Monica's Journal
20 most recent posts

Date:2009-11-30 23:42
Subject:On My Mind, But Then Again What Isn't
Security:Public

I'll let this entry be public because I feel like it. Certain thoughts are running back and forth through my head and it is annoying. Its basically the things I need to tell certain people to their face.

Let start with Joe first. I just want to say that things at school aren't the same without him and he never really wants to come visit me. I hate begging, shouldn't he want to come see me?? I'm only 10-15min away from his work its not like I'm 40+ miles away!! I feel hurt when he says he hates coming over, I'm hurt when he stays for a little while and the time he does spend here it hurts me that he plays games online or sleeps. I want to take pictures but he hates them, why does he hate pictures so much?? I know he cares about me but show it, seriously! I also hate how he never wants to talk on the phone, and only talks to me when he is in the bathroom or stuck in traffic. So frustrating

To Jen, answer your phone stooge!! lol but I love ya and miss you. AND we need to hangout more!!!!

To my mom, love you and I'm thankful to have you in my life

Lastly the main thought running through my head that makes my blood boil is Joe's friends. I guess hearing and knowing that they still hate me is still bothering me and Joe doesn't like talking about it which I guess could have gone in that above paragraph. To Ritz, you don't even know me!!!!! Stop stringing Alicia around like seriously!! To Alicia, you just hate me because I'm not in your inner circle and I'm another girl in the group. Stop hating on me because I'll be there for the long run and you won't. Lastly to the sad poor man named Robby, there are sooo many things to say. Where to start?? How about shutting the f@*^ up and not telling Joe to break up with me, LET YOUR FRIEND BE HAPPY!! Just because you don't believe in love or relationships in general doesn't mean you should want your best friend to be miserable like you!! Get over yourself, stop your drug and alcohol problems. I tried being nice to you and I forgave you for every ill and rotten thing you have ever done to me, and yet you still hate me for some unknown reason!! I didn't ruin any of your fun at universal on Halloween, I thought we were, dare I say, becoming friends??? I was talking to you about music because you like the same kind I do and I always find it easy to talk about music, but you still hate me for whatever reason!! I really just want to slap you for being so hard headed. I really tried being nice to you, you even said bye to me, which was more than Ritz and Alicia (those jerks) but yet the next day you call Joe and tell him to dump me! How dare you!! Like I told Joe we are too alike, but I'm not as unforgiving and stubborn as you!! Just accept that Joe and I are together and are happy being together. And we would only break up if either one of us cheated on the other. You are not a road block or a threat anymore. I know Joe told you off and it made me feel so good, and him sticking up for me to go to universal made me happy as well. I know he isn't afraid to stand up to you to stick up for me. You should know that you can't persuade him to dump me, come on now you have tried so many times and FAILED!! I'm here for the long run so just accept it! As of right now if Joe and I get married you are for sure in hell not invited at all! I would hire extra security to keep you out for sure. And for you telling Joe to dump me after I was being nice, easy going and on my best behavior just made you look like a douchebag. I can understand if you are mad at me for taking away one of your best friends but the way you are going about it is stupid. Just be nice to me dude, thats all you have to do. Right now I'm the reasonable one and you are the unreasonable one. But ultimately it goes down to what I already said let us be happy and stop bring your hatred of things and depressing-ness on us. No one likes people like you!

That made me feel way better! =)

Just wish I could really say the things I wanted to say to Robby. That would be great, and I wish he could just stand there and take it hahahaha then I would walk away with a big grin on my face and Joe holding my hand lol wow that was lame, but seriously I wish I could say those things to him =D

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Date:2009-07-28 22:36
Subject:Thoughts As Always
Security:Public

So thinking of the Social D song far behind, I have kicked a small amount of people out of my life. I really never thought that I would want to kick anyone out of my life but three people in particular I don't want to talk to, they were nothing but trouble and a fucking headache.

The first person I actually didn't know for that long but he just got irritating and was full of bs. I thought him and his group of friends were pretty cool but he only wanted one thing from me and I knew this guy is just pathetic and a loser. I'm glad of that decision because he got some girl pregnant. He was such a moron. I'm glad I have no way of contacting him even if I wanted to, every blue moon he finds me on myspace and tries to add me and I press deny!!

