| You're Gone. |
[22 Nov 2002|10:36pm] |
I disposed of your beauty last night. I'm gonna drag you down with me,
alright? Let's pretend things are okay. Let's pretend things went my way.
I disposed of your flesh last night. To me, it seems like you hate me. Go
ahead, i'll let your actions drive me to die. I'm gonna show you why this
hurts so bad, alright? I disposed of your body last night. I can't live like this.
No, I can't live like this.
you're gone
you're gone
you're gone
you're gone
you're gone
you're gone
you're gone.
and you're never coming back.
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| No, Nothing More |
[22 Nov 2002|10:21pm] |
I wanna be who you wanna be. I fell for you harder when you said
you loved me. But once you died, I loved you more. You're hard,
cold, and dead on the floor. One by one, my beauty marks peal off
my body. I am nothing. I kissed you harder when you said you loved
me. I learned I am nothing, no nothing more. You're hard, cold, and
dead on the floor. It's hard to want something you can never have.
Baby, you're so beautiful when you're mad. You said I was the only
person I needed in this world. You kissed my lips, my neck, and went
down some more to feel a little heat. You bashed my head into the
fucking wall. And I'm tryin to forget this all. I am nothing, no nothing
more. You're hard, cold, and dead on the floor. I lay down next to you
hoping I will die too. Yeah, I wanna be with you. But I am nothing, no
nothing more. You're hard, cold, and dead on the floor. But I still wanna
be yours..
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| My Ruby Red Shoes |
[21 Nov 2002|08:43pm] |
I am alone again in this bed. I think about the words you said.
"I hate you, can't you see I don't care?" well, now I know and I'm
aware. And I am alone in this bed. I wanna go home, yeah.
I wanna go home...
It's a cold lonely night. If I clap my ruby red shoes together,
will I be with you? It'd a cold lonely night. If I clap my ruby
red shoes, will I be there with you? no, and never again.
fuck you fuck you fuck you!
It's a cold lonely night. If I clap my ruby red shoes together,
will I be with you? It'd a cold lonely night. If I clap my ruby
red shoes, will I be there with you? no, and never again.
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!
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| I Left Your Heart In My Basement |
[21 Nov 2002|08:30pm] |
I remember the first time you woke up, you headed
straight to my house. windows were locked, doors
were locked, I tried to shut you out. You broke into my
window, just to say "i love you". But I just wanted to
fucking kill you.
and I left your heart in my basement. I swear to god
it was an accident. yeah, I left my heart in my basement.
The end is just a minute away.. hey!
I remember the first time we fucked behind the corner store.
I said I loved you the moment before. We ran about laughing
in the dark misty streets. I didn't know then that you were using
me.
and I left your heart in my basement. I swear to god
it was an accident. yeah, I left my heart in my basement.
The end is just a minute away.. hey!
Saturday morning, I walked you down to my cellar.
I layed you down and and kissed you, and said we'd never part.
But I whispered in your ear "fuck you", and I cut out your heart.
I didn't know what else to do, so I dressed you in your nicest suit.
and i throw him in the water!
the end is just a minute away.. hey!
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| Safety First |
[20 Nov 2002|09:02pm] |
The sky is really pretty tonight, isn't it? If I had a ladder high enough,
I'd grab the nearest star, and throw it at you. I hope you burn. I don't
care what you think anymore. I think I'm gonna light my match, and
throw it at your feet. I'll whisper to you "have a nice night, baby."
And I remember the other night, you asked me how I felt about you.
Well, I'm sorry I did it this way, but that's how. I think I'll put my shoes
on and run now.
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| Monday |
[19 Nov 2002|06:43pm] |
Today is monday, and I'm trying to start brand new.
I'll find a way to stop looking at you. yeah, today is
monday, let's start a new life. Throw away the wrong,
and start off right. Tonight, I'll go home, and let the
water cleanse my face. Maybe theres a way to make
you stay. I'll smile in the mirror, I'll look my very best.
