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Nicholas Timberlake

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UPDATE TIME... [11 Sep 2003|07:40pm]
but not a big one. Wanna know why? Because I'm in ITALY with my fucking HUSBAND... and if you'd kindly put two and two together, I have better things to do than blab here about pointless shit you probably don't care about anyway.

I'll update better soon, I PROMISE. After the trip.


(even though that's spanish ; P )
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[22 Aug 2003|04:09am]
[ mood | Relaxed ]
[ music | Incorporeal - Tiger Army ]

::he sighed, looking to his more than neglected journal as he signed in on his username. He chewed on his lip ring and then rubbed his face, thinking to himself of things that had happened since he'd last written. He stood and walked to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water before stopping to pull up his overly baggy jeans and then fix his shirt so it fell perfectly over them::

I suppose it's about time I update this thing, eh? I haven't been around much lately. I've just been... being alone. I sort of like it that way, and I needed me time. It's not too often I have a chance to just hang out and play video games or burp without worrying I'll gross people out. It was calm. It was relaxing. It was a nice change.

I went back out a few days ago to film some more and I guess my role will be a bit bigger than expected. I'm a heroin addict, sadly... but I have to take what I can when I can get it. It was a tough role to play but I'd like to think I did it well. I mean, I'm no ASHTON KUTCHER or anything, but yeah, I think it was ok considering.

Speaking of the ugly fuck, Justin some how, with his magical Timberlake powers (which yes, I endowed by marrying him) got Alia back for him. He deserves her too, because not only is he one of the most amazing people I've ever met... but he's one of the best fathers as well. If you just watch him with her... it's mind boggling. This tall gangly thing playing hopscotch... or at least trying to.

Or letting her put make up on him... he was just perfect for her and vise versa. It was one of those meant to be's, ya know? Justin's seeing a doctor now.. about, well, everything that's happened over the past two months. I'm so Goddamn proud of that kid. He's taking steps to getting better and it proves not only to me and himself, but everyone else as well, that he's more than just some rich pop star.

He's a person. And an amazing one at that. One I'm very much in love with and always will be. One who goes through problems that people in your family or you yourself have most likely gone through... so yeah, don't judge people you don't know. It's lame. I'm not in the mood to sap, so I'll leave it at that and go cuddle with him.

Oh yeah, by the way, new layout. I don't like it, but oh well.


53 comments|post comment

[13 Aug 2003|01:20am]
Heh. Except Not. )
13 comments|post comment

[10 Aug 2003|04:26pm]
[ mood | Eh ]
[ music | As Told By Ginger ;x ]

Last night was nice. It was sweet and I smiled. Starting over was the best idea he's ever had. We're still married... but we're taking things slow. Some things we did before won't happen now... and though we both still have problems with our stupid mouths... we're doing a lot better on the fighting front. I don't think we bickered for a good week until last night. And last night wasn't really... even a fight. It was just him being jealous. I think he thinks that if you're in a relationship with someone they have to be your favorite... if they're in music... their music has to be your favorite, If they're an actor, your favorite movie has to include them, If they're an artist you favorite painting has to be by them...

But, though I may like Justin's music... it isn't my favorite. It's not my scene. I'm into "punk", so to speak, and more hardcore stuff. I always have been. Anyway... I'm sure everyone's heard already about the big mishap at the show the other night. I just thank God it happened before the show so Priss or J didn't get hurt. It was quite a sight... but the show was canceled and everything was ok in the end. We're heading back to Boston next week which is like, beyond perfect for me since I love it there more than anywhere else. He's playing a club show at the Avalon and I'm gonna go chillax with a couple friends that live there. Moving on, Our two month anniversary was on the 8th which was also... JC's birthday.

Happy Birthday, Man. I totally didn't get to say it to your face but, yeah, it's late.

For our anniversary... we pretty much laid in bed naked and stared at each other. We didn't have sex... just touched and kissed and what not. I think that's amazing for the two of us since usually we're horny as fuck... and can't go a day without screwing. I love looking at him. It's like, I can sit there and think to myself "Haha... He's mine. Mine and only mine. He's MY husband, not yours. He's MY soulmate, not yours. You'll NEVER get to be with him..." and eventually, I start fights with myself over it.

Justin, I love you. Let's not do the "I love you more than..." game anymore.

The end.

8 comments|post comment

[28 Jul 2003|11:19am]
Oh Look, Emo icons!
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[27 Jul 2003|05:22pm]
[ mood | Fuck You ]
[ music | Fuck You Too. ]

I could say I don't need you. I could say I don't want you. I could say I never loved you. I could say you don't matter. I could say I'll move on. I could say "I'm Okay". I could say I'll be fine. I could say I won't cry.

But I do and I do and I did and always will. And it does and I won't and I'm not and I won't be. I will and I'll drown in my tears and in my sorrow... all because you still love someone else.

