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Blurty for TaUnI :0).
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| Thursday, August 28th, 2003 |
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quick update then i'm sooo going 2 bed. staying up this late 2 do frickin homework is SERIOUSLY not worth it. yeah ummm....so......i don't talk 2 Aaron much ne more. other things seemed 2 be of more importance 2day, but o well i guess. nothing i can do. maybe i'm juss goin through my bitchy time now and i get mad @ everything easily. iono....but it still sux. he was off of away message 4 God only knows how long and i'm juss sittin here......waiting 4 him 2 maybe say that he was done watchin his VMAs or something....but no. ok i'm not gonna carry on about that cause i know i'm probably juss gonna make him feel bad and I'M gonna be the bad guy here. 2day was an ehh kind of day. got told that i'm immature @ times and that i'm selfish. ok....u know what! out of ALL names 2 call me.....i'm far from being fucking selfish! thank u very much. i NEVER think about myself unless i'm in 1 of my moods like i am now.....but that STILL doesn't make me selfish. and this whole "immature" thing. so, i'm suppose 2 act like a 15 year old every damn second of my life. PLEASE tell me how a 15 year old is "SUPPOSE" 2 act because i really don't know. i didn't know there was a way where i'm "SUPPOSE" 2 act. geeze us.....if i acted all serious and crap ALL the time.....what fun would my life be? well the answer 2 that question is that it WOULDN'T be all that great. being mature all the time is effin stupid. yeah....so 2 those of u who r gonna say crap like that 2 me......SCREW YOU! and i know u were only being "honest" but seriously.....u must not know me very well in order 4 u 2 call me that. ok i'm done bitching. i'm goin 2 bed. bye FUCKED UP DAY AND NO ONE BOTHERED TO MAKE IT BETTER |
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| Wednesday, August 27th, 2003 |
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well, i REALLY don't feel like dooin ne more hw right now, so imma update my journal. yesss! its a new name. its alllllll Aaron's fault y i had 2 make this new name. geeze us! nahh....i'm juss playin :-P. hopefully this will be the last time i gotta change my name and all that good stuff. school started on Monday and grrrr! its a waste of my good ol time! i've already had 2 tests and a SHIT load of hw. there's SERIOUSLY something wrong here! i got my order forms and stuff 4 my class ring. YAYY! i tried designing it online....hahaha! that was a JOKE! it (the computer) doesn't listen 2 me....damn thing. o well. i'll juss have 2 show yall after i get it (the ring). its gonna be sooo sexiful! yesss......i loove Bob. she's been rockin my effin world like WOW lately! awwww....and my lil Aaron baby. he's the SWEETEST! he calls me and leaves cute lil messages.....telling me 2 have a good day and that he loves me (while i'm in school). awww....iss the CUTEST and it makes my day go by soooo much better. i love that boy. and yes.....he is STILL a lil boyy :-P. we gotta wait until after boot camp in order 2 call him a MAN!! he's MYY lil boy! *mUaH!* i loove you bebe! i can't wait 2 get ur letter! eeeek....i'm sooo excited! i SHOULD be gettin it 2morrow. yayy yayy! i better get it mann! i neeeeed it! yessss i doooo! okay i'm done taking my lil break. back 2 homowok! hehehe :0) |
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| Sunday, August 24th, 2003 |
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STOP SENDING ME AWAY FROM MY BABY! well, yess.....i'm home 4 good now. from Wednesday - Friday i was in Mexico and from Saturday - Sunday i was @ some lake and stayed in some EFFED up bunk houses (whatever they r). i had a horrible time in Mexico and a so so time @ that lake place. Wednesday- we left kinda later then expected....drove 2 Mexico and when we got there we HAD 2 play golf because yes. i hate golf and i think its a HELLA boring sport....so i brought my book 4 school w/ me and read that. i drove the golf cart around 2, but the damn thing was sooo slow that i gave up on it. then we ate, went swimming in the pool, and that's about it i guess. Thursday- i WAS gonna get a massage (cause my mom was gettin 1), but after my mom told me that i had 2 get naked and have some complete stranger rubbing my bare ass....i said the hell w/ that! i got this other thing instead. THEY called it a facial, but it was nothing like a facial. the lady kept rubbing my face and puttin