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hu yer ot hoy

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[16 Sep 2003|08:30am]

jones_norah
I'm back and as abusive as ever.

Space Ghost is my hero )

And chances are, nobody will think that's as funny as I do.
1 *crap | up* |

[16 Sep 2003|08:19am]

jones_norah
It's time for a hu entry.

clicky clicky )
4 *craps | up* |

[08 Sep 2003|10:59pm]

kiki_dunst
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
3 *craps | up* |

[05 Sep 2003|04:21am]

magg_gyllenhaal
NORAH. Where the fuck are you?
5 *craps | up* |

fuckwit [04 Sep 2003|09:03pm]

jake_gyllenhaal
[ mood | amused ]

Happy Birthday, Wes.
1 *crap | up* |

[04 Sep 2003|03:38am]

magg_gyllenhaal
In honor of your birthday, I think this comic that Norah found, should be for you.
7 *craps | up* |

happy happy joy joy [04 Sep 2003|02:08am]
shannynsossamon
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | senorita - justin timberlake ]

Happy Merfday, Bentley.
asdjkl;.. nurr. <33

preezuhnt )
1 *crap | up* |

comic relief [02 Sep 2003|08:08pm]

jase
[ mood | creative ]
[ music | split second__lisa loeb {she's hot} ]

A traveler knocked on the door of the house where a cabdriver had told him he could be sexually accommodated. An eye-level panel slid open and a female voice asked what he wanted.

"I want to get screwed," said the man.

"OK, mister, but this is a private club, so slip twenty bucks as an initiation fee through the mail slot," answered the voice.

The man slid his $20 bucks in, the panel was closed.
Minutes passed and nothing happened.

He began to pound on the door insistently, and the panel slid open again.

"Hey," exclaimed the sport, "I want to get screwed!"

"What?" said the voice, "Again?"

1 *crap | up* |

nuhaa, i'm good. [30 Aug 2003|11:53pm]

jacques_b
[ mood | chipper ]
[ music | afi ]

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"

The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times.

"One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream."

So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes."

So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.

She said, "You now have 3 wishes."

I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger."

She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!

She then asked, "What will be your second wish?"

I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, "I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream." She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. "We then made love for hours!"

Later, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, "You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?"

I looked at her and replied, "How about a little head?"

up* |

[29 Aug 2003|12:11am]

magg_gyllenhaal
I took the liberty of adding Jason and Jacques to the Hu.

Hi boys.
3 *craps | up* |

My Hu update. [23 Aug 2003|04:21pm]

magg_gyllenhaal
A women desperately looking for work goes into a toy factory.

The Personnel Manager goes over her resume and explains to her that he regrets he has nothing worthy of her. The woman answers that she really needs work and will take almost anything. The Personnel Manager hems and haws and finally says he does have a low skill job on the Tickle-Me-Elmo line and nothing else. The woman happily accepts.. He takes her down to the line and explains her duties and that she should come in at 8am the next day.

The next day at 8:45 there's a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Tickle-Me-Elmo line manager comes in and starts ranting about the woman just hired. After screaming for 15 minutes about how badly backed up the assembly line is, the Personnel Manager suggested he be shown the problem.

Together they head down to the line and sure enough Elmos are backed up from here to kingdom come. Right at the end of the line is the woman just hired. She has pulled over a roll of the material used for the Elmos and has a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric and takes 2 marbles and starts sewing them between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager starts to kill himself laughing and finally after 20 minutes of rolling around, he pulls himself together and walks over to the new employee and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. What I wanted you to do was give Elmo two test tickles."


Well, I thought it was funny. -puts on members only jacket, dusts off the shoulders and walks out-
5 *craps | up* |

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. [21 Aug 2003|07:13pm]

gwyn_k_paltrow
[ mood | weird ]
[ music | Hey Jude & The Beatles ]

Someone please stop me from dancing around my house singing `Hey Jude`. Including the `na na na na`s and the, er, `Jude-a-jude-a-jude-a-jude-a`s.

