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[02 May 2004|08:05pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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andy's pissing me off.
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[22 Apr 2004|10:01pm] |
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mood |
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 dirty |
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I just gave andy head.. I can't believe it. He took like an hour to actually convince me to do it. Then he came in my mouth.. it tastes like seaweed. Ick.. But it was funny.
Ugh.. Aftertase.
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[19 Apr 2004|08:23pm] |
I hate those moods.. where you just feel like complete and utter shit. I want to cry.. but I can't because my head hurts too much and crying will just make it worse. I feel like an idiot. Everyone knows about my little "episode" on saturday. And I mean everyone. Even people I don't know! Because some fucking little retard named eoin decided to go around and tell everyone what happened to me, he also said I got fucking arrested. Which I didn't.
I'm so sick of people exaggerating the truth, and adding extra, stupid bits onto it. It makes me look like a bigger fucking fool than I already am. I hate it. Why do people constantly spread shit about me? Why do they feel the need to make me out to be a slut, a stupid cunt and a fucking pathetic attention whore. I hate them. I fucking hate them all. From now on I'll just fucking keep myself to myself and not let anyone else know my business or what goes on in my life.
I hate them, and I hate myself for getting that drunk, and losing my fucking bag. I feel like an idiot. I don't even remember half the stuff from saturday.
I thought eoin still liked me? I thought he was still in love with me? I thought he didn't want to fuck up our "friendship" again? Well you did it again. And this time I won't forgive you. This time there will be no second chances because I'm sick of the shit I have to put up with for you. I'm sick of having you spread rumours about me, and telling everyone my business and what I go through.
You've fucked it up again. Thank you. You've also managed to make an asshole out of me. I hope your happy. I hope your pleased that you managed to make me ashamed to show my face in public.
Crawl down a hole and die. Do everyone a favour. They're all sick of your shit. You're such a liar. You're such a fake. You're such an arsehole!
Fuck sake. Fuck this. I'm so sick of trying to maintain a certain image, just to have it ruined by the slightest thing. over and over again.
I just want to curl up and fade away.
Do people think it's funny to do shit like this to someone? Do they find it fun to ruin someone's image.. and make them out to be fools?
I hate this. I hate it all.. I'm fucking sick of school already and I wasn't even in today. Just the thought of going back tomorrow makes me want to jump out my window. I can't do it anymore. I've got no will to try anymore. It's such an effort to get up in the morning. I really want to try. I want to be good in school. I want to be able to cop onto maths, and irish, and everything else I have problems with. But there's only 6 weeks left in school.. and my way of thinking of it is I'll start next year. But I know I won't. And if I don't buck up by the end of this year, they're going to kick me out. They're legally allowed to now.
I really have to cop on. I have to stop drinking. I have to stop smoking hash and doing drugs. I have to stop all that crap if I want to cop on. I have to calm myself down.. I'm just getting myself worked up.
*sigh*
[/rant]
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[19 Apr 2004|04:37pm] |
ugh.. i'm sick. They sent me home for puking.. bwahaha haaaa!
andy's upset and not talking to me. fuck sake.. I wish he'd just cheer up. I love him so much.. it's hurts so see him so upset.
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[15 Apr 2004|10:33pm] |
Today was an extremely uneventful day.. although an extremely hyper one at that. Everyone was hyper.. There was me, Fi, Steph and eventually Andy got hyper too.
Che.. originally a 'paki' is now an 'iraqi terrorist'. My friends are so cruel.. They all started saying he's going to hang-glide over dublin and drop bombs on everyone. I found it bloody hilarious.. even though it was cruel. lol.. He also threw a fucking bottle at my head so I got up and kicked him and *almost* pushed him over the wall.. his elbows were all cut. It was so funny.. and then I threw a twig at his face!
It's fun when everyone's hyper. Steph kept laughing at a blade of grass because she has a filthy little mind and it looked like a penis. lol..
We walked over to dunnes.. because I wanted chips. And me and steph went down the black path, opposite to where everyone else was going.. And we saw Dotsy.. quite possibly the gayest guy I've ever met. And steph fell on the ground and burst out in laughter and she dragged me down and i bounced my head off the muck. It hurt.. but it was funny.
Then fi came over and we all ran down the path (it's a long path..) because we wanted to beat andy, jamie, phily and someone else to dunnes. But we lost.. and then we saw James kavanagh.. can anyone say gay lord?! We got Fi to go over and start coming onto him to see what he'd do.. lmao!! She started stroking his arm and he told her to fuck off!
Then dan went over.. Good old reliable dan! And he started touching kavanagh's ass and stroking him and such. It was the best. ever.
But then I got a really weird text from steo. He said "tell your mother I'm not taking that fucking job and she has just ruined my life" I was like what the fuck?! So I texted him back asking him what he was talking about.. but I got no reply. He's in work now so I can't knock around.. I wonder what happened? I told him my mam was a bitch!
But then that's when it happened.. Andy went insane. He got so hyper. The most hyper I've ever seen him in my whole life and he was trying to unzip my trousers and he just wouldn't give up! He just kept going and going.. and bloody going!
But in the end I won.. and andy had to go home.
lol.. that's about my story for the day.
xXx
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[14 Apr 2004|04:05pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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Alloy'd - high velocity |
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I'm stuck indoors yet again.. I'm babysitting and I can't go out. Andy's hungover too.. so that's not good. He's staying in too; so there's really no point in me going out if Andy's not there because I'll be the 9th wheel, with everyone and their couples and such.
Although Blast is on this Saturday! My cousins band, underskore are playing. They're quite the best I've heard so far.. although yet again, Andy doesn't want to go in because he can't get into the pit. *rolls eyes*
I want to go to blast.. but I don't want to go there without him.. plus I'll be drunk and I need someone to take care of me!
*whinge* *moan*
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[14 Apr 2004|02:34pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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limp bizkit - behind blue eyes |
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I'm wrecked.. I thought I'd make up a blurty.. just for the shits and giggles of it all.
Well.. here I am.
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