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For Our Eyes Only

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[06 Sep 2005|09:27pm]

telescope_skies

this letter is about as fake as you actully caring



lie to me


Tell me everything is going to work out like you promised you would. im begging you to do this for me. i don't care how much you stil care about her, after you'd sworn up and down it was only me. it's like you WANT me to leave, like you're chasing me away. and it's not that i wouldn't leave if you asked me to, because i want what's best for you. and if you decided i wasn't best, then i'd pick up all my feelings and go

but the problem is..


I CANT


and im sorry if patience makes me restless. but i can't help that i stay up waiting for your call, waiting for any sign you're actully thinking about me. but you aren't. and i've learned to accept the fact that you lie through your teeth. and those lies feed me exactly the lines i want to hear. and, with those lies you've got me eating out of the palm of your hand. you could hurt me as many times as you wanted to, and i assure you i'd still come crawling back. and yes, that's pathetic. and yes, im ashamed. but i can't help what you do to me. and i can't help that i still need you before i fall asleep. any fragment of you is all i need.

happy birthday to me


it doesn't help you're still the only one i want. ♥
Opinion

[30 Dec 2004|06:36pm]

lovesuicide45
[ mood | cold ]

im new here ( this is perfect for me )

well here i go iguess iLl spill my heart out

i met this boy , and he swept me off my feet .. i guess its fare to say that has never happened to me before iv always been the unatainable sort of girl .. relationships are something i just dont do , because i come from an overly broken home . so relationships and such just scare me , But I love him , and he knows that and he says he loves me too , but i can never be so sure , because everyone that has ever told me they loved me has left , and i mean legit everyone ... But hes in a program now and i was talking to him the other night , and he wants to run away from his program? .. i dont know if i should support his thoughts or talk him out of it? im just stuck i guess .. i want to support him ... so i can see him because i miss him so much , but then again i think thats selfish ...... and My friend is at the same place as him , and He supposivly told her that he broke up with me and I dont want to admit it , yet He sends me letters telling me how much he loves me , and calls me and stuff , and wen i bring that up he said it never happened ... And then wen i ask my friend abt it .. her story changes ..

well I dont know im just confused . .. ::confusion is nothing new::

Opinion

[16 Jul 2005|08:24pm]

telescope_skies
so this rayn character.

13 missed calls. (( i gnored them))
3 voice messages.
9 minutes.
and after the 13th call the voice mail was "i guess i can't get ahold of you"

NO SHIT DUMBASS



so i told him to take a hike. a long one. and to fall off a cliff as well.
Opinion

[16 Jul 2005|08:20pm]

telescope_skies

oh i hope he doesnt read this. FUCK HIM.



YOU'RE A CLINGY FUCKING ASSHOLE AND I HATE YOU. YOU SUCK. PENIS. YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS, NO WONDER. I HATE HATE HATE HATE YOU. AND I DON'T LIKE WHO YOU REALLY ARE. I HATE HATE HATE HATE YOUR GUTS RYAN. EAT MY SHIT




that felt surprisingly good. ♥
Opinion

[16 Jun 2005|10:44pm]

stillnotawesome
Hey I'm new here.
Thought I'd have a rant bout what happened to me tonight.
I went to this club I havent been to in two years. And those two years ago, there was this guy there that I had a major crush and he had a major crush on me too, but we never did anything about it. Well, he did, he asked me but I was too scared or something.
So I go tonight and he was there! His first night back after 2 years as well! Coincidence? I don't know.
So we were talking & laughing & flirting like we had met up every single day to flirt and laugh of those two years, or like those two years never were.
And it was amazing. He gave me one of his bracelets. So I gave him a hug...

& he gave me butterflies.

