http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj0dqCB6pcI

Your Hair Should Be Red

You are a passionate person... both in love and in life. You have many causes that are important to you. You can be very intense. You are very fiery. You speak up, and you don't mince words. You also have a very flamboyant personality. You love to show off. You are both eccentric and expressive. You like to share your unique point of view. You can become quite impassioned. So impassioned that you can seem a little overbearing.

Your Surfing Habits are 80% Male, 20% Female

If we had to guess, we would guess that you are a man. You use the internet to make your life more efficient - and to make you smarter. For you, the internet is like a vast encyclopedia. You search and surf extensively. You look up everything online.

It's been a long time, it seems, since I wrote. A big part of that is energy -- I don't write well on paper because I can't make changes fast enough to suit me, and my computer just isn't easily accessible if my muse strikes. Sad.

Strangest thing: I seem to have sprained my left big toe, but I have absolutely no idea how. It hurts like hell and it's all bruised to hell, but I can't think of a damn thing I did to it. I swear I'm getting more and more accident prone as I get older! I thought I was supposed to grow out of the clumsiness, not deeper into it!! Haha. I'm just crossing my fingers that it'll be okay by Saturday for my 5k, or at least manageable with my favorite runners on and copious amounts of athletic tape :)

Your Autumn Test Results

You are a energetic, warm, optimistic person. You approach everything with a lot of enthusiasm. When you are happiest, you are calm. You appreciate tradition and family. You enjoy feeling cozy. You prefer change to come slowly. You need a long transition period when your life changes. You find love to be the most comforting thing in the world. You feel at peace when you're with your loved ones. Your ideal day is spontaneous and surprising. You like to play things by ear, and you always end up doing something interesting. You tend to live in the moment. You enjoy whatever is going on, and you don't obsess over the past or future.

It's strange to me that I am NOT living alone for the first time in ages, and yet I still feel more isolated and alone than I have in a long time.

Sometimes, it hurts my soul just to take a breath.

I just want it on the record that I DID get up in time to go to the pool this morning. However, I woke up to a thunderstorm, and because the architects who designed our expensive new Y in Willmar are dumbasses, they put huge floor-to-ceiling windows in the pool room. This necessitates the closing of the entire pool whenever lightning is spotted. So, I'm not going to drive in and end up at work an hour early since I checked the weather and it's more of the same in Willmar. But it's the thought that counts, right? Oh wait...not for burning calories and building muscle. Haha.

I'm falling so far behind!! I hate that because I like to have my little record of life, haha. I just keep having other interesting things to do.......

Tonight was a great night -- went out with my girls Mindy and Crystal for drinks after work. We started in Willmar at the Mill then progressed to P-Ville to the very same bar where I drooled after my lustcrush more than a year ago. (He wasn't there, obviously.) I freakin love those girls.

I still get tipsy off one beer though.

Shibs is here this weekend :) Yay! My "plans" for the weekend include hanging with him, sorting through 19th-century heirloom photographs and daguerreotypes that we inherited with the house to see if they're scrapbook-appropriate, and sleeping. If the weather holds, like it's supposed to, I'll probably be put to work in the yard too.

But speaking of sleep....

Exhausted, but can't sleep. Figurrres. Let's not start up with the insomnia b.s. again, body, okay?? Plzkthx.

Today's horoscope, via MSN: You have a kind of innate gift for healing and calming other people in crisis situations, dear Leo. If this isn't already what you do for a living, have you thought about doing something with this natural talent of yours?

Also, this is interesting: Color Career Counselor. Interestingly, I took the test twice -- answered slightly differently both times -- and got the same answers. My "Best Occupational Category" is CREATOR: Nonconforming, Impulsive, Expressive, Romantic, Intuitive, Sensitive, and Emotional. My second best is PERSUADER: Witty, Competitive, Sociable, Talkative, Ambitious, Argumentative, and Aggressive. While I generally believe that a lot of the adjectives used to describe the two are accurate, the career recommendations for them are not necessarily on-target. However, I can see how with a liberal mind you could make them work, particularly considering my career trajectory of ultimately doing program design and management. Hmm.

God, I wish I could sleep. I also wish my eyes would stop itching.

Date:	2008-09-13 03:11
Subject:	How do I get you alone...?
Security:	Public
Mood:	sleepy
Music:	Stephen Speaks: 1500 Miles

Had a great night -- went to Alex to sing karaoke with a former co-worker. It ended up being a total riot, despite the fact that I was consistently groped all night by a very drunk upper-middle-aged man sitting at our table (at least twice my age). No, really -- I was actually told by another woman that I should do a duet with "my boyfriend". And she was serious...

I always like singing in new bars. I mostly sang standards (for me) but I'm just enough of an applause whore to admit that I relish the cheers and whistles. (The whistles coming from a table of very drunk women stage right.) I didn't do anything really spectacular, but everyone was drunk enough, and I can carry a tune well enough, that it went over well.

