|
[07 May 2003|03:47am] |
|
So I don't know what to do anymore. It seems that no one leaves me little comments to brighten my day anymore. I know it sounds stupid but it does help. Being on tour is really tough on friends and family. Not being able to see people, barly ever talknig to them. I feel like such an ass for it but its not my fault. I think from now on I'm just gonna say fuck signing stuff for the fans after shows and call some people that I miss because I just can't go on like this anymore. So we have tomorrow or today actually off which I am so glad of. That is what I will be doing all day tomorrow... calling the people I miss because I'm actually kind of home sick.
|
|
|
[02 May 2003|02:13am] |
|
So for the past couple days I have been really busy but its cool.. I'm stright now. Everything has worked out for the best. I still feel like a super jerk for breaking my plans I had with Tony but I told him I would make it up to him next break we have... so thats something to look forward to. Well yah I'm kinda blank now so I'm jsut gonna sit here and see how many people will talk to me on Im which now is zero.........
|
|
|
[24 Apr 2003|11:40pm] |
|
ding ding sign its OOC time! ( OOC )
|
|
|
[24 Apr 2003|11:34pm] |
|
I feel so bad. I let Tyson down, I let Brit down, and I let Tony down. I told them all that I was going to be at Tyson party but I completly forgot that I had told my buddy Chris that I would hang out with his band for two days. the Band Count The Stars.. they arn't that big but they are good. I'm so sorry to all of you for my mistake. I will make it up no matter what. I am really the most sorry to Tony for I lied to him. I told him I would go then didn't... guess I look like a big asshole right about now but whats new with me?
peace,
s-dogg
|
|
|
[22 Apr 2003|08:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pissed at myself |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bad Days- Something Corporate |
] |
So.... proven once again that I own the asshole of the year award. Grr I don't know what is wrong with me these days. I need some type of help... sort out my fucked up mind. So I think I will be looking into that. Why I didn't after the whole Chuck thing is beyond me. I mean thats when I needed it the most, instead I wait untill something else fucks up. And yes Tony is right... I need to stop assuming shit and ask. Cause if I don't then how am I gonna know right? Don't always trust shit you read, always go stright to the source. And I think this needs to be timesed a million... Tony I'm so sorry! But I know no matter how many times I say it it wont always fix things.
|
|
|
[22 Apr 2003|05:11am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pissed and confused! |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
stacie orrico- stuck |
] |
Ok the internet is a fucked up place! One minute I think one thing and the next I'm reading something else that I'm not even to sure if I know is true. Grr why do I bother no one has been reading these stupid things anyway..... DAMN THE INTERNET I HOPE IT CHOKES AND DIES!!!! YES JUST LIKE IN THE BRAND NEW SONG!!! And I don't know if its just me listening to this song to much or what but I have a bad feeling for some reason. And no its just not that I'm sick..
( I just can't take it..... )
|
|
|
[22 Apr 2003|02:45am] |
|
So no we ended up still playing tonights show because some people don't care that much about others... ahem. I didn't sing but I made a really good attempt at looking like I was. I still feel like shit! I just want some one to come and go poof be gone stupid cold. Yes I'm that stupid! Something really weird happend tonight, this girl I assume she was a fan, came up to me and called me an asshole for no reason. Why I do not know but if I ever do I would make it up to her. Cause I like to be that nice all around type of guy. And I hate knowing the fact that someone hates me. So last night I was so drugged up but I actually remember this. I told Tony the song Stuck by Stacie Orrico reminded me of him. It wasn't until after I told him that I actually understood the words! So I felt like an ass but I think thats a personial issue. I'm also praying that this sicknees goes away before Wednesday so I don't get Tony sick. Sure he said he thought he was sick but I think I'm the big cry baby over it so yeah I wanna get better. But thats all I got to say for now
peace,
s-dogg
|
|
| AHHH! |
[21 Apr 2003|03:33am] |
|
Ok I would deffinately have to say that this Taking Back Sunday quote fits me now.....
'So sick so sick of being tired and also tired of being sick!'
