Blurty for Nothing I call love can clear away the clouds. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Website (you deserve SO much more). View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 9 entries.

Wednesday, November 19th, 2003

Subject: here i go scream my lungs out and try to get to you Time: 1:40 am. Mood: artistic. Music: your so last summer_taking back sunday.

- M E - .x. [my name is]: kim .x. [in the morning i am]: tired .x. [all i need is]: to be happy .x. [love is]: a perk .x. [im afraid of]: spiders .x. [i dream about]: boys...naked ; ) - Y E S . O R . N O - .x. [you keep a diary]: yes .x. [you like to cook]: like to no, can i yes .x. [you have a secret you have not shared with anyone]: yes .x. [you fold your underwear]: no .x. [you talk in your sleep]: yes .x. [you set your watch a few minutes ahead]: yea .x. [you believe in love]: yes - T H E . L A S T - .x. [movie you rented]: mallrats .x. [movie you bought]: finding nemo .x. [song you listened to]: your so last summer_taking back sunday .x. [song that was stuck in your head]: so little_the used .x. [song you've downloaded]: behind blue eyes .x. [cd you bought]: as i lay dieing .x. [cd you listened to]: yellowcard .x. [person you've called]: Nick .x. [person that's called you]: Jay .x. [TV show you've watched]: Real World-Paris .x. [person you were thinking of]: ...eric&pat - D O - .x. [you wish you could live somewhere else]: yes .x. [you think about suicide]: yes .x. [others find you attractive]: no .x. [you want more piercings]: yes .x. [you want more tattoos]: dont have any but i want .x. [you drink]: yes .x. [you do drugs]: yes .x. [you smoke]: yes .x. [you like cleaning]: no .x. [you like roller coasters]: haha no .x. [you write in cursive or print]: print .x. [you carry a donor card]: no .x. [you have a crush on somebody]: unfourtuantly - H A V E . Y O U . E V E R - .x. [pictured your crush naked?]: oo yea bebeh .x. [actually seen your crush naked]: yea .x. [fucked]:- .x. [had sex]: -- .x. [made love]: --- .x. [been in love]: yes .x. [cried when someone died]: yes .x. [lied]: yes .x. [fallen for your best friend]: yes FUCKING 2 TIMES ALREADY, YOUD THINK I WOULD LEARN .x. [been rejected]: yes .x. [rejected someone]: yes .x. [used someone]: no, oh wait yea .x. [been cheated on]:yes .x. [done something you regret]: not anymore -N U M B E R- .x. [of times i have had my heart broken]: twice .x. [of hearts i have broken]: hah none .x. [of boys i have kissed]: oh jeez you really wanna go there .x. [of girls i have kissed]: 1. TIN .x. [of continents i have lived in]: none .x. [of drugs taken illegally]: 1? .x. [of close friends]: a couple .x. [of cd's that i own]: a lot .x. [of scars on my body]: a lot .x. [of things in my past that i regret]: nope im bored i want to be loved i want a boyfriend i love this boy but ive got no shot life sucks i want to be happy. boys like you are a dime a dozen.

when i'm not with you

Subject: heyyo Time: 9:35 am. Mood: blah. Music: echo_trapt.

me&res are chilling in the library today...just updating the journals and shit like that. my previous plans to making a huge post to patrick, failed i decided just to let go in my mind and not care, if i dont care why should i make the effort to even bring up old shit. it doesnt matter...but basically im giving up. he won. i cant fight with him anymore ive done it for so long, and its looking like a losing battle because i always tell him im sorry and then ask to be forgaven, so yea. this morning i was listening to this song that once meant something, and it brought back good memories of last year like when everyone stayed after and they was the "crew" basically like me, tin, theresa, pat, amanda, kenny, sean. and everyone was content with each other, ya know. all the times that i would talk to a boy about everything that was going on and he actually cared to listen and help me, he knew the people that liked me more than i did so i guess in a way he was kinda looking out for me. good times. i wish it was the same but as you get older things get more complicated in life. I just dont want it to, i dont want to fight with these people for stupid reasons, and say things i dont mean out of anger, its too emotionally draining and im the one who usually ends up getting hurt in the long run. im sincerly sorry for any "drama" that has come up on my account, im sorry that i made things more difficult that it had to be, im sorry, i know you had told me that it doesnt matter to you how you treat me that you have 12 other friends, but can you honestly tell me that you dont care about anything that has gone on in the past year between us, if the answer is yes then ill leave it be..for the rest of the time that we are in school together, i promose you this. <3 louis _k