The next two are a different story, haven't talked to one in a few weeks and another in months

Lets start with the crazy ex, he is just so self centered. The only reason I even talked to him was that I felt so bad for him and I feel as if he is ruining his life. He makes the same bad choices and he wonders why he is unhappy. I said I would help him but in the end he is still the same stubborn person and would not allow me to help, so I said fine. Plus it didn't help that he treated one of our friends like complete crap, so he has one less friend now.

Lastly the unmentionable. I'm just angered about this whole situation. I honestly don't ever want to talk to him or talk about him but I'm making this my last because I need to get things out so they won't bother me later. I really don't know where to start except by saying that I promised him we would always be friends. But as my favorite song goes "words are spoken to be broken". I know he wanted me to break my promise, and he did a fine job of that. Having some stupid chick talking crap about me and my religion. Telling people about personal things and having some dumb bimbo talking crap about my beliefs and religion, that crosses the line. I hope you read this just so you can know how much you hurt me. I thought I had a great friend. If there was something I wanted most in the world it was a best friend. I thought you were my best friend, but I was wrong. Whenever I think I have a best friend something happens, and I'm left without a friend. I should have known you were just feeding me bs because thats what you did to Jen, and of course you did the same to me. Sometimes I find myself missing the friend that I once talked to on the phone for hours. It is hard now and days to have a good phone conversation with someone. I really never had that with anyone else, I miss it, but once I catch myself missing talking to you I think of all the terrible things you have ever done, especially letting whats her name annoying the hell out of me. Hope she is banging you good, hope you get married to such an unclassy person like her. Right now I would prefer you back with cougar, at least she wasn't psycho, well maybe a little but at least she was decent, for a Texan anyway. You know probably a week after we stopped talking I heard your Hoobastank song, and for the first time I heard it in a different way. It was just words, meaningless words, all of it, just like anything that ever came out of your mouth. I know how you operate, I used to be your best friend remember? I know you wanted to give me a final push, all that bs about how we should start being friends all over again should have never been spoken. Especially because in the end you didn't want me in your life. You could have told me, I'm used to these things now. Lets see Juan used to be my best friend he found a new crowd, Jen used to be my best friend u f-ed that up for me, both my roommates don't want to get in the details of both of them, and my guy friends from school they have gf's now. You could have told me instead of your stupid plans, thats all you ever have is stupid plans. After writing this, it has made me feel a little bit better, just thinking of all the bad things, makes me not regret my decision. Like I said the only thing I miss is just conversations, whether they had a point or not, eventually I will find someone to provide me with a good long conversation, I will find another best friend, whether they are long term or not. But more importantly I will find someone who isn't a coward or a backstabber.

These are the types of people who just don't belong in my life

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Date:2007-10-08 20:41
Subject:Never Ending Cycle
Security:Public

I am amused that I find myself in the same state and place as I was last week

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Date:2007-04-05 00:16
Subject:I Think I Jinxed Myself
Security:Public
Mood: sad

So in my last entry I said things haven't been bad, well they just got worse today. Joe was getting all pissy with me and what not. All he did was constantly attack me. It seems like a lot of people have been doing that and not only to me but other people as well. At least there isn't any school on Friday and most people will be leaving tomorrow. Things will hopefully calm down a little bit. But I'm sure for me they will probablly get worse since someone has been being rude and accusing me of things I didn't say. People get so worked up over everything. Obviously some things are supposed to be left unsaid. I see this in soap operas all the time. There is usually one character who has the big dark secret and they do everything to not let it get out and always at the end it does. I think I only ever kept one secret from my mom. Everything else came out into to open. It is so weird how that one secret is shared with my brother. I'm still surprised my mom doesn't really know, she knows the story but not the cause of it, I guess thats one of the ways I can put it. Anyway secrets come out one way or another. It is just the matter of when you want it to come out. I realized today that people don't know me as well as I thought they did. It is hard to find someone who understands you. Also I learned that no matter who my friends are I am never trusted and always the last to know things. Its not like I will look down on the person or say what I'm not supposed to say. But there are always other people who mess things up for me so it seems like I will look at that person in another way or that I can't be trusted. People assume too much these days and they are impatient. I"m just really dissapointed in one particular person right now but he says he should be pissed with me. It is like I can never win, I find myself stuck in the same place I was at four years ago. Some things I guess never change. I guess no one will really understand me. I always thought I found some people who did, but they were just close and not quite there. I can't help right now but to think of the people who I was really close with. But something always happened and they just left. I think that might happen again sometime soon since obviously a lot of people are supposedly angry with me. I feel like crying right now but I don't know why. I didn't do anything wrong for people to get angry with me. But thats just my life I guess. People just get mad at me because they can. I'm the scapegoat. I'm the one who people can attack the easiest. I just try to be a good hearted person. Alright I'll probablly just ramble on for who knows how long, I"m done, and I stopped before the tears almost fell.