But water can't wash away ugliness.
Today is monday, and the tears begin to fade. I'll let my
heart open and pretend things are okay. yeah, today is
monday, lets start a new life. I'll let my skin tear apart
and pretend things are alright.
Tonight, I'll go home and cry myself to sleep. Maybe I
don't know, you might be thinking of me. I'll try and
smile in the mirror, I'll try and look my very best.
But looking my very best can't get rid of ugliness.
Today is monday, and I'm crying again.
yeah, today is monday and I'm feeling more dead.
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| Pushing You In (The Riverside) |
[14 Nov 2002|10:05pm] |
Drink my blood if you want. Eat my flesh, if you feel the
need to. I'm always here. Just drain my remains when
you're through. There's a warmth inside, but I know you
really hate me within. Here, take a walk with me along the
riverside. I might just push you in.
(Note: I only did half of this poem thing.)
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| When You Let Go Of My Hand (I Put My Hands On Your Throat) |
[14 Nov 2002|09:44pm] |
I remember the first time you grabbed
hold of my hand. I would of said something,
but my lips were numb. I still remember
every move you made that night. I still
don't wanna say sorry for what I've done. I
kinda miss you, though..
When you let go of my hand, I put my hands
on your throat. I don't wanna remember the
first stare or the last note. When you let go
of my hand, yeah, I put my wraped my hands
around your throat. I felt good to see you choke.
When I said I loved you, you gave me the
weirdest look. Maybe you deserve this after all.
Noone could love you like I could. Last monday,
at 10:00, I was anticipating to call you and hear
your sweet voice. I decided not to, you probably
wouldn't answer.
When you let go of my hand, I put my hands on
your throat. I don't wanna remember the first stare
or the last note. When you let go of my hand, yeah,
I wraped my hands around your throat. It felt good
to see you choke. When you let go of my hand, I put
my hands on your throat. I can't remember the first
stare or the last note. When you let go of my hand,
yeah, I wraped my hands around your throat. It felt
good to see you choke.
When you let go of my hand, I put my hands on
your throat.
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| Destroying You Is Like Fucking You |
[13 Nov 2002|08:05pm] |
I told you I loved you. But I lied.
Maybe I should leave and have you
wonde why. But I'll never forget the
days, when you'd rest your eyes in
summer's shade. This doesn't mean
I don't hate you, though.
When you go out, I think I'm gonna
destroy your house. Lock all the doors,
forget the days I was yours. When you
go out I'm gonna destroy your house.
yeah, I think I will.
I will smash all the windows, and pretend
they're your face. I'll beat the truth out of
you when all the lies fade away. I'll spit on
all the pictres of us together and throw them
against the wall. I mean nothing to you at all.
When you go out, I'm gonna destroy your
house. Lock all the doors, forget the days
I was yours. When you go out, I'm gonna
destroy your house. yeah, I think I will.
yeah, I think I will. yeah.. I think I will.
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| Refusing Your Sex |
[12 Nov 2002|07:43pm] |
I'm walking through the streets alone. I've
finally found my way home. Then there you
are. Just standing there. I wanna punch you
in the face, and tell you I hate you. but I can't.
I just stare. I finally have the nerve to turn my
hand into a fist, but then you say "wont you give
me a goodnight kiss?" I go to kiss him, and I
don't know why. His hand runs down my hip to
my thigh. I love the feeling of his precious skin.
I bring him inside, I feel i must be losing my
fucking mind. I say "I hate you, I swear I'll kill."
he says "I'm not scared. I know you will." I say
"Don't you touch me, I wouldn't lie, I really
hate you." and he says "Say again. I know you do."
I cut through his silky skin. I stomp on every single
piece of flesh that falls to the floor. I swear, I've lost
my mind. I don't hate him anymore. I just miss him
badly tonight. But atleast I have your blood to
remember you by.
