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Imperfection

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[12 Dec 2005|10:10pm]
I got in to Boston University.
And I am homecoming queen.

(purge)

[16 Aug 2005|02:37pm]
In the next two years, this is what I'm going to accomplish:

- Weight (at least) 120 pounds
- Attend Boston University, majoring in pyshocology with a concentration in pre-med
- Be an Alpha Phi
- And possibly be on the dance team

(3 binges | purge)

[10 May 2005|09:34pm]
This was in Erin's profile.
You know, Erin, my former friend who sucked off my former boyfriend.

I dont care if it hurts,
I want to have control.
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
Youre so fucking special
I wish I was special.

(purge)

[17 Apr 2005|08:53pm]
bronxbomberz2504: is my shit still outside
xKRx06: yup
bronxbomberz2504: wtf u better brinbg that inside
xKRx06: why
xKRx06: you shouldve got it today
bronxbomberz2504: because aas mad as u r at me u know that their is no point to fuck up my stuff now
xKRx06: i didnt fuck it up
xKRx06: its on my porch
bronxbomberz2504: well at least bring it in so i doenst get rusty
bronxbomberz2504: pleasse
xKRx06: all i have to say is how dare you call me a slut for kissing another guy (AFTER i knew you cheated on my once with sam) when you fucking got head from two sluts on the same night at the BEGINNING of our relationship at a party that i had just left
xKRx06: fuck you andrew, if you don't want your shit fucked up then get it tonight because its staying out there
bronxbomberz2504: haha
bronxbomberz2504: ur so fucked up
xKRx06: im fucked up/
xKRx06: ?
xKRx06: right
bronxbomberz2504: yes
bronxbomberz2504: you were with another guy and supposedly only kissed
bronxbomberz2504: yeah right
xKRx06: actually - that's completely true
xKRx06: believe me - i wish i could say it was more because i hate you right now
bronxbomberz2504: and u gave tim head while we were on a break
xKRx06: actually - no
bronxbomberz2504: so fuck you
bronxbomberz2504: um thats not what i heard
xKRx06: i hung out with tim, but i didn't give him head
bronxbomberz2504: oh we were going ou t
xKRx06: what you hear and what is true is not always the same
xKRx06: and no - we weren't
xKRx06: but fuck you - and fuck alena and erin - that's fucked up and you know it. theres no way you can turn this around to make it my fault
xKRx06: 4 fucking months into our relationship
xKRx06: i'm sorry i didnt make you happy even back then
bronxbomberz2504: well im sorry you found out but u should b more mad at ur friends that knew cuz i thought u said youd always find out .....guess not
bronxbomberz2504: shut up yes u did
xKRx06: obviously not
bronxbomberz2504: and u still do
bronxbomberz2504: it was fucked up bu t
xKRx06: fuck that - you don't fucking do that if youre happy
bronxbomberz2504: i know thats why u did it
xKRx06: i didn't give someone head
xKRx06: i didn't fuck anyone
bronxbomberz2504: and u dont cheat on someone u love
xKRx06: exactly - you don't cheat on someone you love
bronxbomberz2504: i know thats mt point
xKRx06: so you never loved me? alright
bronxbomberz2504: i didnt love u
bronxbomberz2504: then
xKRx06: alright then
bronxbomberz2504: and sometimes i think weather that whole situation was what made me love u in the first place
xKRx06: thanks
bronxbomberz2504: thats not a bad thing
xKRx06: it's good to know we were in a pity relationship
xKRx06: who else did you hook up with while we were together?
xKRx06: get it out now
bronxbomberz2504: i realized how much i cared afterwards
bronxbomberz2504: i lost sleep for like a month cuz of that
bronxbomberz2504: every night was like me just waiting for u to find out
bronxbomberz2504: and i wish u did
bronxbomberz2504: actually i dont bu t
xKRx06: yeah - me too
bronxbomberz2504: i dont
bronxbomberz2504: forget i said that
xKRx06: i can't
xKRx06: i wish i would've known
bronxbomberz2504: well im glad u didnt
bronxbomberz2504: u changed me
bronxbomberz2504: and i'll always love u for that
xKRx06: fuck that
bronxbomberz2504: unfortunatly i couldnt change u hahaha
bronxbomberz2504: no i mean it
xKRx06: no - fuck you
bronxbomberz2504: well take it as it is then
xKRx06: what
bronxbomberz2504: i wasnt with u cuz i felt bad or because i dint want tohurt u
xKRx06: obviously you were
xKRx06: you said you were
bronxbomberz2504: no i wasnt
bronxbomberz2504: no i didnt
xKRx06: and you fucking cheated on me with 2 of my "friends" 4 months into our relationship
xKRx06: fuck that - if i would've known that things would be so much different
bronxbomberz2504: you gave all my friends head
xKRx06: and you know - its not even JUST that they were my friends, its the fact that i had JUST left that party
xKRx06: were you waiting for me to leave?
bronxbomberz2504: no shit ur just mad cuz i had one up on u the whole time
bronxbomberz2504: no it just happened
xKRx06: so who else "just happened"?
xKRx06: tell me now - because this will probably be the last conversation we have
bronxbomberz2504: dont play that shit with me cuz ur no angle either
bronxbomberz2504: so
bronxbomberz2504: nothing
bronxbomberz2504: no one
bronxbomberz2504: what u did was worse
xKRx06: no
bronxbomberz2504: 14 months