stuff on it and yeah....it felt good though. then we went out 4 dinner...walked around and stuff. i got this ring that has my name engraved in it 2. it looks HELLA crappy, but whatever. that's Mexico 4 ya. Friday- we juss went out 2 lunch...then came home. i talked 2 my lova and my other loover (Bob) and then i packed 4 the lake and stuff. Saturday- we left early 2 go 2 that lake that we're members of. we got our crap in the bunk house which was umm....a joke? then we went out on the lake a omg! i have NEVER hurt myself sooo much in 1 day in ALL my life! would u like 2 hear about all the "great" owies i got?! OF COURSE YOU DO! well, as i was gettin into the boat....i decided 2 get up from the trailer and i had not so good shoes on...and i slipped and fell......gettin the corner part of the trailer RIGHT INTO my shin bone and ankle bone. WOW! that hurt like a bitch and my bro....of course....laughed @ me. i cut up my shin bone pretty bad (over top of another scar...YAYY!) and i bruised my ankle (the same ankle i fucked up a couple months ago). i think i bruised the bones because it hurts 2 walk. okay...next boo boo. ummm....i was trying 2 push the boat off the sand...and that lil hook thing on the boat (where u tie the rope on...u know?)....well, i got that caught on my arm and i got 2 big bruises on my arms. hmmm....ok....i think this next 1 is the worst. i was water skiing and it was pretty choppy, but i'm use 2 choppiness while water skiing because i've been dooin it so long...and yess. well,....my dad thought that it was 2 choppy and he decided 2 slow down (which ur soooo not suppose 2 do) so while i'm trying 2 keep my balance when we're not goin @ the right speed.....i start arching my back backwards....and then WHOOP! i fell....w/ my back still arched backwards and i cracked my back in like 100000 different spots (and yes Brandon....it was that many...i counted each crack!). wow....my back hurts like a BITCH right now and i can't really sit or do ne thing :-\. o well i guess. then we went back 2 the room...ate and then i stayed outside and looked up @ the stars while every 1 else did other stuff. there were sooooooooooooooo many stars and 4 the 1st time (i think)....i saw a shooting star :0)! it was cooooolio! then i went 2 bed and HOLY COW! the room we stayed in was soooo HOT, HUMID, and STUFFY that i seriously thought i was gonna die. it was so hot and humid....that i couldn't breathe and i seriously had 2 get up about 10 times 2 sit outside juss 2 breathe. it SUCKED! Sunday- yayy! i came home! but b4....we went out on the boat again.....i got up on 1 ski 4 the 1st time!!! o yess.....i got up on a knee board 4 the 1st time 2! i was pimpin it man! of course.....no 1 was proud that i got up on either 1 of those 4 the 1st time. both of em (1 ski...and knee boardin) r HARD 2 get up on. but whatever! then....when we were pulling the boat onto the trailer and then outta the water....i was standing on a slippery part of the ramp and WHOOMP! i fell flat on my ass and BOYY did that NOT help my sore back ONE BIT! it was fuckin funny though....because 2 seconds b4 i fell i said "hey momma....watch.....i'm probably gonna slip and fall right on my ass." and sure enough...i did. i was laughing sooo hard and then when i realized that my back was hurting....i started crying. lol....iono...i'm weird i guess. then....on the way home....it was stormin REALLY bad. i thought there was gonna be a tornado or something...geeze! it was REAL windy....pouring rain....thunder and lightning real bad...and yess. i had 2 touch a big metal gate (2 open it) and i was scared i was gonna die (lol) :-P. then i came home....soaked in the tub....talked 2 my loover and now i'm dooin this. yayy! i'm done!!! i know ALL of u missed me soooo soooo much! yesss.....i'm outtie now. my back hurts. byeee peopleZ |
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| Tuesday, August 19th, 2003 |