And now I feel guilty, because there is this guy I met a few months ago, I have this thing with. WE're not going out or anything. I mean, he lives miles away and we never get to see each other or talk or anything. And I thought I was in love with him, but I'm not. My feelings faded.
But now it feels odd to feel like that about anyone else other than This guy because I got so used to 'being in love' with him.
I feel wrong to feel this way about J.
But in the end..I feel like it.
I feel like getting all dressed up and going to this club every week just to see at him. I feel like smiling right now.
I feel h a p p y, and I haven't felt like that in a long long time. But it still feels wrong. Like I'm attatched to Mike (guy living far far away from me).
He says he loves me, but he doesn;'t act like it.
And me and J just have this connection. We're drawn to each other.
I never forgot him, He was my first love. How could I?

But now I'm thinking he may be last...my only.

I write my journal entries in www.livejournal.com/users/stillnotawesome

I don't really use my blurty anymore.
well thanks for listening. Man i needed to get that off my chest because my best friend now has a crush on J too and I couldn't tell her. I just couldn't.
Opinion

im convo...i feel so much freer! [16 Jun 2005|02:17pm]

pink_polo
Tim: hey. it was funthe otherday. i miss you...
Me: Tim stop. im done with this
Tim: I kind of figured that when the otehr day. you
seemed...well yeah
Me: someday call me ok? not now though. cause after
all of this i have no more engergy at all to do this.
but please do one more thing for me
Tim: what
Me: stop drinking so much. please? it realy worries
me
Tim: im gonna try. i promise you. marisa im sorry for
all of this. i really care about you
Tim: more than i've ever cared abuot anyone.
everything is hard, but its a good kind of scarey
feeling so, i will call you someday. in a few yeras
ok?
Me: you better. bye tim. sorry i ruined yoru senior
yr
Tim: bye, and dont worry. you didnt.



and then his away message:
She's heartbreakingly bueatiful. and she's breaking my
heart.
I'm gonna miss you. you didnt ruin anything about my
life, it was my fault all along.
Opinion

[04 Jun 2005|11:16pm]

how_bittersweet
OY! so i met him in feburary of 2004. we talked on and off and every time we did we liked each other. he asked me out in december and i never answered because, well i was scared. he doesn't live in the same town or go to the same school. so, he got mad at me for not asnwering and stopped talking to me. i was crushed. then in about april we started talking again. i went on spring break and we talked while i was in florida. he's just so sweet and so nice. i get back and we always make plans but something always messes them up. so, i haven't seen him since DECEMBER and he asks me out. i really like him so i said yes because i didn't want him to get mad and stop talking to me. get ready for this part, he's black. my parents don't know. they wouldn't approve. so i never let him call so we only talk on AIM. it sucks. we've been going out almost 3 weeks. it's just so hard. about a week ago i got so fed up that i almost broke up with him, but he's SOO incredibly nice, unlike any guy i've ever dated. and when he gets online he says "hey babe" and i love it. but once again, IT'S SO HARD! ...what do i do? help, please, help!
Opinion

[30 May 2005|08:49pm]

telescope_skies
as i finished my fifth piece of watermelon, and contemplated eating a sixth, i thanked god this watermelon was seedless. it sounds random and stupid, but i was so glad. life has been going great, dont get me wrong. but i can't stand always getting let down or doing the letting down. "friends with benefits" what a funny phrase. i mean, sure. there aren't any "strings" attached. but.. have we forgotten about the emotional strings? sure, it could just be careless "fooling around" for one person. but i knwo it has to mean a hell of a lot more to the other. and, she doesn't have any other expierience, she has no one to compare him to. she doesn't realize that what he's doing in selfish and wrong. so please.

