David's Journal

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Tuesday, September 7, 2004

10:16PM - it all ends here and begins once again...

its that time i dread to see back to school ...its always that first week that everyone is like back from summer and all hyped up and just so excited but there isnt really much to get excited about since its only school eh maybe i havent got the "school fever"

theres a part of me that want to go back and see the ppl that grew over the summer maybe appearances changes and their personalities i dunno but i ll find out soon or later

i like all my classes their decent to the point that i wont dread walking into class everyday ...well maybe trig/calculus but hey all the other classes make up for it

too bad i have lunch at 7th period which i dont think i have with neone i chill wit so yea i think i m goin to be a loner :( what makes things worse i ll probably be the only senior without a car to go out to lunch

life bites but wat can i do i just live it day by day

i bullshit alot so dont mind me its just me gettin all the frustration out and noone seems to understand and my parents wont pay for a shrink since i m such a cost burden to them already...

well tomorrow is another entry which should be interesting ...give ya the 411 on first day of school at becton high

Current mood: crappy

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Sunday, August 29, 2004

Thursday, August 19, 2004

12:55AM - its 20 days til .....

this summer has its ups and downs while it was quite memorable and my last summer as a kid/teenager since next time around i ll have to be prep and ready for college!

its wasnt all that bad i mean even with the limited time i have to chill wit ppl and free time most of it was due to work and yes everyone knows work = money so i hope to get my car this year and yea if not then i got to work even harder next year ..role model to follow RJ deVera man dedication and patience was the keys to open his door to the import culture and hopefully by following his footsteps i could well be on my way there too soon

nothing special has happen yet lately everything seems to be normal and flowing like usual

oo i saw the new sidekick II thats coming out in fall so hopefully i could have that in my hands and not lose it like i did wit the first one dumb mistake! well crossing my fingers that is the best thing to happen since color cellulars!

i brought 2 books from B&N and neva got the time to finish reading them i ll have to read them during school or sumthin ehh i procrastinate too much lol

i m preppin myself for school soon
my schedule is like this
per 1- trig
per 1.2- pre calculus
per 2 - study ..ahh mr carr crap i hate him !
per 3- english 12 cp
per 4- gym awesome!
per 5- sports and enterntainment marketing
per 6- journalism
per 7- lunch omg i cant wait til 1ish to eat since u kno i dont have breakfast usually lol
per8 - financial planning
per8.2- business law
per 9- desktop publishing

that does it for now but i think i m goin to see if i can change my study into a class cuz i just dont want mr. carr there and i need sumthing to do other then like work in the morning in a class that is meaningless
so far the other teachers dont have a issue with but ms ferris is a bitch! lol ;)

my locker is on the lower level next to who? hopefully sumone cool cuz i got stuck wit like hubert the weird polish kid for 3 yrs straight ...well my homeroom is 109 and thats the clothing or foods room dont kno the teacher there but she better be nice!

i m outs

Current mood: amused

Current music: DJ GrEeNLaNtERn on the 1 n 2's

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Monday, August 16, 2004

12:34AM - hittin' a different note...

its 8am and i m awaken by the music playin on my stereo some song from apollo 440 its no use to lift my body off the bed yet since i didnt have to go to work or do nething but go to my grandmas bday shes 70 it was in the city with the other family there and it was nice and festive...

through out the day i was fine ...after the brunch party in the city i ended up goin home changing clothes and going to the willowbrook mall which i saw a familiar face but didnt want to say hi cuz of fear of my cousin terrorizing her so i saved her and myself in a way that no embarassment was releashed...

after the mall ...since i did most of the buying i bought stuff from aero and champ sport just like sweatshirt, tees, and a cargo but i ll go again next week or the couple of days before school starts to get shoes and other articles
willowbrook was fun and the girls there are nice

my day became night quickly and with that i began to dread how i dislike relatives well the younger ones since their so immature and like i just dont get along with them its hard to explain but i m sure that most of the 18 yr olds that have annoying 13 yr old cousin would understand

we ended up eatin a bit and watching hellboy not bad movie a bit like boring but action filled
the ending was like romantic

so many things today remind me of ppl of the past that i m trying to forget i m goin to start this school year wit a possesive note and try not to make new friends unless its to the point that we get along very well and wat not i cant stand how ppl can be your friend for awhile and then not the next day for a reason they dont tell and i dont understand

lately work has gotten me fatigued and i cant seem to finish my house chores because of that and my relatives drive me crazy and i missed out on another guys night and then i m all like negative and i just wanna resort to like doing sumthing to get my mind off of all this crap but theres nothing to do literally

i ll be waking up at 6 today or tomorrow how eva u want to put it cuz my cousin is goin to leave and yea these rascals tend to mess up my room or take sumthing so i have to escort him out

i m very tired now hopefully tomorrow will bring a better day for me and if not i ll have to tough it out alone

how important is it to have friends? is there a limit? could there be nemore pain in this ...