5 feel lesser alone| when i'm not with you

Subject: whateva yo Time: 12:28 pm. Mood: chipper. Music: there is_bcr.

hey "thur" hmmm where do i begin.... i decided not to reside to michigan, even though i would like too. my cousin said that i would be running away from my problems if i went and wouldnt resolve anything or make anything better. i talked to her for a couple of hours about everything thats been going on lately and she helped with a lot, and it felt like relief that i dont have this shit built up inside of me. i actually visited my ex-boyfriend dan today, because ive been thinking about him a lot and i miss him, reflecting back on the relationships ive had, i just missed him, and i was just thinking how much i loved him and loved being with him whenever i could or talking to him whenever i could, he was the type of person that made me feel good about myself and that i could really guarantee that he truly loved me. and i wish i could have that. but the someone that i want it with doenst feel the same in return. i wish i could just tell pat how i feel sometimes but im in constant fear of what i might say might ruin my further chances or what i dont know. jen and eric broke up and louis had told me that he wanted to ask me out, louis kissed me on friday, sean kissed me, its pure madness, i get kissed by the boys who i dont want and not by the boy i do. what the fuck, bad timing fellas. but im going to conneticut next weekend i fucking cant wait i love it their especially the place we are staying at its wonderful, i sit by this pond surrounding by rocks and trees and just sit there and think about everything its great. *you can say that you love a person but are you in love with them? i love you all, especially you kim

3 feel lesser alone| when i'm not with you

Subject: yo Time: 4:31 am. Mood: curious.

pat and danielle are going out now. when he first told me i was sooooo upset, but its not worth getting upset over, i guess im just bruised because of the shit that me and him had gone through but i cant take it too heart, sometimes friendships are more valuable then relationships. shes lucky...but anyways its not worth being bitter nor spiteful...ill just sit back and enjoy my time with jay while its still fucking legal, tin said its going to be illegal within four monthes which sucks major ass, i dont even think its going to last that long, all hes good for is good sex...j/k. but yea. my cousins are leaving for michigan on friday. i wanna go with them and thinking about doing such.

1 feel lesser alone| when i'm not with you

Subject: here i am yet again at a standstill Time: 1:36 pm. Mood: content. Music: identity crisis_thrice.

