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Home Time [07 Nov 2003|02:34pm]
[ mood | ditzy ]
[ music | Cold Play ]

I've been so busy and stressed out lately. I needed some home time. Right now I'm in Louisiana, which is great because I can see Jamie Lynn and everyone. I really love that girl. She has a bit on an attitude to her, but that’s what I love about her. *LOL* She is actually pretty good at cheerleading. She was showing me some cheers she does I was actually impressed I'd have to say. I don't know if I can do a back flip anymore.. I'll probably break my back *giggles* that wouldn't be smooth at all now would it? Something smells good. I guess I'm just having a relaxing day, which is cool, because there comes a time when you just need to say stop and take time out for yourself. Sometimes I just completely work myself to death and then I end up on the verge of a break down, so I've gotten a lot better with that.

These so called breaks of mine don't last to long, because Im just not that type of person who is laid back, but I'm just going to spend some time with my sister, because it's rare I get to see her and see my mother as well. I was thinking and good Lord she really does look a lot like me. I was looking at her today and as she was going to school and it completely just blew me away. *lmao* Maybe she teach me how to cheerlead? I dunno man, that's never been my thing. Well, ive learned from experience that baseball sure isn't my thing. i can't pitch and when i go to swing the bat I swing my whole body around and end up falling. I swear I'm just a disaster waiting to happen.

Oh, oh, soon my cd is coming out! The 18th baby! *yay* I'm excited.. I'm very proud of it. I gave my mother a copy and my sister as well. *LOL* My mother likes "Everytime" that song is just something I can't listen to anyway. Bryan is the most honest out of everyone and he was like "I thought it was an amazing cd. I'm proud of you, but Brave Girl annoyed me, but nice job" He is such a *beep*, but you have to love him. Jamie Lynn really liked it a lot. She likes Breathe On Me, Shadow, Everytime, and Brave Girl best. Which is all good. *LOL* hehe, Everyone wants to know why "in the zone" let me explain this...

It's basically just being when you are performing you let go of everything and you just give completely into the music and enter this whole other world. And everybody would be like "She is in the zone, just let her alone" So that's how the whole idea came into play, which I personally love and thought it was perfect. I love this cd and I think it sets me apart from other artists. Well, it's be realizzle. But this chica is out!!!

Much Love,

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Sorry, you can't break me.. [01 Nov 2003|05:35pm]
Everyone in this business is so heartless and cold, so you have to be able to play your cards right and just have to be so cut throat. I'm learned so much from all these negative experiences. It's almost as if all the shit I went through in the past has helped me, because you can't be soft in this business. You have to just stay positive and be strong. Justin or anyone else can run their mouths at me, but I don't even care. Sorry, I broke his ego and I want no part of him. He doesn't have to act like a little boy! But I have some of the messages he left on my phone incase I ever need them. It's like he wants to break me. He has always been so threatened by my success, well I'm not going to crawl into a hole and just fade away. I'm not going anywhere, so he can cry me an 'ocean'. I'll say one thing I never say anything negative about other celebrities, because I rather make people feel more positive then negative. I don't need people telling me I can't sing, dance, or write or something under the lines of that. Because I've been in this business and a long time. And I've been singing and performing since I was a little girl, so you know what fuck them. ok, I'm done venting!! hehe.

Fe was being a damn dork today. I hand her coffee and then she jerks and spills it all over her hand! Then she jumps and trips. Sounds like something I'd do, you know? But apparently not. It's cause I'm cool. Lord, knows that's bullshit. dom dee doo. I think I'm going to go out. I think I'll call someone. lets see here... uh I'll call Wade. Everyone is on AOL. LOL haha.

Much Love,

I would have given you all of my heart
but there's someone who's torn it apart
and he's taking almost all that I've got
but if you want, I'll try to love again
baby I'll try to love again
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Lick me good *has nothing to do with my entry* [24 Oct 2003|12:03am]
[ mood | blah ]

Breathing me

I am in the middle of nothing and everything..living a lie and a fairy tale all in one. Find myself in yet another daze of confusement and numb pain, emotional pain. It doesn't leave me, it's a cruel nightmare that has become my reality, following my footsteps into some bleary dream i can't awaken myself from. This long swirl of desolation that keeps me falling and rising and simply exhausted. I'm trying to find a hideout within myself, some place where i am free from all this, free from myself, so that i can find my true existance. I know that my truth is hiding someplace, occasionally creeping to the surface of my breath for a quick bath of sunlight before collapsing, trickling away to the depths of my being where all becomes dense and quiet again. I cannot find that light anymore, it went out ages ago, and not a flicker can be seen through the fog amidst my heart. I'm searching in vain, but i return with only false hopes....

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I want it rough [20 Oct 2003|08:48pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | 3 doors down ]

*******Random Survey*****

Do you like the Goo Goo Dolls? They're ok

Are you a survivor? Sure.

Do you watch the show survivor? On occasions.

Do you like the destiny's child song survivor? Yes.

Do you get send to the principal's office a lot? Oh yeah. *LOL* I haven't been in school for quite some time, so no.

Do you like buffy better than dark angel? I don't watch them.

Do you still read kid's books? Most watch tv

Do you watch more than 3 hours of TV a night? Lord no.

Do you still watch the Disney channel? Sometimes.

Are you taking drivers ed? No.

Do you have your license? Yes, I do. Scary, isn't it?

What was the last thing you bought? Um, a pair of low ridders.

Do you own a camera? Yes.

What colour is your room? White.

Do you dye your hair? Usually, I just dye it blonde and that's it.