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Date:2007-04-03 18:03
Subject:Just Need To Write
Security:Public
Mood: sick

So I don't feel like doing my work right now. Since I have been in college I haven't written a lot in any of my journals. I like this one the best out of all my other journals. Just because not a lot of people know about this one and because I don't think blurty is that much anymore. So I guess the reason I haven't been writing that much is that not a lot of bad things have been happening to me. And I started writing when things were going really crappy for me. But things have been going great for me and also I usually wrote when I was bored and had nothing better to do. But here at college there is always soemthing to do. But I will try to make sometime again to write. Next month school will be over and I'll have more time again.

Anywy I am still sick. I have been sick for over two weeks >_< It sucks so much. I have been taking care of myself but I haven't been getting any better. Hopefully I will get better before Friday. Since Friday is Good Friday my mom, my bro and I will be going to the zoo like we always do. But I'm a little sad that I won't be able to spend Easter with my family. I'll be here at school helping out with masses and what not. Plus I acutally have a lot of work to do this weekend and I know if I stay at home longer I will not get it done because I would want to spend time with my family. Being at college and away from home has made me realize how much I do love my family. College is such a great experience. And I am so thankful that my family let me come here. Yea I think thats all I want to write about right now. But life is good except for the sick part.

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Date:2007-02-15 18:16
Subject:Same Old Shit
Security:Public
Mood: depressed

I don't know how I got sucked into drama again but I did. People think I'm stupid, but I'm not. I'm smarter then what a lot of people give me credit for. Sure I act immature but I take school seriously. I don't think anyone at schools understands me at all. People say they are my friends but I know who my true friends are. A lot of people here are self centered. I guess thats what college does to you. Besides it only gets worse from here because then you start meeting people in your major and then the next thing you know you are going head to head with them for a job. it seems people will do anything to get ahead and have control. I saw this and still see this in one particular person, Favis. He wanted more friends and wanted a place to "belong" so he joined a frat and stopped talking to me along with onther people who really cared about him. I try not to offend people or get them angry but when I start feeling miserable and like crap then I have to do something. The greatest thing I have learned about being true friends with someone is that they can tell you the truth to your face and you can tell them the truth to their face and the two of you are still friends. You don't hide shit from your friends. When you keep secrets then there is no trust and friendship is based on trust. I have been screwed over so many times, and yes I always have my guard up. It is a good thing I do because there are liars all around me. No I'm not paranoid, if I was I probablly wouldn't talk to anyone. I don't know it is just that I have had a tough life up to this point and no one here really knows that. They just know some of the things but they don't know the whole story. I guess the only person who knows would be Jen and possibly Damian, but for sure Jen. But if people could put themselves in my shoes maybe they will understand a little better. As always people spread rumors and lie. Mostly decieve and manipulate. I have decided I'm going to let people talk their shit but if I am asked for the truth I will give it. I really wished I lived in a world with no drama and lies. But I don't think there is a world like that. I just have to make the best of things but I will not let people walk over me like in the beginning of senior year. That I think were the worst times of my life. But I'm glad I don't associate myself with that group of people anymore. It really damaged me and it hasn't healed yet. A lot of things still haven't healed and I'm waiting but I don't think they ever will.

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Date:2007-01-05 11:58
Subject:First Entry Of 2007
Security:Public
Mood: hopeful

The break has been pretty dull. It was good in the beginning but then of course all good things come to an end. Jen got pissed at me because I couldn't call Juan, the thing is I didn't have his number. So she decided to stop talking to me. I realized I don't have that many friends back at home. Well I never really had any here to begin with. I at least got to spend time with my friend Liana. She really is a great friend. At least I got one friend from youth group. Everyone else I can't stand. Plus I know some of them hate me or they have their own problems to deal with. Too much drama. I'm glad I don't really see them anymore, also one more thing to add they are a bunch of backstabbers anyway. I just wish I had just one really good friend. Yea I have a lot of friends but I'm always second to someone else. I would say Jen is my best friend but we aren't talking right now and besides she puts Enrique and Juan over me. I would just like one person who I know will listen to me when I need to talk and answer their phone. I know perfectly well Jen hardly answers her phone and that when she is on the phone talking to me she never listens. I find it amusing that if I were to look back at my older entries in the journal I'm writing about the same things, I guess my life hasn't changed that much in the good friend category. I'm surprised I haven't wrote anything in here for a while. Usually when I feel down or a little lonely I always find that writing down my feelings here help me a lot. Well I go back to school tomorrow and mostly everyone will be back on Sunday. I just need to get away from my home. It somewhat depresses me. There aren't a lot of friends here, just a lot of bad memories and problems. I can't wait untill I am back at school I can once again forget about lots of things and start thinking about new things. I can't wait until the end of January for the formal for the entire school. Hopefully it will be wonderful.

