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Monday, April 7th, 2008
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12:21a
I dont know what to do... I remember I once posted about this guy O.. who is a VERY good friend of the boy... and once told me that i should be careful with him because he'd so fuck me if i allowed him... yes, he was drunk... but then, last weekend he was drunk again and gave me a quick lip kiss, a peck... i tried to brush it off because i didn't want to cause a scene and i really thought he hadn't meant to do it... this weekend he told me that he had wanted to talk to me about "that kiss he gave me".... i'm like "Huh? what kiss?" because I hate those kinds of conversations... and i told him i didn't remember and that it was "no problem, because clearly you didn't mean to"... and he responded with a "oh, yes i did... and if you wouldn't have gone home with your boyfriend i would've invited you to my apartment" (trying to be cool about it) i just said "oh you drunk-ass... control yourself haha or i'll tell on you and he'll beat you up"... and then as the night went on he was getting drunk (yet again) he french-kissed my shoulder just to "show me" how he was trying to kiss me the previous weekend...
See, I am aware that he's newly single and he must be super horny and whatnot... but WTF!!!
I REALLY don't want to tell the boy because EEEVERY time i come clean about stuff like this i always end up feeling like crap and ruining friendships and relationships... im fucking TIRED of it... and i mean... what in the world have IIII done for him to be acting like this... gah it makes me feel like im a slut and i might have caused this... i mean, it is NOT the first time it has happened... asdkaskjdajksdkkajwieuaiueiaassdkj bullshit.
hmm blah... im tired of feeling fat...
i ran into this guy i dated when i wasl ike 16... and honestly all i could think of is my fatness and how he must be thinking i look huge... barf... barf... barf...
and my dad is still insane
and my mom is still acting like an irresponsible 18-yr-old with a new boyfriend
and bullshit
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9:38p
Today's intake was a LITTLE bit under 1200 but in case I forgot to add something i'll leave it at 1200...
NOW...
I can officially substract 700 calories from my goal...
39300 calories to go
59 days to go
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