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| Your Body Is An Air Conditioner. |
[11 Nov 2002|10:06pm] |
the night is so cold, and you're stuck alone. there's nothing you
want more than to put your finger on that trigger. you want nothing
more than to be dead. I burned everything you gave me today.
I don't want to say sorry because I don't need to be. I'll just say
you're forgiven, then I'll be on my way. you're sinking lower, I know.
once you put your arms around me, It's so hard to say no. you cough
up the blood thats suppose to be love. you're drowning inside, I know.
once you've put you arms around my waist, I've already said no.
I stay awake alone tonight. I hear your footsteps climbing up the
ladder into my bedroom window. I've said this before, It's too hard
to say no. as I open the window, the cold breeze blows in, and you
put your arms around me giving me warmth. I still don't want to say
sorry, I don't need to be. I wanna say your forgiven, then I'll be on
my way. you wrap your arms around my waist, and I just push you away.
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| When I Vanish From The World |
[11 Nov 2002|03:30pm] |
I'm empty inside, and only you can fill me up. It's hard to face the
fact that you don't want to. I want to crawl up into your arms, hold
you closely, and die. I would tell you how easy it is for me to hate
you, but I wouldn't want to lie. I'm going to make you happy, baby.
so I'll settle in the darkness and have your hate cut my life up. to
make it better, I'll let you put my parts in this coffin. I should have
said "I love you" more often. but yeah, it's okay. everything will be
alright once I'm burried under the ground. you were the only one I
had. I'll smile when there's a perfect light down your path. I may have
vanished from the world, and I'm never coming back again.. but
when you look up at the sky, I'm still watching you.
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| Living With What You Own |
[11 Nov 2002|03:26pm] |
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the day turns to night, and the stars will fall like rain tonight. you lay at my side gazing at the midnight sky we lay beneathe. i'm starving for you, and you know inside it's killing me. but i'll learn to live with it. there's a silence between us, and you go to sleep. i'll stay here wondering if you're dreaming of me. you may be just closing your eyes just to pretend i'm not there. kill me if you have to, i'm not going anywhere. I want to hold you, your skin fits in so perfectly with mine. I want you to know so bad. I think i'm going crazy tonight. I grab hold of your hand. the stars will fall like thunder bolts tonight. you may understand. if you were to kiss me, I wouldn't mind. I would have you lay by my side right here forever. bleed together. and die together. you hold onto my hand so tight, you look at me with tears in your eyes. I hope this never ends. you look so pretty when you cry. and I think the stars will fall tonight. leaving you to burn, although it feels so right. just promise me one thing. kiss me before you die.
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| Wasting Away |
[08 Nov 2002|11:45pm] |
i was so inlove with him.
no more me, no more you.
wasting away in his skin.
i never said the words i should.
too much to handle in one little lie.
he kicked me out of his life.
for good.
i hope you're happy now.
you know how hard it is for me..
to see you get over this..
so happily.
too much to regret in one little lie.
he likes to see me this way.
to suffer.
to cry.
he likes to say he doesn't care.
i wanna say i'm sorry.
wasting away in his tears.
i never said the words i should
too much to handle in one little lie.
he kicked me out of his life.
for good
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| It's When He Feels Like Fuck |
[08 Nov 2002|11:21pm] |
his words hurt. I can' think of anyone else. his words hurt
so much, and he means them. I throw away all confidence
in myself. another day passes. I blow out the candles on my
birthday cake. one- he's gonna get fucked one way or another.
his heart is full of hate. two- the tears that fall give me energy.
don't think of yeserday. his words mean nothing. no, nothing
anymore. let him sit outside, wanting to come in. just slam
the fucking door! another week passes. his smile fades away.
three- don't you dare come back when you're craving for me.
four- realize you're nothing to me anymore.