Basic: What time is it now: 1:39 pm Your Name: Kim Your Nickname: Kim Your Online Name: hxpelessR0MANTIC Your sex: Female Your Age: 15 Your Sign: leo Your height: 5'7 Your weight: 1-- Hair color: brown with highlights Eye color: brown Hair length: long Do you wear glasses: yes Are your teeth straight: not on the bottom Do you have freckles: no Do you have a fake tooth: no Do you have a fake eye: no Do you draw fake moles on yourself: no Your religion: luthren Highest level of school: 10th grade Do you work: yes How do you dress: jeans, t-shirt, shoes&socks, underwear&bra Do you smoke: occasionally Do you drink: occasionally Do you do drugs: no Do you have friends: yes Do you have online friends: yes Do you like your friends: yes Do you like your online friends: yes Got any kids? NO Got any pets? a dog Got a car? no Live on your own? i wish Live with your 'rents? yea Favorites: Type of music: emo, emo-core, hardcore, some metal Actor: idk Actress: dont have one Movie: Clerks, Mallrats, finding nemo, jay and silent bob strike back... Soda: diet pepsi, vanilla coke Food: pizza, ice cream, pilsbury choclate chunk cookies Sexual Position: haha any karma suitra position baby ; ) Car: mitsibishi eclipse Hobby: listening to music, chilling with mah homies Sport: used to play basketball Musician: hmmm too many Artist: ? Author: Stephen Chobsoky... Anime: none Song: a lot Color: black, gray TV Show: boymeetsworld Brand of beer: um...molson Brand of liquor: Mike's Brand of smokes: now newports Brand of drug: -- Brand of clothes: dont have one Record Lable: vagrant, drive-thru, eulogy, jump-back... Brand of glue: elmers...since kind-a-garten bebeh Online test: this?? Online chat thing: aim Shape: wtf Texture: ? Game: games frustrate me Place: down port Year: 1998 Holiday: christmas Quote: "hey baby ever got your asshole licked by a fat-man in an overcoat?" Animal: fishie Sound: music Book: a few Drink: soda Sex: Virgin: yes Butthole virgin?: oh man, yes mouth a virgin: ... Kinky turns you on: ah no More than 15 partners: no Have sex with music on: virgin Had group sex: no Had a threesome: no Had cyber sex: no Had cyber anal sex: wow, no Had sex with inanimate objects: hahah no Had sex with an animal: no What turns you on: you bebeh ; ) What turns you off: is Oral sex is good: -- Do you like sex: havent had it Lies: Have you lied: yea Do you lie: notnow Do you lie often: no Do you lie to save your own ass: depends Do you lie to save someone else ass: yes Would you tell a lie that stopped your death but caused the death of your lover: no Would you tell a lie that stopped your death but caused the death of your enemy: maybe... Would you tell a lie that let you keep your job but fired your friend: no Would you tell a lie that let you keep your job but fired "that bitch you work with": yes Have you lied to gain money: no Would you lie to gain money: no Do you enjoy lying to strangers: hey never talk to strangers Have you ever enjoyed lying to a stranger: no Do you lie to bums that ask for spare change, saying you have none: yes Would you dare to lie in the face of evil: sure Would you dare to lie in the face of your mother: um... Would you dare to lie in the face of your God: yes Would you lie to get laid: haha sure Have you lied to get laid: no Would you lie to get a job: depends what kind of job it is Have you lied to get a job: no Would you lie to get a date: no Have you lied to get a date: no Are lies really that harmless: sometimes Do you lie on online surveys to make yourself seem super cool: no Do you lie online: no If lying is sinful.. are you going to hell: not really Love life: Are you single: yes Are you with someone: no Are you married: no Are you divorced: no Are you "Separated": no Are you "on break": um...idk at this point Ever been in love: yes How many times: 1 Looking back do you regret it: no Do you date people you meet online: no Do you date people you meet at bars: no Do you date people: yes Do you "net date": no Are you happy with your current status, why: no, because im confused Do you have a crush on someone close to you: yes Are you still holding on to the past: no Do you agree that Jet Li is a good husband for Shajuana: sure The following apply to you? Y/N Witty: sometimes Charming: no Quiet: when im in a bad mood Loud: yes Pretty: no Radical: no Sucky: yes, idk Smart: when i wanna be Stupid: yes Dumbass: yes Ugly: YES Slow: YES Fast: NO Talented: in which way ; ) Useless: yes Punk: no Young: yes Old: no Past your prime: no You're just reaching your prime: no? Dashing: no Daring: occasionally Dainty: no Powerful: not really Athletic: no Artistic: eh no Superhuman: no Sexy: NO The following are Good/Bad Sex: good? Love: Good Happiness: Good. Rap: bad Pain: bad Pop music: extremely bad Anime: bad TV: good Country: bad Metal: good Nu-Metal: -- Death Metal: -- Industrial: -- Punk Rock: good? Easy Listening: bad. Korn: bad Murderous Rampages: -- Sega: used to be good Nintendo: Good! Play Station: good Game Boy: eh Chinese Food: good Italian Food: good Japanese Food: never tried Mexican Food: Good. Online Quizzes: eh Online Surveys: eh What...? Whats your deep dark secret: -- Whats your biggest fear: dieing alone Whats your greatest sexual experience: never had one Whats your best date ever: i never really had real date Whats your worst date ever: " " What is the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you: idk Would you make a good candidate for Jerry Springer: haha yea Anime isn't that bad is it?: idk what the fuck it is You agree that DVD is much better than VHS right? sure Politics: Do you hate America: Do you hate terrorism: Do you think America shouldn't be involved in the Mid East why: Do you hate western culture: Do you like America: Do you like Americans: Did you vote for Bush: Do you think Bush is doing a good job: Are you Canadian, you fuck: Do you believe your country is doing okay or would you change things: Are you conservative or liberal? Do you think immigration in America is out