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| i'm fuckin bored.....sittin here watchin that Shania Twain in concert thing. i'm not really a fan of hers but when ur boyfriend gets so bored w/ u and decides 2 leave 2 stay @ a friend's house AGAIN the day b4 his girlfriend leaves 4 the rest of the week......then i guess u juss watch whatever crap u can find on tv. i'm not being a bitch, but i thought he said he would stay on 2 talk 2 me 2night b4 i left. i guess i was wrong. sure...i get 2 talk 2 him on the phone 2night.....but that all depends on if he talks. yeah 4get it...ne ways......2day i went 2 my school orientation. it was sooo good 2 c my loover Bob again. i've missed her A LOT. i saw the other people in my posse 2 and it was great. we were all suppose 2 hang out this summer, but i didn't do ne thing w/ ne 1 ONCE this summer. it sucked. i'm soooo pissed bout startin school. the good thing bout everything is that my schedule ended up not having me in that astronomy class that i was gonna try 2 get out of. i'm sooo glad because that class was gonna be WAYY 2 much 4 me and it IS harrrrrd. yeah.....so i'm leaving 2morrow 2 go 2 Mexico until Friday.....i'll come back on Friday and then on Saturday i'm leaving 2 go 2 this lake. we're gonna stay in some bunk house and then go out on the lake on our boat the next day. i'll be coming back on Sunday and then i gotta start effed up school on Monday. joy 2 the fuckin world....eh? well, i'm in a piss ass mood.....so i'm gonna go and pack or whatever. have a good rest of the week and a good w/e every 1. c ya | ||||||||
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| Monday, August 18th, 2003 |
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i'm fallin behind on these entries. i'm gonna try 2 go back and do a new journal entry each day like i use 2. it helps 2 get all my emotions and stuff out....whether they're good or bad. lately my love 4 Aaron has juss been gettin stronger and stronger. i've had my lil bitchy times w/ him that led 2 not nice talking, but we got over that. our love is 2 strong 4 us 2 get mad @ each other 4 a long time. last night....i talked 2 him 4 the 1st time on the phone. it was soooo nice 2 hear his voice, but i felt a lil rejected...? i guess u can say that. he wasn't really talking and it got me scared thinkin that he'd be like that when he's around me :0(. then he told me he was gonna let me go (like hang up w/ me) and iono. that sucked. made me feel like i did something or said something wrong. but all that was cleared up. its all good now and i understand. surprisingly....i wasn't as scared as i thought i would be. ne ways.....i get 2 go 2 school 2morrow 4 orientation. mann.....this summer went by wayy tooo fast! i'm excited that i'll get 2 c Bob and the rest of my posse......but i'm REALLY not ready 2 go back 2 school. a junior...? heck...i still remember the 1st day of 6th grade. y do the years have 2 go by sooo fast? geeeeze. so yeah...i start school next week. not funn @ all. i got a new backpack 2day and some school stuff yesterday. 2morrow i'll get my books....my schedual....my locker....and all that funn stuff. hopefully i'll have classes w/ Bob.....but the BIG hope is 2 have section w/ her. that would be the BEST! i keep thinkin about talkin 2 that lady about changing my classes. she's gonna yell and scream @ me :0(. i'm scurrred. well, my dad said that WE'RE paying THEM and they're not paying us.....so i have a right 2 change my classes if i want 2 and if i think its best. its gay.....cause i wanted 2 sign up 4 graphics art cause we need 2 have a whole year of arts credit 2 graduate and i'm not all that artsy.....so i thought i should take that class. while we were signing up 4 classes b4 the end of the year (Soph year).....they told us that they changed their minds and graphics art wasn't gonna be considered an art credit. that pissed me off.....so i signed up 4 a HARD science class which i don't even need 2 take. i took all my sciences (fyi....i went 2 summer school 2 get 1 outta the way and BOY did that suck!) and i'm only takin an extra science so it looks good on my thinger 4 college. then after we all signed up 4 our new classes this year.....they changed their minds again and said that graphics art IS an art credit. now is that fucked up or what? so technically it ISN'T my fault that i wanna change classes, right? o well. my dad is gonna bitch the woman out and help me out if she yells @ me. so its gonna be ok...i hope :-\. i juss hate getting yelled @. u have nooo idea. i feel like such a low person and iono. i get scared that i'm gonna get hit right after i get yelled @ 2 cause that's juss how i grew up. i would get yelled @ 4 something i did wrong....and then i'd get hit. if Aaron ever yelled @ me....o boyy. i'd be 1 scared lil girl......cause umm.....he'll be pretty strong after boot camp (he probably already is) and o boyy. ne ways....i'm juss blabbing on. imma go hang or something. talk 2 u laterz.....byeee peopleZ! :0) I wuuuv yeeew Aawen! :0) |
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| Saturday, August 16th, 2003 |