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| Knuckle Sandwich |
[07 Nov 2002|08:03pm] |
I'm getting used of being alone. maybe you were right.
you seem happy on your own. but there was something you
were hiding.. you locked yourself in that room, I couldn't see
through. you tried your hardest to get out, the blood slipped
off our fists, and seeped under the door. I stood there like
nothng was wrong. but I'll clean it up, because I love you.
but that door stayed locked, you eyes stayed closed.
this hurts, but I don't know what you're feeling.
you've given up already, but I can't let go. I love you
so much, I'm laughing.
I try to talk to you, but you dont anwer. maybe you're
already dead.. I don't understand, and at this point I
never will. I speak the words I never said.
but the room stays quiet, you don't speak, and the floor
stays wet with blood. maybe you're still inlove..
as I get up to leave, you open the door. you stand there
and start to cry. yeah, I know this is goodbye for the
ver last time.
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| Crimson, Or So It Seems |
[07 Nov 2002|07:58pm] |
I'm so serous, i'm not lying. no I don't see the story, that you're
buying. you cut yourself, you bleed inside of me. crimson blood,
and crimson smiles, or so it seems. he likes to say that i'm the one
and I like to watch him shoot his gun. crimson hearts, and crimson
dreams, or so it seems. it's too bad you had to lose yourself. I wasn't
inlove with somene else. he taught me hw to trust his heart, he dropped
me once, I tore it apart. I wish I could tell him I DID listen.. yeah, so
crimson. and why did I let him taste the poison? the blood was so cold..
and the love was so crimson.
(i'm just gonna writea bunch of poems cuz this thing
needs to be written in. haha.)
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| I Wish Mr. Clean Was Real |
[07 Nov 2002|07:52pm] |
I feel your skin on my lips like I just tasted you yesterday.
you shot me once, but I don't care. I wanted to kill myself
anyway. I taste your flesh on my lips like I just tasted you
just now. I stabed you twice, I said I was sorry. Inside I
never meant it, but someday I'd like to learn how..
oops, the blood, it spills to your feet. you love the fact
that you control me. and you push me out of my spot,
you know in which I stand. and yeah, you know I don't
mean to hurt you, you don't stop. maybe you understand.
and when I kick you down, I love the feeling of guilt.
this is the best pain i've ever felt. and whenever anyone
leaves.. you smile. i'm all you have left. I'll clean up the
blood, if you clean up the mess.
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| Leave Him When He Calls You A Slut |
[07 Nov 2002|07:50pm] |
once again, you fall at his feet.
you fall in the water, and the waves are too deep.
he watches you drown, yeah, he watches you drown..
but i guess its okay, the water is so peaceful, and you can't hear a sound.
once again, time passes so slow.
you hold onto his hand, and you can feel him letting go.
you watch him walk away, yeah, you watch him walk away.
it feels like you've fallen off the face of the world..
you are nothing, little girl.
his heart will turn gold when your's shatters.
maybe this is what he wants.. seems like nothing matters.
and he throws your heart in the fire.
he watches it burn, yeah, he watches it burn.
but i guess it's okay, i know everyone yerns.
and he'll push you down when there's nothing else to do.
he'll watch you die, yeah, he'll watch ou die.
but it's still okay, i guess. i won't have to cry.
he'll sit there. he'll enjoy every minute of it.
he'll sit there. he'll never give a shit.
but he'll relize, there's nothing left to break when your
whole heart is broken.
yeah, i'm just nothing.
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| Winter |
[30 Oct 2002|07:39pm] |
today is just another day.
i stop writing unsent letters..
and just throw them away.
sometimes i wish i could just
stop the world from turning.
just pause everything, and rid that
sense of feeling.
and i wish i could put our picture
back in the frame. stop the tears
from falling.. leave everything the
same.
then in winter, i watch the rain spill
on the window. but winter passes to
another season. i could say i hate you..
but i just have no reason.
yeah, today is just another day.
so was yesterday. so is tomorrow.
you sit alone in happiness.. while
i sit alone in sorrow.
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