xKRx06: definitaly not
bronxbomberz2504: I loved u
xKRx06: kissing someone
xKRx06: a kiss
bronxbomberz2504: a bunch of kisses
bronxbomberz2504: i saw i t
xKRx06: 2 hours of aimless driving around and a kiss ... verses getting head from at least 2 girls and kissing another
bronxbomberz2504: i fucking hate u cuz if u had found that out u never would have had the chance to do that to me
bronxbomberz2504: but i would have lost all the good things too
xKRx06: yeah well i feel pretty fucking stupid right now
bronxbomberz2504: you to
xKRx06: and embarassed that all these people knew
bronxbomberz2504: i just got lucky and saw u
xKRx06: and that i went 10 months without knowing
xKRx06: thinking you loved me
bronxbomberz2504: thats how i knew cuz u were acting like i was after i did it
bronxbomberz2504: i did
xKRx06: that was the first time
xKRx06: ever
bronxbomberz2504: doubt it but....
xKRx06: and it was a kiss
bronxbomberz2504: what can i say
xKRx06: im not saying it was right
xKRx06: but its definately not the same as you
xKRx06: thats fucking low
bronxbomberz2504: i know
bronxbomberz2504: but the time was worse
xKRx06: so whatever - fuck you - you're shit is sitting on my porch, it'll be there untill you pick it up. have a good life
bronxbomberz2504: wow
bronxbomberz2504: why r u still so mad about it
xKRx06: 10 months of our relationship was a lie
xKRx06: why do you think im mad
bronxbomberz2504: no it wasnt
xKRx06: yes - it was
bronxbomberz2504: i got lucky and got away with somthin that ment nothing
xKRx06: because no matter what, that happened, and it was always in the back of your mind whether you realized it or not
bronxbomberz2504: i loved u more than ne thing if u couldnt tell
xKRx06: yeah, well so did i
bronxbomberz2504: u were my life
xKRx06: me and any other girl that would suck your dick
bronxbomberz2504: i couldnt lose that and when i did
bronxbomberz2504: shut up
bronxbomberz2504: thats not true
xKRx06: espcially ones that are my friends
bronxbomberz2504: omg i didnt do it on purpose like that
xKRx06: im pretty sure a "dick sucking contest" has to be set up
bronxbomberz2504: yeah in about 10 seconds
xKRx06: and what was this - 5 minutes after i left? 10? after you tried to make me go hmome with about 5 incredibly drunk people
bronxbomberz2504: no actually if u remember i wanted u to go home with tim who was stayin glonger
bronxbomberz2504: thats what happened
xKRx06: who was cocked
xKRx06: i remember him practically falling down the stairs
bronxbomberz2504: all of u s
bronxbomberz2504: i had to ask ed what happened the next morning
bronxbomberz2504: i wasnt sure if it did
xKRx06: no, i mean tim was cocked
xKRx06: thats not what i hear
bronxbomberz2504: i know he was but i wanted u to stay
xKRx06: whatever
bronxbomberz2504: yup
xKRx06: obviously it didn't matter whether it was me or not, as long as you were getting your dick sucked
bronxbomberz2504: i know what happened know cuz we've all talked abou ti
xKRx06: they both did it to you?
bronxbomberz2504: listen its over
xKRx06: you're completely right - it's over
bronxbomberz2504: im sorry
bronxbomberz2504: hahah dont give me that u did the same thin g
xKRx06: so why don't you call one of those whores up and talk to them about this problem ... because you won't be talking to me anymore
bronxbomberz2504: ok i dont care
xKRx06: great
bronxbomberz2504: its not really my prob
bronxbomberz2504: it happened
xKRx06: oh no - you didn't do anything wrong at all
bronxbomberz2504: no i know i did
xKRx06: you're right - and that's your problem
xKRx06: but fuck you
bronxbomberz2504: what
xKRx06: peace out

