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XpRe DiCt AbLeX

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[16 Oct 2003|07:14am]
[ mood | blah ]

Hmm, well I actually got a fairly decent night's sleep last night. I still woke up a few times but I went straight back to sleep. And yes, Bruce was in my dream again, he played a fairly huge part in them actually. Blah, I need to get over this, from now, I'm not going to show him he's hurting me.
Things I need to do

- I will not harm myself in any way.
- I will not cry, no not me, not I.
- From the words of Jackson "Tease the fucker."
- I will talk to him more.
- I will try and become friends with him.
- I will show him what he's missing.
- I will find out if he likes Jessica.
- I will try and get him to want me again.
- I will go back out with him... I will.

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[16 Oct 2003|03:36pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | Delta Goodrem ~ Throw it away ]

Hmm, Bruce told Karl he still fancies me, just not enough to go out with me and he does fancy Jessica. He only likes her because she smokes and she's there a lot of the time. Ya know what? I don't care... that's right, I don't. Tasha and Leane have been tagging along him now, they know he's single, I guess. And now he's trying his luck with Jessica, she won't sink that low... yet... Bruce has his charms. But you know, they won't last if they do go out. I still like him, yeah, but I don't need him... I don't want him... I guess I just always wanted someone... and he was there. Tomorrow if I see him and get to talk to him, I'm going to stop him and talk to him. I'm going to tell him that I've been thinking a lot, and me and him obviously weren't meant to be. And I'm going to ask for one last proper hug before we just be friends and I try and get over him. It's so hard though, one day I'll think I'm okay, that I've gotten over him, but the next day I just randomly start to cry. I'll probably cry when speaking to him, but I have to do it, it's the maturest way I've thought of going about it and I am going to. I'm going to get over him, I know I am... soon... I will...

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[16 Oct 2003|04:22pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | Delta Goodrem ~ Predictable ]

I've learnt something from all this... never take what you have for granted. Always cherish each moment you have with someone and tell them how you feel. At least they'll know that's how you feel. You never know how long you have left before you can no longer call that person *yours* so don't waste the time you have with the people you care about... the people you love...

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I want you all to know how I'm really feeling now. [16 Oct 2003|04:52pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | x o Delta Goodrem-Longer o x ]

x o Stripped intro o x

x o I've waited a long time for this
It feels right now
Allow me to introduce myself
I want you to come a little closer
I'd like you to get to know me a little bit better
Meet the real me

Sorry you can't define me
Sorry I break the mold
Sorry that I speak my mind
Sorry don't do what I'm told
Sorry if I don't fake it
Sorry I come too real
I will never hide what I really feel

So here it is
No hype, no gloss, no pretense
Just me
Stripped o x

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[16 Oct 2003|05:10pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | x o Delta Goodrem-Not me, Not I o x ]

I'm so sick of this, I'm going to go crazy. I need Bruce, I need him to make me happy, I want Bruce, I want his arms around me. I want him back, I want him, I want him...

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