang out with Liz, Mike, and Nate, Then yesterday Nate went with me and my family to see the parade and fireworks up in Schroon Lake!! The funny thing is that I have been praying that I would get the chance to really talk with Nate and my prayer was answered! I got to talk to him about situations with Jess and how we think that God is gonna make a change in her life somwhere down the road. When I was telling him about the night that I spent at Jess' house and how Alex was being a pervert and talking about how he would change my virginity I saw something in Nate that I hadent seen before! He got really protective of me.....he started to say how Alex must have felt really weird then at Graduation when he was talking to him and how when Jess' guy friends started hitting on me that he wishes that he was there becouse he knows that things would have been diff. for me had he been there as my boyfriend. I just feel really loved becouse I have never heard him talk protectively about me and I like it alot!!!Not like I'm gonna go out and get kidnapped just so he will come and save me but I havent ever heard him talk like that to me or anyone and I like it that he cares about me! Anyway I did get to have a nice conversation with him and I'm realizing just how much I miss him!!I miss him alot and I think that it's becouse I'm used to having alot of time spent with him and both of us not having alot of responsibilities like work and stuff. But you know what? Even though I miss him I have missed having a growing and thriving relationship with God!!!I know that for me to be prepared to love anyone that I need to have God first and love Him that most! While I've been here at WOL I can feel myself growing in Christ as I go deeper into His Word and praying more about others instead of myself. I feel the Holy Spirit having an impact in the choices that I make and having an awesome day becouse of the knowledge that Christ is in me. I love it here but I am a little homesick! I ache to be back at Temple and to be with my church friends!!I need the awesome feelowship and I'm realizing just how much fellowship that I had with everyone before I left! Oh well, I am learning alot up here about purity and comittment. I have been reading 2 books that have really showed me the importance of purity before marrige. One of them is And The Bride Wore White which is an awesome book about purity and When Dreams Come True which is the true love story of a couple who where married in 1994 and all of the temptations that they faced within their relationship and how they stayed pure. I love both of them and I would recommend them to anyone who wants an example to follow of how to be pure. They are AWESOME!!!!! Anyway, I have to go and get some work done and call my parents so I'll try to be on AIM when I'm not working this week but keep me in prayer and just pray that I would have a positive influence on the many campers up here as they come for the weeks that I am here. Have an awesome summer guys and I love you all sooooooooooooooooooooo much! Love you whole bunches!!!!! Sincerely in Christ, Dessi |
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| Hey It's Been A While..... | |||
| 12:03pm 27/06/2004 | |||
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Hello, I've been so caught up in working here at WOL that I havent had any time to update! I know that my job comes first but now that I have 30. min till lunch and theres nothing to do I feel like I should do something constructive! Umm first off a whole slew of things have happened to me since I have been here! I feel like I'm acctually growing closer to God in my relationship with Him and that I am growing as a Christian! It's awesome to see how God uses big things to bring you closer to Him but yet at the same time make you grow through little things that you never thought about! Another thing is that my parents say that I cant call Andrew anymore which is disappointing and kindof sad! I mean even though I dont fully understand why they said that to me I still hve to obey and I will! But sometimes they dont see everything that goes on and they dont see the bigger picture! Well that and they have been getting info from Chelsea and I dont really think that it would be the best idea to get info from her! I just feel like my parents judge people without knowing them and without knowing peoples certain situations! I will ask them if they even want to get to know certain people(not just Andrew) and I dont really think that they want to give anyone the chance to get to know them or to get to know other people!!!Maybe I'm a blind little girl who cant see the bigger picture but I really dont see anything wrong with me being friends with Andrew and talking to him on the phone!! I dont understand but God has done this for a reason so untill I can see His reasoning in this then I will just have to obey my parents in whatever they decide! Right now I just feel kindof bummed about the whole thing but God has a plan and I'm willing to go with that plan no matter what it takes!I wish that everyone coud see everything that has been going on up here! It would make much more sense to people if they saw the things that I c! But you cant so I guess I'll just have to tell them to you from my point of view and hope that you dont get the wrong impression about anything! I hope that everyone is haveing an awesome summer and that you continue in the Lord over the many years that you walk with Him! Truly in the Lord, Dessi |
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