Current mood: annoyed

Current music: Ap0ll-0 440

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Monday, August 9, 2004

12:33AM - essence of my life...

nothing can hurt me now since i have nothing to fear
you torment me with the things i want to hear...

eh life gives you oppertunities and what you do with them you ruin it, always with the simplest ways and i learned the hard way
its not how you approach it but how you tend on finishing it
life is meaningless really if your not loved by neone and given love to sumone i see that your life is quite empty not useless as you could be a slave in the corporate empire making money for the economy and being a object of the community...but i m just babbling about this crap cuz i m bored and i m just thinking and i need to type so here it is


i have a headache from thinking about it all i m just so confused and i dont want to go on with it...i knew it was too good to be true and i dont want to stress on this nemore i ll just have to know that its a fact that i m goin to be alone forever cause its just not my nature to be with neone i m just not right like a malfunction to humanity a broken merchandise...i hate it but i ll live wit it at least sumone shares a similiar interest ironic i guess...

i give up on love its nothing to me all i have is time to let me know all those minutes and hours wasted thinking i could have made a difference in sumones' life or change sumthing or the impossible love...not for me!

i m just reallly pissed off and depressed so dont mind me!!!!

Current mood: crushed

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Sunday, August 8, 2004

Sunday, August 1, 2004

Thursday, July 29, 2004

12:14AM - in the end...

i truly see and understand it all through this i can grow, move, learn, and keep this as a memory a lesson learned and never again to do this again to put myself in a situation and a position where i contradict myself and question the theories and the possibilities....
something i just have to deal with and the best thing is time i guess or some words of wisdom from a fellow

it haunts me as i sleep so i lose sleep to figure it all out....much planning is needed to complete my masterpiece art!

Current mood: scared

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Tuesday, July 27, 2004

11:15PM - its been great ....more than great!

Your a concotion of all the things that could come out of a wonderful and beautiful person
Some how i have this magnetic attraction to my fascination your the type of girl that comes out of my imagination
How is it possible that this treasure is so far away wen its right in front of me for me to grasp
But it seems i lost the grip and the integrity to keep you satisfied
Nothing has changed its been the same
You reside in my heart and made it ur home there u can be comfortable and emit any emotions you have as it welcomes you everytime

great things in life dont come twice so therefore i take it as it sits there on the other side of this "fence" so innocent and adorable...

Current mood: curious

Current music: Lit...Times like this...

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8:03PM - wat possibly could go wrong now....

dave actually had a day off today and it was pretty good while it lasted
todays agenda
1. woke up went to SAT
2. wait for bus came home
3. went out for a drive
4. thought about gettin her sumthin
5. got it drove to her place
6. waited
7. still waiting
8. her bro came and help me give it to her lol
9. went home ate food
10. worked out in the gym de la casa lol
11. bleed on myself (cut on thumb)
12. went to sleep
13. now awake and lively

haha wat a day right lol well i hope tomorrow is another day off which i doubt but hey its all good at least i wont be in a pissed off mood...awww friday is my last day at the SAT classes well that means i get a pizza party there and i get a awesome TPR "the princeton review" T shirt woo woo!
i ll miss those guys and i ll miss those lessons that got drilled in my head within 1 month period lol
1200!!! Rutgers here i come!
i hope my boss is goin to let me have a couple of off-days in august cause theres a few things that i want to do and like complete before the school year starts and then i cant do them cuz of school and blah blah crap! olol

dude i still need to get a car and the worst part i m like hypocritial about it i m torn from so many choices well once i find out my budget and if i m using my own funds then i ll decide on a pernanment vehicle but for now i m just dreaming for nething thats fast! ;)