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Date:2006-12-10 22:37
Subject:Feeling Like Crap.... So Whats New?
Security:Public
Mood: crappy

I think I know why I'm pissed at Joe and my family. Well lets just say Joe didn't say anything or stood up for me to Robbie. I believe I'm mad at him for that because no one ever sticks up for me. Not even my parents. My dad never sticks up for me when his family trash talks me. My mom never sticks up for me when my dad is yelling at me or calling me names. Favis didn't stick up for me that one time Nate was being rude to me. I think the only person has has stuck up for me is my brother. But I treat him like crap and I shouldn't deserve him sticking up for me. Sometimes though he doesn't and that pisses me off. Jen never stuck up for me when me and Enrique used to not get along. No one has ever truly cared enough to stick up for me. I am always getting let down. People say they care but its all lies. Well I guess people care but they still care about someone else more. It feels like I'm never good enough, I'm second string. This might sound kind of selfish but its how I feel. I doubt one person out there even understands what I am saying. Besides sometimes I don't even understand myself, so how can anyone else?

One more thing, Des told Joe that I didn't like him, the truth is that I was truly indifferent, I didn't know how to feel about him. I never told Des however that I didn't like him nor did I tell her that I liked him. I'll let people assume what they want. Besides I myself never know when I like someone, I'm just weird like that.

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Date:2006-12-09 11:25
Subject:Life Sucks
Security:Public
Mood: crappy

Yesterday was such a crappy day, I felt like shit and totally unwanted by everyone. My parents were supposed to pick me up so that I could go to my mom's work's Christmas party. But my dad didn't want to come and pick me up last night or this morning. Fuck I feel even rejected by my family. It is bad enough that my fucking friends hate me but now my family? Yesterday Des got angry and we all ended up in the library and then they all left and I stayed there. I was thinking that I am absolutely going insane. This past week I have been doing insane things and I don't know why. At times I'm perfectly "normal" but then I just go out of control. So after thinking this to myself I went to Malone to take off all the makeup on my face because I knew I couldn't hold the tears back. So I went to the bluff and just walking there I started to cry. The tears wouldn't stop streaming down my face. So I sat down and was just thinking that most of this I brought upon myself and that I did deserve it. But from my family? Then some of my good friends here? Whatever I just felt like shit. I was thinking that no one here cares. I couldn't think of one person at my school who I could call. This felt like such a low point for me. I have all these friends but who could I go to for help? Anyway went back to the room to go get some sleep my eyes were still red from crying and I didn't want des to see that was crying. I don't know if she did or not but she might have thought I did. Then when I was trying to get some sleep Jen called me. After talking to her I felt so much better. I'm glad I still have her. Then I went to bed feeling way better. Today is another day and I have no idea how it is going to go. But I'm just going to do my own thing today. Its not like people here give a shit anyway.

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Date:2006-11-20 20:56
Subject:Unchanging
Security:Public
Mood: indifferent

I feel as if most people around me are changing. They change and then they convince themselves that they don't need you anymore. Well right now Des and I were walking from Crimson and we see Favis and people from the frat. We passed them by folley pond and we figured that they were going to throw him in. So we sat down and watched them throw him in. It was pretty funny. It was sad though that he didn't even say a word to us. I'm pretty sure he saw us but he looked happy with all of his new friends. People change and move on. I feel like I'm always in the same spot. I like the way I am and I am not changing for anyone. It is sad when friend leave you standing by yourself. They have grown up and they just don't need you anymore. The saddest thing about this however is that the people who were their friends to begin with are actually the ones who care about them the most and they never realize it....