That's right I'm sick as a mother fucker! Damn rain I hate it! Ok I don't hate it, I actually love it. I love to just sit under a breezeway and watch the rain fall. Thats what I was doing last night all by myself because I was thinking a lot. So I dunno what came over me but for some reason I just had this urge to just go sit in the rain. So I did just that. I walked out into the middle of the empty parking lot with the dull street lights and sat there looking up into the dark gloomy clouds. I almost started to cry for some reason, not a reason that I know of but I did. So it was a bit cool outside due to the rain so I pulled on my hoodie that Pierre has sprayed with hie sick smelling body spray. I was so pissed about that but back to the story. It smelled so bad I almost threw up over it. But why did I put it on you ask? Because it was the only one I had. And since the washing clothes thing isn't big I had to deal with it. So as I was sitting in the parking lot I could feel and smell the spray starting to fade off. I was soaking wet but thats wasn't the issue. It stoped raining like an hour later so I got up and went back to the bus. Everyone was stairing at me like I was a weird-o but I really didn't care. I just told them all to fuck off. So after everyone did such a great job of pissing me off I went walking around in my soaking wet clothes. I think it was the weight of the soaked hoodie that did me in. So with that and my dumb way of needed to think thats how I got sick. I hate it so much! I couldn't sleep at all last night but I finall did this after noon. I'm still tired but can't sleep so whats a guy to do eh? I still haven't see Tony at all since the break I wonder where he has been? I guess the only way I'm gonna find that out is to ask him. I don't even know if he's still gonna stay with us or not. I took some kind of cold meds. but they have yet to kick in and I'm dreding it! But sick sucks! I just wanna get better. I think if this keeps up the way it is we might have to cancel our show for tomorrow night or today rather. Well thats all I really got to say now so.. yeah you get it.
peace,
s-dogg
|
|
|
[19 Apr 2003|12:04am] |
|
So I would have to say that last night was the best night of my life thanks to Tony. He is so damn wonderful, indescribable, making me speechless at most times. *sigh* Its finally official... we are dating and it makes me so happy to know that. He doesn't mind that I sleep with the light on because I'm scared of the dark. He thinks its funny the way I have to 'jump' up into my bunk. As we were going to sleep last night I felt so safe, maybe thats because he has been the first person to hold me while I was sleeping but I dont know. I'm so random about all of this but I don't really care. He knows what I mean and thats all that matters. I'm glad to know that I fill a part of him that has been empty. I know what he means, I've been that way for almost all of my life. But not anymore and its such a great feeling.
( Tony's cute )
|
|
|
[18 Apr 2003|05:54am] |
so sick so sick of being tired also so tired of being sick
sorry had it stuck in muh head dar umm yeah back to your lives now....
|
|
|
[18 Apr 2003|04:43am] |
|
Is it just me or does there need to be a Tony is sexy,hot,cute fan club? Come on! Hes so so cute! Yes I mean it I mean it I do I do!!!! Hehe
|
|
|
[18 Apr 2003|01:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Rejects.... with that name I need to be in that band! |
] |
So I was just looking around on the net today and I found these really cute old pics of Benji and Billy. So maybe you wanna see them maybe not. Just click the link at the bottom if you want. I still dunno what Tony is up to cause hes scared over The Ring. It scared me too... I think I didn't sleep for what... 3 nights? I dunno as Pierre he would know. So the show went great as usual. Fans are great too. For some reason I was walking around today by myself and hear The Rejects on the loud speaker. I was thinking 'oh ok cool...' well it got stuck in my head and now I'm singing it. And finding myself listening to that song over and over again. I forget what its called since I don't read the names I just listen to it. But Tyson... all I got to say is stop putting out those catchy toons! Its bugging me ahh! Ok sorry but I'm random and if you can't deal then get the fuck up outta here! And you know you all want my thuggin hat! Its cause I'm the true playa pimp! HAHA umm not.... But maybe this is my que to go.......
peace out,
s-dogg
( Picture Link )
|
|
|
[17 Apr 2003|06:01pm] |
|
So we just finshed sound check it went good. Nothing new.. well Tony but other than that nothing new.... I'm such a lame dorky thug!