(On second thought, my last two songs -- "When You Say Nothing At All" by Alison Krauss and "Alone" by Heart -- were stellar. Of course, the first one I've been doing since I was sixteen, and the second had particular emotional meaning to me tonight.)

Stuuuupid, but the emotion helps with those big notes, so I'll forgive myself.

I miss him.

What Your Black Umbrella Says About You

When faced with adversity, you respond with authority. You don't let problems faze you. You are naturally powerful and commanding. People look to you to take charge. You are elegant and classy. You know how to always say and do the right thing. While you stand out, you also fit it. You thrive in a variety of situations. On a rainy day: you carry on as normal - a little bad weather isn't going to get in your way!

Date:	2008-09-10 00:28
Subject:	Brief music update
Security:	Public
Mood:	pleased
Music:	Matt Wertz: Lord Knows How Hard I've Tried

Here's some music love for y'all:

- Matt Wertz is offering his new EP Where We Started for free download on Amazon until 9/15. Get it here.

- Quietdrive's sophomore wide release, Deliverance, drops in October -- can be preordered on their website at www.quietdrivemusic.com; get 3 free digital tracks (including the title track and two acoustic versions) with the preorder. Side note: I'm really torn as to whether I want to go to the CD release or not. It'll be at First Ave, which should be amazing, but it's going to be so crowded. After the super intimate show before my birthday, I'm just not sure that a teenybopper-infested show is worth the $30 ticket. But then again, they're always amazing. (Also, I just used "amazing" twice in this paragraph to describe Quietdrive's live show. Yes, they really are amazing.) Thoughts?

- Joshua Radin's new album dropped today (well, technically yesterday as it's past midnight). I haven't heard the whole thing but what I have heard is terrific, as expected.

- Straylight Run is releasing a new record called Un Mas Dos next Tuesday 9/16. I've listened to the clips available on Amazon and I'm especially excited for the song "Try."

- Andrew McMahon is a huge tease, what with the new Jack's Mannequin EPs coming out as trailers for The Glass Passenger, which finally finally drops on 9/30. However, I'm gonna go ahead and say that I love "Resolution" and "At Full Speed" (which is [intentionally?] mislabeled as "Annie Use Your Telescope" in the In Valleys - EP site on iTunes). I'm a bit confused by the preorder available for The Glass Passenger so I'm planning to wait it out at this point.

I think that's all. Get the Matt Wertz EP! It's freakin free, people!

I cannot sit in that training for one more minute. It's so repetitive that I get fidgety and distracted, then I start to fall asleep. My legs hurt from sitting still. It's absofreakinglutely gorgeous outside, and I'm in this worthless training!!!! GAH!

Okay, this is going to be brief -- sorry I haven't commented in forever. Was at an outdoor music festival all weekend and now I'm at training in the city so I have minimal computer access. (I'm on a communal computer right now, which makes me nervous.)

I have tons to write about, most especially my adventures in fangirldom on Saturday when I spent pretty much the whole day either watching or talking to my boys from Romantica. I am having to accept the fact that I am a totally awkward, uncool fangirl when it comes to meeting musicians I love -- but oh well. My geeky fandom got me a wink from Ben Kyle and my favorite song played for me during the second set (OH MY GOD...it was bliss), so I'm pretty sure I don't even care. Well, that's a lie. I do care, and I wish I wasn't such a huge dork, but oh well. I don't imagine they have a ton of swooning fangirls simply because they're not exactly the kind of music that appeals to your typical fangirl crowd, so perhaps I could stand out by being one of the few ;)

I did get a couple pics with the band -- if they turn out I'll post them. I also got the bulk of their (absolutely amazing) cover of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" on video so I'll try to post that too.

Ooh, and before I forget -- they did play a new song I'd never heard before. About living in South Carolina on the ocean. My Minnesota music boys. Fate much?

Full update later, with pics, but possibly not till this weekend. I have to get through this Godawful seminar first.

Date:	2008-09-06 01:14
Subject:	Just call me Calamity Jess
Security:	Public
Mood:	accomplished
Music:	Straylight Run: The Tension and the Terror

I seem to have had a significant increase in general klutziness lately. Por ejemplo:

- Last night I ran face-first into a door. Now, granted, I was texting at the same time and it was dark in the hallway, but still...it was in my own damn house!
- Today I tripped over thin air and nearly took a nosedive while playing kickball with the kiddies at work. I did warn them that I would be more of a handicap than an asset on a team...
- I just spilled water down the front of my shirt...out of a water bottle with a very small drinking opening. Classy.
- I have a huge bruise on my ankle from where I banged my foot on the corner of my bedframe last weekend.

I am so not coordinated on the land...luckily, I've got a little bit of grace in the water, anyway.