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wooow peopleZ! what's wrong w/ me. i use 2 update my journal like...EVERYDAY! ne who.....i haven't really been busy either....juss lazy i guess u can say. nothing really exciting has been going on lately. well,....that's not TOTALLY true. i've been talking 2 Aaron a lot....no actually i haven't. these last few days we've hardly talked because of a bunch of stuff. that power goin out being 1 of em. i sometimes think Aaron doesn't tell me everything and i worry about him a lot. he has been in depression and when his profile goes from being "life is good now!" 2 that linkin park song "In The End." iono....sounds kinda iffy 2 me, but i'm not gonna rag on him ne more. i was quite bitchy earlier w/ him and that's not right. oooo well....we juss gotta get use 2 it i guess. my moods and attitudes aren't gonna always be sweet and i can't help that. yes....we're gonna get into fights and arguments, but that's juss what couples do. we can't agree on everything cause then that would juss get boring. i don't consider the lil things that have been goin on "fights" because iono. they actually ARE fights/arguments considering we've never gotten upset when talkin 2 1 another b4. but i love him....i always will. i'm not perfect......i get bitchy. its not my fault. i hope Aaron knows that i'm sorry 2. hmmm.....i'm goin 2 the Charger game 2night....so that should be funn. i wanna talk 2 Aaron on the phone sooo bad and hear his sweet loving voice. when i hear him actually say "i love you" i'll know that what we have is 10000000% real. i know its real now.....but i'll believe it even more when i actually hear him say he loves me. *does a dance!* i'm excited :0). imma go do some more stuff on my web page. o yeah....4 those of u who don't know it yet....here it is: http://www.geocities.com/ar0uzdm0d3l/aMaZeD_by_yOu.html enjoy! i'll update sooner than what i've been doing. byeee :0) I love you Aaron Baby :0) |
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| Tuesday, August 12th, 2003 |
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| wow....i have so many things running through my head. turns out...Aaron wont be coming out here 4 another year. it hurts me 2 think that because i can't have what i've always wanted 4 another year now :'(. i love him so much and now i juss keep thinking about the hard times i had 2 go through w/ Brett and all his lies. how he use 2 tell me "i'm coming out this time", but then it turned into "i have 2 wait until next year 2 come." then he juss never came and he told me he'd come "@ this time" (never came once again) and so on. i'm scared that's what's gonna happen w/ Aaron. i know it wont happen.....its juss a natural reaction. i've been hurt so many times that my mind automatically thinks that every guy is like my ex's that hurt me in the past.....even though i know Aaron's TOTALLY 100% not like ne other guy i have ever met. its juss hard 4 me :'(. i really do love Aaron more than ne thing. he means sooooo soooo much 2 me. i juss need strength right now....2 get me through all this...... | ||||||||
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| Monday, August 11th, 2003 |
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yes....i created a new name because i juss wasn't telling my true feelings on my other name (icecreamfunn). i wanna tell the world about the man of my dreams....Aaron. i don't know where i'd be w/o him and i don't know what i'd do if i ever lost him. he makes me sooooo happy and its juss so amazing. as some of u know....my man is goin 2 boot camp in Oct. its kinda sad 2 think about, but after that.....he's coming 2 live here!!! W/ MEEE!!!!! i'm gonna get that relationship that i've alway wanted! i'm so happy.....u have NO idea. he's asked me 2 hold a ring that is really close 2 him and i'm juss sooo honored. u have NO idea (once again). so every 1 @ school (and all my other friends outta school).....if u c me w/ a ring on a chain around my neck or a ring on my finger.....ISS FROM MY BABYY!!!!!! gawd i'm so happy w/ him. this is the 1st time in a VERY VERY long time that i've been happy....and i love the feeling. Aaron.....going into the marines...wow! i'm sooo soo proud of u. keep ur head up and a smile on ur face. i love you more than ne thing....always and 4ever. ur the best thing that's ever happened 2 me. i love you :0) |
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Blurty for TaUnI :0).
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pissed off.
anxious.
sore.
grateful.
content.
crushed.