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Wednesday, May 14th, 2008
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8:36p
So... I haven't been to the gym this week.. amazingly its NOT because I have no time... i just don't feel like it... which is kind of weird considering i always wine about not having time to go... blablabla...
I got back to school this monday except my school schedule is pretty awesome (in some ways)... I take 6 courses every 3-4 months... Normally its 3 monday wednesday and fridays and 3 tuesdays and thusdays... this term i have 3 online courses (which might be pretty intense... i don't know yet) and 3 tuesday-thursday classes... so after work (1pm) mon-wedn-fri i'm basically free (although with online-stuff to do) and tuesdays and thursdays i go to school 5.30-10pm... which is... hmm different... i'm not sure if it's better...
My intake has been alright lately... not awesome, just alright... I want to go back to my super strict diet but i can't bring myself to it... salad-tuna-grilled chicken-fruit-veggies-slim fast shakes... i just don't feel like it... so lately its been pretty weird... i rarely eat anything for breakfast, i have a normal lunch meal and eat whatever for dinner... blah... i need to change that...
AAaanyways... i don't really have much to post about... except that the boy said something that freaked me out.. he said he wanted to get married in a bit more than 1 year... w.t.f. its not that i don't want to but it scares the crap out of me that i'm still so fucking young and whatnot... but honestly being in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship for too long can be bad too... tomorrow we will officially be at our 3 year 4 month mark... wow... and i honestly have no idea WHEN i'll be "ready"... because most of the people that i know that are married at this age are just because they were pregnant... i'm turning 21 in a few weeks and he's turning 26 in july... its weird... because i don't want to date him for like 5 years, you know? and i'm quite sure we could be happy but i guess i wish i knew someone else getting married young and not thinking they've fucked up... that's all... and our age difference makes it harder, maybe because if I were turning 26 i might be feeling more ready but i can't ask for this relationship to wait another 5 years... and he'd be 31... so... yeah... meh i don't know...
i guess if i were out of college (which i'll be in 1.5 years) and had a stable job... i wouldn't be so freaked out... blah...
i guess i wouldn't say no... but... mehhh i'm such a control freak that i'm not sure i could handle it...
we'll see
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