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Date:2006-11-14 10:25
Subject:All Over Again
Security:Public
Mood: depressed

So feelings of being alone and feeling unwanted are coming back into my life. I feel like I have been distant with people and that others are being distant with me. I'm pertty sure Des is pissed at me. She has every right to feel that way because I think I have been a crappy friend. I feel like crap because Favis was being a crappy friend to me and I hated it but here I am being a crappy friend to Des. At this point I don't deserve to be anyone's friend. I have been acting chldish for no reason what so ever. I'm just a wreck right now and no one should put up with me. I used to have people who would want to put up with me but I kicked one out of my life and the other just stopped listening to me. I really just want to start crying but I can't. I really wish for some weird reason to talk to Favis, I could talk to him easily and he listened to me somewhat. I really feel alone now even though I have people around me. I know some of them are sincere in being my friend but I feel really messed up that I don't see it. I have no idea what I'm talking about now. I'm going insane thats all.

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Date:2006-10-20 14:05
Subject:Didn't Need To Until Now
Security:Public
Mood: gloomy
Music:Stone Sour- Through Glass

So I haven't updated in a while only because I find this journal to be useful only when I am extremely happy or depressed. Well this week sucked ass. Right now I hate certain people because they are so unreliable. I don't know what it is except for the fact that things are happening all over again. I don't know what it is but Favis reminds me so much of Juan and I am super sensitive when it comes to friends. i guess thats why I'm so pissed at him right now. He has so much time for other people but when it comes down to me its like I'm unimportant. I hate feeling unimportant. I have always felt this way throughout my whole life. Thats why I like to have lots of friends and know lots of people. I have a problem with wanting attention, I admit it. Also I let people have huge impacts on me, well certain people. I guess I'm going in that depressed stage again with friends. I'm glad though that Jen called me yesterday, I really do miss her. I miss Juan too, I think I should call him sometime soon. Once again I'm telling you that I am super sensitive when it comes to friends. It sucks when friends ditch you for other people and you try to get a hold of them but because its YOU they don't care. But if you were someone else it wouldn't be a problem. I don't know why people do this to me. I don't know why I'm so emotional right now. I guess its because I haven't thought of all these things in a long time. The scars are still there inside of me. They still hurt me to this day. Something always comes back in my life to bring them back. I hate them so much and I wish they would go away. I have no idea if they will ever go away. I thought I over came them when I came here but they are back, taunting me and teasing me. Its the issue of friends and who my real friends are. I have no idea anymore. I really don't know who is truly there for me anymore. I thought I did but I don't. My family of course but which friends? People who I think are my real friends always turn out to stab me in the back. It hurts so much. Thats why I try not to do it to others. But I have done it in my relationships but those were under different circumstances. Thank God that I'm going on retreat because I think I'll go crazy if I can't about things with people who would understand. I really hope to make awesome real friends. Yea I think I'm just ranting now but it is helping me think and clear my mind, and this is the most I have ever cried here. Its because I'm thinking of all the hurt I have undergone from friends. It is still happening right now in the present. This is my huge weakness. I let it get to me but this topic like I said is extremely sensitive and it is also very important to me. So its good and bad that Favis reminds me of Juan but they aren't the same person. But they both have done similar things to me like toss me to the side. Favis says that he has been busy, I should be understanding but it is hard for me to understand now because I have been lied to so many times. That is why I hate fake people and liars. Liars do hurt people and I have been so many times by liars and every single time someone lies to me it hurts. Why do I have so many problems with friends and people? Is there something wrong with me? I honestly think there are a lot of people here who can't stand me or stand the things I do. Like I said I'm a person who needs attention. I guess I never really got much attention in my life, whenever I get it, it makes me feel good about myself. I guess what I'm feeling right now is my low point. Feeling unwanted right now is my low point of the day. My family really loves me and I know that but I need people outside my family to want to care for me. Family is somewhat obligated because you are related by blood anf flesh. But it feels so much better to be cared for by those who aren't related to you. Yea I just thought to include that. Anyway I know Favis and Juan aren't the same people but I'm associating them together and I can't stop. To me favis is just another Juan and like Juan he forgot about me. I know it sounds stupid but its just the way I feel right now and this is my journal and I will write what I want.

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Date:2006-08-04 09:30
Subject:Relaxation Time!
Security:Public
Mood: bouncy

Going on vacation for a week YAY!!!!!!

