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2005.02.09 21.29 50 thousand ways to make another one of you mistakes tearing down what we build up tell me when it's gonna...stop the time that we let pass for reasons we can't understand maybe it's al little late but I think it is worth the...wait, stop, listen please this is not a little breeze it's a storm that we are in this is making my head...spin around, around again make ourselves a brand new plan saving this companionship try to get a grip close your eyes turn your head walk away don't look back! close your eyes turn your head stop this game don't look back! pouring out the wine we kept for occasions such as this swallowing it all for you I think I had a glass too...many thoughts have slipped my mind can I tell you one more time? I am losing faith in you without a doubt without a...clueless, mindless, thoughtless moves I don't know which path to choose it's hard but we have to admit that we have to quit it's gone too far this is too hard we're driving eachother in the corner we are drowning ourselves so just Mood:  crappyMusic: |
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2004.11.21 21.55 I think you lost urself too thoughout all of this confusion I think we'll somehow make it thru each day just drags on by bringin with you a new lie just when I think I could die you come and bring me back to life and you say you can't change the way you feel but you can't tell me this ain't real, cuz this is real in the end it's all I've got, so I'm gonna hold on and now you've got me watching your eyes got me waiting just to see if it goes the way it never will your eyes are watching me and I practised all the things I'd say to tell you how I feel but when I finally get my chance it all seems so surreal and now you've got me thinking bout the first time that I met you and now I can't forget you, no I won't forget you Music: Good Charlotte - Change (acoustic) |
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2004.11.21 21.10 Tonight won't make a difference |
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2004.11.21 17.36 I wonder if God belives in us Music: Good Charlotte - The World is Black |
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2004.11.21 17.21 Music: Head Automatica - At The Speed Of A Yellow Bullet |
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2004.11.21 15.03 Oh yeah btw...I GOT FUCKIN THE USED TICKETS FOR THE JANUARI SHOW <3 It's The Used + Head Automatica for €12,- (: ohhh damn...i fuckin look fuckin much forward to it!!! My fuckin dream came true whooohooo I never would've thought they'd ever come to Holland, cuz they aren't that popular in here, but fuck yeah, they came hehe..I was suppose ta go to a Kanye West show, and everything was arranged..except for the tickets then...:( sooo they were sold out but now i'm gonna go to The Sheer with my cousin and it's gonna be fun Ik Heb Zin In Sinterklaas!! Eve6 = cool this sux too --> Talking Back Sunday, MxPx, Green Day and The Used are coming here in one fuckin month and I wanna go to all 4, but I can't...it's really fucked...those are like 4 of my favourite bands and I only get to see The Used, which is ok by me, but still the thinking of seein the others too sux PEACE  I don't know where to go I don't know what to be I don't know how to change from beeing me I don't know what to say Maybe another day I start getting lost and find my way Mood:  excitedMusic: |
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2004.11.21 14.35 My chest is fucking hurting and my stomach's fuckin burning I laugh when you are crying and say inside you're dying Becuz you gave away too early, your fuckin pain is so deserving Don't wanna take it, becuz I fuckin hate it Why do we talk when all we do is argue Nothing to be said accept you make me wish I was dead This time I'm breaking up forgood I never felt this way before, open chest heart on the floor I never wished that I was dead, until I met you I fuckin hate the way I'm feeling, becuz my fuckin life's not changing You brought me down when you stopped caring, your fuckin misery's my healing Don't wanna take it, becuz I fuckin hate it Why do we talk when all we do is argue Nothing to be said, accept you make me wish I was dead This time I'm breaking up forgood I never felt this way before, open chest heart on the floor I never wished that I was dead I never felt this way before, open chest heart on the floor I never wished that I was dead until I met you Music: |
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2004.11.21 14.23 Imma rip this shit til my bones collapse ........................................ Forever trust in who we are, no nothing else matters ........................................ Hello again |