I could say I didn't see it coming. I could say I didn't know. I could say it doesn't bother me, that's a lie and it'll show. I could say we'll be happy now. I could say I'm not afraid.

But I did and I did and it does. And we won't and I am, more afraid than I've ever been in my entire life.

My headache's so intense I can't even fucking think and this post is pointless. No one ever reads what I say anyway. No one ever did, but you.

You can say I don't trust you. You can say I accuse you. You can say that you love me. You can say that this is for the best.

But I do and I don't and you can't. If you did then you'd stick it out and try to think of a solution instead of walking away. You're always walking away. It's not for the best. The best was what we had.


I hope I choke to death on one of my Triscuits.

5 comments|post comment

[22 Jul 2003|02:39am]
[ mood | In Love ]
[ music | Iris ]

for some reason, today I've wanted nothing more than to breathe Justin's air SCREAM from the TOP of the TALLEST building/mountain/tree that...


Woo! The end.
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[21 Jul 2003|02:55pm]
[ mood | Horny ]
[ music | Rest In Pieces ]

When I get home, babe, gonna light your fire
All day I've been thinkin' about you, babe
You're my one desire

Gonna wrap my arms around you
Hold you close to me
Oh, babe I wanna taste your lips
I wanna fill your fantasy, yeah

Don't know what I'd do without you, babe
Don't know where I'd be
You're not just another lover
No, you're everything to me

Ev'rytime I'm with you, baby
I can't believe it's true
When you're layin' in my arms
And you do the things you do

You can see it in my eyes
I can feel it in your touch
You don't have to say a thing
Just let me show how much
I love you, I need you, yeah

I wanna kiss you all over
And over again
I wanna kiss you all over
Till the night closes in
Till the night closes in

Stay with me, lay with me, holding me, loving me, baby
Here with me, near with me, feeling you close to me, baby

So show me, show me ev'rything you do
'cause baby no one does it quite like you

I love you, I need you, oh, babe

I wanna kiss you all over
And over again
I wanna kiss you all over
Till the night closes in
Till the night closes in

Till the night closes in
Till the night closes in

I was in a cutesy, BEEBEE!, adorable mood... and wanted to kiss you all over. Now wake up! <33333


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This Time Imperfect... [18 Jul 2003|06:12am]
[ mood | Who Cares? ]
[ music | This Time Imperfect ]

I cannot leave here, I cannot stay
Forever every haunted, more than afraid
Asphyxiate on words I can say
I’m drawn to and blackened skies are turned blue

There are no flowers, no not this time,
There’ll be not angels gracing the line,
Just these dark words I find
I’d try to smile, but I’m too weak,
I’d share with you, could I only speak,
Just how much this hurts me

I cannot stay here, I cannot leave,
Just like all I love, I make-believe,
Imagine hard, I disappear seems,
No one will love me in my dreams

There are no flowers, no not this time,
There’ll be not angels gracing the line,
Just these dark words I find
I’d try to smile, but I’m too weak,
I’d share with you, could I only speak,
Just how much this hurts me

I’d tell you how it haunts me
I’d tell you how it haunts me
(It’s about time, now I’m sick of my dreams (?))
I’d tell you how it haunts me
(It’s about time, now I’m sick of my dreams (?))
You don’t care that it haunts me

There are no flowers, no not this time,
There’ll be not angels gracing the line,
Just these dark words I find
I’d try to smile, but I’m too weak,
I’d share with you, could I only speak,
Just how much this hurts me

Just how much this hurts me

Just how much this hurts me

Just how much you…

I've "Broken" you for the last time.

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So... [09 Jul 2003|03:20am]
[ mood | Estatic ]
[ music | Now & Forever ]

If you don't read teenbeat... or haven't kept up with the Timbertain soap opera, also known as "The Geis of our Lives"... you didn't know that today, was Justin and my one month anniversary.

One month ago today, we gave ourselves to each other. Handed over the most sacred gift one could give... our lives, our love, body and soul. When I first came here... on May 25th if I remember correctly... The furthest thing from his mind, was me.

Sure, we were friends...and I was his shoulder to cry on after he and Ashton broke up... but nothing more.

Though I was madly in love with him (and still am) I never, in a million years thought we'd ACTUALLY end up together...but hey. Look at us now. It's a month later, and we're stronger than ever imagined.

Sure, we've had hard times... maybe more bad than good, but this past month, was by far, the best I've ever lived. Tonight, on stage, in front of tens of thousands of fans... He sang a song to me.

One he wrote, for me.... one he dedicated, to me. And afterward, he came out. The world now knows... Justin Timberlake is gay. He kissed my hand.. my wedding band... and smiled at me. That amazing smile of his. We were of couse crying...

Not only because of how good it felt that we were out... but because we knew how hard it'd be for him now... with close minded assholes... the press... fans... all in our lives.

