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Forget My Name, Forget My Face

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Baby Is This Love For Real? [21 Feb 2005|07:25pm]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | Beating Heart Baby - Head Automatica ]

Wow.. it's been forever. I completely forgot that I even had this thing! Lets explain everything.


Summer 2004- Drew cheated on me with Kailee, more than once. I couldn't believe he did that. I trusted him soo much too. He's the only boy I've ever been in love with. I cheated on him with Mike in return. I tried ecstasy for the first time. I hung out with Drew, Jenni, and LoOla a lot during the summer. We were best friends.

October 2004- Drew and I broke up after 11 months. I broke up with him for this boy Charlie. It was obviously a big mistake because Charlie just fucked me over and was definately too good to be true. Surprise Surprise.

October 2004- I dated Charlie for a month, he like.. pretty much upped and dropped me out of a no where, it really sucked because I had genuine feelings for him.

November 2004- Jeff had a huge party, Drew and I hooked up, he cheated on his girlfriend Gina with me(no not my best friend). I met Matt for the firs time. Big mistake there. Thought for sure me and Drew were going to get back together, but I started hanging out and partying at Matt's with everybody. Drew started sneaking behind my back with Char. I started dating Matt. He is a 23 year old abusive alcoholic who lives in a hotel. Drew and I didn't get back together. I got expelled from school for skips.

December 2004- Matt beat the shit out of me quite a bit, I broke his nose. Finally left Matt for good. Met a boy off FaceTheJury who's name is Alex. He is gorgeous and we used to hang out a lot on the weekends. I spent New Years with Alex, when I probably should of been with all my friends at Matt's but Matt hated my guts and such and I really liked Alex.

January 2005- Finally told Matt to get the fuck out of my life, I hate that mother fucker. It is not okay to beat up a girl. He got hit by a car and thrown 20 feet, haha bastard deserved it. My friend group kind of split from each other and no one really hangs out together as much anymore. Drew started dating a girl named Monica. Alex randomly stopped talking to me out of no where, and like.. broke my heart. I'm easily heart broken I guess. I hung out with Danny for the first time by myself. My birthday was at the end of the month, my party was supposed to be huge, but it got really fucked up and ended up being me, Jeff, Patty and Charlie in a room since Drew, Uncle Joe and Kook left. I hung out with my BFF Courtney a lot and still do. On my birthday, January 30th, Drew cheated on Monica with me and completely led me on and fucked me over.

February 2005- I hang out with my BFF all the time. I sleep with random boys some times. Courtney and I don't like FaceTheJury boys so much. I really like Danny, and he likes me back. I had a second birthday party on Saturday. It was so fun, minus the little bit of drama that happened with Danny and I the next day since he lied to me about doing shit. I really like him a lot. I had sex with him in his car, so we consider ourselves Backseat Lovers. He really is amazing. But um.. what else.. I don't know.. I'm not really sure if there will ever be a Drew and Jackie again, I think I'm fine with that though.. I mean.. he's just too fucked up now. He cheats too much, he does too many drugs.


Anyways.. for the most part now, my life is genuinely happy. I mean.. I'm trying to get my life back on track, like going back to school and not partying as much. Well the not partying as much isn't true.. it's just.. I don't really get a chance to do it much lately haha. I'll try to remember to update this shit from time to time. Not that anyone reads it.. but you know... it's just how I do.