(1 binge | purge)

[22 Feb 2005|12:28pm]
Andrew: listen kaitlyn i love you but if you dont settle this shit with me soon your gonna lose the first person that ever loved you and if u can do that then just let me know and we dont ever have to talk again. thats not what i want but i cant let this make me upset forever ya know so make your choice, me or what feels right at the moment. for both of our sakes i hope you choose me cuz i still love you like i did on dec 9th of 2004. one year wow what the hell went wrong i think about it everyday but i cant figure out what it was. obviously it wasnt just one thing but i want to know when shit hit the fan for us. i love you like it was still my senion year but i need to talk to you soon. and not when you have free time tomorrow or not at all you need to understand how important this is to me and whats left of us i hope u make the right decision good night

(purge)

[21 Feb 2005|06:58am]
Andrew: what the hell are you talking about you fucking cheated on me and had another person in your life already anyway. i dontknow what u wanted from me, if you expected me to sit around and wait for the rest of my life to move on your wrong. maybe if we broke up under better conditions then i might have had a harder time moving on but afterwhat i saw i lost all those feelings cuz i knew it was going on and i just needed to prove it. your so full of shit kait all the things you said to me were all bull shit and even though you might have meant some of them i just playede into it for some reason. i guess i just got used to you and forgot what it was like to be single and i wasnt sure if i wanted to jump back in the water. i dont see how that was aslap in the face to you cuz you were the reason why we stopped going out if you hadnt done that we prob would have been good for a little longer or until i caught you another time but now that we are single

Auto response from xKRx06: One Tree Hill and sleep
It's been a long weekend.
I heart TPDA

Andrew: things are so much better for me andi didnt expect that to happen but i like it
Andrew: and no!!!!!!!! why the hell would i think about you while im with another girl im over us and thats why i could see you and not have it phase me
Andrew: we were good together but what happened was 4 the better i guess

(3 binges | purge)

[21 Jan 2005|04:09pm]
I haven't posted in so long.
Wow.
But I need to now. My boyfriend called me a psycho and told me I ruined his prom. Sometimes his angry words hurt.


Ok I lied.

Most of the time his words hurt.

(7 binges | purge)

[05 Aug 2004|01:32pm]
I've lost 3 pounds since the last time I wrote. And those were 3 legitiment pounds - not water weight - because they're still off! So yay. I only have 13 more to go. School starts on the 26th, and I wanted to go back skinny. You know, that whole "wow factor" thing. But it looks like that won't be happening.

