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[29 Mar 2004|08:24pm] |
Today, while lamenting to Lindsey about my love for Ben, she asked me what was wrong with what I have now. And it made me think. Because what is exactly wrong with being his best friend? After all, being that I am a living, breathing female, that is clearly the most important part of the relationship. The sexual relations that come along with having a boyfriend should be superfluous; right now what we have is what everybody wishes to have with someone.
And honestly, it's never felt more perfect. I can't even describe how comfortable our friendship is; when I try to put it into words I'm speechless. I have never, ever felt like this towards anyone. I thought I had been in love... but this is better than what I thought was love. There's just never a dull moment; there's never nothing to talk about. I feel like he is a part of me. As trite as this all sounds, when I'm with him there is nowhere else I would rather be.
So I have the most important part. I have the nightly phonecalls, I have the shoulder to cry on, I have the ever-growing list of inside jokes. Why is it that I'm not satisfied?
Why is it that the feeling you get right before you kiss someone for the first time has become second-nature to me? I don't even feel it anymore, I know it's there.
Why is it that it takes every ounce of self-restraint in me to keep from kissing him? WHY IS THAT? Why has he turned me into a hormonal prepubescent boy?
Here's your classic movie moment. Here's me, looking into his big blue eyes and knowing this is it, and here's me not making a move because I know I can't.
Here's me, completely head over heels. Where is he?
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[29 Mar 2004|09:12pm] |
Today, while lamenting to Lindsey about my love for Ben, she asked me what was wrong with what I have now. And it made me think. Because what is exactly wrong with being his best friend? After all, being that I am a living, breathing female, that is clearly the most important part of the relationship. The sexual relations that come along with having a boyfriend should be superfluous; right now what we have is what everybody wishes to have with someone.
And honestly, it's never felt more perfect. I can't even describe how comfortable our friendship is; when I try to put it into words I'm speechless. I have never, ever felt like this towards anyone. I thought I had been in love... but this is better than what I thought was love. There's just never a dull moment; there's never nothing to talk about. I feel like he is a part of me. As trite as this all sounds, when I'm with him there is nowhere else I would rather be.
So I have the most important part. I have the nightly phone calls, I have the shoulder to cry on, I have the ever-growing list of inside jokes. Why is it that I'm not satisfied?
Why is it that the feeling you get right before you kiss someone for the first time has become second-nature to me? I don't even feel it anymore, I know it's there.
Why is it that it takes every ounce of self-restraint in me to keep from kissing him? WHY IS THAT? Why has he turned me into a hormonal prepubescent boy?
Here's your classic movie moment. Here's me, looking into his big blue eyes and knowing this is it, and here's me not making a move because I know I can't.
Here's me, completely head over heels. Where is he?
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