of hand? Do you think that group of black people suing some southern company for profiting on slavery in the 1800's has a good claim? Or do you think if they actually win, that every Native American should sue England, France and Spain for invading them, and profiting off them? Religion: Are you religious? No Do you believe in a higher being: no Is every religion wrong except your own? no Do you believe that any religion is lower than your own, or is wrong? no Is your God the only god? Are you going to heaven? idk Are you going to hell? idk Money: Do you like it? yes Do you have any? yes Do you make a lot of it? eh good amount Do you get your money through illegal ways? no Do you pay taxes? no Do you think you shouldn't have to? yes Finally: Who did you get this survey from? a person What time is it? 2:23 what time did you go to sleep last night?: 1 am what was the last noise you heard before you fell asleep?: the tvt the last thing you said?: goodnight what did you dream about?: cant remember do you drool or snore when you sleep?: grind my teeth when did you wake up?: 10..something how did you wake up?: phone rang what's the first thing that crossed your mind when you woke up?: i want to go back to sleep when was the last time you took a shower?: yesterday when was the last time you said i love you to the opposite sex and meant it, family doesn't count: thursday who was it?: pat where was the last place you went outside of your house?: down port who was the last friend you saw?: jay who was the last friend you talked to?: nick who's the one person you would die without?: tin what's your favorite song?: as of right now um...haha baby boy nah j/k idk favorite lyric?: too many favorite group?: thrice, atreyu, the used, fall out boy, from autumn to ashes, coheed and cambria...etc favorite album?: rivulets "debridement" afi "sing the sorrow" how many times have you been in love?: 1 are you in love anyone right now?: yes do they love you back?: no if you could kill one person, who would it be?: hmmm idk how many pillows are on your bed?: 4 what color is the bottle of shampoo you use, and what kind is it?: white, dove what color is the soap you use and kind?: blue, adidas what color is your razor?: pink what kind of deoderant do you use?: axe and adidas what kind of cologne/perfume do you wear?: cool water, ralph lauren and axe do you use lotion?: yes how long are your nails right now?: pssh really short how old is the computer you're on?: a year who was the last person to annoy you?: eric who was the last person you seriously kissed?: pat the last person you danced with?: idk do you believe in God?: no how long are the showers you take?: 10-15min how many showers do you take a week?: everyday so 7 do you love your parents?: sometimes do you love your siblings?: when they dont beat the shit out of me what's the worst thing that ever happened to you?: my mom dieing when's the last time you cried?: couple of monthes ago why?: pat the last time you wished you were dead?: now the last time you felt important?: never the last time you felt sad because someone close to you was hurting?: couple days ago the last time you screamed?: yesterday have you ever physically hurt yourself?: yes how smart are you?: pretty smart what person are you extremely attracted to, and not just because of looks?: .....cough pat cough do you like being outside?: sometimes what one person do you know you could always turn to?: tin&eric who do you look up to?: tin who's the last person that made you cry?: ... is emotional pain or physical pain worse?: emotional where do you want to live?: france how many scars are on your body?: a lot how many people do you love?: a lot im a whore who's your best friend?: tin&eric who do you turn to for advice?: tin if you could bring back one person from the dead, who would it be?: mah mom on a scale of 1-10, how happy are you?: 2 on a scale of 1-10, how depressed are you?: 0 what color are the sheets on your bed?: green how many cds do you own?: over 80 what are 3cds you wish to own?: dropkick, everytime i die, beyonce---hahaha j/k what is your greatest regret?: dont have any when was the last time you were sick?: now are you hurting anywhere right now?: yea who do you wish was near you that isn't?: at this moment? tin what do you wish you were doing right now?: sleeping when was the last time you had a nightmare?: saturday are you talking to anyone right now?: eric, katie, jay what are you talking about?: having anal sex who's the last person you were on the phone with?: nick are you pale?: not really, im supposedly fuckingYELLOW when was the last time you brushed your hair?: yesterday, its up now how much do you weigh? 1-- have you ever wanted plastic surgery?: yea how many screen names do you have?: 2 which one do you use the most? hxpelessR0MANTIC wow that was really motherfucking long. well this is one of my numerous journals, i keep making new ones for no reason, someone is going to eventually find this and comment. because they always do. but i dont really give a shit right now. i know im going to miss him, hes just been i guess a part of my life for so long that im going to miss him, and my so called friends are pushing me to go out with new people someone i dont know, a random person that i havent had interactions with and then other friends are fighting over who gets me now. this time i feel differently like everything will work out in the end, maybe he did just need to see what it was like to be with someone else or a break, i can be over-bearing at times, and i dont know it...but at this time im still not over him, and i still love him very much no matter what anyone decides to tell me about the things that hes done and stuff, i love him. k_m

6 feel lesser alone| when i'm not with you

Blurty for Nothing I call love can clear away the clouds. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Website (you deserve SO much more). View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 9 entries.