My license was going good, until today. Work was cancelled because of the rain, so me and Lauren decided to go out for breakfast at Pickled Pepper. And when I was leaving I hit not one, but two parked cars. My Daddy's Lexus is all smashed in the front. And I feel horrible, because he goes out of his way to let me drive that car. What the fuck. So I'm pretty emotionally distraught ... Andrew's coming over soon.

(1 binge | purge)

[15 Jul 2004|08:01pm]
I got my license and so did my boyfriend.

(purge)

:: And again :: [14 Jul 2004|06:57pm]
So my driver's test is tomorrow. Last night I went to Andrew's and we studied because he's taking it too. And I left my manual there. Because we were supposed to study tonight. Except he just called me and told me he has to go out to eat with his family. All of a sudden. An hour ago our plans were set. This always happens and it's beginning to look a little shady. Not to mention the fact that I am now going to fail my test. And he probably will too; because I bet he's just gonna go out and get completely fucked up tonight. I thought that by being with him I could prevent that. But no. He doesn't care. He doesn't fucking care about anything.

(4 binges | purge)

[11 Jul 2004|03:14pm]
[ mood | infuriated ]

I'm fucking heated right now. I'm so sick of all this shit - seriously.

Things have been weird with me and Andrew lately. Or at least they seem weird to me. It seems like I annoy him or something. I don't know. But last night he told me he was hanging out with the boys and they would probably go to Katy Pierce's house or something. So I was like "Ok whatever, I'll try to find something else to do." Then I realized that I really don't have any friends because I spend all my time with him. But anyways, I ended up going out to eat with lauren and Bess. We needed something to do after, so I called Chad to see if he was having people over or something, but he wasn't. Actually, he was at Andrew's house. And I knew from that moment I was fucked. I told Chad to tell Andy I said hi and Chad goes "umm he's kinda busy right now" so I was like alright whatever. Me and Lauren ended up just playing mini golf. I came home and went to bed, waiting for Andrew to call me when he got home.

It was like 12.30 when he did, and the first thing he says is "Why the fuck didn't you call me?" I think he was a little fucked up or something - I don't know. So then we got into this huge fight because I didn't call him and tell him I was going out, and instead I called Chad or something. Which wasn't the case at all - I knew he had plans that didn't involve me; he didn't invite me to go to Katy's with them, so I figured he didn't want me around and I wasn't going to invite myself. I don't do that. And I only called Chad to see what people were doing - not cuz I wanted to hang out with him. But that's not how Andrew took it. So for the next hour he proceded to tell me how I really felt about everything and how I reacted and how I knew he wanted to be with me and blah blah. I fucking hate being told how I feel. Hate it. That's when I realized I am in a controlling relationship. I told him that. And he told me to shut the fuck up.

So he made a big deal about us spending the whole day together today and then going to the fireworks later tonight. I was fine with that. So I called him around 12.30 and he said he had to take a shwoer and clean his room and to call him in a little bit. So I was ready to call him when my mom started flipping out and being the fucking psycho that she is. I wasn't gonna ask her to bring me to his house then, because she'd probably hit me, so I called him and told him I'd be there in like 2 hours. He said he was going golfing and he'd call me when he got back. An hour later he calls and says "I have to go play basketball in Willimantic at 5.00. I'll be home in a couple hours. So you can find something else to do." So fucking sick. I'm glad he's blown me off yet again to be with his stupid friends. And when I tell him that he flips out at me and tells me that he spends all his time with me and I'm so selfish. I told him he didn't have to then and said I was sorry for bothering him and he said "You should be." Fucking sick relationship. FUCKING SICK.

I feel like he has this whole other life; like he doesn't need me. And I rely on him so much. Seriously - I don't make other plans unless I know what he's doing ... probably because I don't want him to get mad and say I'm blowing him off.