Current mood: awake

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Monday, July 26, 2004

12:20AM - 8 ball~

theres nothing like a guys night at the billiards and driving around then wendys it was a well deserved night i was satisfied but i was dissappointed that i made a fool out of myself today but oh wells not like it matters...

billiards was nice...even though bard didnt play and was just there merely as decoration...i lost to JP and Jerr
not too bad i mean i havent played in such a long time and the guys were all missing me damn felt good to have guys like those they care and stuff
ok before i get all sentimental here i miss them too and yea we got to chill more often as this summer is like the last i ll see them

kev and bard came up wit the idea that all the guys from becton should go on a Jamaica trip summer of 2005 i was like ehh i m not jamaican mon! lol well i dunno the sound of unlimited food + liquor got me but wat hurt me to hear was the price for the pot we have to chip in is $1800...sry guys but i have the money but i cant just dish out that cash for a week trip down there we go to college that summer and i need to save like a beaver with its sticks to build my dam...lol weird metaphor hope u get it

eh wat else is there for todays agenda well i got my magazines in the mall all 6!! woo
i went to B&N to get books damn i wasnt a bookworm but wen u go to a section u like its like i want this and that and the total of the prices of the book go into like 4 figures and then u have to pick which ones u want most and yea i picked 2...business plan - strategies...and bad habits that set good people back...i hope they are wat i m looking for cuz i need to foward myself into business and get out of my bad habits lol

i got AVAITOR sunglasses the ones that pilots wear before flight time lol :) awesomeness to the core ... my cousin got them at his old job and now i have them but yea i look like a bug wen i wear them ...their for special occasions so yea u ll have to check them out


well i m goin to talk to the idol of my life now lol cyas chao!

Current mood: content

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Thursday, July 22, 2004

1:20PM - well how do u live life?

Today was a weird day, its one of those moment where your walking to the bus stop from ur SAT class that u fell asleep in and just didnt pay attention at all because ur mind was overwhelmed with things u consistently think about worry about care about and such...
I felt very empty and alone all of sudden as i walked down the urban but yet a hint of suburbania there in the background i felt lost but i knew my direction
I waited for the bus and as it came around the corner it was clear that my fear has come again that the the bus is a vessel to my dreadful home where i have to deal with all the insanity that continues from my faulty father and overbearing grandma...life gives u the best things and the worst things at the sametime...
I entered my room and just threw my lifeless body upon my bed and open my window shades slightly to just let a sliver of sun light hit me as i just daze at it
my body was relaxed calmed and in a state of tranquilty

Today i must have been like bi polar i dont kno maybe but it was depressing and yea i dont like feeling like that and i try not to feel that way or resort to that its just some things come to you that u cant stop
I was suppose to do things today see my special person but plans like always ruin by work
I could never be dependable or like be there for sumone or be around them wen i m suppose to
I want to be, cause theres so many restrictions in my life....I cant

wats life to u?...

Current mood: disappointed

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Wednesday, July 21, 2004

8:57AM - secrets are revealed....

cant help the way i feel so this is what i compare it to this song is very nice and makes me think about you...

~Rendezvous~

Craig David this is how we do it (This is how we do it)
Yeah well come on check it out
Whatcha doing cos we'll be rendezvousing & you know we'll be getting
some getting jiggy just for fun
Whatcha doing cos we'll be rendezvousing & you know we'll be getting
some getting jiggy just for fun
Whatcha doing cos we'll be rendezvousing & you know we'll be getting
some getting jiggy just for fun
Whatcha doing cos we'll be rendezvousing & you know we'll be getting
some getting jiggy just for fun

Six o'clock in the morning wipe the sleep from my eyes (yeah)
Felt just like an ordinary day
Just around the corner, such a surprise, a beautiful angel materialised
Time stood still face to face
I'm sure we'd met in another time and place (met in another time and
place)

Our eyes met as you passed me by (passed me by)
Two souls entwined in the blink of an eye (yeah)
And I had to figure out what I'd be missing
So I turned to you and asked you if you wanted to
(You know we'll be getting some getting jiggy just for fun)

Rendezvous where to my place say 2 & we can do anything you wanna do
Hey, tonight is your night yeah
Where you close your eyes, take a minute, take a moment realise
Do you see me when you fantiasise
Tonlight'll be your night

I'm just sitting here daydreaming about you and all the things you do
Girl feels so right
And all I know is your the one for me, that special kinda' lady
In my life, in my life

Well here I am writing you a love song
Holding back those years, it's been so long
And I can't deny the way that I'm feeling (feeling)
It's true, so girl that's why I'm asking you, can we...