~s-dogg
|
|
|
[17 Apr 2003|05:10am] |
|
Tony is great and I don't really care what anyone thinks but him :)
|
|
|
[17 Apr 2003|02:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy... really happy |
] |
Ok ever since I read an update in Jordan's journal about someone wanting to rock his body I have had that dumbass song in my head. Yes I hate it yet here I am sitting or laying here really singing it. Me I'm the offical dork so don't say no that I'm not. So we played another show tonight and it went well. I was still lucked out with the video games again tonight because they all choose to run to the bus instead of being a good boy like me and walking. But thats me mister Bes the safe man. So umm lets think shale we? haha. Well I can'tt hink cause well I just can't. If I was to tell you I would have to kill you cause its a bad bad though.......humm wouldn't you like to know Tony?
peace out and fo evea mackin,
s-dogg
|
|
|
[16 Apr 2003|06:04am] |
|
The song Eleven by Taking Back Sunday is such a great song ( agree? )
And I would love to spell it out but I just can't.... not yet...
|
|
|
[16 Apr 2003|03:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
full |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
TBS-Great Romances Of the 20th Centry |
] |
So tonight was the first offical night of the Avril tour. Shes a cool chick and all.... she can just be annoying! Right now we are inbetween states going to Pittsburgh. Jeff and I got home safely although he thought I was getting on his nerves too much. Maybe when I'm bored and have nothing else to do thats why I sing 99 bottles... lol. Umm lets see, I'm still under the weight of a school boy crush [Conor=lyrical genious] but no... sadly I'm not carrying his books and doing lots of drugs. Lol I'm so ahh right now. Its like I'm happy but I'm still the lonely little mother fuck who has no one. See Jeff can take it cause he hooks up no matter where he is but me, I just can't hook up with some random person and not have feelings for them. I'm not saying that if I did hook up with someone it would be because I had feelings...... wait I'm confused by what I'm saying...... What I mean to say is that I don't want to hook up with someone unless I know them. And Seb doesn't hook up just to get some. He does it because he loves that person. Ok I really need to stop all that third person shit... it even freaks me out! But yeah he's still out there.... clueless like me. But see thats the wonderful thing about it. He's clueless yet I think about him all the time. He reminds me of the song I'd Do Anything, and sometimes I even like to think that's why we wrote the song. God look at me acting like I'm still in High School! I need help help help! But I guess I will talk to you people on AIM whenever I am on.
with love from....
the lovely Seb
|
|
|
[06 Apr 2003|04:41am] |
|
So I have been shying away from the whole update thing lately. Jeff and I were late on our 10am wake up call to drive home. But it was ok. Now I'm home where I can be myself no matter what and it feels great. I did realize that I am a bit happy since a long time. I realized something amazing and I'm so school boy right now. Its weird. I feel like I'm back in grade school when girls used to have crushes on the guys and they didn't the next day. But its hardly like that at all. Its all just soo *sigh* I can't really explain it. Thats right I me Seb has a crush. Its made me a lot more happy. I've learn to except the fact that Chuck and Pat are one and I wish them the best of luck. Well I guess I will just get back to chatting with Chuck and surfing the web.
mostly,
Seb
|
|
| ithought this was fitting |
[01 Apr 2003|11:50pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Hot Rod Circuit-The Pharmacist |
] |
"try to make it for i know you can"
"no no i am sorry i am delirious"
something is going to make you disappear
that much is true
a bottle of pills,
a cigarette lighter,
a telephone cord,
a knife smoothing against you skin,
whether it be any of those
i will never know, but
i do know this
i am the mask of an angel
i am your nightmare
i am your your rag doll
i am the bruise upon your lips
i am your new little toy
you can play with me
over, and over, and over again
until my wings are broken,
until i am not worthy of playing
im your little beatiful doll
you say i am beautiful
and such beauty should not be here
as you hold the gun to my chest
i look into your eyes
far into your gorgeous blue eyes
gasping for air i spit out
"your right."
"im as beautiful as this gunshot wound".
|
|
|
[01 Apr 2003|11:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Used- Buried Myself Alive |
] |
Ok I dunno what is up with today but it seems like its Valentine's Day. Everyone being all lovey dovey... eww! I mean thank god it only comes once a year but why again today? If anything it should be a funny day. So far for me though its been nothing to the kind. Its not that I'm not happy for everyone who has someone, it just upsets me cause I don't have that. Yesterday I slept all day.. thats right. I woke up about 12 or so and talked to chuck for a few then went back to bed. Nothing thats gonna make you wanna hang out with me. Jeff is going to go home for a couple days... said he wanted someone to go with him so I offered. But then again I wouldn't be much company since its been a long time since I have seen a simle on my face. For some reason I really feel like going to a concert that I can watch instead of play. Something I can get into and forget all of the problems I'm having. Well I guess I'm out for now...
Mostly,
Seb
|
|