When I went back stage to kiss him, a real kiss... I noticed something that normally wouldn't be a big deal to people. He was wearing eyeliner... for me. I told him how boys in make up turn me on... ::smirks slightly, rubbing his stubbly chin:: and he remembered...

I've never been so happy... I've never been so in love...

I love you.

2 comments|post comment

[04 Jul 2003|10:13am]
[ mood | Satisfied ]
[ music | Teen Spirit ]

I had amazing sex with MY goth boy last night. He may not wear makeup on an everyday basis, but he sure as fuck should.

::nods in Justin's direction and smiles::

Morning Mr. Timberlake.

4 comments|post comment

To My Love, My Life, My Drug... [29 Jun 2003|06:19pm]
[ mood | Loved ]
[ music | The MMC ( Shut up. ) ]

Whenever I'm weary from the battles that rage in my head
You make sense of madness when my sanity hangs by a thread
I lose my way but still you seem to understand
Now and forever I will be your man.

Sometimes I just hold you
Too caught up in me to see
I'm holding a fortune that heaven has given to me
I'll try to show you each and every way I can
Now and forever I will be your man

Now I can rest my worries and always be sure
That I won't be alone anymore
If I'd only known you were there all the time
All this time

Until the day the ocean doesn't touch the sand
Now and forever I will be your man
Now and forever I will be your man

I love you.

2 comments|post comment

[27 Jun 2003|02:22am]
[ mood | Squee! ]
[ music | Wakka wakka wakka ]

So I get this phone call... from this amazing man... and all I hear is...

" I was wakka wakka wakkalkin' when I missed my kermie-beebee, how ya doin' little Nicky, it's your Fozzy "

Justin and I = Kendal and Eric from Road Rules 11.

We like, fight and then make up and get some sick enjoyment out of it. We're so weird.

<3 Fozzy, Kermie luffs you.

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[26 Jun 2003|10:06pm]
[ mood | Used Up ]
[ music | My half there heartbeat ]

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me you questions
Oh let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming in tales
Heads are a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing tails
And coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I'm going back to the start

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[26 Jun 2003|08:58pm]
[ mood | None ]
[ music | The Air Conditioner. ]

"You said if I ever left you'd kill yourself... well for once in your life, keep your promise. I'm going home."

I can't believe I said that. I'm going to die now.

2 comments|post comment

[25 Jun 2003|11:20pm]
[ mood | Cheery ]
[ music | The Leaving Song Part II ]

Stole it From Justin )

6 comments|post comment

[24 Jun 2003|07:44pm]
[ mood | Mellow ]
[ music | The Scientist ]

I guess now we're going to Hawaii. Me and my husband, my husband and I... to watch my best friend... well, the man who once was my best friend, get remarried.

I'm the best man.

It'll be like the honeymoon J and I never had... a break from the tour, a break from everyone else. Just he and I after the wedding. We can go scuba diving.. and find shells like gei boys, and cuddle by a fire we make... like when we were little.

It'll be great.

4 comments|post comment

[24 Jun 2003|12:20pm]
[ mood | Awake ]
[ music | Can't Let You Go ]

I suppose Chris and I aren't friends anymore.

I didn't think it'd hurt this much, but it does.

Now I can relate to Justin, being hurt that he lost Chris' friendship.

What an amazing guy.

My Beebee as a Beebee )

9 comments|post comment

[23 Jun 2003|02:44pm]
[ mood | ... ]
[ music | Perfect ]

" 'Cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect...

But I'll try my hardest to be perfect for you...

Give me another chance.


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[23 Jun 2003|05:01am]
[ mood | Fuck Off ]
[ music | Without You ]

You say you love me. I know you do.

I say I love you. You know I do.

Why then, do we fight? Always. Fighting.

But it'll change. You know just as well as I do... it'll change now that he and I aren't friends.

Maybe for the good... Maybe for the bad. Who cares? I'm still gonna be here.

Because I'll always be here. No matter if you want me here or not, I'll be here anyway.


And don't pretend like I'm the one who's done all the hurting... because you've done your fair share as well.

But I put up with it because I love you.

And you love me.

Why the FUCK can't we see that and take it for what it is? FUCK EVERYONE ELSE.

All we need is us.

Justin. Nick.

That's it.

We're all that matters.

Most of this was brought on by you pushing me away. Telling me how you STILL missed him.

How it STILL hurt you. It happened over 3 months ago Justin.

IF you weren't ready to move on, why did you let me inside of you? Why did you let yourself inside of me?

Why'd you ask me to marry you? Were you using me?

Was I a pawn in your sick scheme to get him back?

If so, shame on you. Not me.

Lets not make me out to be the bad guy when you're to blame as well.

I love you. You love me.

That's all we need from here on out. That's all we need ever.

Justin and Nick.

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