Rendezvous where to my place say 2 & we can do anything you wanna do
Hey, tonight is your night yeah
Where you close your eyes, take a minute, take a moment realise
Do you see me when you fantiasise
Tonlight'll be your night

Darling tell me, what's on your mind? what are you thinking
Hey what you thinking?
Hey what you thinking?
Darling tell me what's on you mind?
What's on your mind yeah?
Darling what are you thinking
Now darling what are you thinking...

Rendezvous where to my place say 2 & we can do anything you wanna do
Hey, tonight is your night yeah
Where you close your eyes, take a minute, take a moment realise
Do you see me when you fantiasise
Tonlight'll be your night

I'm just sitting here daydreaming about you and all the things you do
Girl feels so right
And all I know is your the one for me, that special kinda lady
In my life, in my life yeah

Whatcha doing cos we'll be rendezvousing & you know we'll be getting
some getting jiggy just for fun
Whatcha doing cos we'll be rendezvousing & you know we'll be getting
some getting jiggy just for fun
Whatcha doing cos we'll be rendezvousing & you know we'll be getting
some getting jiggy just for fun
Whatcha doing cos we'll be rendezvousing & you know we'll be getting
some getting jiggy just for fun

Current mood: accomplished

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Tuesday, July 20, 2004

1:21PM - soo confused confused confused....

its a echo in my head as i sleep as to wat the answer lies ahead
today is a day to think, realize, grow, and decide wat the next great step is goin to be
it wasnt til now that i find myself in a paradox situation where i m torn from being happy or being hurt
life has got me taggled in the web i have spun and there is no way out of it now
i ve gone too deep fallen into a endless pit

who will save me now?

Current mood: crappy

Current music: brand new love-- deadsy

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Monday, July 19, 2004

9:47PM - so u wrote it down said it million times so it cant escape your head

these last couple days have been fun and memorable and juss greatness to the max
i think its time for that sumone to kno that shes my special sumone
that i care about and is taking a liking to and would like to start something and see where it takes us...

lol

work for me is fine nothing satisfies dave more then working 13 hours a day and have no play
one of my philosophy is play hard and work hard well i m doin the other half tremendously and yea where the hell is the fun ...hopefully this thursday i ll be home and get to go to philly wit my special friend ;)
it will be "awesomeness on a stick ©" lol

yea i feel like summer is ending so quick and theres not enough time to do the things i want to complete this summer before goin into senior year hopefully i will and if i dont then yea i m juss my usual procrastinator! lol i ll get out of that phase soon enough

things i want to get this summer in august most likely wit cuz Tony or my sis...
1. car or sportsbike
2. lip pierced (uh maybe i dunno at the moment i like it but i dunno i might change)
3. tattoo *most likely once i get bigger then my arm is ready
4. GF...lol the progress seems to be goin well i might say ;)
5. renovate my room ...jaclyn knos wat i m doin ask her! lol
6. uh thats about it and yea after 5 things i think thats being overly greedy or like confident lol

i m keepin my fingers cross for #4 as i think she has found out who she is by now and is playing along in the game....muhahaha

Current mood: flirty

Current music: why does my room have to be so close to the AC....lol

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Thursday, July 15, 2004

11:03PM - its once in a life time ....

holy crap today was amazing and maybe thats a understatement lol
shell "fishing" is the bomb diggity! especially wen jaclyn attempts to push u in the waves lol
the feeling of sharing a moment like that was juss awesomeness

well that will go right up there with the night in NYC lol i m finding myself being more n more adventureous now a days thanx to a certain sumone :)

i wish the night never ended and it would juss go on a continuous non stop adventure lol that would be super duper cools!!

ahh SAT sucks and work suck and parents suck lol hooray!
well those things dont bother me too much i hope i dont get like punish for this crap cuz its seriously stupid of them to
next week everything will be fine like usual and i should be back on the road lol

this summer has been a good one and hopefully go down in history as the Best Summer of 2004!!! lol
well just waiting patiently for that moment to come...