LET HER DOWN EASY

Opinion

[29 May 2005|02:32pm]
____yernamehere
he says he loves me, and sometimes i can see it in his eyes. but he is with her, and he doesnt realize....how much pain it puts on me to see them together.i wish things were how they used to be;i wish things were so much better. i miss him so much, and he doesnt even fucking realize it..
Opinion

[22 May 2005|08:07pm]

super__ned
sometimes I dont understand why she doesnt notice me. I'll be sitting there laughing or telling a joke and she looks at me with those beautiful blue eyes, those beautiful sad eyes and gives a little chuckle. but its one of those pity chuckles. she is laughing for me because she feels bad because its obvious I am trying to hard. I want her acceptance, I want her love. I want all of her. there must be something wrong with me. there is something wrong with me. I cant just pretend I love myself and I love who I am. I feel like I would be so much happier if she were in my life.
I want her to take me away
but I feel so ugly inside and out.
Opinion

Seems everywhere I turn is dead. [15 May 2005|09:55pm]
spicyedge
[ mood | bitchy ]

I need to vent and I found this place. Yet just like every other journal or community I've turned to- they are all dead. No one posts in communities on blurty. I look up people with the same interests as me and no one has touched their journals for years.

This aggravates the heck out of me. I'm searching to find a friend, or just someone to talk to, and everything blurty comes up with is dead. It seems like I should use Live journal, yet I know there are scouts that search lj for things to make fun of on pages like somethingawful and such.

Anyway, I'm done now...

Opinion

[31 May 2004|11:46am]

hidden_smiles
ugh i realy hate myself sometimes. dealing with my friends is driving me nuts and i always feel like im wrong. my friends lie to be and talk behind my back and i dont know who to trust and who not to. i wish i had better ways to deal with anger but i dont know how to. my parents seem to hate me and my brother and sister are never around. this blows...sorry i just needed to vent...

--Jay
Opinion

[30 May 2004|12:11am]

hidden_smiles
Hey im new to the group. ive never realy joined any of the communities before but i saw yours and thought i would give it a try. i suppose i will stat off by telling you a little about myself. im 15 years old. kinda skinny or average most would say (120) although it doesnt always seem so skinny to me. Ive been cutting for almost a year and im having a realy hard time stopping. most of my friends dont realy know me and are often quick to judge. i was hoping i could seek comfort and refuge among others who could understand how i felt. i would love to here back from someone.
Opinion

Hellow [18 Nov 2003|04:03pm]
anutanu
Let me tell you, everyone has been asking who the guy I like is and I made it the funnyest riddle and told them what year he was and other related stuff they were gussing for about and hour or two. I also found out he took 6th place in the last years school marathon! I hate running and am fat so I am always slow.
3 Thoughts | Opinion

alone in darkness [16 Nov 2003|01:38am]

sinfull_endulge
[ mood | awake ]

hi..
i just joined blurty i have a journal @ deadjournal.com but this looked more intresting its pretty late and im tierd as shit... alot has been going on latlety when ever i get high all i do is get upset about my grandpa dieing.. then as soon as i am off my trip everything else upsets me.. my mom doesnt know if she is going to get fired s0on or where she is going to work next.. well im really tierd so i am going to go to bed...
description-
eyes-dark brown
hair-dark red and bleach blonde
body-intresting display of piercings(tounge ,belly button, 4 ear holes in each ear , my nose) and self mutaltion..
::it always rains here::
Sincerly Devestated Daniella
www.deadjournal.com/users/tearsofpain666

1 Thought | Opinion

Grrr [11 Nov 2003|05:16pm]
anutanu
[ mood | aggravated ]

Life sometimes is so frustrating really, you just want to scream, I can get a person out of my mind why? Emorions what are they really? I dont offten romble but I think its very usefull at time to untangle your thoughts. People are srupid and ignorant It pisses me of.

3 Thoughts | Opinion

[09 Nov 2003|11:46pm]

neonblack
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | the hunger-- digital slave ]

GOD I FUCKING HATE... HATE HATE HATE HATE! POPUPS

THEY RUIN EVERYTHING!

1 Thought | Opinion

urgh [27 Oct 2003|10:55pm]

neonblack
I HATE STUPID PEOPLE THAT STAND OUTSIDE OF YOUR DOOR ACTING STUPID AND ON THE PHONE, WHEN THEY CAN FUCKING TALK IN THEIR OWN ROOMS, BUT CHOOSE TO DO IT IN THE HALLWAY RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR DOOR!

*gets out her gun*
Opinion

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