Speaking of which, I changed up my swim sets tonight. My shoulder has been acclimating to my workout, so I'm introducing freestyle and backstroke into my workout. For whatever reason, that windmill-like motion has really triggered my shoulder badly in recent years, so I've just been swimming breast stroke. However, I do seem to be gaining strength so I'm changing from a 1000m straight breast stroke workout to 250m sets -- 100m breast stroke, 50m free, 50m breast, 50m back. I stretch before I start, swim 2 sets (10 laps) and then take a 2-minute break to stretch my shoulders again, swim another 2 sets (10 laps) and take another 2-minute break to stretch, then swim one last set (5 laps) and a 50m (1 lap) breast stroke warm down (actually, the whole last set is a warm down, but I prefer to end with the easy stroke so I added one more in). So I've actually increased my workout to 1300m and incorporated the new strokes...we'll see how it goes. So far I'm not noticing anything in my shoulder other than the usual post-swim twinge, but the weekend will be the big tell.

I really do love the swimming. I have to keep saying it because it honestly surprises me; I'm such a gym-phobe that in the last 13 years (since I was competing) I'd forgotten how relaxing it can be. But man, that rush of heat tingles up my back and shoulders when I stop to stretch after my first ten laps is pretty much my favorite thing ever!

It does get expensive though...the suit I bought this spring is completely shot already. I don't know if the chlorine level in the pool at the Y is like insanely high (I sure haven't noticed, but I have a high tolerance too) or if it's just a crappy suit, but it's all hagged out and almost inappropriate. (And trust me, any swimmer knows how to take care of a suit so it doesn't wreck, so it's not because I haven't treated it well.) It'll be a great drag suit I suppose... And while I wasn't really intending to spend more money on swimming right now, I just ended up spending $60 on a new suit (Speedo, natch, with the ultraback -- no more no-name suits for me!). I also splurged on a specialized Speedo swim duffel because I wanted the vented endcaps for my wet suit and gloves. I needed something better than what I've been using, because I always go to the gym in my work clothes, but change into a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt for the drive home. So, since I have to tote both my work clothes and my wet swim gear home, ideally in the same bag, this makes sense. Plus, I wanted it. So there.

I use parentheses a lot. It's how I talk though; lots of brief asides and explanations in the context of a larger conversation. It's probably annoying, haha.

Tomorrow's Rock Bend, and Romantica. Yay!

Date:	2008-08-31 22:44
Subject:	Oh so true.
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused
Music:	Katy Perry: Self Inflicted

Wanna know how I feel these days? Observe ( Pig: )

Also disturbingly accurate -- a birthday analysis thing I found on Facebook. My results?

August 19, 1980

Lucky Color: Amber
Personality Strengths: Care, Innovation (Someone who wants to be a program development specialist in social services...hmm.)

...aaand, despite the fact that I'm not a big mac and cheese fan, this one is also pretty much dead-on.

You Are Macaroni and Cheese

Compared to most people, you are quite playful. You are a big kid at heart. It doesn't take much to make you happy. You live for simple, happy moments. You are very content. You don't try to make life overly complicated. You remain thankful for whatever you have. Even if it isn't much, you make the best of things.

Problem: I have resumed "retail therapy" for that which ails me (currently, pessimism and a general dissatisfaction with the stagnant nature of my life right now). Retail therapy tends to be extremely useful, but damaging to my financial bottom line. Thankfully, I am a skilled clearance/bargain shopper and financially independent, so I can support my habit (thank you, grad school)...as long as I don't indulge too often.

Today, my damage was less than $200 (+ a $100 birthday gift card from my parents -- spoilllllled). Here's my haul:

- 2 pairs of shoes: one black closed-toe heel with a t-strap (I have such a weakness for a good t-strap) and one flat brown mary-jane style.
- 2 pairs of dress pants: one black, one gray
- A cap-sleeved rose-colored blouse
- Two autumn-weight sweaters: one denim-blue, one gray
- A black suit-type jacket pinstriped very lightly with pink/rose
- One very impractical black halter top -- but oh so sexy!
- An autumn-weight, hip-length brown suede button-up jacket
- Two purses: one brown and one faux-croc red
- Six trashy romance novels (thank you, thrift store)
- A USB multiport, so I don't have to use my flash drive as a multiport anymore
- Two silly "get well" cards to send to my uncle
- Dinner with my mom
- Custom professional framing on my two diplomas and my LICSW certificate (though I'm really only paying for one of the diplomas -- my da is gifting me with the framing for my license and my master's degree diploma)

Not bad, right?? Now it's time for me to shower and get ready for bed...but what to wear tomorrow...hmm. Haha :)

breathe in this sweet liquid gold of late summer
and capture its freedom in your lungs
taste the warm flavor of the lazy gilded breeze
which carries the hint of autumn on its tongue

© 2008 jmb