Things Would Get Better

And She Wants Someone To See Her, She Needs To Hear Shes Beautiful.. [04 Apr 2004|01:47pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | I Want To Save You - Something Corporate ]

Friday i found out Drew did some stuff with Katrina a little while back..yeah its been fighting madness ever since. he made out with her when he told me he never even kissed her, only on the cheek. what a big fucking lie, they fucking made out! and when i confronted him about it he was like " well thats all it was at first.. " grr! then a week before we started going out he was telling her he loved her and that he wanted to be with her and that he thought they really had something together and he just needed to tell me. blah wtf? is that not really really gay? i wouldnt do shit like that behind his back.. so yeah Saturday he called me at 8 in the morning and we fought for 3 hours! 3 HOURS. it was gay. i went to Gina's and we picked him up and went to the fair. that sucked so we walked all the way to Drew's house to hang out for like an hour. while we were there, he played a song about Alison, this chick who likes him, that he wrote about her and what i heard of it was " Alison..you're so beautiful.. " and then he turned it off. i was like ' okay..what the fuck? your supposed to be my boyfriend? ' THEN to top it off, he had two chicks that like him repeatedly calling his cell phone asking him to come hang out with them. god, it was pissing me off. we decided to walk back to Gina's because we had to leave before Drew's grandparents got home, so we did that, and Drew got pissed off because i was mad at him about the song and the girls calling. i mean, grr..i dont have a bunch of guys that like me calling me while im with him, i dont have any other guys that like me calling me for that matter, i think i deserve the same courtesy. its not like this is the first time its happened either, it happened again once before when Gina and i were hanging out with him and Gary. Shesus! why do random girls have to call my boyfriend?! they know he has a girlfriend, why dont they just leave him alone? its so retarded, i dont know wouldnt you be mad? grr.. i guess today we're okay, but what else can i do, i cant be like " hey quit talking and flirting with other girls, i know you do it behind my back! " because its not going to stop him, if he cant quit now. which is gay and makes him a bad boyfriend, but whatever. maybe i will say something to him today since im supposed to be going over to his house after he gets back from the mall with his grandma.

i just want to be able to trust him. seriously. thats all i want. maybe i wont be that lucky. :-/

other than the fighting..my weekend was pretty decent.

2 If I Could Find You Now <3 Things Would Get Better

And She Screamed " Claudio! Dear Claudio!! " [31 Mar 2004|11:16pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | Everything Evil - Coheed and Cambria ]

today was good. school was you know the same usual boringness. Drew came home with me today. woot i love him <3 we watched Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas starring the one and only, Johnny Fucking Depp! oh yeah baybeh! today was a good motha f-ing day!

tomorrow im planning a mean joke on Drew lol. it is April Fools Day after all! im sucha nice kid haha. <33

Lauren, my fiance, i love you and i like your haircut woot!

i'll update tomorrow when i get a chance, cuz right now i have to go to bed because i have to get up at 6:07 and im super tired! much

2 If I Could Find You Now <3 Things Would Get Better

Time Consumer, Time Consume Me.. [29 Mar 2004|10:10pm]
[ mood | creative ]
[ music | Shameless - Coheed and Cambria ]

survey )

yeah today wasn't very productive.. i did do some laundry and took a shower. i also made it to school today lol. i love Drew a lot, im really happy to be with him. we almost got acid today..but like..the girl didn't have it yet or something. i offered to sell my body for 3 dollars in my 4th hour class so i could get money for it too. luckily i relaly didnt have to sell my body, my friend Jacob gave it to me lmfao. two people were gonna like take me up on the offer too, i dont think Drew would of been too happy about that one haha. i love that boy. i love telling boys to suck my cock, its a beautiful thing. oh i saw a rainbow today, i think i'll post the pictures. the rainbow +4 ). it was beautiful. i loved it soo much, i just love rainbows..not in a lesbian way..i dont know i just love things like that in nature. i popped out my windows screen to take the picture and i was so happy to take them. school tomorrow is gonna suck my penis..but it does every day..so whats the difference? i want to talk to Drew..i wonder what that ahole is doing..i think i'll find out. later amigos!

ps- i've been listening to Coheed and Cambria like all day..they rock!

3 If I Could Find You Now <3 Things Would Get Better

Boo [28 Mar 2004|05:02pm]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | House Of Flies - Deftones ]

new blurty..i'll post later lol

Things Would Get Better

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