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2004.11.14 01.26 OK, now there's one thing I don't get...New Found Glory They like make almost only love songs and they sound sooo poppy, but still they get to go on tour with Green Day and they got themselfs tattooed on Benji's leg... I don't get it...they aren't like...different from others, or better than others... I mean..like I can only listen to them when I feel like feeling love and stuff...it's just weird that these 'punx' seem to like NFG allot and the NFG tattoo on Benji's leg is beneath a Rancide tattoo...I CAN understand you tattoo Rancid on ya body, but what's so special about NFG? I mean, Benj should know by himnself whatever he wants to tattoo on his sexy ass body, but I just don't see what's up with NFG Music: Good Charlotte - It Wasn't Enough |
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2004.11.14 01.14 I damn shame, the girl can hardly spell her name [that's not her problem, that's up to Brenda's family] Well let me show ya how it affects da whole community Now Brenda never really knew her moms and her dad was a junky, went in debt to his arms It's sad cuz I bet Brenda doesn't even kno Just cuz ya in the ghetto doesn't mean you cant grow But oh, that's a thought, my own revelation do whatever it takes to resist da temptation Brenda got herself a boyfriend Her boifriend was her cousin now let's watch the joy end She tried to hide her pregnancy from her family who didn't really care to see or give a damn if she Went out and had a church of kids As long as when da check came they got first dibs Now Brenda's belly's getting bigger but no one seems to notice any change in her figure She's 12 years old and she's having a baby in love with the molester, who sexed her crazy And yet she thinks he'll be with her forever And the dreams of a worls with the two of them together, whatever He left her and she had the baby solo, she had it on the bathroom floor and didn't know so She didn't know, what to throw away or what to keep She wrapped the baby up and threw him in the trash heep I guess she thought she'd get away, wouldn't hear the cries, she didn't realize How much the little baby had her eyes Now the baby's in the trash heep ballin Momma can't help her, but it hurts ta hear her callin Brenda wants to run away, momma say, you makin me lose pay, the social worker's here everyday Now Brenda's gotta make her own way Can't go to her family, they won't let her stay No money, no babysitter, she couldn't keep a job She tried to sell crack, but end up beeing robbed So now what's next, there ain't nothin left to sell She she sees sex as a way of leavin hell It's payin tha rent, so she really can't complain Prostitute, found slain, and Brenda's her name, she's got a baby Don't you know she's got a baby? Music: Good Charlotte - Ghost Of You |
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2004.11.13 00.16 Music: Rancid - Fall back down |
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2004.11.07 01.57 We could fall apart And I'de be your memory Lost your sense of fear feelings insensere Can I be your memory So get back to where we lasted Just like I imagined I could never feel this way So get back to the disasted My heart's beating faster Holding on to feel the same This may never start I'll tear us apart Could not be your enemy Losing half a year Waiting for you hetre I'd be your anything So get back to where we lasted Just like I imagined I could never feel this way So get back to the disasted My heart's beating faster Holding on to feel the same This may neevr start tearing out my heart nad i'd be your memory lost your sense of fear feelings disapear can i be your memory So get back to where we lasted Just like I imagined I could never feel this way So get back to the disasted My heart's beating faster Holding on to feel the same This may never start We could fall apart And I'd be your memory Lost your sense of fear Feelings incensere Can I be your memory Can I be your memory? |
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2004.11.07 01.49 ok....hmmkay my bro was gonna have some peeps over tonite to drink in before they would go out y'kno but they all cancelled accept for one dude sooo...they had allot of alcohol just for them 2...so my bro asked me to join them and it was fun, we watched a friggin ass good dvd! Donnie Darko it was soo freaky and weird...but goooood!! ok, so I found out that i'm not crazy in love..:D I can't stop thinking about him in the days that i've seen him, but now in the weekend I hardly think about him but he stays damn cute and maybe i'll fall for him deeply one day...im just happy i'm not yet... OK....going again Mood:  bouncyMusic: Descendents - Talking |