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Date:2006-07-31 23:03
Subject:Updating The Blog
Security:Public
Mood: happy
Music:The Fray- How To Save A Life

It seems like I haven't updated this in a awhile but this blog is special to me and a lot of the entries are private. Yep anyway had a super long weekend, I need to find time to post up pictures on the myspacer. Yep vacation starts this friday, another weekend not at home and out of town. I would love to hang out with Jen again because we had such a great time two Saturdays ago. But this upcoming week its about family and I don't know if I could stay in a car for a long period of time with my brother in the car, AAAH!! Hopefully he won't bother me too much and hopefully I'll get a lot of good pictures. I just remembered that I never posted up my pictures from Hawaii. I had a bunch of good ones too. Maybe if I ever find enough time I can post them. Yea ok thats it until later

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Date:2006-06-16 23:04
Subject:BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!!
Security:Public
Mood: hopeful

Yea so my birthday is tomorrow. But there is really one thing I want. I don't know if it will happen or not. Its something really little too. If it happened though it would brighten up my day so much. I would say what it is but then it might not come true and I would really like this small wish to come true, it would make all the difference.

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Date:2006-05-05 23:14
Subject:Hoping
Security:Public
Mood: tired

So next week Wednesday is my two AP exams. I"m so nervous for Chem, I just want to do my absolute best. For Psychology I just don't want to be brain dead from taking the chem test. But on Thursdaythe seniors get to go on a field trip. Then exactly one week from today next Friday is Bosco's prom!!!! I can't wait. I just know it is going to be sooo much fun. Also tomorrow is my brother's birthday and we are all going to go bowling then afterwards going to dinner. I'm so going to beat Mikey tomorrow =P Yea certain people just make my day complete. OOH and also today was good. I went to main with Ashley and we ate huge ice cream cones which were really good. Then went out with Mikey as usual. Anyway I'm tired so I'm heading off to bed.

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Date:2006-04-25 18:27
Subject:A Little Miracle
Security:Public
Mood: bouncy

Yea so the week did go well as planned except for the fact that me and Jen are fighting again. I haven't talked to her since Saturday. Whatever, if she wants to talk to me she can call me. But now we have this little kitty, we call Minnie because she looks like Kibbe but a tinier version. I just hope we get to keep her.

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Date:2006-04-17 18:55
Subject:Life, Blah
Security:Public
Mood: okay
Music:REM- It's the End Of The World

Well life is ok, at first I thought it was going really good but now it is spiraling downwards. But its going to go up and down like a yoyo, I just know it. Anyway the next four weeks are so packed for me. But hopefully everything will go well. This week will be great besides the fact that I have to manage to get my homework done. Well tomorrow is the zoo, Wednesday is Knotts, and Thursday is the science center. Then this Saturday going to nucleus to see Foreign and Domestic!! I can't wait for that. Then the weekend after is the confirmation retreat that I am helping out with. Then maybe the weekend after that I might go with Jen and Enrique to Enrique's prom with this really weird looking guy. THen the following week AP exams, AAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! But the day after, Thursday, is our religion field trip and then Friday going to Bosco's prom with Mikey. Then the weekend after is my prom =) WOOT WOOT!!!!! Yea I'm quite busy. Then I think two weeks after prom is graduation. I can't believe four years passed by so quickly. It just seemed like yesterday when I was graduating eigth grade. But this year has been so crazy. Even though a lot of it sucked it will all be good in the end.

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Date:2006-03-13 15:37
Subject:How I See The World And How The World Sees Me
Security:Public
Music:Madonna- Frozen

Yea so the world is fucked up. I really wish that it was better. But it isn't. I am distant from the world now. I don't know if I closed myself up or if the world closed itself to me. People probablly look at me as a loner. But I see the world as a sad pathetic place. If I could I would give the world a makeover and make it great. But for now I will be looked upon as a loner, but hopefully when I go to college I might just see that the world can be a better place.

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Date:2006-03-12 15:00
Subject:Head........................Hurting
Security:Public
Mood: lonely
Music:Foo Fighters- Everlong

So I am getting over being sick. Being sick sucks. Yea my head hurts now. Besides being sick I don't know what else is wrong with me. There is something else but I'm not too clear on what it is. I just can't stand certain people and also people just love to piss me off. Plus other things that are unclear at the time being is confusing the hell out of me because I don't know what they are. I think that it has something to do with guys. I don't want a boyfriend right now in my life but I wish I did at times. I'm lacking someone caring for me I guess. I just need someone to hug and hold on to.

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