What colour is your real hair? Brown

Do you tan easily? Yes.

Can you wait until summer? I suppose.

Are you counting down the days until summer? No, enough with the odd summer questions. You nut job.

Who do you know with the weirdest name? Chantal "she has a strippers name" LMAOOOO Anyway

Would you participate in the following sex acts...
Oral? Yes
Anal? Maybe.. lmao
Sex in a public place? *laughs*
Do you masturbate? If yes, would you say regularly? Not regularly, but yes.
Do you use a dildo (or other such object) for sexual satisfaction? Sure.
Has anyone ever called you a slut? Oh, who me? No! Of course not. Never heard that word used refering to me in my life.
Do you have a problem finding people to sleep with you? LMAo, I have them all lining up. LMAOOO
Have you ever paid for sex? Lord no.
Did/Do you guard your virginity like some sacred treasure? ROTFLMAO. No.
Do you consider yourself a slut?: Oh, sure. Who the hell scares?
Do other people consider you a slut?: Must do. And I find that funny.
Do you have any slutty friends?: Oh Lord Yes.
Fave place to have sex: anywhere there's water..a swimming pool,shower,in the rain...water is just awesome.
ever been caught fucking?: Once...
best fuck was with...: Not going there... lmao
ever had lesbian/gay sex?: No.
it better than heterosexual sex?: ...
do you have a big dick?or has anyone you've had sex with had one? : Yes, one person.
am i funny?: Oh, yes. I'm laughing...
If you were a sheep, would you fuck another sheep?: What if I am a sheep already hmmm?
ha! sheep fucker! so how many people you had sex with anyway?: Hm, let me count ROTFLMAO no no no! 5 people.
u ever had sex to make someone jealous?: No, not really.
u ever had sex while drunk? : Yes.. it would explain this one time..
had sex with an old man?: EW. Hell no..
was it good?: ....
ever had sex with a family member?: Good Lord no.
ever had sex on an airplane?: Yes.
how many people have you had sex with in the same day?: 1 person.
u ever fucked a cucumber?: no, I keep away from food products..
why are you doing this survey?: Because I'msick minded and bored.
ever been arrested for sex in public?: LMAO, No, that'd make a good magazine cover *haha*
i have a VERY slutty friend called jacqueline. what should i do?: Do I care?
u ever walked in on parents?: Oh Thank God no! I would be ruined for life at that sight.
did they ask u 2 join in?: EW No...
did u join in?: And I thought I was sick...
have you ever got any wierd things 'stuck' in there??: LMAO Yes
Are you getting bored yet?: sorta
have you ever thought about the news while fucking?: Not unless it was horrible. Then again, yes I probably have.. I did date *beep*
was that because the sex was boring?: I'd imagine that was the reason.
finally, do u like to drink sperm throught a straw?: Oh yeah you know it LMAOOO
ok, so you prefer a cup? LMAOOO Sure do
worst person you slept with? I can't say that. I'm not that mean!
best person? Not going to go there...
Would you ever consider relations with someone of the same sex as yourself: I don't think I could do that. So no.
Ever cheated on someone?: Um, yeah *sighs*
You see your boyfriend's Journal on his nightstand, when he leaves the room do you read it? Currently I have no boyfriend and no. I wouldn't do that.
Can a man be too big? Um, I'd imagine so..
Ladies, have you ever faked an orgasm? More times then I can count LMAOOO
How old were you when you lost your virginity? 17
do you receive pleasure from having your nipples licked sucked or bitten? yes
ladies spit or swallow? swallow
ladies do you have sex on your period? Rarely
have you ever been partly undressed by a partner in a movie theater or public place? yes.
have you ever shaved off all your pubic hair? Yes
Are you sad this is over? No. LOL

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New here.... [12 Oct 2003|10:13am]
[ mood | giggly ]
[ music | Lauryn Hill ]

Well, it's just another day. Nothing to special. You know, this is so random. But someone asked me in an interview what's it like to be rich and I don't feel rich. It's like someone who has been fat their whole life and lost weight, but they always feel fat inside. I've been poor for most my life and I'll always feel poor inside. Insane, isn't it? I don't know. It's nice having money, but my world wouldn't come crashing down if I lost it all tomorrow. I could defiantly deal without it.

Well, hopefully, no one but friends read this I just thought it would be cool to have an online diary like everyone else. *lol* Ok, well lets see here. I'm going to be quite busy. "In The Zone" is completely finished! I’m really excited though. It’s really the first cd where I got to call the shots, so I’m pretty happy with the out come of that. There was a lot of experimenting with the cd, but it turned out pretty cool and I'm done doing the "Me Against The Music" video, which will be on 'Make The Video' Oct. 20! Happy that's out of my way and that's done with. *LOL*I was asked to co-host TRL on the 20th and I haven't done that in a while. *joy joy* I swear, I need my nails filled. I freaking chipped them typing! I fucking cannot stand having nails. I'm almost tempted to bite them off *LOL*

Ok, and enough drama. I wanted a diary at LJ, but that's not going to happen right now. I have to call Laura Lynne she is dealing with men issues well I know how she feels. My luck with guys is not very good at all, you know I'm seriously considering becoming gay. *LOL* What, I mean you'd better understand a girl then a guy, so why not give it a try? *LMAO* I don't know how I'd be able to do that. Sorry, I just need to be a drama queen for no reason and bitch. Oh, I need to watch Sex and The City tonight. Hehe, well, I have a nice rest of the day plan. Tanning, massage, facial, then get my hair and nails done. Come home and take a long bath.

Love always,

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