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2004.11.06 00.03 --- The Used, Talking Back Sunday, Dashboard Confessional, Good Charlotte, Yellowcard, Sugarcult, Mest, Simple Plan, Lostprophets, Blink 182, All american rejects, Goldfinger, Trapt, Eve6, Lit, Fall Out Boy, Silverchair, Story of the year, AFI, Franz Ferdinand, Desaparecidos, Homegrown, New Found Glory, Jimmy's Chicken Shack, The Ataris --- Rancid, The Distillers, NoFX, Green Day, The Offspring, Sex Pistols, The Clash, MxPx, Bad Religion, Heideroosjes, Tiger Army, Descendents, Dropkick Musrphys, Social Distortion --- Tupac, The Streets, Kanye West, N.E.R.D, Missy Elliott, Ali B, Brainpower, Eminem, 50 cent, Gangstarr, The Roots, Jay-Z, D-Men, Beastie Boys, Outkast, Michael Franti --- Madness, Less Than Jake, Beef --- HIM, Disturbed, Limp Bizkit, Muse, Rage Against the Machine, The Cure, Papa Roach --- Stevie Wonder, Jamie Cullum, Joss Stone, Ashlee Simpson, Pink, The Smiths, Bob Marley, Morrissey, Tenacious D, Venice, Weezer Mood: sick of it all Music: Tiger Army - Never Die |
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2004.11.05 23.37 Mood: crushedMusic: GBH - Alcohol |
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2004.11.05 23.25 ~*Favorites*~ Color: babyblue, black, pink Band: The Used, Good Charlotte, Rancid, Talking Back Sunday Song: Only One& Yellowcard Food: chicken Drink: beer Flavor of Gum: just sumthin fresh Book: Littekens Smell: Laura Taste: Kissing a dude Memory: Last vacation, first hangover Sport: Basketball Season: Summer Holiday: Christmas probably Movie: LOTR Quote: I'm not fat, I'm just big boned ~*Random*~ What’s your favorite curse word? Fuck On a coolness scale of 1 to 10 what would u rate yourself: 3, yeah dude! What are some good AND bad personality traits of yours?: Good: I can listen. Bad: Shy, have nothing to say most of the time. What are you afraid of?: death of family or friends of mine What is your most prized possession: my drums and cd's Who/What do you confide in most?: fam What do you like best about your body & Why?: My hands, they're so little What do you like best about your personality & Why?: I can hang out with guys and enjoy it Craziest thing you've done: Going to the beach at night and swim in the cold cold water Most embarassing moment: Beeing born Describe yourself in depth in any many words as you like.: fucked Have you ever snorted pixy stix or BC powder? : nope, I did snore sugar tho Do you drink/smoke/do any "drugs"? I drink, do some weed A Reason for living: I dunno...I only live cuz I don't wanna kill myself If you had one week left to live: Make out with Ricky, get drunk as fuck and just screw around Tattoos/piercings: heheh, just got my ears pierced twice, so I got 5 earpierces now and one in my nose 3 things that annoy you: 1) waking up 2) people think they know me just by looking at me 3) homework. 3 places you want to go to: America, Spain, Indonesia 2 movies you could watch over and over again: LOTR and American Beauty 1 person you could spend the rest of your life with: me (: Amuse us: hmm..okay...drugs are bad...hmmkay Promote us in 2-3 communities and link: this sux ~*Opinions*~ Labels: they suck, but everybody labels, not on purpose tho...but it's true, everybody does it Gay marriage: people who r against it SUCK hard! It's just who/what they are, it shouldn't matter Sex: nicé. Drugs: soft drugs like weed can be helping you out with struggling, but like heroin and shit, that just sux, it's bad...drugs r bad...hmmkay Drinking: Love it, I even like the hangovers...well not at the moment ofcourse, but thinking about is makes me laugh. Cutting/cutters: they should know by theirselfs, I know it can be releasing, but it's no good...at all Rap/Hip Hop: rox! I love it, it's sick to dance to and to listen to too Rock/Heavy Metal: I don't like metal, either hate it...but rock is good!!! Punk rock: punk is my favorite, I just adore it all....just the lyrics and the fast music and stuff Abortion: well, they should know by theirselfs, it all just depends on the situation their in Death Penality: I dunno...we don't have it here and I don't think they should do it.. Love: I'm not in love...no, it's just puppylove, but that's good too...people thinkt heir in love fast, but they probably aren't cuz it only happens 1/2/3 times in ur whole screwed up life. Hate: hate is good, it's just needfull in the world War: I hate it, it should all just stop, they should just kill people like Hitler, Bush and all the other mindfuckers! Religion: I'm not against it tho I don't believe in God...I think, haven't figured it out yet (: but I respect everyone who believes in whatever God they want Pre-marital sex: well, it became pretty usual...I wouldn't be able to wait untill marriage and I don't think allota kids can, and I don't think it's needfull either Racism: Fuck that shit, it's just bullshit! Capital punishment: hmm Illegal immigrants: Damn...it seems like everyone wants them gone, it's sickening...I think they can stay here, why should it matter, this country is just another piece of the world adn the world belongs to everybody, so no has the right to tell them not to go here. Suicide/self mutilation: it affects so many people...my friend's dad suicided when she was 5 and even tho she says it doesn''t matter, you can still see how different she became...it's just sad, her life pretty much fucked up Mood:  accomplishedMusic: Casualties - Fuck You All |