"If your heart was Gramercy Park, Let me be your Key..."
-- anonymous

Current mood: nostalgic

Current music: Deadsy songs i ve just downloaded! lol

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Sunday, July 11, 2004

Thursday, July 8, 2004

1:34PM - its better if the truth surfaced...

<1> last nite was probably the worst moments where i debate between "to tell or not to tell this person" who i am very very fond of*(like/love/care alot about/etc...). i have a sense that she doesnt feel the same way about me but yea i m goin to take the advice which i usually give my friends i m juss goin to tell her neways and find out wat happens afterwards...
its goin to be hard but like life nothing good comes easy!
<2> couldnt sleep last night cause I was thinking about how to approach this and i m usually very nervous at moments like this i dunno why?!? but i hope i dont like make a ass out of myself lol
<3> went to SAT it was ok like usual
<4> came home grabbed a bite of pizza
<5> went to the gym that i havent gone to for the past like 5 days my muscles will be crying and sore today and i ll make sure of it lol
<6> shower eat some more and then i dunno hopefully the car is usable lol
<7> go to paneras and get wonderful muffins for the wonderful jaclyn :)
<8> if everything goes well i believe i ll be spending my evening with jaclyn and whoeva thats up for a crazy night or somewat crazy depends u ll have to join us to see lol

thats the agenda for me today and tomorrow will only get better cuz i have SAT classes and i m home but hopefully in search of a job but i desperately need a vehicle for transportation ....come on parents tap into my college funds i dont care i need me wheels!! lol ;)

Current mood: crushed

Current music: Techno Junk...

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Monday, July 5, 2004

12:06AM - I M GOIN TO IHOP!!!!

lol great night for me cuz i got to see a certain sumone and also chilled wit kathy n jaclyn...:)
always good times i m happy i hope they were happy and yea i think i mite have spooked kathy with the midgetville thing lol sry

i saw some fireworks well early ones and then tonite it was like 5 mins cus we missed it its k tho cuz then we got back and lost in moonachie for like 2 mins lol

i say this was the best 4th of july ever but it could have went a bit better if i had gone with my original plans but yea i dunno if they would have worked the sameway

hope to see the ppl i love soon

laters i m goin to stay up til the weeee hours again :)

Current mood: bouncy

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Sunday, July 4, 2004

1:14AM - Its all her fault for making me feel this way.....

Hey read this and tell me wat you think yea i wrote it i kno wow dave did this ....hey wen i think about her this is wat gets me to write this stuff so yea "you" out there hope you like it and someday u ll find out who i am and wat i can do to make u the happiest person possible....cuz i think your the greatest !!

From My Heart to Yours.....

Emotions endured
Words spoken
Ideas written
Visions imagined
Its been blissful
With you around
But I’m sorry that
I have found a feelings inside
That I cant hide
No more is it a secret
It is evident
Even you will see
How much you mean to me
If you let me
My arms can be your sanctuary
You can be safe from all harm and wrong doings


Sunset with saffron swallowing it whole
Air so clean and pure almost like the scent
Of your favorite perfume
Stars and clouds swirl
Together as if they danced
Shooting stars
Flows through the sky in a rhythmic pattern
Closest thing to this magic fantasy is 1 star, 1 rose, 1 sun, and 1 moon
They all coincide in You





In a dream
We converse alone
In a majestic beach
Where the water is
as blue as your eyes
The sand beneath us, more than comfortable
The mean lights our evening with a glow
A million candles
Awaits us with a rose to please
A table for two
Music light and heavenly


Uplifting feeling
with you in mind
no doubt about it
I’m lost in your eyes
So deep and so blue
I capture moments
when I m with you
Time is at a stand still
Your no one in particular
Just someone that I am quite fond of
Painted your picture in my head
It’s been playing in my sleep
Your voice
My choice
I give it all up
To spend time with you


Never have I seen a light so bright
You glisten when you smile
It’s a big world out there
But never too big for us
They say love is blind
but I don’t need eyes to see
What you mean to me
We could be miles apart
Still I have you in my heart



Dream a Dream
Live a Life
Reality so real
Great expectations giving in
7 wonders of the world become 8
A special someone
You touched my soul
And made it whole

Well give me feedback you juss finish reading my fine work comment me back and tell me if you like it or goin to steal and use it on ur gf...llool its all gravy baby

well i m outs tomorrow is goin to be awesomeness cuz i think i might do sumthing spontanenous!! ;)

Current mood: artistic

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