.....I haven't posted in the Hu for a while. -dusts off members only jacket-

TAKE A SAD SONG, AND MAKE IT BETTER......

2 *craps | up* |

it's psuedo-comedian time again [09 Aug 2003|11:56pm]
shannynsossamon
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | let you know - hoobastank ]

A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place....

Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!" The others agree that sounds like a good place.

Then the American says, "Yeah, that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink." Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.

Then the Irishman says, "You think that's great? Where I come from in Dublin, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"

"Wow!" say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?"
"No," replies the Irish guy, "but it happened to me sister!"

NARF!! -squees and runs off-

up* |

an invitation of sorts [07 Aug 2003|03:57pm]

jake_gyllenhaal
[ mood | high ]
[ music | prayer // disturbed ]

Ello, ladies and gentlemen. It is with my greatest pleasure to stand before you all here today and formally invite you all to attend the engagement party of a one hu-girl named Shannyn Sossamon to a one hu-heir Heath Ledger here in the beautiful country of Prague. Shan has also informed me to tell you all, that there is more than enough room in the house(small country) that it is to be held at, infact, if you wish to bring anyone else along, a dog.. a cat.. a signifigant other perhaps? Hm, you are more than welcome to do so. |stifles a few laughs| With that said, my friends, mates, wierdos, lovelies, dames, hotties, moochers, confidants, dorkos and sibling; I here do propose a toast opon this stellar announcement that we formerly induct Mr. Ledger into the hu clan. Yay or Nay?

I vote.. d'oh, I mean, YAY.

5 *craps | up* |

[07 Aug 2003|06:22pm]

magg_gyllenhaal
I have a sad obsession with VH1. Thanks alot Norah. And I fucked up the rotation too. MWAHAHAHAHAHHAA.
7 *craps | up* |

[03 Aug 2003|10:48pm]

catherine_b
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Ms. Jones watching Jackass? ]

Look NJ, I'm posting out of order. Sorry, Jake. -insert chuckie chuckle- I'm such a clever little booger.

I'm sooo bored. I miss the dead surfer duuude. Don't you?

BIG MAC ATTACK!!! -rolls around in Ronald McDonald's play pin. Er..playhouse-

The End

4 *craps | up* |

[03 Aug 2003|09:03pm]

jones_norah
[ music | crazy in love::beyonce woooooo! ]

I'm having a tea party and all British people are invited. Because I want it to be authentic. Bring your favorite cup and doily. I don't know how to spell doily. doiley. one of those lacy napkin things, right?

I'm starting up my pattern again. Jake Gyllenhaal you better damn well update the hu after me because I'm compulsive like that. It goes, Norah update, Jake update, Kate update, other people update. And then. Norah update. Jake update. Kate update. Other people update.... yeah, like that. ::Britney Spears impersonation::

Oh. And if ever you see a Kate and Norah conversation posted anywhere (this is a preview), fear not hu men! We're not stalking you. We're just using him as our muse in all things .... pervy?

So, KateyB, she really did lick that cd cover, didn't she?

7 *craps | up* |

Pervtastic [02 Aug 2003|11:59pm]

catherine_b
[ music | c-c-c-cinnamon lips::okgo ]

-enter catwoman-

Like whoa.. I have a brand new layout to pimp thanks to our beautimous, luverly, pervalicious Gwyn <33. Here's your chance to go look. Hug it, love it, and be nice. Rawr, don't make me scratch all yer purty lil faces.

-tosses random twinkies in the air-

I love you, Gwyn. -insert series of random kissy faces-

6 *craps | up* |

[02 Aug 2003|04:07pm]

jake_gyllenhaal
So... it's simple, I felt like abusing the hu and showing of my new "ot hoy" icon. The end.
8 *craps | up* |

[02 Aug 2003|02:47pm]

jones_norah
[ music | Vitamin::Incubus ]

I must now bring to your attention the excellent layout made by our lovely, Gwyneth. Gwyn is my hero. So. send all your pseudo lesbianism love to her.

And LOOK AT MY LAYOUT

6 *craps | up* |

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