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2004.11.03 23.06 |
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2004.11.03 18.37 He's soooo into fancy clothes and shit and he cares about the price they cost...but damn he's cute! Today we had 'a moment' as my friend likes to call it..(: it was kinda flirty... but it bugs me that he may not want me becuz I dress different and act different He's got some skin on the bones and I luv it, he just makes me want to hug him all the time and be with him but fuck...I don't wanna fall in love this time I kno I can't get him and it's just hopeless for me to like him, but I wanna keep it this way too, cuz now I have something to go to school for, ya know damn, i just dunno anymore...let's just see whut happens PEACE kids oyeah, yesterday there was this pretty famous dude and he got shot and stabbed with a knife with a letter on it...he died he was killed becuz he gave his opinion all the time and he had an opinion about women in the Islam and probably becuz of that he was killed pretty psycho.. but now all these stupid ass people act like every moslim person is into killing someone who's got an opinion, so there will only be moooore discrimination and even my best friends is discriminating for a while now and everytime i try to convince her that it's all bullshit, but she keeps going on and today i wwent to her house and i found out that her mom hates people who aren't dutch, and it was crazy, cuz i'm not totally dutch either, so she just sat there in front of me saying she doesn't like black and talking about 'kutmarokkanen' I DON'T FUCKIN GET IT! just becuz one psycho dude killed a person with an opinion [which was hurting for allot of people] they think every 'black' person is like that and I fuckin hate it! it's just not right |
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2004.11.01 22.49 Broken down in bars and bathrooms All I did was what I had to Don't believe me when I tell you It's just what anyone would do Take your time to talk about it Think allot and live without it Don't believe me when I tell you It's something unforgivable Your lipstick, his collar Don't bother angel I know exactly what goes on When everything you'll get is Everything that you wanted, princess Well which would you prefer My finger on the trigger or Me faced down, down across your floor? Well just as long as this thing's loaded And will you tell all your friends You've got your gun to my head This all was only wishfull thinking I'd never lie to you Unless I had to I'll do what I got to Unless I had to I'll do what I got to, the truth Is you could slit my throat And with my one last gasping breath I'd apologise for bleeding on your shirt Mood:  sleepyMusic: (Acoustic) Rise Against - Swing Life Away |
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2004.11.01 22.19 She'll make me cry And when we talk She wonders why That I cant breath Into this life With the things she says I wanna die All the things we talk about, you know they stay on my mine And all the things we laugh about, they'll bring us thru it everytime And i would drive The whole night thru Just so I Could spend it with you I know you're mine And I hope it's true That when we fight We will make it thru All the things we talk about, you know they stay on my mind All the things we laugh about, they'll bring us thru it everytime I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling down Mood:  confusedMusic: Good Charlotte - Time after time |
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2004.10.31 21.01 fuck it...the used is fuckin finally cumin to holland and my parent said i could go..well, i was happy ya know...but there's just one thing, i normally go to a show with my cousin, but her parents won't let her...so now it's fucked..cuz it's only fun with her!! i hate it...and she loves the used to, so it's just not fair! now i dunno with who to go, maybe i even go on my own, cuz i do really wanan see the used!! i never thought they would EVER come here...soo...dammit! life just sux!!!!! im so far gone no, ive been running on empty Mood: fuckin pisssed off.. Music: The Used - Maybe Memories |
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2004.10.25 20.00 1. Kissed your cousin: well...yeah, on the cheek (: 2. Ran away: nope 3. Pictured your crush naked: yeah, ofcourse 4. Skipped school: yeah... 5. Broken someone's heart: not that I know about 6. Been in love: well..kinda..a little 7. Cried when someone died: DUH 8. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: well...almost always...i always catch myself falling for unreachable dudes 9. Broken a bone: nope 10.Done something embarrassing: yeah, probably 11. Lied: yeah 12. Cried in school: yeah...in 1th grade, when a guy broke up *shame* well, tyat was the guy I was kinda in love with 13. Coke or Pepsi: coke 14. Sprite or 7UP: sprite 15. Girls or Guys: I don't like girls, like mainstream girl are bitchy...I love guys, you can be your dirty self around them 16. Flowers or candy: candy, definetely 17. Scruff or Clean shaved: scruff is SEXY not too much ofcourse 18. Blondes or Brunettes: uhmm...other colors :P 19. Bitchy or slutty: I like bitchy girls way more than slutty, but bitchy is bad too...I like to be bitchy tho, but being around someone that's a bitch to you is no fun 20. Tall or short: tall 21. Pants or Shorts: pants 22. Night or Day: night...j'adore. 