Wow - re-reading this I realize how bad I made him sound. Everything is so fucked up ... like he makes me feel so good about myself; he's the only person that makes me feel good like that. And then there's times where I feel like he doesn't care. What the fuck

(purge)

:: Camp :: [06 Jul 2004|02:32pm]
[ music | "No Love" - Big Tymers ]

So Camp Willay has begun. It's pretty chill - I'm with the preschool kids so I don't have to wear shorts. And it's a great way to get out of eating ... just say I'll have breakfast and lunch there. And maybe have some cafeteria fruit or something. Though I must say - this free food is not the same as the stuff Annie used to serve us during school :(

(5 binges | purge)

[03 Jul 2004|04:53pm]
So Steph has motivated me to actually update this thing.

I'm in a shitty mood. I have been since last night. Sick fucking friends. I'm going out to eat with my parents in a little, then I'm going to Andrew's. He told me not to straighten my hair. I think he wants to take another shower. But I'm really not in the mood.

[Breakfast]
*2 eggs - 1 whole, 1 white: 108 cals
*Low-fat wheat toast, 1 piece: 52 cals

[Lunch]
*2 Gherkin pickles: 14 cals
*Angel Hair marinara (Smart Ones): 240
*Parmesan cheese: 42 cals

[Snack]
*Granola bar: 187 cals
*2 mini doughnuts: 190 cals
*1 can diet coke w/ Lemon: 4 cals

Total Cals: 838

[Exercise]
Stationary bike/12 minutes: 50 cals
Pilates/stretching/7 mins: 22 cals

(1 binge | purge)

[22 Jun 2004|09:05am]
Hey - I was wondering -
Does anybody have any exercises for love handles? I HATE mine but don't really know what I can do for them.

Thanks

(1 binge | purge)

[18 Jun 2004|09:05am]
Read more... )

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[23 May 2004|02:37pm]
Me n Andy )

Me n Little Nathan )

Me n Jeff )

I'm the girl ... with the pink dress

(purge)

[23 May 2004|02:32pm]
I'm ready to be rated )

I'm the girl ... with the pink dress

(2 binges | purge)

[24 Sep 2003|06:41am]
[ music | "Boys of Summer Remix" - DJ Sammy ]

Homecoming countdown : 18 days

-Breakfast-
*1 donut stick - 192 cals
*1/3 cup raisin bran - 69 cals
*1/3 cup skim milk - 17 cals
*2 pieces raisin toast - 172 cals
*1 cup tea with sugar - 67 cals

Total: 517

(4 binges | purge)

[21 Sep 2003|12:08am]
[ mood | depressed ]

Stuart445: and all i heard about her being so much better than you is that she is a lil more pretty. not much but a lil
xKRx06: who'd you hear that from?
Stuart445: just someone whose seen her b4
xKRx06: who
Stuart445: i will tell you someday. when the time comes
xKRx06: now
Stuart445: well i can't cuz its not a direct quote,,, its kinda paraphrased
xKRx06: what do you mean
xKRx06: what did they say and who
Stuart445: they just said that she was prettier, and who.. thats your friends, laura or louren i forget her name
xKRx06: lauren
Stuart445: yeah
xKRx06: who said that
Stuart445: you see, this is why i can't be trusted with somethin said, i always open my fat mouth. this is why i'm gonna stop;-)
xKRx06: honestly who said that
xKRx06: dave?
Stuart445: y u wanna know so much?
xKRx06: because
xKRx06: i need to


Thats what this kid I work at the Speedway with said. About me compared to Lauren. Because Lauren likes Dave, this other kid that works at the Speedway. I knew I wasn't good looking ... but I always thought I was better looking than Lauren.

(4 binges | purge)

[20 Aug 2003|10:39pm]
Hmmm .... so its been quite some time. I'm not even trying to fill you in on all the shit that's gone on. Life has been decent ... not good, just decent.

School starts on the 27th. I lost no weight this summer. I think I just got fatter. And homecoming is in like October ... and I wanna look good. I wanna have a good date, a good dress, a good appearance. I think I want Andrew to ask me. I love that boy :)

Anyways - I want to lost at least 15-20 pounds before homecoming, so I was wondering if anybody was in the same situation as me and wanted a partner!! Jus comment .... mucho <3 * Kait

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