23: What do you notice first: uhmm...style 24. Last person you slow danced with: :S Robert probably 25. Worst Question To Ask: dunno... 26. Showered: whoopsie...like uhmm...3/4 days ago 27. Ran backwards: ghehheh...long time ago...should do it again (: 28. Went to the movies: dunno...month ago or something...to 'Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' good GOOD movie! 29. Your Good Luck Charm: they r fucked 30. Person You Hate Most: just slutty girls...can't name one... 31. Best Thing That Has Happened to You this year: vacation in Spain 32. Color: babyblue and black and pink 33. Movie: Eternal Sunshine, LOTR, Nemo 34. Picture on your desktop: Tupac 35. Juice: dunno 36. Finger: middle 37. Ice Cream: chocolate 39. Season: summer 40. Breakfast Food: bread 41. Artist or Band: The Used 42: Food: chocolate, chicken 43. Makes you laugh the most: Sanne 44. Makes you smile: Hasan 45. Can Make You Feel Better No Matter What: no one, really 46. Has A Crush On You: no one..i guess 47. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: well, hasan a little and some blonde Tony Lovato lookalike guy 48. Who Has it easier? Girls or Guys?: ohw...GUYS! yeah, guys have it way too easy! 49. Gives You A Funny Feeling When You See Them: the Tony lookalike guy 50. Sit by the phone waiting for a phone call all night: nope 51. Save AOL conversations: don;t have AOL 53. Wish you were someone else: hell yeah! 54. Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: yeah, sometimes, like once a month 55. Forward secret e-mails: ha, no 56. Cologne: dunno 57. Perfume: Laura 58. Kiss: Guido 59. Romantic memory: hmmm...romance? what's that? 60. Kissed Two People In The Same Day?: nope 61. Fallen for your best friend?: nope 62. Made out with JUST a friend?: nope 63. Been rejected: yeah...that sucked 64. Been in love?: not truly deeply or anything 65. Been in lust?: yep 66. Used someone?: yeah..kinda, but it was 2ways 67. Been used: yup, same guy I used :P 68. Cheated on someone?: yeah...when I was like 12 years old or something 69. Been cheated on?: not that I know 70. Been kissed?: yeah :D 71. Done something you regret?: yes, who hasn't? 72. You touched?: Jeph 73. You talked to?: Sanne 74. You hugged?: Jeph 75. You instant messaged?: Sophie right now 76. that kissed you?: Wouter 77. You yelled at?: no one 78. Who Text Messaged You?: no one 79. Who broke your heart?: Kass, i guess 80. Who told you they loved you?: no one 81. Color your hair? yup 82. Have tattoos? nope...:( 83. Have piercings below the waist? nope 84. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both? nope 85. Own A Webcam?: nope 86. Own a thong? yeah 87. Ever get off the damn computer?: ghehehe..yeah, some tiny little times 88. Sprechen Sie Deutsch? ah oui 89. Habla espanol? sevesa! 90. Quack?: grrr 91. Stolen anything over $50? nope, little angel inside 92. Smoke? nope 93. Schizophrenic? yes..or no...i dunno 94. Obsessive? The Used :D:D:D and guys making out! 95. Compulsive? ... 96. Obsessive Compulsive? ... 97. Panic? not really 98. Anxiety? yeah, dude 99. Depressed? noh 100. Suicidal? no, don't wanna do that to my best friend Music: Rancid - Journey to the end |
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2004.10.25 17.53 ahw...my stomach aches, i feel fucked, tired and hungry...and I had to type that 3 times before I had it right...): ohw..it smells soooo good in here, i wanna eat it...(: yeah, lost prophets rule! I was gonna go to one of their shows, but it sold out...today i heard a friend of mine went to a rolling stones concert last year...heavy! and the next time they will come here, she'll go again and this saturday she'll be with Maroon5...kewl! Friday is a schoolparty...yay...:s ahw well.. damn....gotta go again... \m/ Mood:  angryMusic: |
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2004.10.24 23.00 well, gotta sleep now...school's on tomorrow again...dammit ): If it was on me, vacation would last for the rest of my life haven't had any change to skate in the whole week...*sigh* but well...nighty night...ok, that sounds crappy PEACE Mood: vicious Music: HIM - Right Here In My Arms |
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2004.10.24 22.58 well, gotta sleep now...school's on tomorrow again...dammit ): If it was on me, vacation would last for the rest of my life haven't had any chance to skate in the whole week...*sigh* but well...nighty night...ok, that sounds crappy PEACE Mood: vicious Music: The Distillers - Die On A Rope |
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[ CutUpAngel ]